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Why DMT Scares Me
- Thread starter Voidmatrix
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My wife didn't have the decade of McKenna influence on her thinking that I have, and once put it very succinctly after I felt our more recent sessions were partly contradicting my own (tentative) models of these states at the time.
To paraphrase her: If psychedelics opened our senses to some kind of non-local quantum dimension of entities/beings/aliens etc. (or whatever flavor of that model), don't you think we'd first experience - and probably need to learn to navigate - the quantum levels and dynamics of our own brain, perception, and immediate environment, before going even deeper and into another parallel dimension altogether? That really made me think.
I don't want to debate of course, since who knows at the end of the day, but I felt it's worth mentioning because I have never seen that question be raised before. My view of it isn't solid and varies, but I don't think the dichotomy between inside and outside (or external beings vs. just being in the mind or some mix of that) are the only two possibilities (not saying you think that), but unfortunately they're just about the only two that get considered.
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Is your wife a member? I want to talk to her now. Jk lmao.
Anyway, I kind of agree with this. Part of my approach is to better understand myself to better understand the space and better hold a sustain presence in the space instead of grasping and white-knuckling. So, I am still at a granular level, though am deepening. It's time.
I've noticed this too and think it might be because the other possibilities are harder to put in words that can be understood through the same magnitude of consensus as the inner vs outer relation seems to. Since I write and share to connect, I have to pick and choose how I present ideas so as to be understood to some degree. The possibilities seem a bit limitless, and while I consciously hold that, it's hard for my system to.
One love
A Paddle?
Do i need to start self flagellation? Maybe it will quiet my mind but the slapping sounds may disturb the neighbors !!
My safe word is Hostilis!
Do i need to start self flagellation? Maybe it will quiet my mind but the slapping sounds may disturb the neighbors !!
My safe word is Hostilis!
My visions in the space have all but disappeared, and I worried about that for years. Reflecting back, some force made it so that I pay closer attention to my own inner space before venturing farther. And for better or worse, that's my focus. Now I don't really know where inner ends and outer begins. Maybe there is no real border apart from an imaginary one that we create. So entities could be both out there and inside. It all plays out in our minds, and our conception of what the mind is is constantly evolving.
I feel that a focus on outer visions is quite misleading. It just captures our attention similar to how vision in general captures us. So I try to see where the whole scene is happening and who is seeing it. If anything, it's liberating and creates a space where thoughts are just objects. Most likely, I need to get into meditation for real. It's all leading in that direction. Medicine sessions are like a hack that provides the space and contrast to sense it all better. Yet, that capacity is a part of us. I feel training attention is where it's all at. It's like creating a skill that will allow you to use your mind as a laboratory. You need the right conditions for a proper penetration of your psyche. So if one wants to go beyond psychotherapy, some inner capacity should be developed. That's my conclusion after years of oral brews.
For instance, when I started to sing kirtan (basically mantra repetition), my whole psychology changed. Sure, most likely all the years when I just drank my brews were kind of maturing me, but still. When you apply a tool that works for you, it all speeds up considerably. So finding what fits you, being curious, and being open will lead far. For me, psychedelics are like a preliminary practice on the spiritual path. I don't see them leading you all the way, but they are a tool that can help create a foundation. Without psychedelics, it would take me a lifetime to just clear my family trauma. Now, I'm interested in what lies beyond my personality and conditioning. It's as if my character just matures by itself; it's a natural process. The aim has shifted towards something I don't know. I can't even really say my direction apart from general pointers like space, love, and god. I have no idea what these words mean.
So yeah, talk with yourself, but see who's talking. Where is this talking taking place, and so on? Maybe it'll spark a curiosity in you, too. Entities are fascinating, but what are they apart from your mind? Like they say in wisdom traditions, the mind and what it experiences are not separate. It's a pure mystery, and the main thing keeping me alive. No matter the hardships in life, it's all just too marvelous to lose. We'll all get there, whatever that means, no matter what we want. Still, going deeper consciously is much healthier. Even if you know nothing, it gives authority. Maybe not knowing is the ultimate knowing. That's one of the reasons my psyche relaxed a bit. Northape is one more story in the mind, nothing more.
