First bad DMT trip

[52-dsl]

I don't know what just went wrong? And I thought their was no concept of fear when you get beyond that point. Boy was I wrong! I took 4 large hits, it was hitting me soo hard after the 2nd, but I forced myself. I was feeling adventurous and wanted to take it a step furthur. What I do remember is my lightbulb pipe going into colorful geometric patterns after the 3rd hit and the forth hit feeling real mechanical. I do remember for a split second b4 I flicked off the light and laid back in bed how beatiful the wall looked and the lamp, and maybe I should leave the light on. But I knew I was really gonna boink out in a few more seconds, so I did the norm. Then the "oh wow I'm hear again" feeling hit me. Then I got this feeling that I must be totally insane for doing/liking this. After that it took a turn for the worse.
The term broke through just does'nt really fit it. It got really wierd. Every other time I went that far I could'nt even comprehend what was happening so it was fine. But this time it scared the living shit out of me (excuse my language). I guess I'm under the impression a Dmt trip is what death is going to be like. I did have one trip that was just pure bliss and all my others have been good for the most part so it was cool. But I was in this strange freaky place that I could'nt even put into words. I was thinking this is not where I want to spend eternity and panicked. When I came to my heart was about to beat outta mt chest, and I still had bad vibes for a few more minuites.
I know I had it coming though, I was warned. I was'nt taking it serious enough. Tonight was just a spur of the moment urge I fullfilled cause I could'nt sleep and was bored. I'm supposed to be on a break. That was just within the last hour. Now what's really freaking me out is that I want to do it again already!?! WTF's wrong with me? Seriously. That was one of the scariest experience's of my life and I want to do it again right away? My rational thinking is that I'm just soo amazed at the power their.... Or am I insane?
Think I better stick with that break.

 

[endlessness]

Dont smoke DMT out of boredom, thats a recipe for disaster. Try to cultivate a more patient respectful attitude and integrate after the trips.

I suggest you take a look at these links, they may have some good tips for you:

FAQ - DMT Frequently Asked Questions and Troubleshooting Guide - DMT-Nexus Wiki

wiki.dmt-nexus.me

DMT-Nexus Wiki:Health and Safety - DMT-Nexus Wiki

wiki.dmt-nexus.me

How is 'normal' life going for you these days? Are you healthy, balanced in fulfillign responsibilities, etc?

 

[Voidwalk]

Thoughts of insanity often enter my thought processes during and after most ventures.
Ofcourse in this case I don't think insanity has much to do with it, I'd more say that you're being silly.
Silly in the sense of abusing your glorified and saught after ticket to the spirit realm, or whatever you may call it.

Learning more respect for spice and self-restraint will assist you incredibly, the spirit world isn't one to hold back on exposing your weaknesses, if you control your urges you'll become stronger, they will respect that.
Ofcourse venture when and how you wish, that's the beauty of free will.

Most importantly, it's good to see you're okay and still with us Ventures can get rough every once and a while, don't despair, keep on rolling.
Take it easy.

P.S. Respect that spice!

 

[VoidTraveler]

Bad trips are part of the experience, no matter how you put it. I've taken a large dose of mushrooms when I was on the verge of mental collapse in order to see if there was another way out. I can tell you, that trip was horrible, halfway through I phoned up my 'life line'(my psychedelic buddy who was on standby) crying like a baby. The trip was terrible, but it also did provide me with the insights that I needed to resolve my problems.

As long as you remember that you're having a bad trip and that it'll pass you'll make it through.

 

[VisualAnemia]

Luckily for me, the larger doses makes me completely immobilized, that way I can’t run around in terror while raving about these insanities sundering my sanity!

I've been killed on spice once, perhaps even twice but I'm only certain of the one time it happened, in a flash I was put in this room made out of glass, everything was reflecting itself and it made me terribly confused and frightened.

