Spontaneous Cessation of Internal Monologue & High-Accuracy Pattern Anticipation After Severe Isolation

[lone_wolf]

Hello Nexus Community,

I’ve been a silent reader for a while, and I respect the rigorous, analytical approach this community takes toward consciousness and phenomenology.
I’m an electrical engineer and a long-term systems administrator.
I wanted to share a recent shift in my cognitive baseline and some empirical anomalies I've documented, to see if anyone here has experienced something similar or can provide a theoretical framework.

Probably The Catalyst: Severe Isolation, Grief, and Past Training
Nine months ago, my system experienced a massive emotional shock: my son left, and my mother (to whom I was deeply attached) passed away just a month later. This triggered 7–8 months of profound, absolute loneliness and isolation.
I believe this extreme lack of external stimuli and heavy grief forced my brain to dramatically rewire its energy allocation to survive the stress.

I practiced Kriya Yoga when I was about 20 years old. I done 2 years of Hatha Yoga and the 1 year of Kriya Yoga(Kundalini Yoga)

Spontaneous Deactivation of the Internal Monologue (DMN-Default Mode Network)
A few months into this isolation, while watching a YouTube video with English subtitles(English is not my natural language), I noticed a strange anomaly:
I was processing and understanding the subtitles perfectly, but the "internal voice" that usually reads them inside my head was completely gone.

Upon closer inspection, I realized my entire internal dialogue had shut off. There was just absolute silence for minutes and longer and longer after that.
Over the last month, this has stabilized. I can now consciously and effortlessly "switch off" thoughts at will.
The overall volume of daily cognitive chatter has dropped significantly.
In neurological terms, it feels like a permanent down-regulation of the Default Mode Network (DMN).
Or simply I feel almost like I dont exsist.

Anomalous Sequence Anticipation (Precognition/Pattern Tuning)
Years ago, I noticed a strange phenomenon while playing online chess—I could often "sense" or see the colors the server was about to assign right before they appeared on the screen.

About six months ago, during my isolation, I decided to test this empirically using an LLM interface as a random-like generator. In live chat prompts, I attempted to predict a sequence of red and black squares served in real-time. I documented two staggering runs: one with 72/72 correct predictions and another with 142/142 correct predictions. I have preserved the screenshots of these logs. To the standard observer, this sounds impossible, but as an engineer, I approached it purely as data observation.
And during that two times I had obviously(it was to me) changed state of mind.

*My Hypothesis about this:
I suspect that by shutting down the internal dialogue (the cognitive "noise"), my brain's neural networks—or perhaps the microtubular quantum substrates described in the Penrose-Hameroff Orch-OR theory—became highly coherent. Without the ego-chatter, the "antenna" of the mind became finely tuned to structural regularities or information states just before they collapsed into classical reality. Other theory is that I will advace spiritually significantlly what is probably less possible since I stop practice decades ago.

When I try to discuss this with friends in the physical world, they assume it's a psychological breakdown due to grief. But the data and my clear state of mind suggest otherwise.

Has anyone here experienced the spontaneous loss of sub-vocalization/internal monologue or maybe during meditation?

And for those well-versed in quantum consciousness models, could deep isolation act as a "cooling mechanism" that allows for macro-scale quantum coherence in the brain?

Looking forward to your insights.
Best regards.

 

[Nydex]

Hello, @lone_wolf,

Before anything else, please accept my sincerest condolences for the loss of your mother. May her soul rest in peace.

While I haven't personally experienced this, I think you can leverage it to reach profoundly deep states of consciousness. The experiment you conducted, and the amazing results you observed, hint to me that you might have unknowingly switched your cerebral dominance from left to right (i.e. giving the right hemisphere more influence over your perception of reality). I think @universecannon can also provide some meaningful ideas with relation to the quantum coherence you allude to, as he's been quite heavily invested in this area of research lately, and has also hooked me on to it.

