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What's going on... with everybody?

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ms_manic_minxx

ms_manic_minxx

Esteemed member
OG Pioneer
I think it's kind of interesting that a lot of us are experiencing intense upheavals right now, and thought it may be worth a bit of further discussion. I have no idea how much sense this will make, but I feel like talking a bit about The Strangeness I have felt lately...

I am definitely SHEDDING, SHEDDING, SHEDDING nearly everything attached to me: to create space to allow *something new* (I have no idea -WHAT- ... ) to grow.

I also have the distinct feeling that everything is *speeding up.*

I feel like my life is slowly spinning through a series of events. As I grow in consciousness, and learn from experiences (even horrendously bad ones, I've had some intense ones this year), I feel the same situations repeating themselves, but from different perspectives. It's like, as I learn one perspective, I can experience the same thing from another. There are a limited number of experiences on the wheel, and the wheel has been spinning faster and faster, repeating experiences, repeating experiences. In addition to that, many situations I encounter all seem to operate on unconscious destructive thought loops that are not viable for the long term survival of the practice. I recognize patterns of destruction, and it is sometimes startling to realize that A's failure to recognize reality is ultimately pushing for complete destruction of establishment XYZ (like my new job).

One difference is that, in the past, while I may have been the subject of destruction due to my unaware propagation of negative thought loops, now I am standing right beside them. I see the cycles repeating themselves: it's like being in a car with someone driving down the wrong side of the road, seeing the giant truck headed straight at me, and not knowing how to pull the brake or turn the wheel. It's also scary because my life can still be profoundly affected by these massively destructive patterns enacted constantly by other people.

I used to be too wrapped up in myself and creating my own problems to notice all the chaos around me. Through exploring myself, DMT has made me intimately aware of destructive behavior loops that needed to be sorted out to ensure my ultimate survival in all material and nonmaterial planes (again, another reason I'm selling my car: the energy involved and consumed). Now that I recognize these patterns and know them, all I have to do is look at the same situation from a slightly different angle, and I see 1,000,000 ways so many present situations are about to collapse.

Everything feels so overstretched. We are all telling lies. We are all living beyond our means. We are all vastly dissatisfied with this incredibly complicated web we've woven...

I feel like, maybe, in a way, these situations are repeating themselves over and over for me to quickly learn what will and will not ensure the survival of my being. Even things that are psychologically untenable, customs and obligations that can wear us away from the INSIDE OUT. These things are just as destructive, as, say, deforestation (destruction from the outside in).

Seeing everyone--here and in my personal life--experience such intense transition makes me wonder if we're all sorting through loops in the same way. This is just my take...

I feel like so many of our human brothers and sisters are sitting on the ledge of a 20 story building, dangerously drunk and oblivious to the reality right behind them. I'm not judging; I'm not getting a martyr complex and thinking I can change the world: I am merely OBSERVING, and my intuition is feeling a big, "OH, SHIT!" for all of us.

And then some volcanoes erupted.

The other thing that comes to mind is that these series of events are ways of exposing an extremely subconscious script of lies I've fed to myself to use as crutches for dealing with a brutal reality. "Out of the frying pan, into the fire." Ever have the experience of telling yourself something just to get by? It's like I find myself in places, and think, "Well, at least there is no X here." And then a new situation was purposely constructed to prove me wrong, force me to think differently, and reexamine my behavior until I accept the fact I need to dump massive behavioral scripts altogether to truly grow as a person.

For example, working. Am I going to spent the rest of my life drifting from shitty job to shitty job, telling myself the present one isn't so awful or so unfulfilling, because blah blah blah blah blah... or... what? What I TRULY NEED is a society with a completely different structure. But that's such a huge leap. Tolerably shitty jobs at least put a roof over my head and give me enough free time to persue my work with the molecule--only to be chastized by the molecule for working shitty jobs and settling to live as a secret drug user in an unsustainable society, compromising the true beauty of my spirit.