What then happened was brutal and I'll briefly describe it as the most terrifying moment of my life, yet I've almost died before this (irl *lol*) experience. The reflecting glass surfaces began to take on some kind of shape and they morphed right in front of my eyes into malevolent looking children whose looks turned out to be very true. Right there, on the spot, I was hammered to death by them but the most horribly thing about this was that I kept dying over and over again; completely defenseless and I was somehow being killed repeatedly by these evil children. I was beaten, I died, I somehow continued to live, then died again.

However I realized it was a mere hallucination, although a true "real hallucination" and I suddenly thought of the situation as hilarious because of its truly bizarre nature, why would my brain make up these things I thought? Does "it" not like me?

The rest of the experience turned out to be very humorous and I'm glad I experienced it. IMO, regardless of the outcome one should not simply discard a tough experience as "bad", you have to let the fear pass through you, fear is the mind killer! - Dune

 

[52-dsl]

Thanks for the links, I read them and they made sense. Most I knew already. Like I said, I was being irresponsible and had it coming.
I've had 2 bad trips before that. One was on a heavy acid trip. It got all based around death, started thinking I was dying. The other was the only time I (unknowingly) ingested PCP with acid. That one got REAL ugly. Broken glass, lacerations, a big fall, police chasing me... But I must say, the Dmt one was the scariest. But also soo short, and I was safe.
You also have to take into count I've tripped atleast 200 times probably closer to 300 so if you look at it percentage wise it's pretty low. It's just something that's gonna happen once in awhile IMO.

 

[sparkling_lotus]

The great thing about a bad DMT trip is that it's short lived. That's how I reassure myself. As far as death is concerned...I think we trip naturally right before and I think we stay in an infinite trip, or perhaps that's merely the last thing we perceive and it's lights out soon after..who knows. I hope I can find clarity on this through my travels. I've always been curious what comes next, maybe I'll find comfort. Sounds like you recovered okay. Perhaps reflect on this voyage, maybe there's discreet symbolism in something that showed itself...nonetheless, good ratio on your good: bad trips.

 

[Sky Motion]

Ditch the lightbulb vape :roll:

Like you said, it's bound to happen once in a while. I mean..you aren't perfect right?

 

[52-dsl]

Just so you all know, humor, light heartedness, and music are how I cope with life. I really do take things serious. That trip affected me immensely! That was a good swift kick in the ass for me that I better get right.
My home team just lost in the playoffs yesterday and I was pretty salty and disgusted with their performance. You think I could've brought bad vibes into my trip? JK
And what's wrong with the lightbulb? I think it works great.

 

[tele]

Good or bad... Hard to say when it comes to DMT experiences. I've had my share of unpleasant/difficult DMT experiences but I would not call them bad.
Something we perceive unpleasant etc. might even be beneficial to us in some sense. For example facing ones deepest fears can be considered "bad trip", but in the end it can go beyond good or bad. Whatever the trip is like, I end up being stronger afterwards and the respect towards DMT only grows.

 

[Pandora]

52-dsl,

Thank you for sharing this. I just want to say a couple things. First off, my sense from reading that is that you are not insane. You communicated what was happening very well. You showed honesty and a bit of insight in admitting that you were supposed to be on a break, etc. Seems to me you had a rough, scary ride and compared to your other experiences (still numbered on the fingers of a hand) it was confusing.

You thought if you just kept hitting there'd be no fear. Interesting. Others think that too. I could pontificate long and hard on this, but instead I think I'll just say every single time I think I've got DMT figured out, it slaps me upside the head with a surprise, frequently pleasant, sometimes not so. DMT has been a HUGE teacher to me, but this teacher carries a thick switch and isn't afraid to use it to get the point across.

A number of us have been burned once or several times. For me, frequently when I use too much or for the wrong reasons. For me also, when I have stuff cooking in various levels of my mind (whether I'm consciously aware of it or not). DMT tends to let me know if I was disrespectful or if I have some stuff I really need to work on or face.

