My Ambition

[Seraph]

One of my ambitions, as well as the ambition among ambitions of many others, is to be high forever. Before you ask, no I am not twelve. I think this could be achieved by switching between many, many different types of drugs so at to not develop tolerances and harmalas would be important for this as tolerance would be an inevitability despite my efforts to prevent it. The basic principle of my ambition is that every time I come down from a drug or combination of drugs I would just take another drug or combination of drugs so I could become high again.

I would use these drugs mainly: DMT, psilocin, seed-derived lysergamides, bufotenine, 5-Meo-DALT, 5-MeO-DMT, harmine, harmaline, THH, salvinorin A (I want to try snorting a VERY SMALL AMOUNT of this to see if it has effects by intranasal administration) and datura seeds (for nausea control)

Those are the drugs I would prefer but I would also take opiates, opioids and stimulants to avoid tolerance becoming too high with hallucinogenics.

Are there people who achieve being high forever? Are there any long-term problems caused by excessive euphoria? Does euphoria have a limit? If I took a combination of the most euphoric drugs and then took another euphoric drug with this combination would my euphoria go higher or is there a ceiling effect to euphoria?

 

[Global]

I think what you'd find if you try to head down this road is that the substances that used to illicit euphoria will slow down or stop. This is probably also highly unhealthy. I'm sure your heart wouldn't be too happy. You wanna smoke weed all day? That's one way to stay high all day. Constantly switching between potent drugs doesn't sound healthy just going on intuition. Also using harmalas probably wouldn't mix well with many drugs.

 

[gibran2]

What purpose would this serve?

 

[rOm]

This doesn't sound like very constructive ambition put in this way.
seeking for euphoria only also looks very reductive approach to entheogens.
Plus the risk to developp addiction.
Your opiates part sound scary.

 

[joedirt]

One of my ambitions, as well as the ambition among ambitions of many others, is to be high forever. Before you ask, no I am not twelve. I think this could be achieved by switching between many, many different types of drugs so at to not develop tolerances and harmalas would be important for this as tolerance would be an inevitability despite my efforts to prevent it. The basic principle of my ambition is that every time I come down from a drug or combination of drugs I would just take another drug or combination of drugs so I could become high again.

I would use these drugs mainly: DMT, psilocin, seed-derived lysergamides, bufotenine, 5-Meo-DALT, 5-MeO-DMT, harmine, harmaline, THH, salvinorin A (I want to try snorting a VERY SMALL AMOUNT of this to see if it has effects by intranasal administration) and datura seeds (for nausea control)

Those are the drugs I would prefer but I would also take opiates, opioids and stimulants to avoid tolerance becoming too high with hallucinogenics.

Are there people who achieve being high forever? Are there any long-term problems caused by excessive euphoria? Does euphoria have a limit? If I took a combination of the most euphoric drugs and then took another euphoric drug with this combination would my euphoria go higher or is there a ceiling effect to euphoria?

You will take this hard. You may not be 12 but your thought pocess is still stuck at 12,

Just out of curiosity, what do you think your mental state will be after a couple of months of this? You think it's hard to cope with reality now?

Flat-out. Dont do this. It's stupid and you know it. If you can't enjoy the awesomeness of life without drugs then you need to get clean ASAP. Life is precious and drugs can enhance it. Drugs however can not replace life. Enjoy what you have and be thankful for it!

 

[Dreamwalker]

Besides being ridiculously expensive I don't see how you plan on keeping this going for too long. Do you work or have any kind of social life?

 

[corpus callosum]

I think if you manage to fulfill your ambition to be high all the time, you can probably wave goodbye to the other ambitions on your list.Moderation in all things is the best way to go, IMO.

 

[Seraph]

I go to work but I have no social life, I work four days a week as a kitchen porter, on the three days I am not working where I live is like a full-time lab, I'm always extracting or further-purifying something. What is happening in my life is because I have disposable income from my job (I am using between 10 to 20% of my wages to buy extraction stuff and things like cebil seeds) I am slowly gaining more and more drugs at a rate much faster than I use them. I guess I'm stupid to ever think my ambition is possible without great loss but at the moment I'm acquiring many, many drugs.

 

[Shadowman-x]

have you considered taking up a hobby.
knitting maybe?

 

[Seraph]

have you considered taking up a hobby.
knitting maybe?

Last time I checked knitting wasn't very euphoric, I might not be up to date with knitting though. One of the things I like about drugs is they allow me to be happy regardless of the situations I am in, if I enjoyed knitting I would not be able to knit in many of the circumstances that I can take drugs in. I have severe depression that I have had for ages which is not drug-related because I was severely depressed way before I used ANY drugs. Euphoria makes me happy enough so that I feel normal and not severely depressed, my drive to use drugs is quite strong because when I had no job and no money I used to extract codeine from codeine and paracetamol combination tablets in public toilets using coffee filters, muslin cloth, a syringe and plastic cups because I was in a situation where I could not extract at home but I needed to avoid depression. I know it is sad that I did codeine extractions in public toilets but I wanted to get high.