SO WTF?

I know I am going for a ride and there is definitely a destination: I have total faith in my path, so it's not like I'm down and out and in a panic. Just observing... and watching intense pressure build... The pressure is in me... It is in everyone... It is rising...
 
I feel it too man, and this goddamn volcano business had me laughing my ass of letting some of the pressure out with it. Haha, shit is totally fucking nuts these days, and alot of people seem to be feeling it. It's damn interesting times, and I think this is the nurture for change. I don't know, maybe I am nuts (probably), but then I am certainly not alone being just that :)

But as a sidenote to all of this there is lots of things going on all the time. You go back 20 years lots of shit was happening, you go back 40 years lots of shit was happening. Just depends on where you look. So I donno
 
there's a great awakening coming.

the signs are out there, everywhere.

when a large occurrence of negative things happen at once, it's a pretty good sign that something is going to spring up. The universe must balance itself.

tough times are a catalyst for change.
 
I'm writing this being driven by 1000 volts of unknown current in my body... This is some fucking high energy vibration that wants to rip me apart, or rise me up, whatever. I feel like some egg that is chained to the ground and there is something inside that wants to break free from that egg, pulls upwards but cannot... The high frequencies are driving a separation, but it cannot happen because the earthy component is too heavy, it cannot be lifted out... And this generates enormous stress.

Yesterday I met a soulmate who I haven't seen in several years. Two weeks ago he got "electrified" and cannot really sleep since then... Met with him in the garden of a local university (he's student of philosophy in his last year of studies). He was tripping balls without any drugs. He has a vision that something began to unfold and wants him to assist... He feels an unstoppable urge to do something, to express it, to bring it over. He told about a computer game, something like Farmville, that would connect the Earth's population to each other, to make a global web that ensures the collective uprising... It was very trippy. My earth-bound part came with the usual stuff (it cannot be done, too difficult, how would it work, where does the money come from, etc.), but my "alien" part, ... wow. It felt that the guy was/is really onto something.

But today morning, when bringing my daughter to the kindergarten, she sensed the alien energy in me and translated it like this: "Daddy, you're gonna hit me?" And I was baffled because it was so unexpected... But then I looked deep inside me and saw that she is right, that I cannot handle this energy, therefore it's pouring into aggression which I can fortunately stop but it's still there... And there is this separation again: there is somebody inside (or outside) who is watching this energy and what is happening with it and grabbing it and pressing it down in fear that if it gets free something terrible might happen... And there is that miserable, wretched and crippled earthly shell in which this universal drama of eternal forces is being played out... Acting as a stage, but not participating, just the pain. This fucking calling, if it is not fulfilled, then it destroys me... But it is so fucking difficult. I have a life, I have a family, I don't want to disrupt it because of an illusion I implanted into myself through the use of fucking psychedelic drugs (sorry guys)... But the alien inside is laughing as if it were all already done. Fuck, I'm afraid.

Jesus said, "If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you.
If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you."

(The Gospel of Thomas)
Click to expand...

Edit: this is what I'm afraid to lose (in general, not just in my own life):
 
cellux said:
Jesus said, "If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you.
If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you."
(The Gospel of Thomas)
Click to expand...

Thanks for sharing this quote, Cellux - the Gospel of Thomas is a very special text.
 
Sidenote: I looked up the Gospel of Thomas and found that this quote I posted is not quite right.

Here is a translation from the Nag Hammadi library ( Gospel of Thomas (Lambdin Translation) -- The Nag Hammadi Library ):

(70) Jesus said, "That which you have will save you if you bring it forth from yourselves. That which you do not have within you will kill you if you do not have it within you."
Click to expand...

which doesn't make as much sense to me as the previous quote, btw.