One of the biggies for me has been death and acceptance thereof. DMT gives me a total death rattle - I don't know why but it does. And your mentioning similar things, is an ongoing confirmation that I'm not the only one. Many times I've said I feel DMT is great practice for death.

When the end comes, as it does for every single person who is ever born, unless it is a super-fast accident or medical event, there's usually some time to think things over. When DMT rattles my death bell that time is about one minute but it feels like a hundred years.

Here's what's helped me when I get slammed with fear, death, guilt, nihilism, etc. in hyperspace: Taking significant integration breaks (non-use) to seriously and consciously work on this stuff. It has not been easy. Also, needless to say, your stuff is no doubt different from mine and everyone's path is different so what works for one may or may not work for another. But, I'd like to encourage you to take some baseline time to think about the fears and stuff that came up in your trip. Meditate, dream journal, talk it over with folks you trust (Even if that's just the Nexus - chat is a good resource.).

I honestly think that in hyperspace DMT gives us HUGE signposts pointing to stuff in our baseline lives. Figuring out what the stuff is and what it all means is not always easy. DMT hyperspace feels very spiritual and mystical in there but as house has said it also feels like All is Reflection. Like the hugest mirror ever.

Another thing that helps me is being very ritualistic in my preparation before I smoke DMT. I meditate, find a nice quiet mental space (as Dreamer042 recommends) and before I take the hit I try to let go, to surrender, to give everything up. All of my beliefs, certainties and attachments, including my attachment to my body and my life. I accept that everyone dies and I will too. I do not know what it means but we've all got to go sometime. Might as well surrender, try to meet it with grace, open arms and nothing but love in my heart. Somehow this attitude/technique works very very well for me in hyperspace too. If I start going down dark corners or if the entities are on me, eviscerating me, psychically vivesecting me, I try to surrender, accept and return love. Often times they back off, smile and point to an opening to a new (breakthrough) area that they welcome me into.

Anyway, this did turn into a long, pontificating rant. Your post resonated with me. I do hope you are taking time to be good to yourself - you know get good sleep, eat good, nutritious meals, take walks, etc. Look around - it's a beautiful world and it's great to be alive and what a miracle it is to smoke DMT.

I do hope you will feel better soon, do some of this work, and eventually come back to DMT. I suspect amazing and good things await.

Peace & Love

 

[original_sessions]

As the alchemists of old would state: "As above so below". Being such, since everything in this universe is connected and one with itself, nothing is as bad as we perceive it to be. If everything is one, then even entities like demons, devils, etc. are really nothing more than extensions of the human mind. Next time you find yourself in a state of fright, try to remember that however weird or "evil" something seems to you, it is just your cultural perception that makes it seem that way. "Nothing is" as RAW once stated. "It is only what it seems to me at that particular moment." Good luck to you on your journeys.

 

[amvitamine]

Luckily dmt only lasts a few minutes.
I don't even want to think about a trip like that on acid

 

[arcanum]

52-dsl, if you feel like it, ( as you said) then do it again. I bet this next time your're not doing it out of boredom, and chances are you'll have a good one.

 

[52-dsl]

Thanks guys. For the support. Like Pandora said, I don't have anyone else to relate to on these things. I have 1 friend that even knows about the spirit realm, but she accesses it by other means. No one around here even knows what DMT is except a couple friends I immaturely let try and I don't think they liked it. One I know is hardcore aetheist and I think the other is too. You think that could've been a factor?

 

[Sky Motion]

The light-bulb is the most inefficient way to smoke spice.

TRUST me, I used it too at one point, and though because I was tripping that it works fine, but it DOES NOT.

Once you get a machine and can vaporize 25mg in one hit, you wont ever look back. Or get the GVG, it's the top prize.

 

[Guyomech]

A great way to integrate your experience-especially a hard one- is to write about it in detail, while it's still fresh on your mind. We'd love to hear a more detailed description of that dark place- any significant visuals, for instance? Often it will be loaded with signposts about your Earthside life.

