thank you, pharma inc.

[tango]

Just had a public speaking event and I just wanna say that no amount of yoga and exercising and preparation helped me get honorably trough these dreaded circumstances in the past. Today, it was 1 mg of xanax that did the job, and it did it well.

Furthermore, even knowing that something like this exists is of enormous help. I only wish I had become aware of this earlier !

ps. unrelated to the above, does anyone know if it's possible to change my screen name w/out removing the account?

 

[joedirt]

PM Trav about your screen name. It's been done in the past.

Peace

 

[AlphaCentauri]

I have no idea how much you have these public speakings, but beware of benzos. They can be horrible when used long-term even in trace amounts, it WILL get you hooked if you don't watch out.

 

[DeMenTed]

Xanax does a few things very well. Being good for you isn't one of them.

 

[tango]

joe -thanks for the tip
alpha -thanks for the concern;

I'm not crazy about the way benzos make me feel, so not popping them like a soap opera housewife. But I'm definitely going to use them more, as needed. I do have a scrip, but that doesn't really mean much to me other than the fact that i don't have to pay for them. From what I've seen on meds forums,many ppl in the us seem to believe that if a doc rx.ed them something, nothing can go wrong -I'm well aware of the dangers presented by this kind of mindset.

On the other hand, the boost in confidence given by a successful undertaking (albeit powered by the benzo) brings about quite a natural boost in confidence -sort of like when you come down from a psychedelic trip and feel a bit more enlightened. In either case, it may not last, but it still gives you something to work with.

I know this meds are dangerous and I know many people here look down on them. But considering how many people suffer from various anxieties (public speaking being a major one) and go through tremendous lengths to avoid such stressors (just check an anxiety forum -you'll be surprised!), I think the benzos are well worth the risk.

 

[acacian]

benzo's sent a mate of mine proper loopy for a bit. be really careful with them

 

[tango]

thanks everyone and yes, I know they can be crazy addictive; but it's always a trade-off, and anxiety will kill you faster than the benzos if you take into account all the other nasties that come with it.

One can't will himself or herself out of these states, and with every failure, the problem gets bigger. Then comes the anticipation, and it goes on and on. I have no studies to cite here, but it would be reasonable enough to believe that this stress alone does more damage on one's body than the meds. And then add to that the mental burden.

I remember reading somewhere that depression may cause irreversible changes in the brain. So yeah, AD medication will mess up with your body chemistry, but so will depression. Same goes for anxiety.

 

[corpus callosum]

Public speaking-either you love it or hate it, but with practise and pushing oneself out of ones comfort zone it can become easier.

Im not a fan of it myself.I think benzos are useful provided the dose is right-too high and one can forget the gist of the speech/talk etc. Beta blockers are also very useful for this and, IME, an appropriate dose of an opiate can be just the ticket but again this requires a good deal of familiarity with the effects/dosages. Theres nothing quite as tragic as nodding off in mid-flow, or trying to speak with an unduly dry mouth or an overwhelming desire to itch.

 

[tango]

Yes, if you do it often enough you get better at it. But it has to be done in a controlled environment -it's therapy, basically. Random exposure to triggers makes matters worse, because one often keeps going through more failure and the trauma builds up.

I personally don't have experience with opiates, but from the little I've tried i can tell that they add something (Same goes for alcohol). Benzos, on the other hand, simply take something away (i.e. the anxiety).

For an improv situation, uppers (ie adderall &co) and benzos can mix well, but the timing is key and the effects can sometimes be unpredictable (except for the dryyyyy mouth -that's always there for me). Actually, uppers alone can do the job as long as you're riding the wave, but if something goes wrong, anxiety will build up much faster than without the drug.

So, when it comes to public speaking, good preparation and benzos are my winning combo for now.

 

[VoidTraveler]

As most posters already made clear: The use of benzodiazepines is strongly discouraged on the Nexus. You'll find that a lot of members on these forums aren't big fans of pharmaceuticals like benzos or amphetamines. Part of that is their potential side-effects, addictive behavior and their mechanism of action.

To me, using benzos in order to be able to make it through public speaking events without actually working on solving the cause is a bad thing. I understand that you're having a hard time with it, but perhaps it's a good idea that you seek a way to train yourself and resolve your issues.

