I thought it about high time to say my hellos, though a few of you already know me from previous posts. This is the first time I have joined a forum and I am aware that introducing myself after numerous posts and questions is pretty ass-backwards, butt (sic) I didn’t find out how this thing works until after I had dived in ! (sort of my modus operandi…)
Anyway, I thought I’d backtrack and go the proper route and introduce myself. Though I am not sure, reading other intros, what is expected in terms of an « essay » (most seem to be brief hellos or trip reports), I thought I’d start with who I am.
I’m probably on the mid to older scale of ages on the nexus and am university educated in English lit, mathematics and cinema ; I was a semi-pro cyclist for 10 years, work in film as a cinematographer and produce, finance, write, and direct personal fiction projects on the side, with a view to eventually eeking out a living as a director, but not until I can do so on my own terms. In the meantime I will continue finding meagre financing wherever I can to keep creating and to keep my film muscles limbre.
I am working on a couple of projects of interest to Nexians : a doc series on consciousness (episodes on AI, religious mysticism, shamanism, the neuro sciences, entheogens/psychedelics, language, mental illness, sleep & dreams), as well as a dramatic feature film project I described in a chat that involves AI, shamanism, cults & the WWW!
I am breaking out of a tough atheist/judaeo-christian/Cartesian mold (my dad is a nuclear physicist and my mother works in the medical « industry »), and it has been thanks to a number of natural substances (psilocybin, salvia divinorum, mescaline and now DMT) that my beliefs have slowly been changing to at least contain a lot more question marks than previously.
Still a healthy skeptic, and still a little wary of the more New-Agey end of the spectrum, I have learned to change my original views of things like the notions of a common consciousness and an all-encompassing godhead, the idea of the soul and of reincarnation from de facto dismissal to a stance of « ain’t really sure anymore ». Some progress is slower than others…
I just can’t get over the non-proveabilty of most of this, given that without the burden of proof there is no scale to weigh interesting and inspirational ideas against those of lunatics and fundamentalists. But sometimes you just FEEL that things are right, or in my case that they are at least one step away from deserving immediate and thoughtless dismissal !
AS for spicey experience (so far) : I have done one single extraction from 133g of MHRB for a yield of about 750 mg that I have yet to re-x (another great term) and I am studiously catching up and filling the gaps in my chemistry knowledge. After three sub-breakthrough experiences I had one mega whopper of a trying tryp that sent me spiralling down and then back up and around; all three trips are reported elsewhere on the site, and I am grateful for the support and reassurance I received from other members here. The last one really had me asking some serious questions, and after a couple of weeks I realized that it IS sufficient to be pushed to ask, knowing you will never have a full and complete answer, if one is forthcoming at all.
Wisdom resides in the number of questions a mind can entertain at once, especially if the answers appear to contradict themselves. Learning is not knowing ; it is a process, and he who learns no more yearns no more. So bring on the questions !
Anyway, I hope I can bring a new perspective to the nexus, this most wonderful of communities for which I felt an immediate affinity, which is rather rare in my life (I’m quite certain I am not alone here, at least with respect to this). Someday I aspire to be a full fledge member so i can hop & skip out of the nursery to jump into some of these fascinating threads !
Cheers and much spice,
JBArk
Anyway, I thought I’d backtrack and go the proper route and introduce myself. Though I am not sure, reading other intros, what is expected in terms of an « essay » (most seem to be brief hellos or trip reports), I thought I’d start with who I am.
I’m probably on the mid to older scale of ages on the nexus and am university educated in English lit, mathematics and cinema ; I was a semi-pro cyclist for 10 years, work in film as a cinematographer and produce, finance, write, and direct personal fiction projects on the side, with a view to eventually eeking out a living as a director, but not until I can do so on my own terms. In the meantime I will continue finding meagre financing wherever I can to keep creating and to keep my film muscles limbre.
I am working on a couple of projects of interest to Nexians : a doc series on consciousness (episodes on AI, religious mysticism, shamanism, the neuro sciences, entheogens/psychedelics, language, mental illness, sleep & dreams), as well as a dramatic feature film project I described in a chat that involves AI, shamanism, cults & the WWW!
I am breaking out of a tough atheist/judaeo-christian/Cartesian mold (my dad is a nuclear physicist and my mother works in the medical « industry »), and it has been thanks to a number of natural substances (psilocybin, salvia divinorum, mescaline and now DMT) that my beliefs have slowly been changing to at least contain a lot more question marks than previously.
Still a healthy skeptic, and still a little wary of the more New-Agey end of the spectrum, I have learned to change my original views of things like the notions of a common consciousness and an all-encompassing godhead, the idea of the soul and of reincarnation from de facto dismissal to a stance of « ain’t really sure anymore ». Some progress is slower than others…
I just can’t get over the non-proveabilty of most of this, given that without the burden of proof there is no scale to weigh interesting and inspirational ideas against those of lunatics and fundamentalists. But sometimes you just FEEL that things are right, or in my case that they are at least one step away from deserving immediate and thoughtless dismissal !
AS for spicey experience (so far) : I have done one single extraction from 133g of MHRB for a yield of about 750 mg that I have yet to re-x (another great term) and I am studiously catching up and filling the gaps in my chemistry knowledge. After three sub-breakthrough experiences I had one mega whopper of a trying tryp that sent me spiralling down and then back up and around; all three trips are reported elsewhere on the site, and I am grateful for the support and reassurance I received from other members here. The last one really had me asking some serious questions, and after a couple of weeks I realized that it IS sufficient to be pushed to ask, knowing you will never have a full and complete answer, if one is forthcoming at all.
Wisdom resides in the number of questions a mind can entertain at once, especially if the answers appear to contradict themselves. Learning is not knowing ; it is a process, and he who learns no more yearns no more. So bring on the questions !
Anyway, I hope I can bring a new perspective to the nexus, this most wonderful of communities for which I felt an immediate affinity, which is rather rare in my life (I’m quite certain I am not alone here, at least with respect to this). Someday I aspire to be a full fledge member so i can hop & skip out of the nursery to jump into some of these fascinating threads !
Cheers and much spice,
JBArk
Be sure to leave your comments there when you become one (if you have anything to add that is!) Thanks for reading them!