I would rather imagine that it is not because you switched off your internal dialogue that these effects occurred, but rather alongside them, all as the result of this deeply emotional sequence of experiences you went through lately. Historically it would seem like going through emotions of such high intensity tends to "unlock" parts of us that were hitherto unseen. An example would be the trigger for many people with schizophrenia - the "unlocking" of this state of mind often happens exactly after a profoundly moving emotional experience, regardless of its valence.

Do not lose hope, my friend. Because you're wading through the fire, you might have reached a new level of awareness that many people can only dream of. I'm looking forward to hearing UC's input on this as well.

Until then, I'm sending you love and emotional support. Talk to me if you need to, I'm here.

 

[lone_wolf]

Hello, @lone_wolf,

Before anything else, please accept my sincerest condolences for the loss of your mother. May her soul rest in peace.

While I haven't personally experienced this, I think you can leverage it to reach profoundly deep states of consciousness. The experiment you conducted, and the amazing results you observed, hint to me that you might have unknowingly switched your cerebral dominance from left to right (i.e. giving the right hemisphere more influence over your perception of reality). I think @universecannon can also provide some meaningful ideas with relation to the quantum coherence you allude to, as he's been quite heavily invested in this area of research lately, and has also hooked me on to it.

I would rather imagine that it is not because you switched off your internal dialogue that these effects occurred, but rather alongside them, all as the result of this deeply emotional sequence of experiences you went through lately. Historically it would seem like going through emotions of such high intensity tends to "unlock" parts of us that were hitherto unseen. An example would be the trigger for many people with schizophrenia - the "unlocking" of this state of mind often happens exactly after a profoundly moving emotional experience, regardless of its valence.

Do not lose hope, my friend. Because you're wading through the fire, you might have reached a new level of awareness that many people can only dream of. I'm looking forward to hearing UC's input on this as well.

Until then, I'm sending you love and emotional support. Talk to me if you need to, I'm here.

Thank you so much for the warm welcome and for your sincere condolences. It truly means a lot to me.

Your insight about the shift from left to right cerebral dominance is highly intriguing.
I hadn't looked at it from that specific neurological perspective, but it makes perfect sense given how suddenly the analytical, verbal chatter dropped.
I also agree with your point that the profound emotional intensity was likely the overarching catalyst that unlocked this entire state,
rather than the silence being a standalone cause.

I am very glad I decided to post here, and I look forward to hearing what @universecannon (UC) has to share regarding the quantum coherence aspect of this research.

Thank you again for the emotional support and for providing such a profound space for these discussions!

 

[Flufferus]

im a self inflicted loner, so i can understand what your saying.

rare times, i would not speak a word for a month.

after reading about vow of silence that monks take, it is truly a permenantly life altering experience, to even go one month without real communication.

you become an island, with your thoughts spread upon it, yet no one to utter them to, but oneself.

thinking patterns completely change when not seeking input.

Not sure what i was trying to convey or say, but just wanted to say i understand man.

 

[lone_wolf]

im a self inflicted loner, so i can understand what your saying.

rare times, i would not speak a word for a month.

after reading about vow of silence that monks take, it is truly a permenantly life altering experience, to even go one month without real communication.

you become an island, with your thoughts spread upon it, yet no one to utter them to, but oneself.

thinking patterns completely change when not seeking input.

Not sure what i was trying to convey or say, but just wanted to say i understand man.

Thank you so much for reaching out. Your words mean a lot to me.

The way you described it—becoming an island where your thoughts are spread out, with no one to utter them to—is incredibly accurate.

That is exactly how it feels. You didn't need to convey anything more; just knowing that someone else truly understands that specific kind of silence and how it rewires the mind is a huge comfort.

My solitude is because it is hard to find people who understand. And from your answer I can see that you understand.

Thank you for the solidarity, man. Take care of yourself on your island.

 

[Flufferus]

Thank you so much for reaching out. Your words mean a lot to me.

The way you described it—becoming an island where your thoughts are spread out, with no one to utter them to—is incredibly accurate.

