Why DMT Scares Me

[Voidmatrix]

Voidmatrix said:
channeling the Ase (Silent R)


Channel that Arse, Channel it! Do it, Have it, Take it, Channel that Arse! *I say these words with love and kindness haha*
Sorry, must have slipped into P0rn 5tar mode!

Glad you admitted it on my behalf, allowing me to maintain decorum for once. It is rather too obvious to the British schoolboy sense of humour, after all.

Àṣẹ (pronounced ah-shay) is a foundational Yoruba concept representing the divine power, energy, and authority to make things happen, manifest, and create reality. It is considered the spiritual life force that flows through all things—humans, nature, and words—enabling change and bringing balance. It is often used as "so be it" or "amen."
Wikipedia +4
Key Aspects of Àṣẹ:

• Power of Manifestation:
  It is the capacity to bring desires into existence through spoken words, prayers, or intentions.
  • Divine Force: Originating from Olodumare (the Supreme Creator), this energy is present in gods, ancestors, people, animals, and objects.
  • Spiritual Affirmation: Used frequently in ceremonies and daily life, saying "Àṣẹ" seals a prayer or statement, validating its truth and ensuring its fulfillment.
  • Alternative Spellings: It is commonly spelled as Ashe, Axe (Brazil), or Aché (Cuba) in the African diaspora.
    Instagram +5

Essentially, it is the energy that makes life happen and activates existence.

One love

 

[Voidmatrix]

This is exactly why the thread exists and exactly why its necessary. We all regardless of our experience or intentions have fear or anxiety or some form of negative self talk or thought around the use of DMT. I in fact last night prepared my body and mind and sat outside in my Puja room and just reflected on this very thread and discussion and never partook. Just as @Jamie01 and @Voidmatrix have mentioned the headwinds we all face when using this molecule, it is a shared struggle and healthy tug of war. I am glad we all agree that this is worth continuing and adding value, throughout my whole life in any part of it the knowledge that my struggle was not unique and that others have and are facing similar ones has always brought me relief and renewed purpose. I hope yours is renewed and reinvigorated.
Y

Okay, okay, okay, we'll keep it going.

@Jamie01 mentioned it somewhat, and I did too in passing, but I want to be explicit because of what you shared. In my mind, I don't think that everyone has this same trepidation, but enough of us do that I don't have to judge myself for it (which is funny because there would be no judgment on anyone else either, just me). And that's hard not to do, but it's a symptom. Why be hard on myself for doing something that is subjectively hard for me and intersubjectively hard for many? So that's a process I can work.

I've been making a point to consciously talk out loud to myself. I brought this idea into the space today when I got home from work. I had around 10mg loaded in my vape, and I started talking to myself as I set up the space. "I feel fear, I feel scared. It's normal. You're okay, you've got this. There's no pressure here, you don't even have to finish the dose. You want this and more visual experiences, you've done this before, and last time was good and so was the time before that." Then I read a journal entry that I had written earlier today out loud, feeling ready for my dose after. I just stayed in the moment as I took my hits. I did end up finishing it, and it was mildly visual. Part of the reason that it wasn't more visual was because of how long it took me to get the full dose in. I am experimenting with the temp settings, and on three it seems to vape doses more efficiently, but the process is more precarious. Setting four I am confident burns some, but the firing process is a bit easier and more reliable. I had it on setting three.

I plan on doing this more often. Connecting the bridge between myself and myself.

One love

 

[WallyG]

I feel fear, I feel scared. It's normal.

I feel fear too, but less than I used to. I now tell myself that I only have to have one inhalation and I can stop there if I want. Sometimes I do. If it's a long inhale (I'm using a vape pen) then the effect is strong enough to produce some reasonable effects and it's just pleasant. At any point after exhaling, I can do another if I wish. Frequently after a few seconds I do. Sometimes after a minute. It all depends how I feel at the time. Sometimes, I choose to to take a third inhale and that's generally enough for things to go wild.

The milder trips can be very pleasant and surprisingly powerful with a bit of energy work. For me this has given the feeling of control and so reduced pre-trip anxiety.

 

[Jamie01]

A friend once hooked up with guy she just met at a festival. The guy ended up at our camp. He was pretty confident and relaxed talking about all the cool drugs he liked to take. He seemed pretty serious but was obviously bragging for whatever reason. People try to compensate for things in all sorts of ways I guess. He was a nice enough guy. When he sat there and ate a whole 10 strip I was like wow this guy isn’t kidding.

I’m pretty sure that was the first and def last time he did that. The guy totally freaked out and broke down crying. It was clear he was not used to or comfortable tripping like that.

Maybe he did do it again though, I can’t say.

