new user, introduction post here mostly discussing my dmt experiences over the past few weeks

[ilisuc]

hey all, just sharing some things.

i've had several break through experiences vaping dmt over the past few weeks and many more "sub break throughs."
As most would expect to happen with that much use, i finally encountered the inevitable..my first bad trip. I won't discuss it too much except to say that im not sure how to apply integration of the experience into my life. What entirely happened is beginning to fade a bit from my memory, but i can still easily recall the fear and panic i experienced. Anyway i guess i will try to read more threads on here that explain how to integrate trips.
One thing that mystifies me as i explore posts on this site and read about others' experiences else where as well is the following...What's with all this beings and gnomes and elves and stuff that so many people seem to be seeing during their dmt trips? I only once encountered something that maybe could have come close to being interpreted as some kind of being, and i feel like that's because i was expecting it from reading about it so much and therefore probably trying to fit what i was seeing into some sort of entity construct.
Is this a personality thing? Maybe my brain just hasn't felt like concocting an entity during a trip but at some point it will? To any one reading this, why do you think it might be that so many people have seen beings during their trips but i have not? Let me make clear, im not asking this because i feel like im missing out or some other silly reason. Im very grateful for all the trips i've had. Im just genuinely curious what's going on with all these beings people see that are so frequently associated with dmt trips?

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

 

[Pandora]

Illisuc,

Welcome to the Nexus.

Thank you for sharing and I am sorry to read you had a difficult experience. With the intensity, the stimulation of fight or flight response and its' strong insistence on surrender in a culture that works against that DMT is an ongoing challenge.

In my current opinion, integration is about time, self care, sobriety and reflection. Eat well, get rest, get exercise, go out, think, journal. Over a period of days, weeks or even much longer (my last integration was about 7 years and it did me a world of good). Figure out what it means to you. Get some distance between the intensity of your experience and you.

The autonomous entity thing is talked about a lot. It appears to be a potential but not a requirement once psychedelic geometry exceeds a certain level of complexity.

Personally I had a huge number of DMT trips including a massive mystical breakthrough that caused me to burn my atheist card without ever seeing a single entity.

Eventually the entities did appear for me and from that point onward they were a regular but not guaranteed thing. And what really gets me is I began seeing them on LSD and recently on a relatively low dose of mushrooms too.

They are not guaranteed or a requirement but once things get beyond a certain point entities become potential as far as I can tell.

What does it mean? Well, interpretations appear to be as diverse as the flora and and fauna we encounter in hyperspace.

Again, a warm welcome.

 

[ilisuc]

thanks so much Pandora for such a thorough reply.

i will take your current opinion on integration as valuable advice to abide by.

and also thanks for explaining your history with the entities. i've read similar things online other places as well in which people described stuff from their dmt trips carrying over into their lsd and/or shrooms trips. i find this fascinating.

i very much appreciate the warm welcome.

 

[secretbrac]

Hey I am in a very similar place. I just posted for the first time today a bit about it. How have things been going since your bad experience?

 

[Never Forget]

Welcome ilisuc. Sorry to hear about your difficult experience. I'd like to echo Pandora " integration is about time, self care, sobriety and reflection. Eat well, get rest, get exercise, go out, think, journal." Time is the great healer. Don't feel like you "have to go back" at any point.

I'm a tad concerned by your opening line "i've had several break through experiences vaping dmt over the past few weeks", as this seems like a pretty high level of usage. This is just my opinion however, I am sure there are folks blasting off very regularly, but perhaps you went a bit too hard? The psyche is a delicate thing.

In my experience, a few times a year is a better schedule than a few times a month, but I must insist that I am not preaching here. You do you, but by the sound of it a long break would do you some good.

Love

 

[ilisuc]

Hey I am in a very similar place. I just posted for the first time today a bit about it. How have things been going since your bad experience?

hey i just read your post. wow it's like you were describing the bad experience i had exactly. it wasn't like anything directly causing me pain or suffering, it was just like everything felt and looked off to the point of creating sheer terror, even though once again nothing during the trip was overtly terrifying.
i often think back to this trip and wonder about it..why it happened, why it hasn't happened since, and then of course is it inevitably going to happen again. i do distinctly recall having the thought during it like "okay i learned my lesson." this is in reference to the fact that i was super excited by my crazy amazing experiences and i was telling people about it, even being like you should give it a try it's amazingly awesome..and the lesson i learned was omg what if one of the people i encouraged to try dmt had this awful experience..so basically i was like lemme not ever suggest this to others anymore.

