Hello, I need some help navigating my first steps with DMT.
I made the machine which is 50 ml one-serving bottle.
The spice itself is slightly yellow and fluffy with some sparkle to it. Doesn't smell strong
My weight is around 65 kg/143 lbs
I am doing my first steps trying to learn how to vape properly.
Loaded what i assume 15 mg of dmt. I used scales but they read only in 10 mg, so i loaded 30 mg and divided that amount by making long line between folded paper.
Here's what happened:
I was sitting cross-legged prepare to lay down. Placing jet-torch around 3 inches below the bottle facing down i was slowly inhaling it but for the first maybe 5-6 seconds didn't see any smoke, so i just continued to inhale with the same pace. About as fast as i would drink a coctail through a straw. Then the smoke started to appear so i began to inhale faster until i hit my lungs' capacity. There was still some smoke left so with the last attempt i loaded as much as i can and lie down.
No burning sensation or whatever unpleasant, the smoke tasted little bit creamy/fresh sneakers with a tad of cotton candy.
At this point i already felt like well shaked bottle of cola which have been instantly opened.
As i lie down i felt as my chest bursting with the extra pressure from all the air i was holding in my lungs, i tried to release a little bit but i saw the smoke coming out so i held it.
My heart felt like i am gonna have a heart attack.
Things got really intense here so i was just "wtf.. whatever" and finally exhaled. I don't rememeber seeing any smoke in those morphing lines anyway.
I closed my eyes and felt as it is my end. My chest were dizzy and as my conciosuness were sliding out of the body i couldn't tell if my heart is beating or not.
I didn't see any chrysanthemum or all those Alex Grey's like landscapes. There were just many shapes keep on exploding in the ever increasing intricateness which sucked whatever left of me into it. I didn't pay much attention to all these patterns anyway as my ego was like strobing through a serie of Q-and-A's trying to save it from a sure end. It seems in the end i let go of the ego and somehow i accepted that it is inevitable that i am gonna die, but as soon as i accepted it i realised that i can't die anyway. No such thing in this eternity. Obviously it was much more complicated than that but this is the closest i can get. No visible entities, perhaps i felt some presence which were guiding me through Q-and-A's phase but i am not sure. When i got to the final answer it left me and i floated for some time in pure wonder. Then i just landed back in a matter of seconds. Suddenly i felt my body again and i opened my eyes to check it. Yep, i was back, but i closed them to take my time and process what just happened. I was breathing heavily like you breathe when you trying to calm yourself taking deep inhales and exhaling noisily through tighten lips. At this point this ego voice popped up with the most obsessive question: "So what? Did i breakthrough?!". Then giggles attack came and i was like "here you are, the epitome of maniac self-concern".
Thank you for reading all that rattle that far.
Questions.
1. Did i breakthrough? I still felt like some residue of my body but i didn't lose the sense completely like say with ketamine. I still vaguely felt my head on the pillow and my hands on the chest.
2. If i did not, what would be an estimated breakthrough dose then? Honestly, i didn't even imagine that 15 mg would be that intense. I was aiming for 30 mg but now vaping twice as much seems plain scary.
3. How to prevent heart racing? I mean entering hyperspace with my heart beating out of my chest isn't good "set-and-setting". Pre flight anxiety is already bad on me and while normally i can calm myself by breathing deeply and slowly here i need to hold my breath which doesn't help with such an intense bast off.