(That's the problem with scriptures: you can never be sure about the truth until you get direct connection to the Source and find out for yourself.)
 
ms_manic_minxx said:
I think it's kind of interesting that a lot of us are experiencing intense upheavals right now, and thought it may be worth a bit of further discussion. I have no idea how much sense this will make, but I feel like talking a bit about The Strangeness I have felt lately...

I am definitely SHEDDING, SHEDDING, SHEDDING nearly everything attached to me: to create space to allow *something new* (I have no idea -WHAT- ... ) to grow.

I also have the distinct feeling that everything is *speeding up.*

I feel like my life is slowly spinning through a series of events. As I grow in consciousness, and learn from experiences (even horrendously bad ones, I've had some intense ones this year), I feel the same situations repeating themselves, but from different perspectives. It's like, as I learn one perspective, I can experience the same thing from another. There are a limited number of experiences on the wheel, and the wheel has been spinning faster and faster, repeating experiences, repeating experiences. In addition to that, many situations I encounter all seem to operate on unconscious destructive thought loops that are not viable for the long term survival of the practice. I recognize patterns of destruction, and it is sometimes startling to realize that A's failure to recognize reality is ultimately pushing for complete destruction of establishment XYZ (like my new job).

One difference is that, in the past, while I may have been the subject of destruction due to my unaware propagation of negative thought loops, now I am standing right beside them. I see the cycles repeating themselves: it's like being in a car with someone driving down the wrong side of the road, seeing the giant truck headed straight at me, and not knowing how to pull the brake or turn the wheel. It's also scary because my life can still be profoundly affected by these massively destructive patterns enacted constantly by other people.

I used to be too wrapped up in myself and creating my own problems to notice all the chaos around me. Through exploring myself, DMT has made me intimately aware of destructive behavior loops that needed to be sorted out to ensure my ultimate survival in all material and nonmaterial planes (again, another reason I'm selling my car: the energy involved and consumed). Now that I recognize these patterns and know them, all I have to do is look at the same situation from a slightly different angle, and I see 1,000,000 ways so many present situations are about to collapse.

Everything feels so overstretched. We are all telling lies. We are all living beyond our means. We are all vastly dissatisfied with this incredibly complicated web we've woven...

I feel like, maybe, in a way, these situations are repeating themselves over and over for me to quickly learn what will and will not ensure the survival of my being. Even things that are psychologically untenable, customs and obligations that can wear us away from the INSIDE OUT. These things are just as destructive, as, say, deforestation (destruction from the outside in).

Seeing everyone--here and in my personal life--experience such intense transition makes me wonder if we're all sorting through loops in the same way. This is just my take...

I feel like so many of our human brothers and sisters are sitting on the ledge of a 20 story building, dangerously drunk and oblivious to the reality right behind them. I'm not judging; I'm not getting a martyr complex and thinking I can change the world: I am merely OBSERVING, and my intuition is feeling a big, "OH, SHIT!" for all of us.

And then some volcanoes erupted.

The other thing that comes to mind is that these series of events are ways of exposing an extremely subconscious script of lies I've fed to myself to use as crutches for dealing with a brutal reality. "Out of the frying pan, into the fire." Ever have the experience of telling yourself something just to get by? It's like I find myself in places, and think, "Well, at least there is no X here." And then a new situation was purposely constructed to prove me wrong, force me to think differently, and reexamine my behavior until I accept the fact I need to dump massive behavioral scripts altogether to truly grow as a person.

For example, working. Am I going to spent the rest of my life drifting from shitty job to shitty job, telling myself the present one isn't so awful or so unfulfilling, because blah blah blah blah blah... or... what? What I TRULY NEED is a society with a completely different structure. But that's such a huge leap. Tolerably shitty jobs at least put a roof over my head and give me enough free time to persue my work with the molecule--only to be chastized by the molecule for working shitty jobs and settling to live as a secret drug user in an unsustainable society, compromising the true beauty of my spirit.

SO WTF?