I’ve never been able to dose myself like that. People who can take huge doses of psychedelics(esp oral) and keep it together are interesting. Are there any of you out there? How do you approach it? How the hell do you relax into it? 3 hits of acid was so overwhelming at times I can’t imagine 10.

5-Me0-DMT really freaked me out. I got rid of it after I vaped 7mg and got super confused and maybe terrified coming back. I had a lot of trouble once I realized I was this thing but I didn’t quite know what the thing was. I’ve experienced this feeling on salvia as well. It triggers deep anxiety and I freak out. It feels like suddenly I need to fight to survive.

 

[universecannon]

I had a lot of trouble once I realized I was this thing but I didn’t quite know what the thing was. I’ve experienced this feeling on salvia as well

Oh man that was one of my least favorite things about salvia. Happened to me everytime. Very weirded out and confused by this whole person gig, and felt like each moment of my life was set like a page in a book I couldn't escape. And that was just the normal comedown

 

[yatyas314]

Okay, okay, okay, we'll keep it going.

In my mind, I don't think that everyone has this same trepidation, but enough of us do that I don't have to judge myself for it. And that's hard not to do, but it's a symptom. Why be hard on myself for doing something that is subjectively hard for me and intersubjectively hard for many? So that's a process I can work.

Great news, I really do like the banter here and because I only know 1 person locally that does DMT and the Nexus has become essentially the only place I post in. The trepidation or apprehension that I feel is because I have not gotten to a place where I like my medicine in any other way than blow my hair back and hold on. Over the last few months I have had the most mind blowing eye opening perspective shifting experiences at least since my kids were born and prior to that my military service. And for me that is the goal and it is scary looking down the barrel of the GVG or the Cylo or both. But for me that is the point and thank god there is a thread where I can post about it.
Y

I’ve never been able to dose myself like that. People who can take huge doses of psychedelics(esp oral) and keep it together are interesting. Are there any of you out there? How do you approach it? How the hell do you relax into it? 3 hits of acid was so overwhelming at times I can’t imagine 10.

I have only ever done Psilocybin and DMT (ketamine 1 time) and the way I was introduced was started with Micro doses every 3rd day and once a month do a Macro dose and lots of integration. That schedule evolved into no microdoses and huge Macro doses every 2 months for 18-24 months. I learned about DMT and my 1 wizard friend showed me how to extract and have never looked back. The only way to approach the high doses in my experience is to really understand what you are doing and taking part of, then prepare the medicine take the medicine and go lay down and let it find its way into all of your cells and take what comes. sometimes it's not relaxing at all, sometimes I found comfort in my surroundings (pillows or blankets) A lot has to do with your preparation of your body and dose matters as well. @Jamie01 just message me if you want more info, I am happy to share.
Y

 

[Voidmatrix]

I’ve never been able to dose myself like that. People who can take huge doses of psychedelics(esp oral) and keep it together are interesting. Are there any of you out there? How do you approach it? How the hell do you relax into it? 3 hits of acid was so overwhelming at times I can’t imagine

To an extent, this used to be me. For a few years, I wouldn't eat any less than a quarter of mushrooms. Even my first time. And I would function fine, even out in public. I've seen this capacity since the days I was more comfortable moving myself into psychedelic experience, but the connection to confidence is lacking nowadays.

Great news, I really do like the banter here and because I only know 1 person locally that does DMT and the Nexus has become essentially the only place I post in. The trepidation or apprehension that I feel is because I have not gotten to a place where I like my medicine in any other way than blow my hair back and hold on. Over the last few months I have had the most mind blowing eye opening perspective shifting experiences at least since my kids were born and prior to that my military service. And for me that is the goal and it is scary looking down the barrel of the GVG or the Cylo or both. But for me that is the point and thank god there is a thread where I can post about it.

Keep your experiences coming.

Something to note relative to the thread topic. I still find myself providing reasons and justifications for doing all this. Who am I justifying anything to? It's framed as some hypothetical authority. There's nothing to justify. I withdraw power from the question. It's an inner inhibition that reflects something else.

One love

 

[TransistorBass]

I don't know your age but we all get a bit more cautious as we age, I'd never dream of taking the amounts of drugs I used to take on a Club night, and honestly I think in my early 50's I probably wouldn't slam a load of E's back, do some Speed, have a line and smoke a stupid amount of Weed in a pipe I just prefer a more mellow life.

Anticipation of most things is far worse than the actual activity, years back I did 2x Bungy Jumps and a Canyon Swing in Queenstown NZ all in 1 day, I felt like I'd been in a car crash afterwards, I'd still be happy to step off at those heights now..... or at least I hope I would, I've mostly been good at doing the hard thing / committing to it, I've paid the money so I'm damn well taking the ride! But the build up to stepping off is the most scary part, freefall is easy.