That is exactly how it feels. You didn't need to convey anything more; just knowing that someone else truly understands that specific kind of silence and how it rewires the mind is a huge comfort.

My solitude is because it is hard to find people who understand. And from your answer I can see that you understand.

Thank you for the solidarity, man. Take care of yourself on your island.

hehe thanks it has palmtrees and pot plants on it!

one VITAL thing to remember, is to be kind to yourself.

when one is an island, make sure the inhabitants are kind, friendly, and supportive of growth.

negativity in this state should not be tolerated, and any and all means should be employed (think CBT) to re frame your mindset, so you are not your own enemy!

honestly my time alone allowed me to truly see how i treated myself, without outside influences. i realized i was TERRIBLE to myself... bully dosent cut it, i was an abuser!

the worst part, is i had given myself a sort of stockholm syndrome from my own emotional self abuse. i had to seek outside help, one of the few times i could not fix something.

i ended up doing alittle bit of CBT, to challenge my negative self talk. It really helped! not saying your experiencing that.

but i wanted to absolutley stress this CRITCAL point!

real glad i found the nexus, with other like minded islands such as myself. WELCOME TO THE ARCAPELAGO man im sure you will find true belonging and meaning here...

much love

 

[lone_wolf]

hehe thanks it has palmtrees and pot plants on it!

one VITAL thing to remember, is to be kind to yourself.

when one is an island, make sure the inhabitants are kind, friendly, and supportive of growth.

negativity in this state should not be tolerated, and any and all means should be employed (think CBT) to re frame your mindset, so you are not your own enemy!

honestly my time alone allowed me to truly see how i treated myself, without outside influences. i realized i was TERRIBLE to myself... bully dosent cut it, i was an abuser!

the worst part, is i had given myself a sort of stockholm syndrome from my own emotional self abuse. i had to seek outside help, one of the few times i could not fix something.

i ended up doing alittle bit of CBT, to challenge my negative self talk. It really helped! not saying your experiencing that.

but i wanted to absolutley stress this CRITCAL point!

real glad i found the nexus, with other like minded islands such as myself. WELCOME TO THE ARCAPELAGO man im sure you will find true belonging and meaning here...

much love

Haha, love the image of palm trees and pot plants on your island!

Thanks for sharing that perspective, man. Your point about being kind to oneself and challenging negative self-talk is incredibly valid. It takes a lot of self-awareness to recognize those destructive internal patterns, and I'm really glad CBT worked out well for you.

"The Archipelago" is a fantastic metaphor. It's a comforting thought that even if we operate as isolated islands, we can still form a community and connect here.

Thanks for the warm welcome and the solid advice, brother. Much appreciated!

hehe thanks it has palmtrees and pot plants on it!

one VITAL thing to remember, is to be kind to yourself.

when one is an island, make sure the inhabitants are kind, friendly, and supportive of growth.

negativity in this state should not be tolerated, and any and all means should be employed (think CBT) to re frame your mindset, so you are not your own enemy!

honestly my time alone allowed me to truly see how i treated myself, without outside influences. i realized i was TERRIBLE to myself... bully dosent cut it, i was an abuser!

the worst part, is i had given myself a sort of stockholm syndrome from my own emotional self abuse. i had to seek outside help, one of the few times i could not fix something.

i ended up doing alittle bit of CBT, to challenge my negative self talk. It really helped! not saying your experiencing that.

but i wanted to absolutley stress this CRITCAL point!

real glad i found the nexus, with other like minded islands such as myself. WELCOME TO THE ARCAPELAGO man im sure you will find true belonging and meaning here...

much love

 

[universecannon]

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. I can't imagine how difficult that must be. It's understandable that such a shock could re-organize your head in peculiar or even detrimental ways, so I'm glad you seem to be doing ok. As fluff wisely noted, it’s very important to be kind to yourself right now.