My only bad DMT trip was when I ingested too much- maybe five hits? With each toke I'd hear Terrence McKenna's elvin voice, "Just when you think you've had enough, take one more!" ... recipe for disaster.

The first few moments after I sat back and got situated were beautiful and truly astonishing. After that: tied to a car and dragged. Nothing more detailed could really be said... Except that it lasted forever.

In addition to having about double what I probably needed, I also was: 1) cold, 2) stressed, 3) coming down from an illness. Lots of unhelpful ingredients in the mix.

Further down in General Discussions-2 or 3 pages down- is an entry on heaven and hell trips... Some stuff you might find interesting.

And you're not crazy to want to go back- of course you'll want to deal with this head-on, and resolve it... That's actually pretty sane, to want that.

 

[Global]

My only bad DMT trip was when I ingested too much- maybe five hits? With each toke I'd hear Terrence McKenna's elvin voice, "Just when you think you've had enough, take one more!" ... recipe for disaster.

The first few moments after I sat back and got situated were beautiful and truly astonishing. After that: tied to a car and dragged. Nothing more detailed could really be said... Except that it lasted forever.

Funny you mention the Terrence McKenna advice, because last week when I was keeping that advice in mind, I took the extra hit, was tied to a car and dragged, but as I patiently sat out the fast, rough and tough experience bearing in mind that if I am patient, these "disasters" can usually end well, just about when I thought the trip should be degrading, things turned around, the veil parted and I was face to face with the godhead. Letting go can take you miles.

 

[Guyomech]

You're absolutely right, and that's a good thing to meditate on before going in - "if it gets too rough, try to relax and let go". But of course, that's easy to forget amidst the chaos.

One thing I always do sit with for a moment before going in: "remember dude- if you think you've gone too far, or that you're dying, or you fear for your sanity- normal DMT landmarks!"

 

[ExperiencedPMED]

I smoked two hits of NN DMT yesterday, i saw what I thought was a meth pipe but i was told it was DMT. I have never seen it or heard of it, my buddy told me what it was. He said i would be back to normal in 10-15 mins. I didn't think it would hit me hard because my buddy who let me hit it, made it. Anyways, i smoked a small hit, but didn't smoke enough, hit it one more very good time. My buddy said that's a fat hit and said just close your eyes. It hit me right as i closed I eyes, i felt very light headed and i dont like that feeling. So i opened my eyes to ask a question but was speechless on the instant Dejavu feeling and kaleidoscope vision and everything in the room coming apart and moving frame by frame really slowly. I didn't like how when my eyes were closed the color patterns felt too close and were to hard see alot of anything, would go into an empty white place, it seemed too close to see anything like demons or cartoon caracters. So i opened my eyes to just look at everything would move around and my hands would change and go from normal to beautiful colors. I did that a few times and kept opening i eyes to see if it was over and I thought it was because i heard my brother talking but his mouth wasn't moving anymore. My brother looked like he had green gas coming off him. My other friends face was changing colors very fast and stayed red then he grew horns and looked like the devil. I had one other friend there, the one who gave me this experience, but he was normal looking to me the whole time. So in the end, the DMT hits you hard and fast, your first time you do it, you try and fight it. The best thing to do is to let everything in your body and yourself relax, it's kinda hard not too relax your body because i couldn't feel mine body. it is definitely an out of body experience. Then the trip slowly ends but not at once, try and think of what you want to see. Inanimate objects will move and have very nice visuals for a few good mins. The DMT that my friend extracted was the most bad ass hallucinations ive ever had. If you do any dmt try and record what you say and do, the best way is to video tape it. Be safe friends who I don't know and some i probably might know if you know the city Yucaipa in Ca.
Be careful with anything you do and don't shoot up or smoke heroin and or meth, it ruins people and will ruin you.