I was def the one among my friends groups that would be happy to go order food from a Takeaway when the others were too stoned to do it, the sort of 'F*** it' attitude.

Self-administered DMT, its all self-actuated, you are the ride, you are the controller, you are the safety harness, you are the one that steps off no one is going to let go of you so you don't have to make the choice. It's a mega personal experience, it would be lovely to have a guide sometime or a fellow traveler to step-off with.

 

[Voidmatrix]

I don't know your age but we all get a bit more cautious as we age, I'd never dream of taking the amounts of drugs I used to take on a Club night, and honestly I think in my early 50's I probably wouldn't slam a load of E's back, do some Speed, have a line and smoke a stupid amount of Weed in a pipe I just prefer a more mellow life.

I am 37. I don't really want to do those things either, but I stopped wanting to do that in my mid-twenties. I feel like I got a lil wild in college because I never got any opportunity in high school. While there are plenty of drugs I don't want to do, I would like to be more comfortable meandering the depths of psychedelics as I once did before getting wise to it lol.

Self-administered DMT, its all self-actuated, you are the ride, you are the controller, you are the safety harness, you are the one that steps off no one is going to let go of you so you don't have to make the choice. It's a mega personal experience, it would be lovely to have a guide sometime or a fellow traveler to step-off with.

While I feel like we shouldn't neglect the potential intelligence and power of the medicine, your statements only brighten the light on what my work is right now.

That said, I have low dosed some amount of DMT or changa three times today

One love

 

[ommani]

I would like to be more comfortable meandering the depths of psychedelics as I once did before getting wise to it

You and me, both. I’d say at this point, tripmaxxxxxing is what it’s all about!

 

[Jamie01]

Ketamine. Who needs fear?

 

[TransistorBass]

That said, I have low dosed some amount of DMT or changa three times today

I am beginning to think this is more sensible than it sounds, at the moment for me as DMT enters my system I am going through body shakes, yes sometimes the temperature of my room is wrong but even when its hot as heck I get shakes.

So I'm thinking a sensible protocol for me might be the same, take a toke or two in the morning, maybe one in the afternoon, hits spread out so when i finally decide to settle down for a proper session my body had got over whatever is causing these shakes.

Or do I need to go in deeper on that first hit and just Step off?!

 

[Voidmatrix]

I am beginning to think this is more sensible than it sounds, at the moment for me as DMT enters my system I am going through body shakes, yes sometimes the temperature of my room is wrong but even when its hot as heck I get shakes.

So I'm thinking a sensible protocol for me might be the same, take a toke or two in the morning, maybe one in the afternoon, hits spread out so when i finally decide to settle down for a proper session my body had got over whatever is causing these shakes.

Or do I need to go in deeper on that first hit and just Step off?!

The shaking is very likely a somatic processing and type of purge. Lean in an let your body take care of you and feel great after. And don't be shy, let it get real big! I shake pretty often (I just did).

One love

 

[Voidmatrix]

Have I mentioned I am neurotic? I must've.

I recently learned not to use lidocaine patches with a heating pad. I found by doing it and becoming altered. Not altered in a bad way, it felt good, but my mind doesn't recognize that, my subconscious mind specifically. Instead, I began worrying, wondering if I screwed myself up, while having a more balanced part attempting to chill out the worrier. I even texted a nursing friend.

This type of experience happens with so many things.

DMT puts my neuroticisn right in my face is what I am noticing. Like the triggering from just thinking about it... And what it helps with is working the edge of my neuroticism, effectively getting me to wax on wax off with the process. Slowly eroding it away and replacing it with confidence.

That said, I met myself and my neuroticism nice and early this morning before getting out of bed (13mg).

One love

 

[Transform]

Ketamine. Who needs fear?

or dignity, or a bladder?

 

[Jamie01]

Right?

 

[TransistorBass]

The shaking is very likely a somatic processing and type of purge. Lean in an let your body take care of you and feel great after. And don't be shy, let it get real big! I shake pretty often (I just did).

One love

I did have a specific session where I set myself up with the intention to move around while under the influence, it was a bit weird but I thought it may help with the shakes which I guess it kinda did.
I had a little during my Yoga this evening and I can feel the shudder but its masked by also getting a nice stretch in.

Honestly, I think I need to stop teetering on the edge and go deeper faster!

 

[Voidmatrix]

Have you heard of the book The Body Keeps the score?

One love

 

[TransistorBass]

Have you heard of the book The Body Keeps the score?

One love

Can't say I have, I'll see if it looks like my sort of thing.

 

[Voidmatrix]

I only mentioned it because it is a resource that talks about the somatic processing i mentioned above. You can blow past it, but there's something there if you choose to engage it.

One love