one experience....

[secretbrac]

I came here to discuss something that recently happened to me and i wanted to know if anyone has experienced similar. I don't know if this is the right area to post it but hopefully it reaches some of you.
I regularly use DMT and last week I had an amazing experience that actually brought me to tears. I can only explain it as god. It was right in my face and it was peaceful and amazing and it made me emotional and I loved it. It was like a breakthrough for me...something even more amazing than usual. I really wanted to experience more of it. But then sadly I did some DMT a couple days later and something horrifying and awful happened. It was like nothing I have ever experienced before. Nothing was right, my room, my dog, they were different. I was panicked and wondered if I had somehow contaminated the dmt. I seriously thought another parallel universe was taking over my environment. It was terrifying. I can always handle really intense dmt trips, the total madness is something I have actually learned to enjoy. But this was different. And now I am shook. And I am worried I won't get back to normal because earlier tonight I smoked a little dmt from the vape pen, took a SMALL hit because I was still afraid, and I felt it coming back. Like I could feel a darkness, a scary element to this I am not used to. Maybe because I am so scared now, it messes up the trip from jump but I would be so devastated to lose what I had before the nightmare trip. Does anyone have experience coming back from a bad episode like this?

 

[ShadedSelf]

My understanding is that this is basically normal and there is not much to do other than processing how you feel, how the experience felt.
There is love in both experiences, finding that love is the great lesson.

You can probably answer you own question, do you have experience coming back from some sort of bad episode in you life?

 

[Pandora]

secretbrac

Welcome to the Nexus.

Needless to say DMT is very powerful medicine and the only thing that is pretty much a guarantee when we dose it is surprise.

I, like you, did DMT a lot and had powerful, even a mystical, experiences before I got shown what a few eternities in Hell is like.

Hyperspace is a mystery. It might actually be another dimension. If so, I would think every once in awhile when we manifest suddenly somewhere we are found to be unwelcome.

Hyperspace may actually be completely in our minds. This means our minds have infinite depths and layers and the deeper we go, the more inhabited and weird it gets. There appear to be complete other worlds inside our heads.

Either one of these possibilities cries out for integration. What is integration? It is really processing what happened and what it means in particular long term. Sometimes it's wackiness and personally means very little, so processing is fast, integration happens and we get back to the DMT pipe without difficulty.

Sometimes integration takes a lot longer. Seriously. Like weeks. Months. And in my experience, 7 years. Even then some do not come back to the DMT pipe.


So, for lack of better terminology, or perhaps due to perfect terminology, you met God presenting as peace, amazement and love.

That. Is. A lot. To. Take. In.

In particular in the modern world. Think about the modern world. Unless you live in a bubble, there is not a lot of peace and love and some of the amazement isn't that positive. We live in a challenging modernity often bereft of morality.

How does one integrate meeting God in the form of peace, love and amazement with the realities of life? I do not know but I imagine it would take a lot of thought and perhaps some personal change.


I think time is your friend. Maybe take a scheduled time off from DMT use - like two to four weeks - to meditate, eat well, exercise, try to be social and do a LOT of journaling. Process. Process. Process. Both trips. Process and work it through. Work towards integration.

None of us knows what our future with the spice will be. We all want to think we will always use it and it will always be an ally. But that is seldom true for the majority of users over long time periods.

There is a lot of fear built into approaching so much power which can easily stay our hands. I am not sure there is anything wrong with that.

Give yourself time to process and perhaps you can return to your work with this strong medicine in a way that you do not interpret as terrifying or dark.

All of this is just one woman's opinion.

Again, welcome to the Nexus.

 

[secretbrac]

Thank you for this so much. You make a lot of sense and I think I do tend to overindulge without enough processing time. I will take a break before my next journey so I can really appreciate what I have already experienced.

 

[UnSaNiTy]

It's all the same thing. Experience. Run towards one and run away from another is just a loop.

It's a frequency. Which frequency are you in?

There is always another way to look at things.

 

[secretbrac]

My understanding is that this is basically normal and there is not much to do other than processing how you feel, how the experience felt.
There is love in both experiences, finding that love is the great lesson.

You can probably answer you own question, do you have experience coming back from some sort of bad episode in you life?