Coincidentally I had just been reading earlier about how intense trauma (being raised by a parent with an intense personality disorder etc.) can manifest in people later in life when under intense stress (“polyvagal theory”) - basically where the nervous system shuts down in stages; first the prefrontal cortex shuts down to some degree and one enters a sort of fight or flight mode, and later with the most advanced stage being total shut down (like when an animal gives up on even fight or flight and simply plays dead).

I have no idea if this has anything to do with your situation or if that particular theory has any validity, but it does seem that the brain can essentially shut down by various degrees when confronted with overwhelming stress regardless of whether that particular flavor of the idea has any relevance.

And then on the flip side, part of the brain can also shut down due to intense isolation and disengagement from speech. So perhaps it was a double-whammy of sorts? Who knows really, but maybe when your prefrontal cortex began to re-boot, you found that the normal circuitry surrounding internal dialogue was not as firmly in place or easier to relinquish now that you had already disengaged from it once before

The loss of an internal monologue is quite fascinating for a number of reasons. Distilling all of my thoughts on this right now isn’t possible but several things come to mind. Many ancient techniques seem to be aimed at inhibiting the "monkey mind", or incessant internal chatter of the ego (associated with the DMN and left hemisphere)

The widespread wilderness isolation/trappist/vow of silence style traditions heavily employed that approach. Even meditation largely aimed to quiet what they viewed as a decoherent sense of self, whose identity is heavily anchored to the internal narrative. Sleep deprivation was perhaps the most extreme and effective of the techniques, but is now viewed entirely out of context and is not to be taken lightly.

Once the narrative goes it can be a bit of a revelation, as if there was a punk band playing in the middle of a choir, and you didn't even realize that it was distorting everything until it stopped playing. I don't think this is full freedom from it, more like a partial shut down. If that inner voice is already somewhat inhibited for you (due to the intense emotional situation and isolation) it could indicate that you're in fertile ground for deeper internal exploration.

It seems as though the more interesting “altered” states including psychedelic states are primarily mediated through the right hemisphere.
https://journals.sagepub.com/eprint/GFK4XDFZAIZ8FX8PKTHI/full
Ian McGilchrist has brought the research on left/right brain up to date with his book The Master and his Emissary, which heavily details how the dominant left hemisphere largely suppresses the more baffling right hemisphere, and brings the data back into context after it was largely dismissed with the advent of more advanced brain imaging. But Tony Wright’s work is the real mind blowing stuff and ties it back into an evolutionary and psychedelic context.

How all this might relate to field theories of mind like Hameroff/Penrose or various other field theories is sort of complicated. I don’t know if I really subscribe to any of the major field theories, and I certainly don’t understand the complex math of the Orch Or theory, but the general theme between most of them is fairly consistent - our sense of self is associated with the fields that the neural system emanates. If our sense of self is somehow correlated with these resonance fields, then suddenly all of the basic principle of resonance come into play such as coherence, structural uniformity/integrity, wave dynamics etc. as these are fairly consistent concepts between the various fields and forms of resonance - from acoustic chambers to lasers to EM fields. The Brain Works Like a Resonance Chamber - Neuroscience News

A basic principle of resonance is that uniform structures emanate more coherent resonance fields (generally speaking, variability in geometry suppresses coherent resonance – something even the studies on microtubules note). Think of an orchestra comprised of all the same instruments playing the same note, vs an orchestra of all different instruments of different shapes and sizes. Or a deformed tuning fork that can’t resonate properly. The left hemisphere atrophies with age quicker than the right, and is widely accepted to be more differentiated or “specialized” in its structure (as we age neural cells generally go from a more uniform structure, to increasingly differentiated/unique in structure). Microtubules are particularly sensitive to and central in this process of maturation and brain lateralization, and there appears to be growing evidence that they could be key resonance sub-structures, capable of quantum coherence similar to that observed in photosynthesis due to their crystal-esque lattice structure. Anyways it’s impossible to really try and download all of this into a single post, but that is some of the background as to why the right hemisphere might be more capable of deeper states and abilities, especially if the left's internal narrative/control is lessened.