boy i really ranted and i haven't even answered your question yet...since then i have done dmt many many a time..as Never Forget noted i am definitely in the high and frequent level of usage point. idk im not scared anymore possibly because i've had so many trips since and none of them were bad or unpleasant. maybe it's kinda like after a bad break up you're like "im never gonna fall in love again.." and then eventually you forget the hurt and do fall in love again only to also get your heart broken again.
i guess what im trying to say is, i always make a mental note before hand that it could be a bad trip and whatever happens it's only gonna be a few minutes and it'll be over.

of course maybe it doesn't have to happen again. i read a lot about people's bad trips afterword..because the idea of being in a bad mental space didn't fit as a cause for me since earlier that day i'd had an awesome trip i focused on some theories involving the vaping device having built up too much resin, or over heating the dmt..idk if any of them are true but i did start cleaning my gvg regularly after that.

so sorry for the long response, if you got through it and are still reading lol. i totally understand and feel you. i did give a few days break and only did small hits to slowly dip my toes back in after that bad trip and that did help bring my confidence back. i do remember feeling fearful like the bad trip was gonna happen again a couple times but then it ended up not..it seems very rare to have the same dmt experience twice any way maybe?

best wishes to you, my friend. i think you'll feel better about it all in time.

 

[scaredofthedark]

i do distinctly recall having the thought during it like "okay i learned my lesson." this is in reference to the fact that i was super excited by my crazy amazing experiences and i was telling people about it, even being like you should give it a try it's amazingly awesome..and the lesson i learned was omg what if one of the people i encouraged to try dmt had this awful experience..so basically i was like lemme not ever suggest this to others anymore.

I also think this is why I had an unsetting, scary experience. Not necessarily to be punished or something, but because I was severely underestimating the power of low doses. I incorrectly believed I was "safe" from a breakthrough type experience and was recommending others vape DMT as flippantly as I was. I think I needed this experience in that sense. I'd never forgive myself if one of my friends had a terrifying experience like mine after I tell them it's safe. That same entity seems to be waiting for me on the other end so I guess I need more integration time.

I hope your subsequent trips have been positive!

 

[ilisuc]

i do distinctly recall having the thought during it like "okay i learned my lesson." this is in reference to the fact that i was super excited by my crazy amazing experiences and i was telling people about it, even being like you should give it a try it's amazingly awesome..and the lesson i learned was omg what if one of the people i encouraged to try dmt had this awful experience..so basically i was like lemme not ever suggest this to others anymore.

I also think this is why I had an unsetting, scary experience. Not necessarily to be punished or something, but because I was severely underestimating the power of low doses. I incorrectly believed I was "safe" from a breakthrough type experience and was recommending others vape DMT as flippantly as I was. I think I needed this experience in that sense. I'd never forgive myself if one of my friends had a terrifying experience like mine after I tell them it's safe. That same entity seems to be waiting for me on the other end so I guess I need more integration time.

I hope your subsequent trips have been positive!

they have been, thank you so much. it is amazing though how random the power of a low dose can be.

 

[scaredofthedark]

Agreed. It made me think it doesn't necessarily matter how much you do, but the act of doing it. I also hear people talk about a reverse tolerance with DMT and some sort of cross-tolerance to other psychs, too. Odd stuff.

My subsequent attempts have been the same entity warning me off, I think. Glad yours have been positive.

 

[trish12061977]

I am new here but I want to share this Okay, it is so weird, and I'm going to tell you this before I even start to explain what happened. Right after I came out of this, my hair was full of static not standing straight up but my hair was big and I could feel it through my whole body. Now there is no static, is completely gone, it is back to normal. So if this was not real and was just a hallucination, then where did all the static come from? Okay, sorry, now I'll explain. So, I did some DMT. Well, this is crazy, I think, but it felt like I was a robot and I got a virus. I got really charged, my CPU was running high, and all my software was messing up. I could feel the robot-like movements, and I was glitching really bad. I could feel it trying to wipe out my hard drive. I could hear the data running through me. I could feel it, I could feel it, My hair is now normal, no static. How did my hair generate so much static? It's crazy I know, but OMG, it doesn't feel crazy. I can still feel it. I don't even know what to think. For a minute, I thought it was going to wipe out my memory. I sound insane, but OMG, it felt real. And my hair, it was so crazy, I could hear the data, I could feel the current running through me, the glitching. This isn't the first time I felt like I was glitching when doing this, but it was never this intense. I never felt like I was a robot though, and I swear to God, I could feel the mechanical-like movements when I was getting up. It was hard to get up, it was hard getting myself moving around. I had to keep stretching. That is the weirdest thing I've ever felt, and when I first come out of it, I was thinking AI is just a newer version of us. And that's why we are so worried it about taking over because what do you do with the old? I mean, I say this is crazy, but is it? How do we know that isn't exactly what we are? It's crazy, I know. It felt so real, and the hair. Why did I have so much static in my hair that is gone now?