SpiceGirl
Rising Star
I couldn't find a better section for this, as the experiences section is DMT only I do believe? Anywho...
A good friend of mine who doesn't live in the US sent me this in an email today:
"Hey there again,
Well, I have done much reading today on many subjects, and found myself in a very receptive state. DMT crystals are drying, so I decided to try Lady Salvia once again. I loaded a tiny fragment of a bud of MJ to catch particulates, then added another small fragment of MJ and a pinch of salvia.
It amazes me how it even began as reasoning of some sort - the hit, the attempt for a second (bowl was cashed-ish, just left a weirder taste in mouth, wished I hadn't) was followed by closed eyes. I was facing my computer, a small wall in front of me. To the beat of Omar Rodriguez Lopez's Jacob Van Lennepkade II about a fourth of the way into it:
The thought took a form much like the top half portion of the frame of a school bus surrounding the windows along its sides - just the metal portion. It was mixed with this that the wall and desk and myself began to pull - a frightening sensation rising around me each pull, which was almost like a budging, and the thoughts formed a conversation with the beat - each line an entire beat, with the thought and the budge simultaneously, then a pause until the next beat - now that I think about it it was similar to Milkdrop or some other music visualization software, or like a short attack with a medium sustain and no decay sound, but with the amplitude of the sound directly equal to the force of the push. The exact wording is lost but this is close to how it went - it was a discussion between myself, I just started thinking it as I am wont to do in states like this, the discussion was playful, almost as if it wasn't really happening until the end of the conversation came, from whence it was just me again, being pulled in a very uncomfortable way:
It won't do that. *budge*
Yeah it will. *budge*
It won't do that. *budge*
It already is! *budge*
No, it it *budge*
it *budge*
*budge*
I've been in this point before, and I chose to open my eyes and look to the left, trying to at least CHANGE the dragging of the moment - it felt like I was a large plane running through what would be the x axis if I was facing you, or look to your left and right, the plane that makes up those directions for you.
I felt as though if I only had somebody to talk to, if I could just feel another's presence then it would be alright the stuttering wall collapse would stop. I stared out, even in the brief glimpse, lost out in the strange conversation that was constructing itself out of an old feeling that repulsed and pulled me like a fly stuck to flypaper being stretched flat out like a sheet of cellophane, with full consciousness of it happening.
I looked back to the left quickly, as the feelings didn't stop, and altered, but didn't alter at the same time. When I swung my focus to the left, the entire world wooshed, as the plane rotated maybe 10 degrees leeway, feeling just as tight and uncomfortable.
I then thought and felt cheated, where were my dominoes - I was prepared damnit. I wasn't angry though, as it was then that I realized I could push my chair away from the desk and rotate it freely. This sort of but didn't help, as the pressure began to let up and I was down soon.
I sat in thought for a while, once the realization that the pulling was over, in meditation on it all. I moved to my bed, and immediately noticed that my pants were COLD and had slight dew from what must have been sweating - or perhaps they ceased sweating for a moment and were now being reintroduced to what they WERE doing - I am unsure, but it felt very odd and filled my head with some interesting thoughts and analogies which now escape me about some of the virtues of Salvia. I concluded that next time I should just give in, and if that is all there is then so be it, but going by the core beliefs that I have known to be true deep in my heart all my life, then by doing so it should break away and allow me to become one and learn freely from the misunderstood lady.
I continue to respect her, and although we don't get along just yet - I am sure that combining her with more MJ and a slight bit of DMT, who have both always treated me ever so kindly, then it may help break my habit of fighting her tender tug. It's strange how I can equate it to such things, or even how I can still respect her, as I most definitely do not like in any way the pull. I know I must keep giving her chances, when the lesson is finally learned, it will be more than worth it. I also wonder still if I should simply smoke more of her, so she can go on and push me through that harsh transition of a breaking point instead of playfully but constantly neutrally torturing me and dragging me through it."
My friend apologizes as well for any bouts of confusion in there, it was the best she could do. I wish her luck next time and wish that I lived in a region where I could partake in such marvelous events!