I joined a debating society in order to learn how to speak in public. It's a controlled environment where you can make mistake after mistake without being judged for it. In fact, they will encourage you do try again and again, help you reflect on what went wrong and how to deal with that the next time. It's a perfect micro-public environment that's perfect for gaining confidence and skills. Please don't use patchwork medications to avoid having to deal with your problems, it will halt or even undo your personal growth.

Alternatively you could slowly lower your dose each event. So next time you try 900 microgram, next time 800 microgram, etc. That way there's a learning curve and you can slowly get acquainted with public speaking.

Good luck!

 

[tango]

As most posters already made clear: The use of benzodiazepines is strongly discouraged on the Nexus. You'll find that a lot of members on these forums aren't big fans of pharmaceuticals like benzos or amphetamines. Part of that is their potential side-effects, addictive behavior and their mechanism of action.

To me, using benzos in order to be able to make it through public speaking events without actually working on solving the cause is a bad thing. I understand that you're having a hard time with it, but perhaps it's a good idea that you seek a way to train yourself and resolve your issues.



Good luck!

The reason why I visit this site so often is because I value what the other members have to say. But this doesn't mean that they always have the solution, for everyone, and that's exactly why I made the post.

To you, VoidT, using benzos may be a bad thing,but to me and many others it is not. What's a bad thing is assuming that you know what other people are going through, and that you have the solution.

If any of you will pick up an abnormal psychology textbook, you'll see that there are LOTS of conditions one cannot just work through or pull themselves out of. As for not looking for a cure, the benzos ARE part of the cure. I am, by no means, encouraging anyone to just get hold of some pills and rest assured that all their issues are solved.

Please visit a forum dealing with social anxiety (related to speaking in front of crowds): it makes people drop out of school, lose jobs, avoid relationships, not leave the house -basically go through hell while knowing perfectly well that the fears are completely illogical and unrealistic. Worst of all, with every failure the issue becomes more serious and, not only does one fear the event, but they fear getting the physical symptoms, which, of course, becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

If something like benzos can stop this downward spiral, then they should be used. Also, I want to point out that the 'join a debate club' solution is hardly a cure. It may work for those who have mild problems, but for all others is akin to saying 'smile, things can't be that bad' to someone with major depression.

 

[Eliyahu]

Since your willing to sacrifice your physical and mental well being for public speaking slills here is another suggestion:

Mabye you could tie some chicken bones around your neck and hang out at a lonely crossroads after midnight..

....Then you can sell your soul to the Devil for the ability to be a confident and powerful public speaker.

Hey,
If it cures your social anxiety and stops your downward spiral.

Why not?

 

[Pup Tentacle]

Benzos are like fire extinguishers for me, I use them very rarely, but they're great for those really scarey fires.

Good Luck and blessings.

 

[VoidTraveler]

The reason why I visit this site so often is because I value what the other members have to say. But this doesn't mean that they always have the solution, for everyone, and that's exactly why I made the post.

To you, VoidT, using benzos may be a bad thing,but to me and many others it is not. What's a bad thing is assuming that you know what other people are going through, and that you have the solution.

If any of you will pick up an abnormal psychology textbook, you'll see that there are LOTS of conditions one cannot just work through or pull themselves out of. As for not looking for a cure, the benzos ARE part of the cure. I am, by no means, encouraging anyone to just get hold of some pills and rest assured that all their issues are solved.

Please visit a forum dealing with social anxiety (related to speaking in front of crowds): it makes people drop out of school, lose jobs, avoid relationships, not leave the house -basically go through hell while knowing perfectly well that the fears are completely illogical and unrealistic. Worst of all, with every failure the issue becomes more serious and, not only does one fear the event, but they fear getting the physical symptoms, which, of course, becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

If something like benzos can stop this downward spiral, then they should be used. Also, I want to point out that the 'join a debate club' solution is hardly a cure. It may work for those who have mild problems, but for all others is akin to saying 'smile, things can't be that bad' to someone with major depression.

Fair enough.

