When “they” kick you out

[Jennyfromtherock]

I’m no longer welcome in the realm.. I knew it the last time I did it.. but my stubborn ass chose to do it again .. because I don t really understand why I’m not welcome anymore to congregate.
I am confirming.. when they dismiss you they mean it.. you’re mindset doesn’t matter… makes me wonder why. I took one hit and it was bleak, motionless and kinda ugly.. I wasn’t afraid but for a minute I thought I was going to view the world forever like it was for that short time .. but now I know for sure that my journey with DMT has ended but my travels along way will always be treasured.

 

[Nydex]

I'm sorry to hear that. What experiences led to you feeling kicked out? Did you have a series of negative trips up to this point? Did you go in your recent experiences with an unsuitable mindset or intentions? Or was it, as far as you can tell, unwarranted or seemingly "random"?

 

[TransistorBass]

I'm not going as deep as some people but I've been doing fairly extended low dose sessions, after a certain point the colourful visuals turn to beautiful blacks and greys with all the same patterns but on a very subtle colour palette, I then get a burst or release of colour when I either have a personal realisation or an outpouring of emotion. (These are mostly my Harmalas+NN DMT sessions)

Maybe you need a bit of a release??

 

[Jennyfromtherock]

I only did small doses , I could break though and felt amazing. It was when I was outside during the day when looking at the sky. I heard a loud pop, it startled me and I thought I had died and went to heaven. I felt completely out of my body. I walked inside my house to look for my body and many entities were there telling me I was done . As if I were in a meeting getting fired. Then I attempted to try it again last night. It was definitely confirmed I was not allowed in. I also got a feeling that if I tried it again I’d be stuck there .. a place of nothingness. Difficult to explain but the message was very clear.

 

[universecannon]

I've had many experiences that felt similar (though who can truly say for sure how any two subjective experiences really compare). Personally I've found that with integration and relaxation it's still possible to get deeper, and the idea of being "locked out" is just a fear based facet of the ego resisting the transition to much deeper states where it is forced into the back seat.

From the egos perspective, releasing dominance into a more right brain state can often be feared/perceived as a sort of death at first (hence the universal ancient traditions of symbolic death/rebirth of the individual self into a more cosmically resonant sense of self).

With practice I've found it gets easier to recognize that initial fear reaction merely as a good sign that things are getting deeper, and relaxing into it blossoms the experience. But sometimes that's easier said than done. I find quartz singing bowls help a lot here.

 

[Jennyfromtherock]

In the beginning I want to say phase 1-
I was just exploring .. I was in my bed at night and the instructions were to take 3 hits and hold for as long as possible. I did 2 hits and mainly kept my eyes closed.. seeing swirls of colors, tunnels, rooms with very specific male and female entities.. also saw the tall man with the hat .. he was pointing to me to go down the stairs to another room. I was so engulfed in the experience .. it took me a few days to remember what I could.. I journaled it , meditated, then before I did another hit I focused on my questions because it’s so intriguing.
I did this a few times with small doses and every time I’d travel I was back to where I left off.
Then there was stage 2- when the orange lady told me to go outside and kept my eyes open . That was my favorite

 

[Jennyfromtherock]

Maybe I was dismissed because I was doing it for answers.. all of this is real and no one can convince me otherwise. It consumed my being. Also I have a black cat.. this part was wild.. I saw 2 of her.. with geometric shapes of a box around her.. literally my cat was spinning around on my patio and she couldn’t get out.. then I saw another cat like a shadow leave her .. it was disruptive. I had to go pick her up. Then that’s when I saw .. so many hummingbirds and the trees were showing me that they were male or female and several dogs in my area were all barking at once.