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No memory from first few minutes of sub-breakthrough experience

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I'd like to share my experience and see if it chimes with others because it doesn't sound like many of the trip reports I see on here and other forums.

I've only done DMT a handful of times, each time at sub-breakthrough doses of approximately 12mg, 15mg and 18mg. I am using a dry herb vape with the spice melted onto a stainless steel oil pad plus a little bit of previously vaped cannabis to catch any drips. This seems to work well and I can get the full load in one hit.

The effects are amazing but there are blank spots in my recollection even at these lower doses. Yesterday, as I ended my hit, my vision shattered into a million tiny prisms and then I closed my eyes and then basically nothing. Or at least nothing that I can really remember. I don't remember any closed-eye visuals and I can't really remember anything of the first couple of minutes of the trip. I had a vague feeling of the warmth from my vape in my hand but couldn't really connect that with my body or what it meant at the time. After a couple of minutes, I was connected to my body enough to feel for the off switch on the vape. It shuts off automatically within 5 minutes, so it must have been less than this since the start of the trip. At that point, I opened my eyes and my room looked amazing. Everything was iridescent and glowing although their were no more prisms/fractals etc. it just looked spectacularly beautiful and fantastically colourful. It was then maybe another 5-10 minutes till I was back at baseline.

I've seen reports of people blacking out at higher doses like 50mg+ but I was nowhere near that. I also don't think I did blackout, I just don't really feel like I have a memory of the first few minutes of the trip. Has anyone had similar experiences at these dose levels or do you have any thoughts about what might be going on.

I know I need to dive back in and I'm working up to higher breakthrough level doses but I am a bit concerned that even if I do reach that level, I might not remember it.
 
If taken in 1 hit 18mg is a solid dose. Some can breakthrough on 20mg in one hit.

I'd try meditating a lot beforehand, perhaps incorporating some calm music, and keeping eyes open during the experience

Eating or smoking some harmalas first also helps add several layers of awareness to the experience

Practice is key
 
Yeah, those 50+mg reports are from old data where much less efficient vaping methods were used. I dread to think what might happen if someone managed to vape 50mg efficiently in a modern device. Blackout would likely be something of a blessing. It seems DMT is significantly more potent than the now outdated values once seemed to suggest. Vaped properly, the effective dose seems to be more on a par with IV methods - perhaps as should be expected.
 
I tried again last night and went for 20mg. I find it really hard to recall the most intense part of the trip. I do remember bits of the experience when I had my eyes open but can't really recall anything with closed eyes. I definitely don't think it was a breakthrough level but was pretty spectacular.

One positive is that doing it a couple of times close together has allowed me to get a little more comfortable with it and also for my wife to get comfortable with me doing it (she was worried but she's seen I'm fine now). I think I need to keep playing around with it maybe at the dose I'm working at as it was definitely the strongest dose so far and I found it pretty scary taking the full hit.

I almost wish the come up was a bit more predicable. I know weird shit is going to happen but what that looks like each time is totally different so when it happens it's always shocking.

I also think I need to focus on holding my breath after taking a hit as I'm not sure I'm managing that for more than a few seconds.
 
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