Sorry, I was feeling too wiped out to post anything coherent at that point. It's a rare moment when I'm in the mood to discuss spiritual or philosophical ideas in any case.
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Mechanism questions everything: a quest toward pure awareness
- Thread starter northape
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Well, as they say - those who can do, those who can't teach, and those who can't teach teach sport, while those who teach Kant work in the philosophy department, just not your one
Maybe this reply should go in the offsprung thread, but I was in an ordinary (for me) state of consciousness at the time and had never taken any drugs other than caffeine, so I'm not sure what you mean about control.
I had a number of spontaneous mystical or visionary experiences starting from an early age but didn't particularly notice them as such at the time. My somewhat religious upbringing served to obfuscate them if anything.
Yeah, this should go in the other thread.
[Allahqazam and here we are…]
Mechanism
Established member
I mean when you realized something was watching, and then recognized that that something was you (the real you), did it feel as if you were controlling your body like a marionette, or just watching something predetermined play out, or maybe something in between?
Also what was the catalyst for this? If you don't mind talking about it.
I experience this in two ways. Since childhood, I've always had a sense something was watching me external to me. I chalk it up to hypersensitivity to be pragmatic, but I never rule out more mystical considerations.
Then there's me the observer, which I never found weird to realize. From the way in which I think most likely, it's not really controlling my body like a marionette or something premeditated, but instead a serious of offshoots of potential options or routes of both thought and action and I can "see" this with regards to both all the time. It becomes nested which is what makes it overwhelming, but it's also where my strong felt sense of choice from will comes from.
One love
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Prior to that, at the age of about 9 years, I recall wondering why exactly I was (am) experiencing this [alleged] reality through my own eyes. I'm yet to come to any firm conclusion on that matter. Neither do I recall having associated these two matters before. Keeping some sort of a diary probably would have been a good idea in helping to organise my thoughts in this sphere, but there's a large part of me that regards this as fundamentally pointless.
Mechanism
Established member
Woah wait a second. That wasn't dissociation was it? Really sorry if I assumed incorrectly.
Anyway I'd rate this higher than video games. Really gets you pumped for death too!
I have a paradox for Voidmatrix: Why does looking forward to dying make living so much more enjoyable?
Anyway I'd rate this higher than video games. Really gets you pumped for death too!
I have a paradox for Voidmatrix: Why does looking forward to dying make living so much more enjoyable?
I'll give a little comment on it because it hits close to home. My take is that you've never met a real Death if you're looking forward to it. Like you, I had that idea that I've seen stuff, and death would be just one more awesome experience. DMT surely prepared me well enough for it. Sadly, that's not the case. When you go to a deeper level and really meet your mortality, all you get is fear and a clinging to life. To truly face Death, you need a very high level of maturity as a human being, and even then it won't be easy. Tibetans prepare their whole life for this event. But yeah, on a surface psychological level, I look forward to it, and it removes a lot of existential angst.
Pumpy
Titanium Teammate
Dein Duetsch zeigt ? (sport) =DWell, as they say - those who can do, those who can't teach, and those who can't teach teach sport, while those who teach Kant work in the philosophy department, just not your one
I agree with this. I had had some deep experiences with mushrooms, ego death etc. When laying on a hospital bed, intubated, seeing the heart rate monitor show lower and lower numbers, I only could feel extreme fear and clinging, and (later, I couldn't really think there) understood I wasn't prepared.
I do think it's possible to get ready to one day accept the experience when it comes, and that's one of my goals. That probably entails facing many experiences one is definitely not ready for, before the definitive moment comes.
Makes me reflect on my DMT fears...
SMOALK MOAR
One love
Edit: To elaborate, some of my response to DMT is a trauma response and my third journey I was convinced more than at any other time in my life that I had died. Dying was hard. Coming back was hard.
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I think it is not just about DMT, but life in general. Facing our fears and opening to reality are what maturation is about. We strip ourselves of dysfunctional patterns until only space remains. How you do it is up to you. No one can judge you except yourself. I always remember the Bhagavad Gita here and how it presents the whole path as a battle inside ourselves. Dharma always wins; that is the only outcome.
“Approach what you find repulsive, help the ones you think you cannot help, and go places that scare you. ”
― Machig Labdrön
We usually mature through suffering; that is the hard truth of any path, even a psychedelic one. Much Love, Brother
Mechanism
Established member
Hey in my defense, I've seen death, smelled death, touched death and been in situations where I was almost certain I was going to die. Back then I was 100% a materialist, which made me very comfortable with the idea because you can't feel sorry for yourself if you don't exist. After "waking up" so to speak, that comfort has been replaced with excitement. Point is I'm not talking out of my ass here LOL.
That said, I'd love to hear about the experiences that shaped your attitude towards death but I'm getting the impression that they're very personal so I won't pry.
That said, I'd love to hear about the experiences that shaped your attitude towards death but I'm getting the impression that they're very personal so I won't pry.
No one questioned you or your experience. What I pointed to is that maybe there is a deeper level that is much scarier than you could have imagined. Just be open; that is the best advice here
Mechanism
Established member
No one questioned you or your experience. What I pointed to is that maybe there is a deeper level that is much scarier than you could have imagined. Just be open; that is the best advice here
Could you expand on that? You're not talking about hell are you?
EDIT: Or ego death maybe?
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Mechanism
Established member
Haha okay, so he's being intentionally cryptic! As far as I know the scariest thing someone could experience is their own identity dissolving but if there's something else I'm all ears.
The only other thing I can think of is being trapped in some kind of thought cascade or loop.
Hell and heaven are in your mind, like everything else. Ego death is a hard topic, just as a breakthrough is, and you will see many interpretations.
What I mean is that the death experience could be really convincing, and that kind of journey does not leave you optimistic, but broken.
Putting yourself together and coming to terms with your new definition of death and what is possible could take a lot of time and work.
I tried to be as diplomatic as possible. Basically, the rabbit hole is infinitely deep. It is better not to create fixed concepts on what is what.
Be open and enjoy the show
The title of this thread is perfect, btw
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