A good friend of mine who doesn't live in the US sent me this in an email today:
"Hey there again,
Well, I have done much reading today on many subjects, and found myself in a very receptive state. DMT crystals are drying, so I decided to try Lady Salvia once again. I loaded a tiny fragment of a bud of MJ to catch particulates, then added another small fragment of MJ and a pinch of salvia.
It amazes me how it even began as reasoning of some sort - the hit, the attempt for a second (bowl was cashed-ish, just left a weirder taste in mouth, wished I hadn't) was followed by closed eyes. I was facing my computer, a small wall in front of me. To the beat of Omar Rodriguez Lopez's Jacob Van Lennepkade II about a fourth of the way into it:
The thought took a form much like the top half portion of the frame of a school bus surrounding the windows along its sides - just the metal portion. It was mixed with this that the wall and desk and myself began to pull - a frightening sensation rising around me each pull, which was almost like a budging, and the thoughts formed a conversation with the beat - each line an entire beat, with the thought and the budge simultaneously, then a pause until the next beat - now that I think about it it was similar to Milkdrop or some other music visualization software, or like a short attack with a medium sustain and no decay sound, but with the amplitude of the sound directly equal to the force of the push. The exact wording is lost but this is close to how it went - it was a discussion between myself, I just started thinking it as I am wont to do in states like this, the discussion was playful, almost as if it wasn't really happening until the end of the conversation came, from whence it was just me again, being pulled in a very uncomfortable way:
It won't do that. *budge*
Yeah it will. *budge*
It won't do that. *budge*
It already is! *budge*
No, it it *budge*
it *budge*
*budge*
I've been in this point before, and I chose to open my eyes and look to the left, trying to at least CHANGE the dragging of the moment - it felt like I was a large plane running through what would be the x axis if I was facing you, or look to your left and right, the plane that makes up those directions for you.
I felt as though if I only had somebody to talk to, if I could just feel another's presence then it would be alright the stuttering wall collapse would stop. I stared out, even in the brief glimpse, lost out in the strange conversation that was constructing itself out of an old feeling that repulsed and pulled me like a fly stuck to flypaper being stretched flat out like a sheet of cellophane, with full consciousness of it happening.
I looked back to the left quickly, as the feelings didn't stop, and altered, but didn't alter at the same time. When I swung my focus to the left, the entire world wooshed, as the plane rotated maybe 10 degrees leeway, feeling just as tight and uncomfortable.
I then thought and felt cheated, where were my dominoes - I was prepared damnit. I wasn't angry though, as it was then that I realized I could push my chair away from the desk and rotate it freely. This sort of but didn't help, as the pressure began to let up and I was down soon.
I sat in thought for a while, once the realization that the pulling was over, in meditation on it all. I moved to my bed, and immediately noticed that my pants were COLD and had slight dew from what must have been sweating - or perhaps they ceased sweating for a moment and were now being reintroduced to what they WERE doing - I am unsure, but it felt very odd and filled my head with some interesting thoughts and analogies which now escape me about some of the virtues of Salvia. I concluded that next time I should just give in, and if that is all there is then so be it, but going by the core beliefs that I have known to be true deep in my heart all my life, then by doing so it should break away and allow me to become one and learn freely from the misunderstood lady.
I continue to respect her, and although we don't get along just yet - I am sure that combining her with more MJ and a slight bit of DMT, who have both always treated me ever so kindly, then it may help break my habit of fighting her tender tug. It's strange how I can equate it to such things, or even how I can still respect her, as I most definitely do not like in any way the pull. I know I must keep giving her chances, when the lesson is finally learned, it will be more than worth it. I also wonder still if I should simply smoke more of her, so she can go on and push me through that harsh transition of a breaking point instead of playfully but constantly neutrally torturing me and dragging me through it."
My friend apologizes as well for any bouts of confusion in there, it was the best she could do. I wish her luck next time and wish that I lived in a region where I could partake in such marvelous events!