I know I am going for a ride and there is definitely a destination: I have total faith in my path, so it's not like I'm down and out and in a panic. Just observing... and watching intense pressure build... The pressure is in me... It is in everyone... It is rising...
Click to expand...

Im there too, going in circles, shedding more and more. But i have never felt more at peace. The river is never the same :)

About psychedelics, im thinking they are working as some sort of catalyst. And also online communities, or internet in general, is facilitating new forms of collective behaviour and consciousness. It is evolution in progress. And we are becoming aware of it. As a 4th point of reference. Just some thoughts im playing with.. never mind me rambling :)
 
Thank you for this wonderful thread! All I have to say is that the future is now. We are on the brink of entering a new age of enlightenment and a love force stronger than ever. Skeptics may laugh as much as they would like, but remember that the one who laughs last laughs best. ;)
 
I don't know. I don't think psychedlics have anyting to do with it. We have been staring into the greatest change in our time for 15 years now, Teh Interwebs.

The Web will remain the single biggest change that we know in our lives, this I am certain of.

50 years ago people entered a new age of englightenment, the 60's and LSD. A post-war era of a new kind of social awareness and the breaking down of white picket fences. The hippies must have thought the sky was going to fall on our heads, or that we were going to fly off into it.

When we discovered LSD in the late 80's and early 90's we though the same thing.

Then we discovered Ecstasy in the very early 90's and well, we thought this had to be the single biggest thing that ever happened, this was really going to save mankind. We loved eachother, this had to be the new way...

But life on the planet goes on...

How many times was the rapture supposed to happen. All factions are constantly banging on about how we are doomed, destined to be sucked in by a black hole, swept away by the baby jesus, killed by a volcano, a hurricane, a tsunami, the moon is drifting away, the end of the Mayan calendar... we're all fucked, fucked I tells you, fucked.

Progress is like a breathing organism. It comes in waves, as one side dips the other rises. As our financial model crumbles, so we become aware of other ways, different things that are important to us. Necessity being the mother of invention, and all. As our current frontier goes off into decline, a different part of our landscape rises.

What goes down pops up somewhere else.

Things are always in a state of flux and nothing is constant but change. I don't know what kind of cataclysmic change you are all expecting, but I don't see it coming. I do see a lot more people living under bridges, but there's nothing enlightening about poverty.

I see a lot of people losing the plot too. There's nothing englightening about losing the plot.

A fish will not swim upstream and kill itself trying to conquer the rocks by constantly smashing into them, if it does it will float limp and lifeless downstream. Instead it takes note of the flow of its existence and the obstacles causing a current as a result of the flow and it smartly uses that flow to swim efficiently around.

It is not aware of the world outside of its flow.

When the fisherman comes along, catches it, kills it and eats it, shits it out and sends it back into the river, it still has no idea.

So, we will carry on living our little lives, unaware of what is really beyond our maelstrom of existence.

Maybe we're just alien food. Maybe they like us happy just like we like happy free-range cows because we think that happy cow tastes better. To get back on track, things happen quickly but no quicker or more frequent than before. As someone mentioned earlier, news just travels faster.

There has always been a sense of pending doom.
 
I don't think anyone here is really talking about some kind of doom. We are talking about changes, interesting changes going on. Now, as I stated earlier changes happen all the time and it is probably not anything special about these times if I am to step a little bit out of my intuition and try to be perfectly rational and sane.

But to take a few examples of some of the shit that is going on these days: Obama, health reform, amazing new shit happening/beginning at CERN, Volcanoes, hurricanes, tsunamies, earthquakes, more psychedelic research, more psychedelic documenteries, more global awareness, internet spreads like a fast virus across the whole damn globe, we watch further out into space now than ever (and still continuing to do so). Look at the population growth. Look at the timeline, it is not long ago we had the industrial revolution. Globalization. Look at the technological advances, it is fucking blowing up. If this is anything but totally fucking nuts if we look at our history then I do not know what kind of rock you're living under. I betcha we could list up lots of more stuff that is going on these days, or that has been going on the last 100 years.