 

[Sally]

I have severe depression that I have had for ages which is not drug-related because I was severely depressed way before I used ANY drugs. Euphoria makes me happy enough so that I feel normal and not severely depressed.

Using substances to feel normal is not good, its a slippery slope and you end up feeling worse than before. You should focus your attention on finding normality in a sober state and not in an alternate state of consciousness.

Much love,
Sally xx

 

[dreamer042]

Just a thought, but instead of investing your money into ever moar powerful psychoactive substances, maybe invest in a qualified therapist and start to work out the underlying issues that cause you to self medicate with these things in the first place?

 

[Bill Cipher]

Just a thought, but instead of investing your money into ever moar powerful psychoactive substances, maybe invest in a qualified therapist and start to work out the underlying issues that cause you to self medicate with these things in the first place?

That's some excellent advice right there.

With all due respect, I don't think your plan is one that is likely to bring you happiness in the long run. What it will do is further isolate you from your environment and other human beings. Exploring your consciousness is a wonderful thing, but using these drugs as a means of escape or to chase a constant euphoria is something that can have very serious repercussions.

Just my humble opinion. Do what you need to do.

 

[jamie]

Are there people who achieve being high forever? Are there any long-term problems caused by excessive euphoria? Does euphoria have a limit? If I took a combination of the most euphoric drugs and then took another euphoric drug with this combination would my euphoria go higher or is there a ceiling effect to euphoria?

:d ..Apparently, you have put alot of though into this.

 

[SWIMfriend]

One of the things I like about drugs is they allow me to be happy regardless of the situations I am in, if I enjoyed knitting I would not be able to knit in many of the circumstances that I can take drugs in. I have severe depression that I have had for ages which is not drug-related because I was severely depressed way before I used ANY drugs. Euphoria makes me happy enough so that I feel normal and not severely depressed, my drive to use drugs is quite strong because when I had no job and no money I used to extract codeine from codeine and paracetamol combination tablets in public toilets using coffee filters, muslin cloth, a syringe and plastic cups because I was in a situation where I could not extract at home but I needed to avoid depression. I know it is sad that I did codeine extractions in public toilets but I wanted to get high.

I agree with some others posting that maybe a better use of your efforts would be to try to work on the underlying depression (somehow), instead of trying to keep it permanently masked by euphoric drugs. There is likely no easy and simple solution, but some people have made use of therapy--especially with a therapist who understands your particular issues well.

Other than that, maybe you should consider moving to Brazil and joining an ayahuasca church--I'm not kidding. In some ways, it seems like that is made to order for you. But in any case, I think you're on the wrong track with the idea that DRUGS ALONE, taken near continuously, is going to be a practical answer for you.

 

[easyrider]

One question, Seraph: Were there any instances in which the consumption of these substances added to your depression? I find it hard to believe that every psychedelic experience caused alleviation. I am not undermining your ambition, however. I believe there are people who are in a permanent state of bliss in the world. Perhaps you could channel your energy into a more holistic approach of solving your depression. There's so much life out there, so much of the world to experience! Try not to limit yourself to attaining euphoria just from these substances, but rather try to attain euphoria from all of existence.

 

[Dreamwalker]

(I am using between 10 to 20% of my wages to buy extraction stuff and things like cebil seeds) I am slowly gaining more and more drugs at a rate much faster than I use them. I guess I'm stupid to ever think my ambition is possible without great loss but at the moment I'm acquiring many, many drugs.

I seem to have found myself in a similar situation as yourself. After researching various ethnobotanicals over time I've acquired a refrigerator chock full of goodies of all types. More than I could possibly use in this lifetime by myself. Sometimes I find I have more fun extracting and purifying things and seem to spend MUCH more time experimenting than actually using the stuff.

Unfortunately for me I only have one friend that shares my enthusiasm with what I do. I wish I could share all that I've accumulated and worked on with the world but for the most part when I do travel... I travel alone.

I don't think it's unhealthy to be into experimenting but its another thing if it's your ambition to be high all the time. If your having a problem with depression your brain chemistry is already off. It's not as big of a problem as you probably feel like it is.

I agree with what others have already suggested. Go see a doctor and have yourself evaluated. Self medicating can be very self destructive. If your brain chemistry is already off your definitely going to make things worse with this plan of yours.

Maybe it's best to just take a break for now, seek some professional advice and see how you feel from there. Sometimes all it takes is a simple prescription or maybe even some psychotherapy and you can get yourself back to where you need to be without being high on everything under the sun all day every day.

Take care of yourself. You deserve to be happy but there are better ways to go about it.

Sending good vibes of happiness your way!

 

[benzyme]

Seraph, check out HedWeb (the hedonistic imperative).. sounds like your kind of site. I'm not trying to encourage any behavior, but I know where you're coming from.