Archmage
Rising Star
Friends,
For the last several years things have been a little skewed for me when it comes to tripping. Now, let me give you a brief history. I have tripped maybe 15-20 times over the course of 10-15 years. Not too often. I've had some majorly great times and loved it. Mostly mescaline, a few times shrooms, 1 time DMT - 1-2 times LSD (don't like LSD.)
That being said - a few years back - something changed and now when I trip I get stuck in some kind of mental loop. This loop comes down to several thoughts that I cannot seem to shake.
1. Am I real? - Do I exist or am I just a figment of my imagination.
2. If I do exist do any of you exist as well or are you just a figment of my imagination.
3. Did I just create all of you (imagination wise) so that I wouldn't be lonely?
4. Am I the only one who exists - being as we are one universe and we are all one - am I the only mass galactic creature out there.
5. If I do let go and go traveling - will I always definitely get back?
I know - some of this seems like childish beginner thoughts but it really has me stuck. So much so that I am not tripping any longer. The last time I dosed my wife and I wrote letters - notes - things all over the house; we put them on the ceilings, walls, everywhere - saying "you are real" "you are safe" all sorts of things like that. (Side note: I love my life, my family, my children, and everything going on in this physical world currently) So its very important to me that I don't get stuck somewhere else.
Here are some of my other "possibility" thoughts. Let's say that we are all god and that every "life" is one possibility of that which is everything when I said "let there be everything" and there was. For example there are infinite parallel universi. That being said, could this be the universe where I do not get back into my body in this current world with this current family, etc.
I am definitely terrified of not getting back - and more to the point - I am the kind of person to have had level 4 trips many times. THat being said - with how strong marijuana has gotten, I can take a pull from a 72% THC vape pen and cannot handle it. It's as if time stops - and I worry that I am just imagining everything that is happening - which I'm sure there is some bit of truth to.
Regardless - I'm having these great difficulties - and I have been thinking about finding a Native American Shaman (certified good guy) to speak with about this.
My thanks in advance for any perspective:
For the last several years things have been a little skewed for me when it comes to tripping. Now, let me give you a brief history. I have tripped maybe 15-20 times over the course of 10-15 years. Not too often. I've had some majorly great times and loved it. Mostly mescaline, a few times shrooms, 1 time DMT - 1-2 times LSD (don't like LSD.)
That being said - a few years back - something changed and now when I trip I get stuck in some kind of mental loop. This loop comes down to several thoughts that I cannot seem to shake.
1. Am I real? - Do I exist or am I just a figment of my imagination.
2. If I do exist do any of you exist as well or are you just a figment of my imagination.
3. Did I just create all of you (imagination wise) so that I wouldn't be lonely?
4. Am I the only one who exists - being as we are one universe and we are all one - am I the only mass galactic creature out there.
5. If I do let go and go traveling - will I always definitely get back?
I know - some of this seems like childish beginner thoughts but it really has me stuck. So much so that I am not tripping any longer. The last time I dosed my wife and I wrote letters - notes - things all over the house; we put them on the ceilings, walls, everywhere - saying "you are real" "you are safe" all sorts of things like that. (Side note: I love my life, my family, my children, and everything going on in this physical world currently) So its very important to me that I don't get stuck somewhere else.
Here are some of my other "possibility" thoughts. Let's say that we are all god and that every "life" is one possibility of that which is everything when I said "let there be everything" and there was. For example there are infinite parallel universi. That being said, could this be the universe where I do not get back into my body in this current world with this current family, etc.
I am definitely terrified of not getting back - and more to the point - I am the kind of person to have had level 4 trips many times. THat being said - with how strong marijuana has gotten, I can take a pull from a 72% THC vape pen and cannot handle it. It's as if time stops - and I worry that I am just imagining everything that is happening - which I'm sure there is some bit of truth to.
Regardless - I'm having these great difficulties - and I have been thinking about finding a Native American Shaman (certified good guy) to speak with about this.
My thanks in advance for any perspective: