DMT Experience - I am Not Allowed to the enter the Hyperspace

[Iknownothing0]

Hallo Everybody,

In a few of my trips, I remember that some entity is preventing me from entering the colorful and joyful "hyperspace" that I hope and look forward to.
On my last trip - with the e-mesh method about 20-25 mg DMT - it was made very clear again that I Cant go any further to have the beautiful visuals. Why is that so?

Have you had similar experiences?
What can I do about it?
i also don't think the problem will go away if I smoke more, as it has happened at least 3 times now.

I have been locked out for a long time now and it honestly scares me. I spent months using dmt respectfully on a path of learning and unlearning. Amazing breakthroughs and ocassional terrifying nightmares.
I would never normally mix dmt with anything apart from lsd and that was seldom. But then I went to this music festival and I was on all kinds of stuff including alcohol. The pen wouldn't work. I established that I couldn't go to them. But I also figured out a way to let them come into me. Each time I hit the pen, a spirit would enter me. It was using my eyes and body to perceive the world around it. Sounds cool. Felt like some kind of new breakthrough.
But I had this feeling like I had desecrated a sacred space. I knew what I was doing was wrong even though I didn't know why. I allowed these spirits to use me like a puppet maybe 4 or 5 times that night.
Ever since then, I have been locked out. Doesn't matter if I am sober, grounded, respectful. I know in my heart I am banished.
Honestly, I'm fine with not taking dmt ever again. It has already given me so much. But what terrifies me is that the consequences of my acts will follow my spirit after death. I don't know it but I am scared of it. I just want to know how to redeem myself.

 

[taita]

I have been locked out for a long time now and it honestly scares me. I spent months using dmt respectfully on a path of learning and unlearning. Amazing breakthroughs and ocassional terrifying nightmares.
I would never normally mix dmt with anything apart from lsd and that was seldom. But then I went to this music festival and I was on all kinds of stuff including alcohol. The pen wouldn't work. I established that I couldn't go to them. But I also figured out a way to let them come into me. Each time I hit the pen, a spirit would enter me. It was using my eyes and body to perceive the world around it. Sounds cool. Felt like some kind of new breakthrough.
But I had this feeling like I had desecrated a sacred space. I knew what I was doing was wrong even though I didn't know why. I allowed these spirits to use me like a puppet maybe 4 or 5 times that night.
Ever since then, I have been locked out. Doesn't matter if I am sober, grounded, respectful. I know in my heart I am banished.
Honestly, I'm fine with not taking dmt ever again. It has already given me so much. But what terrifies me is that the consequences of my acts will follow my spirit after death. I don't know it but I am scared of it. I just want to know how to redeem myself.

Pray, meditate, fast, do good. Connect with nature on its own terms. Live and move from a place of kindness to self and others. The soul heals in time, or truly, the soul is already intact and our task is only to remove the obstructions that cloud it

That's what the medicine is for, imo, for healing the soul by showing us our obstructions, so that the spirit of light we all share can shine thru. There are also specific learnings that the plant teachers can give, but mostly those teachings are received on the far side of healing the soul, which is the work that most of us need to do

 

[northape]

I have been locked out for a long time now and it honestly scares me. I spent months using dmt respectfully on a path of learning and unlearning. Amazing breakthroughs and ocassional terrifying nightmares.
I would never normally mix dmt with anything apart from lsd and that was seldom. But then I went to this music festival and I was on all kinds of stuff including alcohol. The pen wouldn't work. I established that I couldn't go to them. But I also figured out a way to let them come into me. Each time I hit the pen, a spirit would enter me. It was using my eyes and body to perceive the world around it. Sounds cool. Felt like some kind of new breakthrough.
But I had this feeling like I had desecrated a sacred space. I knew what I was doing was wrong even though I didn't know why. I allowed these spirits to use me like a puppet maybe 4 or 5 times that night.
Ever since then, I have been locked out. Doesn't matter if I am sober, grounded, respectful. I know in my heart I am banished.
Honestly, I'm fine with not taking dmt ever again. It has already given me so much. But what terrifies me is that the consequences of my acts will follow my spirit after death. I don't know it but I am scared of it. I just want to know how to redeem myself.

Maybe shift your perspective a bit and see it as a life lesson. What did you learn from it? That idea of permanent damage is misleading because nothing is permanent. What will follow our spirit after death is beyond our direct knowledge. I'd listen to @taita's advice and just live a good, solid life from now on.

Don't underestimate the power of genuine regret. God (reality) is basically good and all-forgiving. What you need to do is forgive yourself - face your fears, honestly pray for forgiveness, and be open to what comes. There are countless examples of people who turned their lives around and used past deeds as fuel to change themselves for good. That's the beginning of many spiritual biographies too (Milarepa comes to mind right away). So it all comes down to your intent. You can't change the past, but you can learn from it. I'd say you got a good lesson in discernment and presence. Go live its truth and the doors will open, because they are never really closed. Your self is the gatekeeper here.