stuck in a loop forever god help me

[gooldteefs]

thanks for the help everybody.. and no its not lack of experience i had had years of it not only with dmt but with other psychedelics it i think was just one of those things that happen for no reason other then they just happen i have a lot more respect for it now for sure it was one of those things i wouldn't want any one else to go threw i was just getting it out there for others to be aware that it could happen to them ...so no hard feelings guy ..

 

[Kensho]

I'm not necessarily angered by your post but feel you need to be reprimanded in some way for your own good.

I decided a serious response was necessary to what felt like was the OP's unserious approach to DMT (tough love).

Don't think s/he should be reprimanded for having a difficult experience. & doing so would probably not be for their own good. Also, didn't get the impression that s/he was lacking a serious approach. In fact there was no clear approach stated, but simply the difficult results. OP needs to give some better context to the situation (set and setting) before we can determine diagnosis. Until then it's love and support , however possible that is over the internet :? .

I generally don't think reprimanding people "for their own good" is a particularly respectful nor effective way to spread love, respect and acceptance. That four-word phrase is usually very revealing and I am sure I would have been seriously pissed off if I were the one on the receiving end of this "tough love"-approach.

 

[Pandora]

Kensho,

You are a bit behind the times man. Did you bother to read all the replies? Rider submitted this at the end of page 1:

stuck in a loop forever god help me - Welcome discussion - Welcome to the DMT-Nexus

And gooldteefs posted this stuck in a loop forever god help me - Welcome discussion - Welcome to the DMT-Nexus stating no hard feelings.


So, guys, let's move forward eh?

gooldteefs,

Now that a little bit of time has passed, how are you feeling? Are you beginning to do any meaningful integration? Are you having any issues or symptoms that are affecting your baseline functioning?

 

[○]

gooldteefs,

Firstoff, I wish you many more positive journeys ahead. This happens to everyone no matter how 'prepared'.

Out of hundreds of smoked experiences I've had 3 that were VERY intense loops, where the whole of my Self and reality would completely disintegrate and then re-assemble many times throughout the 5-10 minutes. I remember kneeling over and pressing both palms together, praying to make it stop and/or trying to get a better grasp on the remnants of my Self and what was transpiring.

Who really knows why these types of experiences happen exactly. Roll with the punches and persevere. :thumb_up:

Tat Tvam Asi

 

[Kensho]

Yep Pandora, I can see now that I was a bit quick there clicking on the quote button thingy, thanks for the heads up.

Take care, Gooldteefs and heal well

 

[Raz]

Firstly, paranoia about being stuck in the altered state is one of the most important things to be vigilant about. One is supposed to work to calm him or herself with the knowledge that the state is temporary.

This is good advice that can be aplied to the experiance of the physical body as well :thumb_up:

 

[Felnik]

This kind of experience can happen to anyone . I was a few
Years into this with many , many trips under my belt when I was
Blindsided by one of these looping type experiences. If it hasn't happened
To you yet you really have idea what your talking about plain and simple.
It stands as the single scariest thing that has ever happened to me.
Once your in it no amount of preperation can help , you just
Breathe and ride it out . Just when you think you know what its about
Is when it will throw a curve ball .
Set setting and dose is everything

 

[somethingsintheway]

It is funny that I saw this post because I was just doing the dishes and was going to pop on here to see if looping is common or not. It's unfortunate that it became a bad trip. One time I was listening to a very repetative daft punk song and as soon as this beat started and time slowed I started to freak out and thought I'd never leave as well, although I still don't consider it a negative experience for me. I always take DMT as it comes, and I don't fight it much. I agree with other posters who say not to fight it, and mental prepardness is key. But mentally preparing yourself won't stop it either. Maybe mentally prepare yourself for the unknown, and realize anything can happen in that space. Respect, prepare, have fun!

 

[DreaMcasT]

Sounds like you were not mentally prepared for DMT. I'd even presume you didn't do enough reading about the experience either. If you smoke DMT and are so startled that you fight it from the first hit, you either did no meaningful preparation or have an extremely delicate psyche.

I would agree some-what with what this human said. You most definitely need to remember to 'let go' and you must be in a good, and ready state of mind before indulging. DMT is a very powerful and life altering substance/experience. I ALWAYS recommend first timers to do tons and tons of research before even considering doing this substance. I will however say you don't need to be reprimanded by any means. We all live and learn, sometimes the only way to figure something out is to dive head first into something, and be put in our place. I hope you find yourself trying it again, with a little more knowledge, as I am sure you have learned so much from your experience!

Blessings!

