Nos4a2's Introduction Essay

[Nosferatu89]

My name is Nosferatu and I used to consider myself a Pyschonaut.

Since the time I first tried cubensis mushrooms on a peanut butter sandwhich when I was 13 and heard "Comfortably Numb" I fell in love with Hallucinogens. I have since tried Mushrooms, LSD, Ketamine, Datura, Salvia, DMT; Changa, Ayahuasca, Yopo, DXM, MDMA and 2C-B. I discovered another world while huffing Ether that I called the "Loop" where the world turned into a "connect the dots" picture and music lyrics changed while I listened to them. I watched a party on 2C-B full of drunk people in fast forward. I had a fireworks war on Mushrooms. I swiped Datura seeds from Tech School horticulture class and sent 3 kids to the hospital(not proud of this) when their parents saw them talking to the walls, meanwhile I was having conversations with friends who weren't there in my bedroom. And so on and so forth. I used to know the meaning of life, and studied it through my trips, but then I found a Boy.

The Boy lied to me with every meeting and stole ten years of my life, I lost my little boy because of The Boy. I turned my family against me because of The Boy. I scarred every inch of my body, I lost friends mostly through death all of because of The Boy. I lost my will to be a Psychonaut because of The Boy. The Boy changed my mindset and changed the way I looked at the Seeing Fruits.

I still go on adventures occasionally but not as much as I used too. I'm just not back in my right mind yet. I got rid of The Boy but he's still in my mind, a little less each day, yet he'll always be there in some fashion, I just need to never trust him again.

The reason I want to be a part of this community is because I seek knowledge that can't be found in "The Real World." I also like to learn and share knowledge about the hobbies I partake in, currently Mycology and DMT Extraction.

I don't take any drugs on a regular basis except for my methadone, the last time I had an "Adventure" was on new years, 2 tenths of Molly and A few grams of Cubes, watched Across The Universe and a few other movies. It was more fun than a learning experience..

I can't say I'd be a good addition to this site, because let's be honest, who am I? But I can promise I won't be a bad addition to the Nexus. :!:

 

[downwardsfromzero]

Welcome! You'll find (if you haven't already) that there are more than a few respected members here who have gone through a process of recovery such as yours. Work your way through the threads, I trust you'll find much in the way of support and inspiration here. This truly is a special place.

All the best.

df0

 

[Nosferatu89]

Thank you df0, that really means a lot to me.

 

[null24]

I was confused about what the nature of this boy you talk of was until i saw the methadone mention.

I can empathize. I shot heroin or was on methadone fur the better part of 25 years. Been in and out hospital for everything from suicide attempts and ideation to severe MRSA infections, all consequence of my use. I've found great benefit from the intentional use of psychedelics in both freeing myself from the physical addiction and the long term PAWS effects.

Welcome to the Nexus, this is a great community and yes there are many here who can understand .

 

[Nosferatu89]

Thanks Nulls,
I've definitely had problems with PAWS in the past, this time not as much, but it is kind of early to be sure as when you first get clean things seem great but a few months later the depression kicks in out of nowhere.

I think I'm just ready to be done, i've lost the taste for Heroin. It's not enjoyable anymore.