These are VERY exciting times. I can't see ANYWHERE in history that resembles this crazyness we're witnessing now. Go back 1000 years and show em what we have now and we would be thought of as nothing less than Gods by these people. 100 years ago people stared at the moon, thinking in their wildest dreams that we would come up there. Today it is no big deal, it is taken for granted. This is what we're talking about, and this shit is NOT slowing down.

I am not trying to say anything for sure, I just like to spin my head around this. And no, I am NOT advocating some 2012 bullshit. I am just discussing the times =)
 
It's all relative. What I was saying was that 10 years ago was exciting, 20 years ago was exciting, 50 years ago was exciting. The reformation was exciting, the rennaisance was exciting, the industrial revolution was exciting. Can you imagine there was a time when thinking the Earth revolved around the sun would get you burned, now those were exciting times, what about the first telescopes to see the moon? What about the first monkey man who discovered fire?

I would trade his excitement for the Obamarama any day.

I could go on.

What I am trying to say is, it has most likely always been exciting, we just think we're living at the pinnacle and climax of our history, we think we're surfing the the crest of the wave of humanity and it's about to come crashing down, because we think we're it.
 
ghostman said:
What I am trying to say is, it has most likely always been exciting, we just think we're living at the pinnacle and climax of our history, we think we're surfing the the crest of the wave of humanity and it's about to come crashing down, because we think we're it.
Click to expand...
Presto!
 
I thought the same thing ghostman, and stated it in my first post. But dude, the further we go into history, into the future, the further the timeline of humanity is drawn, the crazier it gets if you ask me. And we are surfing the crest right now, because it is NOW and now is all there is. Everyone has always been surfing the crest of humanity in all times. But put all of this into a historic perspective (this is also one of the treats of our times, great detailed history and easy means to achieve the knowledge) and for me it is obvious that what we got now is crazier than what was, and that it is still progressing like a cannon faster and faster unless we blow our nuclear weapons up and make the earth disappear from the galactic map or something.

For me it is all about putting it into historic perspective. Look around now, look back at our timeline. Can you seriously not see the differences? I mentioned a few; Massive population growth in a short timespan. Massive technological advances in a very short timespan. Globalization. Industrial revolution. Sure it was exciting when the monkeys found fire, but what about when the monkeys landed on the moon? What about what the monkeys have done in 50 years form now? It is called progression, and shit is moving forward at a faster rate the further we go into history, because we build upon what we already have achieved.

All I am saying, and this is just my opinion, is that this wave we're riding is getting bigger and bigger put in comparison with the wave we were riding 100, 200, 500, 1000 years ago. Because we get more and more as we go, and faster and faster we get it. Stopping up for a minute now I am not sure what I am trying to say to you. Just that these times are very exciting (as all times, but put into the timeline of our species shit is getting weirder and more incredible nearly everyday now than they were, let's say 1000 years ago). It's like starting with a snowball and rolling it down the hill. It gets bigger and faster. This is us.

So let's just end my post with saying that I am not talking about some kind of fancy 2012 prophecies, or something to that effect. Just simply stating that our advancement and progression is of great excitenment (which is, dah-ah, not exactly anything new) :p And that I guess I agree with you
 
Thanks for sharing your inner thoughts and intuitions. I can relate myself in many ways, but I do not think it is only due to psychedelics.

I too lately have had this sense of pressure building. I began to feel it a little over a year ago, and it comes in waves of varying degrees of intensity. It is hard to explain, but a few here have done a pretty good job...it is a sense of energy flowing, something just beneath the surface. It can be disconcerting at times, you may feel on the verge of insanity.Patterns repeat themselves in the interactions you have, lessons are presented to you clearly for you to learn from until you get it. Thoughts create form, and one must learn to detach themselves from negative thought forms, to recognize them when they appear and then switch to a more balanced perspective. Things are speeding up and the shedding continues.