 

[febs]

Ok hey everyone I've been a long time lurker have dealt with psych's ever since I was in 8th grade, my first lsd trip and this thread, the words some of you speak is wisdom beyond useful that everyone who is exploring this should definitely read and have set in their mind because it has ripped me apart, took my mind through the most fucked up experiences I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy but at the same time think it's just like some of you have stated. It knows exactly how to get your attention and wake you the fuck up to reality and it was exactly what I needed to experience in order to get myself right. And this is coming from DMT and my worst yet was only 3-4 grams of shrooms+DMT it chewed my ass up spit me out and destroyed everything I loved or cared about and I felt like it was all my fault like some how my open eyed visuals that started to go fucked up jumped over into reality, and just started tearing everything around me into darkness until it consumed everything, earth moon sun stars everything and I truly felt my real life and everyone was destroyed because of my self exploring medication and it fucked with me even more when I came to and realized it was just a trip but then I thought maybe it was a sign of how the world was going to end because it was so fucking real. I'm not talking closed eyes off to another dimension type of trip with entities and all that. I'm saying real as shit everything around me my cats dogs, my house just ripped into nothing like cern had opened a black hole or someshit and everything just stretched/ripped into darkness. And that was the first time with DMT this last one on shrooms+dmt altered my reality to the point where I became something I can't even explain. It's like I fucking passed out while watching tv and then woke up and knew instantly I was fucked. I was ten feet tall and I shot up into the sky completely blowing my house apart only to land back down inside it with everything coming back together and everything was fucked up distorted and it started ripping my world a part again and again and just as I thought it was done and that was the end of my life, this presence came flying over me and wrapped itself around me in like a bubble and had complete control of me floating as the world all around went to shit and it's power I could just feel could easily end my life like it was God taking control and protecting me from my own mayhem. I freaked my girl out so bad and while she sat watching over me, that bubble would fly in overhead quick as fuck every so often like it was checking to make sure I was ok and the beauty of it made me an emotional wreck everytime it came, but in a positive beyond loving, feeling kind of way so while it was the worst experience at the same time it was the most eye opening, self-revealing loving and completely life changing thing that I feel a lot of people need to experience in order to battle their demons or remind ourselves what we take for granted so much. I seriously drove my girl to tears she was dead sober and got sick n puked and was ready to leave my ass I thought I was going to the mental ward it was that fucking bad but now that I think about it, it was exactly what I needed because it opened me up to my girl in a way I've never connected to anyone before and if my sanity serves me right I truly believe this has brought us even closer and I'm using or at least going to try my damnedest to use those experiences to get on with life appreciating the ones who matter most in my life more than you could even imagine. I see so much power in this, with the right mind set I feel this could help heal anyones demons/addictions. It really felt like it was evil/negative demonic shit posessing me but in reality it was the opposite. It's like it showed me the path I was going and where it would lead in the most intense way possible or I in fact did recieve some sign warning me of the end times I guess I'll hope I can come down from this trip and see. This is no shit to roll your eyes at it will find your weakness and give you the ass beating of your life just like you guys have stated. I'm still trying to take it all in and learn from it because I didn't go into this to have fun or to just 'trip out man,' no this was a last resort to try and better myself but it's such a mind fuck because it's so powerful I seriously need to sleep this shit off but thank you guys for your words of wisdom and people a word of advice, have someone you love watch over you and make sure you do no harm to yourself or any one else while you're going through it because I could easily see someone not being able to haandle that shit at all and having it destroy their life if not done with the right mind set. It almost did it to me and I knew exactly what I was getting into but this shit was like 100X stronger then anything I've ever done and the experience I had was real as fuck. and I had no control of it until that bubble came thankfully. I owe my life to that bubble lol. Anyways y'all probably think I'm a nut case and I'm sorry for starting my intro off like this but I just couldn't 'not' express what I experienced and I apologize if any of this makes no sense at all as I'm not so great at writing things out. I appreciate this site and if it wasn't for me finding it I can't imagine myself being able to handle it without the knowledge I gained from everyone here and I'm sincerely not trying to brown nose my way into acceptance just genuinely trying to express my gratitude n appreciation. Peace n love just wish I could do something in return. If I did anything against the rule/reg's I apologize and would gladly correct myself. Anyways happy trails and thank you.

 

[downwardsfromzero]

Welcome to the Nexus.

It sounds like you've had a full-on terrifying experience there. I hope this thread has already been able to provide you with some help and reassurance.

About your post: For the sake of readability, please could you edit in some paragraph breaks?

