Why DMT Scares Me

[Transform]

Still, an ant has (I assume?) no idea what is really [going] on. Why should we?

Even without the help of psychedelics I've little if any idea what's going on. I do find watching ants to be very calming for some reason, however.

 

[Jamie01]

I have been fairly convinced at times that insectoids really do exist. At least it is one phenomenon that is seems to reliably manifest given enough ppl take DMT or psilocybin. I just don’t know what to do with that. I don’t really get jesters, or brings that try to lock me out etc…but insectoids yeah I get those trips.

 

[ommani]

I communicate with a dead great great grandmother from Ukraine on tryptamines…

@Jamie01 why you gotta bring my great great Ukrainian grandmother into this conversation?! She was part Romani, which means I have Indian ancestry (y’all better recognize). She also taught herbalism to one of her son’s who went on to become a well known, Soviet Russian herbalist, and was harassed by the KGB (real talk). I actually do wish that I could communicate with her, somehow, but the primary effect I experience with psychedelics is ego dissolution… contacting my ancestors has never been my experience, though I presume it can happen, in some sense, particularly in traditional contexts.

 

[Jamie01]

I haven’t experienced any other sort of ancestor contact either. Just this one lady and she lives in a tree house in a forest that exists somewhere in hyperspace. A lovely Asian man taught me how to find her once in an ayahuasca vision. He said “ follow me” or something and ran off through the woods singing icaro type songs and the music would open portals we ran through. He even ran right up a tree and I followed through a portal in the tree tops. So this is how I found this lady that lives in a tree that eats sins. The name she told me does actually translate to my great great Ukrainian grandmothers name…I mean loosely.

None of these things happen in a sequence that makes sense though. I’m sort of all over the place in my head when I’m tripping in a visionary space like that. It’s all jumbled like a dream. It’s too easy when writing trip reports to want to organize it into a narrative that makes sense. It’s one reason why I hate writing reports and never do anymore. It always feels like I’m watching gold turn to coal dust putting it in words.

 

[ommani]

I haven’t experienced any other sort of ancestor contact either. Just this one lady and she lives in a tree house in a forest that exists somewhere in hyperspace. A lovely Asian man taught me how to find her once in an ayahuasca vision. He said “ follow me” or something and ran off through the woods singing icaro type songs and the music would open portals we ran through. He even ran right up a tree and I followed through a portal in the tree tops. So this is how I found this lady that lives in a tree that eats sins. The name she told me does actually translate to my great great Ukrainian grandmothers name…I mean loosely.

None of these things happen in a sequence that makes sense though. I’m sort of all over the place in my head when I’m tripping in a visionary space like that. It’s all jumbled like a dream. It’s too easy when writing trip reports to want to organize it into a narrative that makes sense. It’s one reason why I hate writing reports and never do anymore. It always feels like I’m watching gold turn to coal dust putting it in words.

Wow that sounds incredible. Anytime the intensity has ramped up for me on psychedelics, I have typically felt like I was going insane, and couldn’t relax into it. I feel like I haven’t tripped enough, though I’ve actually tripped a lot, over the years, just mostly at low to moderate doses.

It’s also wild that we both have great great Ukrainian grandmothers (I thought you were making a reference to my facetious post in a different thread). It truly is a small world…

 

[Jamie01]

It’s not necessarily about intensity. It’s about laying down in the dark getting very comfortable with the right music and maybe also getting real stoned while peaking. You have to find the state where you are dream tripping, and then let your mind run wild. I think I also have hyperphantasia and can/do hallucinate easily even without psychs anyway.

 

[blig-blug]

Most likely we are like ants. An ants experience is true to the ant. It lives the life of an ant. Still, an ant has (I assume?) no idea what is really on. Why should we? We are not much bigger than ants in the grand scale.

 

[TransistorBass]

It's great to remain open minded but - and I'm not calling out you or specific people here - if I'm honest, I think a decent amount of folks in the DMT community downplay how much they actually lean towards this interpretation or that interpretation (which is understandable, because a lot of it sounds crazy either way you slice it). A lot of people claim neutral skepticism on the one hand and then act quite frequently as if this or that view is likely true.

I hope this reads as me drawing a parallel with a different subject matter:

I really enjoy watching some Alien Conspiracy stuff, and yeah there must be something out there, but I always fall back on the bit about seeing it with my own eyes.... when I see it I'll believe it. Though some say you have to believe it to see it. So maybe I'm blindfolded by my reality, though open to the possibility of new realities should they show themselves.
The frequently bandied about term 'Ontological Shock' gets used everywhere, though I'm not sure if it's going to be a shock or more of a gradual realisation, surely it's mostly religions that would feel the most shock to their beliefs should a non-human intelligence pop up and say Hi.

 

[Jamie01]

I think you just gotta see it to believe it, and that requires being at the right place at the right time. People who don’t believe see these strange crafts all the time. I once saw a “UFO”…only once. No idea what it really was. Personally I think there is other life out there, the US(and other) gov knows about it and that’s why we now have space force.

 

[Voidmatrix]

After careful and long reflection, I think this might be it for me in this thread. While I wanted to talk about something that is familiar to all of us with regard to this molecule, I am not very fond at the moment of how I have shaped this thread. It became more of a chamber for me to vent, whine, and revisit the same elements of this over and over again. I feel a bit of shame. I feel a bit of embarrassment.

This is okay for me to feel these things because they are cues. My work is self-love, self-acceptance, and self-trust, that's what we have been orbiting around the entire time, it was just hard for me to see it. And so, by accepting myself where I am as I am, I can love myself a bit more and trust myself a bit more, and it's a process to go over again and again, allowing nuanced changes to creep in.

I thank everyone for their contributions, support, insights, authenticity, and honesty. It's been a truly a beautiful treasure.

Anyone and everyone can still keep having fun here, but I will likely not post in this thread anymore, and if I do, it will be in a very different spirit from how I have posted in this thread in the past.



One love

 

[WallyG]

I'm not insinuating that I think it's "all in our heads", I suspect it's more nuanced than that (not saying you interpreted me this way but I wanted to clarify regardless). I was speaking more towards the stereotypical DMT alien hyperspace interpretation.

I think you were quite clear, and I agree with you that the stereotypical interpretation is misleading. I am personally convinced that we connect to something outside our physical selves, but we're not capable of understanding it using our conscious thought processes. So our brains fall back on archetypal interpretations with alien beings etc. but that's not a true description.
And maybe @northape would be right that it's just different aspects of the one entity that is all of us. I'd like to think so.