Instant Karma...

Energy has been buliding for the last month or so. The earthquakes and volcanoes are no suprise. Transition is being forced upon us, requiring us to look at ourselves. We've come farther in he last 10 years than we have in the previous 2000+, and it only keeps speeding up. May you live in interesting times...well we are living through the most interesting times in the known history of our species.

We are on the verge of something wonderous. Being pulled rather than pushed toward an evolutionary leap unlike anything we can imagine.

Can you feel it? It's not rational, it's intuitive.
 
I've also felt this underlying pressure building for the last 2 years or so. Its getting to the point where its almost tangible. A lot of synchronicites have been building up to the point where i cant logically deny them anymore. They also have been coming through people in my life, through their dreams and things that happen to them day to day, that directly relate to my internal world.

Things also seemed to ramp up more after my first intense pharma journey. All my burning questions that have been sloshing around in my brain for years were somehow answered that night.
 
well..everything material about my life is a fucking mess right now..my shit is a mess..

I wish I could afford to just go out there make a living out of trying to change the world..but I cant..Ive never been so materialistically poor..and I cant seem to find more work..

I have all this love I want to give to to other people..But at the same time I hate what Im doing..and I cant really show others what real love is until Im 100% happy with MY situation..

Certain things that have come up in my life have made me realize what its really like when Im happy..things that I remember I want in life..and the ammount of time that I spend here really is just working against that.

Ive become too content with my own broke-down scene, but realized that there is no way I can climb up from that place and do what I really want to do unless I make some changes.

I feel week and Im not sure whether to laugh or cry about it..neither will help me though.

None of this has to do with psychedelics either..that would be great since it would be so easy..Im too idealistic..the only real problem I had with substances was with cannabis..and since thats gone I dont feel that psychedelics get in the way of my life at all..its more my own reluctance to take part in things that I just find "ugly"..I idealize about a truely beautiful place..that I need to realize wont ever exist without going out into that uglyness and putting in real work..something never comes from nothing.
 
fractal enchantment said:
well..everything material about my life is a fucking mess right now..my shit is a mess..

I wish I could afford to just go out there make a living out of trying to change the world..but I cant..Ive never been so materialistically poor..and I cant seem to find more work..

I have all this love I want to give to to other people..But at the same time I hate what Im doing..and I cant really show others what real love is until Im 100% happy with MY situation..

Certain things that have come up in my life have made me realize what its really like when Im happy..things that I remember I want in life..and the ammount of time that I spend here really is just working against that.

Ive become too content with my own broke-down scene, but realized that there is no way I can climb up from that place and do what I really want to do unless I make some changes.

I feel week and Im not sure whether to laugh or cry about it..neither will help me though.

None of this has to do with psychedelics either..that would be great since it would be so easy..Im too idealistic..the only real problem I had with substances was with cannabis..and since thats gone I dont feel that psychedelics get in the way of my life at all..its more my own reluctance to take part in things that I just find "ugly"..I idealize about a truely beautiful place..that I need to realize wont ever exist without going out into that uglyness and putting in real work..something never comes from nothing.
Click to expand...

Get your plan together FE.
and be 8)
 
Stuff happening faster? Sure. time is logarithmic. Our perception of it, anyhow. But this does not presuppose wholesale destruction or revolution. Could that feeling of imminent change be a change that is about to happen within yourself?

'There is only now'. ... you know, recently I have come to believe that this is only true in the sense that we can ordinarily perceive and experience 'only now'.

But I believe there is more than 'only now'; Time is the key to this mystery; our perception of it, our experience of it. Time is the forgotten dimension.
 
Nah. I don't feel any of that stuff. You guys (and gals) need to let me know when the big thing is about to happen, 'cause I'm just not picking up the signal.

Either that or I'll come visit you all when you finish losing your minds.

Pokey the Heretic
 
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