Also, check the attitude page where you'll see, amongst other important things, guidelines about what kind of language to use in your posts. Most of your cuss words are unnecessary and detract from the quality of what is otherwise an interesting and relevant post - although I can quite understand you expressing yourself in that way given the circumstances.


It actually reminds me of a time I freaked out while, of all things, huffing ether (in my foolish youth). Somehow the loops of deja vu built up into tsunami-like proportions which then came crashing down upon me. I had seen over the brink into the impending demise of all reality! At this point I screamed at the top of my lungs, causing another occupant of the house to come running into the room. Fortunately my mate fended him off by saying we were rehearsing a drama piece.


So, stick around awhile longer as there are plenty of people here willing to lend you a kind word of support.

Be well!

 

[protostar]

To OP:

This is exactly what happened to me the very first time I smoked DMT, and it was in the form of changa.
It was a very powerful changa, mixed at a ratio of 1:1 plant material to DMT.
An intense terror gripped my heart, and I felt like something horrible was going to happen, and I was afraid that I was going to be stuck in this fear dimension until the destruction of the universe, in other words eternity.
That made me freak out even more, and I couldn't do anything about it, except stay glued to my chair and accept my inevitable annihilation and descent into hell.
This was from just one inhalation of the changa.
I also felt like something "bit" me in the back of the head, and clenched my heart really tightly.
To be honest, I think that people from my past are trying to intimidate me intentionally, and it is people that act like they're my friends but are secretly plotting against me.
I wish I just stayed home my whole life and never met anybody, then I would have always been safe.

 

[HerbalPotion]

I had a similar experienced with 50mg vaped spice. I took the first hit, and then halfway through the second there was an earth-shattering popping sound and I was gone. Everything was moving way too fast. It was like I was being pulled in 5 different directions simultaneously. I thought that I would never come back. I thought of my family, my friends, how I will never again be able to live a normal life.. It was pure terror.. Eventually I started to come back and I was just awestruck. I was so grateful to still have my sanity. I believe it was the spirit of this molecule telling me I need to respect it and not abuse it. At that time I was smoking spice once a day. Deems is nothing to fuck around with it will slap the fuck out of you like you have never known.

 

[Doc Buxin]

...and accept my inevitable annihilation and descent into hell...

Acceptance of what is IS one of the most important things one can do, no matter what one is experiencing!

When one fully surrenders to and accepts the totality of one's circumstance, then one realizes that no circumstance lasts forever. The ego will fight this tooth and nail of course and that is often no laughing matter.

...I also felt like something "bit" me in the back of the head, and clenched my heart really tightly...

I've had journeys on DMT where my entire head was bit off and swallowed by a giant slug-like monster. Others where all my teeth shattered into a million pieces. I accepted that at the moment it was happening with no problems. I could go on and on recalling insane experiences like that, but I won't because it's par for the course.

...Deems is nothing to fuck around with it will slap the fuck out of you like you have never known...

...check the attitude page where you'll see, amongst other important things, guidelines about what kind of language to use in your posts...

 

[Mr Anderson]

I have been caught in loops almost every single time with D. They are super frightening and because of the confusion they create they are hard to break out of. I have researched as much as I can regarding loops and why they happen. It may be due to smoking too much, it may be due to smoking too little, it has been preparation for BT on a couple of occasions. My loops have stopped time completely. My body movements have repeated in exactly the same way minutes after they have first happened. An example would be stretching my leg out at the exact same time in the same way from the same position I had moved from during my trip. I have also had the visuals on loop at exactly the same time as my body movements. I read somewhere (Probably here) that it could be due to the Multiverse theory. Infinite amounts of Me smoking D at exactly the same time and jumping in and out of 'Echoes' of other Me's at slightly different times. This possible explanation sits well with me and helps me to stay calm ONLY once I have recognised that I'm looping. Then I can relax and either realise it will wear off or try and smoke more to BT because the anxiety has gone due to the fact that I am aware that I'm looping.

If you get caught in a loop and lose the ability to cognitively process the events that keep looping this is where it becomes EXTREMELY DARK! Suddenly I have found myself repeating the same things with absolutely no control of my body. It literally is like being in another me without any control. Very scary. Insanity is the best way to describe it - over and over again. However, On one trip, I had the very best BT of my D experience once I had recognised the loop. I found the looping with the same body movements absolutely hilarious and kept refilling my jet lighter knowing that I'd already done it and knowing that I was going to BT again without needing to reload my pipe because I had ALREADY done it twice before.

