Spontaneous Cessation of Internal Monologue & High-Accuracy Pattern Anticipation After Severe Isolation

[lone_wolf]

Hello Nexus Community,

I’ve been a silent reader for a while, and I respect the rigorous, analytical approach this community takes toward consciousness and phenomenology.
I’m an electrical engineer and a long-term systems administrator.
I wanted to share a recent shift in my cognitive baseline and some empirical anomalies I've documented, to see if anyone here has experienced something similar or can provide a theoretical framework.

Probably The Catalyst: Severe Isolation, Grief, and Past Training
Nine months ago, my system experienced a massive emotional shock: my son left, and my mother (to whom I was deeply attached) passed away just a month later. This triggered 7–8 months of profound, absolute loneliness and isolation.
I believe this extreme lack of external stimuli and heavy grief forced my brain to dramatically rewire its energy allocation to survive the stress.

I practiced Kriya Yoga when I was about 20 years old. I done 2 years of Hatha Yoga and the 1 year of Kriya Yoga(Kundalini Yoga)

Spontaneous Deactivation of the Internal Monologue (DMN-Default Mode Network)
A few months into this isolation, while watching a YouTube video with English subtitles(English is not my natural language), I noticed a strange anomaly:
I was processing and understanding the subtitles perfectly, but the "internal voice" that usually reads them inside my head was completely gone.

Upon closer inspection, I realized my entire internal dialogue had shut off. There was just absolute silence for minutes and longer and longer after that.
Over the last month, this has stabilized. I can now consciously and effortlessly "switch off" thoughts at will.
The overall volume of daily cognitive chatter has dropped significantly.
In neurological terms, it feels like a permanent down-regulation of the Default Mode Network (DMN).
Or simply I feel almost like I dont exsist.

Anomalous Sequence Anticipation (Precognition/Pattern Tuning)
Years ago, I noticed a strange phenomenon while playing online chess—I could often "sense" or see the colors the server was about to assign right before they appeared on the screen.

About six months ago, during my isolation, I decided to test this empirically using an LLM interface as a random-like generator. In live chat prompts, I attempted to predict a sequence of red and black squares served in real-time. I documented two staggering runs: one with 72/72 correct predictions and another with 142/142 correct predictions. I have preserved the screenshots of these logs. To the standard observer, this sounds impossible, but as an engineer, I approached it purely as data observation.
And during that two times I had obviously(it was to me) changed state of mind.

*My Hypothesis about this:
I suspect that by shutting down the internal dialogue (the cognitive "noise"), my brain's neural networks—or perhaps the microtubular quantum substrates described in the Penrose-Hameroff Orch-OR theory—became highly coherent. Without the ego-chatter, the "antenna" of the mind became finely tuned to structural regularities or information states just before they collapsed into classical reality. Other theory is that I will advace spiritually significantlly what is probably less possible since I stop practice decades ago.

When I try to discuss this with friends in the physical world, they assume it's a psychological breakdown due to grief. But the data and my clear state of mind suggest otherwise.

Has anyone here experienced the spontaneous loss of sub-vocalization/internal monologue or maybe during meditation?

And for those well-versed in quantum consciousness models, could deep isolation act as a "cooling mechanism" that allows for macro-scale quantum coherence in the brain?

Looking forward to your insights.
Best regards.

 

[Nydex]

Hello, @lone_wolf,

Before anything else, please accept my sincerest condolences for the loss of your mother. May her soul rest in peace.

While I haven't personally experienced this, I think you can leverage it to reach profoundly deep states of consciousness. The experiment you conducted, and the amazing results you observed, hint to me that you might have unknowingly switched your cerebral dominance from left to right (i.e. giving the right hemisphere more influence over your perception of reality). I think @universecannon can also provide some meaningful ideas with relation to the quantum coherence you allude to, as he's been quite heavily invested in this area of research lately, and has also hooked me on to it.

I would rather imagine that it is not because you switched off your internal dialogue that these effects occurred, but rather alongside them, all as the result of this deeply emotional sequence of experiences you went through lately. Historically it would seem like going through emotions of such high intensity tends to "unlock" parts of us that were hitherto unseen. An example would be the trigger for many people with schizophrenia - the "unlocking" of this state of mind often happens exactly after a profoundly moving emotional experience, regardless of its valence.

Do not lose hope, my friend. Because you're wading through the fire, you might have reached a new level of awareness that many people can only dream of. I'm looking forward to hearing UC's input on this as well.

Until then, I'm sending you love and emotional support. Talk to me if you need to, I'm here.

 

[lone_wolf]

Hello, @lone_wolf,

Before anything else, please accept my sincerest condolences for the loss of your mother. May her soul rest in peace.

While I haven't personally experienced this, I think you can leverage it to reach profoundly deep states of consciousness. The experiment you conducted, and the amazing results you observed, hint to me that you might have unknowingly switched your cerebral dominance from left to right (i.e. giving the right hemisphere more influence over your perception of reality). I think @universecannon can also provide some meaningful ideas with relation to the quantum coherence you allude to, as he's been quite heavily invested in this area of research lately, and has also hooked me on to it.

I would rather imagine that it is not because you switched off your internal dialogue that these effects occurred, but rather alongside them, all as the result of this deeply emotional sequence of experiences you went through lately. Historically it would seem like going through emotions of such high intensity tends to "unlock" parts of us that were hitherto unseen. An example would be the trigger for many people with schizophrenia - the "unlocking" of this state of mind often happens exactly after a profoundly moving emotional experience, regardless of its valence.

Do not lose hope, my friend. Because you're wading through the fire, you might have reached a new level of awareness that many people can only dream of. I'm looking forward to hearing UC's input on this as well.

