When there is nothing to hold on to, your mind stops thinking straight, and short-term memory is fried, you come down to absolute basics - willpower and faith in life.
Try asking yourself, "Why am I afraid to smoke?" Usually, your fear is about losing control. We are afraid of the unknown and what it implies. Consciously using the medicine is an act of absolute surrender and trust in life. Yes, you can brainwash yourself to a degree a few times, but then you know what smoking is deep in your bones. Any gaslighting would fall off like leaves in autumn. I feel one needs to acknowledge the courage it takes and see that the act itself, even if done through the ego, comes from a much deeper place. Basically, the universe itself puts a vape or a cup into your hands. I like this passage from Dune about fear:
Litany Against Fear
"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
The phrase derives from William Shakespeare's Julius Caesar:
"Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.
Of all the wonders that I yet have heard,
It seems to me most strange that men should fear,
Seeing that death, a necessary end,
Will come when it will come."