 

[tango]

Since your willing to sacrifice your physical and mental well being for
Hey,
If it cures your social anxiety and stops your downward spiral.

Why not?

why not, indeed ! Reading some of the comments reminds me of the little DEA agent living in all of us.

 

[ntwhtyouknw]

Everyone I've ever encountered(myself included) who discovered pharmaceuticals thought they found the answer to their problems. It never seems like the wrong decision to anyone at first because it temporarily fixes these problems. Please take into consideration the very problems they fix they will most likely come to cause a greater negative impact on one in the long run. For instance benzos are great for treating anxiety and seizures but try coming off of a daily intake and the very symptoms they are meant to treat will come back 10 fold this I know from experience. Benzos for most are a life long commitment that comes at a steep price. So one must genuinely ask themselves what is the greater worth? I once convinced myself into having terrible anxiety so I could get klonopin while I was in rehab, the symptoms were real but caused by my own twisted thinking. Today I have made the decisions to live free of depression and anxiety, that couple with meditation has done wonders that no magic pill could ever accomplish in my life...

Much love

 

[DeMenTed]

Sorry tango but your post just sounds like an advert for valium. Oh i'm scared and benzo's are the answer kinda thing.

I like the phrase, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Imagine how amazing you would feel if you overcame your fears without meds. If you are terrified of public speaking then surely theres a better way than dumbing yourself up?

Also the confidence that valium gives you is what is initially addictive and very soon after that comes physical addiction and depression. Valium will destroy your confidence in the long run.

Edit - i meant xanax not valium but very similar.

 

[joedirt]

It's even more absurd to go through life thinking you can't take drugs to help you out because someone somewhere deems it 'better' to feel good naturally.

I used to be anti anti-depressant, then I realized that everyone just wants to be happy. If taking a little pill helps a person get passed something like stage fright and this ultimately helps that persons life I say HURAY. Success for modern drugs. However don't be foolish and start popping valium/xanax all the time.

BE YOUR OWN PHARMACISTS. That means learning everything about the drugs you ingest.

Peace.

 

[arcanum]

Xanax is one of the more addictive benzo's ( short half life) And it does sound as if you are on a path to dependence by the way you word the defense for them. If you have to take benzos, then the longer acting ones are in fact less addictive. ( I know , I spent years on the bloody things and the withdrawal lasted many months)

What about a nice x20 Blue Lotus extract tea? Just as good and a lot less sinister than Xanax.

 

[The Day Tripper]

What joedirt said. To argue that meditation and or psychedelics (confronting your problems imho) is the ultimate solution you will have very few dissidents. But people can and do use all manner of drugs responsibly and with very beneficial therapeutic effects, prescribed or not. No matter what their affects, the supreme difference being, the mindset of therapeutic responsible drug use, and abuse. One hurts unimaginably, one is a helpful ally to sort our your problems long term, if you can be responsible and disciplined around them.

You running a risk of addiction playing around with benzos, opiates, whatever. No one will dispute that. No one will argue against the argument that they have therapeutic potential for SHORT TERM problems that are symptoms of the more deep set problems you have as well though. If your not working on that, they are just a crutch, a short term one, that will bite you in the ass HARD in the long run. Abused or not.

They have their uses for those who can be disciplined and responsible enough to "be their own pharmacist". Which every person should take the personal responsibility of doing so i might add, but if you at any time doubt your intentions for using them, or feel they are the ONLY thing you can do to help, your delusional and probably deepset in an addiction. In that case you need to seek professional help at dealing with your problems.

But used responsibly, with considerations of the very real risks involved, they have their uses. Those risks are just grossly underestimated by the vast majority of people using them though, since a lot of them secede personal responsibility of their own health and body to their doctor. Who is paid to prescribe these drugs more often and has a financial interest in doing so.


EDIT- as a side note i would like to add, imho, alcohol is probably as damaging in the long term as benzos as far as numbing away the problems. you'll encounter alot more cognitive dissonance making that argument though. In any case, numbing away your problems with a drug (no matter what it may be) never works unless you are dealing with the root of the problem without drugs. Coming from someone who has tried to numb away the problems, and realized the damage and futility of doing so, in regards to social anxiety and a myriad of downers, including short acting benzos.