Until then, I'm sending you love and emotional support. Talk to me if you need to, I'm here.

Thank you so much for the warm welcome and for your sincere condolences. It truly means a lot to me.

Your insight about the shift from left to right cerebral dominance is highly intriguing.
I hadn't looked at it from that specific neurological perspective, but it makes perfect sense given how suddenly the analytical, verbal chatter dropped.
I also agree with your point that the profound emotional intensity was likely the overarching catalyst that unlocked this entire state,
rather than the silence being a standalone cause.

I am very glad I decided to post here, and I look forward to hearing what @universecannon (UC) has to share regarding the quantum coherence aspect of this research.

Thank you again for the emotional support and for providing such a profound space for these discussions!

 

[Flufferus]

im a self inflicted loner, so i can understand what your saying.

rare times, i would not speak a word for a month.

after reading about vow of silence that monks take, it is truly a permenantly life altering experience, to even go one month without real communication.

you become an island, with your thoughts spread upon it, yet no one to utter them to, but oneself.

thinking patterns completely change when not seeking input.

Not sure what i was trying to convey or say, but just wanted to say i understand man.

 

[lone_wolf]

im a self inflicted loner, so i can understand what your saying.

rare times, i would not speak a word for a month.

after reading about vow of silence that monks take, it is truly a permenantly life altering experience, to even go one month without real communication.

you become an island, with your thoughts spread upon it, yet no one to utter them to, but oneself.

thinking patterns completely change when not seeking input.

Not sure what i was trying to convey or say, but just wanted to say i understand man.

Thank you so much for reaching out. Your words mean a lot to me.

The way you described it—becoming an island where your thoughts are spread out, with no one to utter them to—is incredibly accurate.

That is exactly how it feels. You didn't need to convey anything more; just knowing that someone else truly understands that specific kind of silence and how it rewires the mind is a huge comfort.

My solitude is because it is hard to find people who understand. And from your answer I can see that you understand.

Thank you for the solidarity, man. Take care of yourself on your island.

 

[Flufferus]

Thank you so much for reaching out. Your words mean a lot to me.

The way you described it—becoming an island where your thoughts are spread out, with no one to utter them to—is incredibly accurate.

That is exactly how it feels. You didn't need to convey anything more; just knowing that someone else truly understands that specific kind of silence and how it rewires the mind is a huge comfort.

My solitude is because it is hard to find people who understand. And from your answer I can see that you understand.

Thank you for the solidarity, man. Take care of yourself on your island.

hehe thanks it has palmtrees and pot plants on it!

one VITAL thing to remember, is to be kind to yourself.

when one is an island, make sure the inhabitants are kind, friendly, and supportive of growth.

negativity in this state should not be tolerated, and any and all means should be employed (think CBT) to re frame your mindset, so you are not your own enemy!

honestly my time alone allowed me to truly see how i treated myself, without outside influences. i realized i was TERRIBLE to myself... bully dosent cut it, i was an abuser!

the worst part, is i had given myself a sort of stockholm syndrome from my own emotional self abuse. i had to seek outside help, one of the few times i could not fix something.

i ended up doing alittle bit of CBT, to challenge my negative self talk. It really helped! not saying your experiencing that.

but i wanted to absolutley stress this CRITCAL point!

real glad i found the nexus, with other like minded islands such as myself. WELCOME TO THE ARCAPELAGO man im sure you will find true belonging and meaning here...

much love

 

[lone_wolf]

hehe thanks it has palmtrees and pot plants on it!

one VITAL thing to remember, is to be kind to yourself.

when one is an island, make sure the inhabitants are kind, friendly, and supportive of growth.

negativity in this state should not be tolerated, and any and all means should be employed (think CBT) to re frame your mindset, so you are not your own enemy!

honestly my time alone allowed me to truly see how i treated myself, without outside influences. i realized i was TERRIBLE to myself... bully dosent cut it, i was an abuser!

the worst part, is i had given myself a sort of stockholm syndrome from my own emotional self abuse. i had to seek outside help, one of the few times i could not fix something.

i ended up doing alittle bit of CBT, to challenge my negative self talk. It really helped! not saying your experiencing that.

but i wanted to absolutley stress this CRITCAL point!

real glad i found the nexus, with other like minded islands such as myself. WELCOME TO THE ARCAPELAGO man im sure you will find true belonging and meaning here...

much love

Haha, love the image of palm trees and pot plants on your island!

Thanks for sharing that perspective, man. Your point about being kind to oneself and challenging negative self-talk is incredibly valid. It takes a lot of self-awareness to recognize those destructive internal patterns, and I'm really glad CBT worked out well for you.

"The Archipelago" is a fantastic metaphor. It's a comforting thought that even if we operate as isolated islands, we can still form a community and connect here.

Thanks for the warm welcome and the solid advice, brother. Much appreciated!

hehe thanks it has palmtrees and pot plants on it!

one VITAL thing to remember, is to be kind to yourself.

when one is an island, make sure the inhabitants are kind, friendly, and supportive of growth.

negativity in this state should not be tolerated, and any and all means should be employed (think CBT) to re frame your mindset, so you are not your own enemy!

honestly my time alone allowed me to truly see how i treated myself, without outside influences. i realized i was TERRIBLE to myself... bully dosent cut it, i was an abuser!

the worst part, is i had given myself a sort of stockholm syndrome from my own emotional self abuse. i had to seek outside help, one of the few times i could not fix something.

i ended up doing alittle bit of CBT, to challenge my negative self talk. It really helped! not saying your experiencing that.

but i wanted to absolutley stress this CRITCAL point!

real glad i found the nexus, with other like minded islands such as myself. WELCOME TO THE ARCAPELAGO man im sure you will find true belonging and meaning here...

much love