I had to think about this a little before it clicked. Comparing it to other experiences in life where something familiar becomes scary actually really gives me a lot to think about.

 

[Voidmatrix]

Welcome to the Nexus. I feel you've picked a good audience to have such a conversation with.

I say this a lot; DMT always has something new to show you.

None of us knows what our future with the spice will be. We all want to think we will always use it and it will always be an ally. But that is seldom true for the majority of users over long time periods.

If I'm not mistaken, there are current Nexians, that regularly frequent the forum and chat, that have either not smoalked any DMT in a long time and/or feel that may be something that is in their past.

In my personal experience, it changes pretty vastly over time, regardless of dosing used. I really feel, regardless of the ontological nature of these experiences, that much of what we encounter is largely transcendent to/removed from/beyond our usual modality of experience, so naturally can be hard to make sense of, if any sense is to be made of it in the first place. I've had plenty that are just gifts to take with me in my being, but very little about it "made sense." But perhaps for me, that kind of thing can still be meaningful.

I have to ask, was the experience really bad, or would it be more apt to may describe it as perhaps challenging?

One love

 

[secretbrac]

Welcome to the Nexus. I feel you've picked a good audience to have such a conversation with.

I say this a lot; DMT always has something new to show you.

None of us knows what our future with the spice will be. We all want to think we will always use it and it will always be an ally. But that is seldom true for the majority of users over long time periods.

If I'm not mistaken, there are current Nexians, that regularly frequent the forum and chat, that have either not smoalked any DMT in a long time and/or feel that may be something that is in their past.

In my personal experience, it changes pretty vastly over time, regardless of dosing used. I really feel, regardless of the ontological nature of these experiences, that much of what we encounter is largely transcendent to/removed from/beyond our usual modality of experience, so naturally can be hard to make sense of, if any sense is to be made of it in the first place. I've had plenty that are just gifts to take with me in my being, but very little about it "made sense." But perhaps for me, that kind of thing can still be meaningful.

I have to ask, was the experience really bad, or would it be more apt to may describe it as perhaps challenging?

One love

I don't know the best way to reply on here to a specific comment. Is using the quote button correct?
OK so I wish I could answer this differently but right now, the experience to me was really bad....but the more I think about it, the more curious I become. There is a part of me (small part) that almost wants to explore the experience again, this time more mentally prepared for what could happen. But the fear is still too fresh. I remember my hands shaking for like an hour after it happened...I will say though, it was profound. That is undeniable.

 

[secretbrac]

Sorry I double posted and I couldn't figure out how to delete ....this post is nothing

 

[Voidmatrix]

Your method of quoting was fine. You can hit the quote button or you can code the quote into your reply. If you hit "quote" on an entire post you'd like to quote, you'll be taken to the post reply page with the quote already coded into the text box for you.

If hyperspace is a transcendent sphere, does what we consider to be bad really hold that much weight?

In my personal experience, things only get more wild, so I definitely understand your trepidation. I've spent a fair amount of time still smoalking spice, but often not even approaching the visual aspect of the experience.

Just keep at it. It's worth it in the end, as you only grow by experiencing the unknown through this manner. Whatever comes up, practice steeling yourself, letting go, and being with it, and all will be fine.

One love

 

[secretbrac]

Hey thanks Void. I think you're right. I wish I could change the title of my post to just "one experience" because you're correct about "bad" being meaningless in this sense.

 

[Voidmatrix]

Hey thanks Void. I think you're right. I wish I could change the title of my post to just "one experience" because you're correct about "bad" being meaningless in this sense.

Title has been changed for you Sometimes how we look at one experience can impact future ones, so sometimes redrawing our perspectives and conclusions can be one of the beat services we can do for ourselves.

One love

 

[ilisuc]

heyy, i just wrote a super long reply to your reply on my bad trip post.

also btw i am so with you on the struggles of figuring out how things work on this site lol..

 

[secretbrac]

Hey guys,

I wanted to thanks all of you for the advice. I spent some time processing the experience I and finally got to a place where I was actually ok with it and curious even. I have been smoking again and when I felt a similar type of situation kind of take over, I was very calm this time. It wasn't scary at all; it was different. It was an experience. I appreciate this place. Thanks again.