The recognition of the loop kicked off the perfect entheogenic trip and I have no doubt I was shown some of the secrets of the Universe/Multiverse whilst laughing like I have never laughed ever or laughed like since. I am now chasing that perfect BT again but this time with a bit more memory so that I don't ever have to smoke it again. Unfortunately I recently gained financially from the product and am absolutely terrified of going back in case I get punished. Even though I passed it on to someone who will make sure it goes to the right people I feel like I might have messed up but then again I have become a firm believer that D is self selective and everything that happens with it is meant to happen. This might just be my ego self justifying my actions but why would I be learning Teks and getting so involved in this? It's going to be an interesting trip next time I smoke it and I will be going there expecting a bad Hyperslap. Do bark sellers get Hyperslaps? I don't want to be scared so I might just give a load away to compensate. The time loop of terror awaits...

 

[tseuq]

Acceptance of what is IS one of the most important things one can do, no matter what one is experiencing!

I totally follow Doc with this advice! In my experience, these are all delusions, believes based on interpretations, all made up by my own mind. The confrontation with the seeming uncontrollable can evoke fear.

One other dominant loop which I experience, is the "idea of self". :twisted:

To "step out of delusion" (what ever), I keep on breathing, give myself all in (to what is) and go with it (let go of believe). I am (now) that and nothing separated.

tseuq

 

[BirdmanDMT]

Well, I was going to chime in on the rather brutal take-down of poor ol' gooldteefs, but it seems others have already done so... so I'll let that part go.

I have yet to run a DMT experiment, but I have experimented with other hallucinogens (including extreme doses of LSD). I seldom experienced any negative effects on acid. In fact, people wanted me around during their trips because I helped them feel safe. However, 20X Salvia was a total nightmare! I have trouble even speaking its name!

There is no fool-proof preparation method that insures you will have an enjoyable experience when experimenting with any psychoactive compound. This is all "chemistry." The fact remains that you are taking a powerful drug that alters your perception to the point that it is tantamount to psychosis. If some of the things you see are not what you want to see, well, you're pretty much screwed. You're screwed for the halflife of the compound and that's just the way it goes.

I will agree that having a good attitude, no apprehension and a safe, comfortable environment are all important, but these are all just common sense things YOU can do to make sure you aren't doing anything that may contribute to a bad experience. If you are going through a divorce, filing bankruptcy or just lost your job... that's probably going to be made manifest in some horrible way after taking your drug. On the flip side, you could have just won the lottery and scored with Adriana Lima and STILL have a horrible experience on ANY psychoactive drug.

There are soooooo many variables that come into play that nobody can accurately claim they have a fool proof method for having an enjoyable experience (or can condemn someone who has just experienced one)! Safe use of Hallucinogens is a complicated balancing act because, once again... it's all chemistry both outside and inward.

-Birdman

P.S. Personal Tip: Have a pre-determined goal in mind before you launch into space. During the days before you experiment with any psychoactive compound, do a lot of thinking about a complex questions you may have regarding life (like, "Why do I exists?" "Is there a God?" "Why do we suffer in life?" ). I have found that if you genuinely reflect on these issues and condition your mind a few days beforehand, your mind will reciprocate in a more friendly and fulfilling manner. ...It's like practicing your music for a few days before you go on stage.

Your brain is a highly-refined tool used for "discovery." It wasn't stuck inside your head just to entertain you.

 

[DutchEnergySystem]

In the past I also had terrifying experiences with dmt. Even so that it made me allot of times really questioning about myself why I would continue to take it in the first place.
Many years where like this until one moment in real life I started thinking about why bad things happen to me. Because in the past when bad things happened i got scared and depressed telling myself: why me?
Thinking about this i realised that I am angry because thinks didnt go how I wanted it. Then I thought if everything would go as I wanted I wouldnt have a good relationship with life. Because having a relationship with anything that doesnt have a will of its own would be mind numbing boring.
After reading a quote from Allan Wats that all emotions, wether good or bad, ar as important as the sun cummin up and the rain falling down (or something similar).
Starting then I started apreciating life with all its up and down. I still get angry or sad if there is a down in life, but now I realise that they are nessecery and the most important thing of all: I allow myself to feel the feelings, instead of saying: oh no I’m depressed. This is a problem that needs to change as soon as possible. I now allow my feeling to manifest.

Sinds then smoking dmt is perfect for me. Dmt gives allot and can make you feel confused, scared, or any other emotion. You have to allow these things to manifest. And if you feel angry about this, allow yourself to feel this feeling.
If you dont do this, or saying that experience is bad and I dont want it, you can make yourself difficult.

That is the way to completely stop trying to control dmt.

If dmt gave you everytime what u want from it, everybody would be bored with it pretty fast