Ghost_Titties
Rising Star
I recently tried DMT (smoked). It was an absolutely incredible experience, I felt as though I was removed from my body, seeing incredible colors and shapes, I felt as though there was a balance in the universe I had never felt before. I felt like I was near death but I wasn't afraid, it was more peaceful than anything. It was definitely the most intense psychedelic I've ever done.
What's bothering me is how I've felt the following weeks. I feel as though I've been mentally obsessing over DMT, like I can't stop thinking about it, about how I felt.
I sit for hours and read trip report after trip report from various websites, and mentally drawing conclusions that have no true basis and are simply fabrications of my mind (for example, DMT leads to different demensions, realms with all different beings that have different meanings and reasons, different levels of hierarchy in celestial beings, etc.). Again, I know none of this is fact and has no real basis whatsoever, that it's just my mind trying to connect dots that aren't there. I'm not delusional, but for a minute though I feel as though i was beginning to convince myself it was true.
I am constantly asking questions such as "If DMT really is what you experience after death, do people who spent their whole lives hurting others (such as rapists and murderers) have the same feeling of peace and comfort?" I feel as though the DMT allowed me to understand that we're all just little bits of what we call "life" or "spirit" experiencing different things and reacting how we find fit. But stuff like that irks my mind because it feels like an injustice. I know life isn't fair. I know nobody is all good or all evil. I just, I dunno. Maybe that's something that will reconcile with time and experience. But for the time being, these types of questions are constantly floating around in my mind.
DMT gave me several answers but even more questions. I feel like my brain is scrambled trying to find and connect meaning to the DMT that may not even be there. Perhaps it's because I've always been looking for answers to my existential questions, and my brain is mistaking a psychedelic drug that elicits a deeper understanding of the world, for real purpose and meaning.
I don't want to "worship" DMT if you know what I mean, and I feel like thats almost what I waa doing. I respect it, it's definitely something very spiritual and intense, but I don't want to center my life around it. I'm an atheist and firmly believe in being in charge of your own life and making your own choices- not spending your life worshipping something, anything, including substances. (So sorry if this comes off as offensive to anybody who is religious. Im not trying to bash religion, this is just my personal viewpoint).
I've been trying to keep my mind off of DMT, trying not to add anything to the experience that I didn't actually experience (like thinking of celestial beings people see on breakthroughs, I didn't experience anything like that yet I found myself obsessing over it).
Basically, I've been trying to take what I learned from DMT (The balance in the world, the understanding perspectives of others, the desire to put good energy out in to the world to have a positive impact on other people's lives), and focus on that and that only, since I DID actually experience those feelings while tripping. I see no harm in pursuing them, and they make me feel happy and content.
I guess my main question here really, is if any of you have ever experienced anything like this? A sort of obsessive over-thinking/theorizing after experiencing DMT for the first time? And if so, how did you guys deal with it?
I really want to learn how to use DMT as effectively as I can. I don't want to be one of those people who think DMT is the answer to EVERYTHING, especially with no hard evidence to back it up. I want to be rational and thoughtful, and use/experience DMT properly, in a way that will benefit my life and mind, as well as those around me. I want to gain a deeper respect and understanding for life and this world and use DMT to make my time here as peaceful and happy as it can be. If any of you could give me tips on how to do this, please please let me know!
Oh also, one more thing I'd like to mention, I injured my knee a few weeks ago and have been off work and laid up in bed. This happened about two days after I smoked the DMT. Could it be possible that I'm literally just bored out of my mind all day and that's the reason for my obsessive thinking about it? I mean i know DMT is definitely an intense and life changing experience, but I feel like I've been thinking about it a LOT, even for how crazy of an experience it is. Lol.
What's bothering me is how I've felt the following weeks. I feel as though I've been mentally obsessing over DMT, like I can't stop thinking about it, about how I felt.
I sit for hours and read trip report after trip report from various websites, and mentally drawing conclusions that have no true basis and are simply fabrications of my mind (for example, DMT leads to different demensions, realms with all different beings that have different meanings and reasons, different levels of hierarchy in celestial beings, etc.). Again, I know none of this is fact and has no real basis whatsoever, that it's just my mind trying to connect dots that aren't there. I'm not delusional, but for a minute though I feel as though i was beginning to convince myself it was true.
I am constantly asking questions such as "If DMT really is what you experience after death, do people who spent their whole lives hurting others (such as rapists and murderers) have the same feeling of peace and comfort?" I feel as though the DMT allowed me to understand that we're all just little bits of what we call "life" or "spirit" experiencing different things and reacting how we find fit. But stuff like that irks my mind because it feels like an injustice. I know life isn't fair. I know nobody is all good or all evil. I just, I dunno. Maybe that's something that will reconcile with time and experience. But for the time being, these types of questions are constantly floating around in my mind.
DMT gave me several answers but even more questions. I feel like my brain is scrambled trying to find and connect meaning to the DMT that may not even be there. Perhaps it's because I've always been looking for answers to my existential questions, and my brain is mistaking a psychedelic drug that elicits a deeper understanding of the world, for real purpose and meaning.
I don't want to "worship" DMT if you know what I mean, and I feel like thats almost what I waa doing. I respect it, it's definitely something very spiritual and intense, but I don't want to center my life around it. I'm an atheist and firmly believe in being in charge of your own life and making your own choices- not spending your life worshipping something, anything, including substances. (So sorry if this comes off as offensive to anybody who is religious. Im not trying to bash religion, this is just my personal viewpoint).
I've been trying to keep my mind off of DMT, trying not to add anything to the experience that I didn't actually experience (like thinking of celestial beings people see on breakthroughs, I didn't experience anything like that yet I found myself obsessing over it).
Basically, I've been trying to take what I learned from DMT (The balance in the world, the understanding perspectives of others, the desire to put good energy out in to the world to have a positive impact on other people's lives), and focus on that and that only, since I DID actually experience those feelings while tripping. I see no harm in pursuing them, and they make me feel happy and content.
I guess my main question here really, is if any of you have ever experienced anything like this? A sort of obsessive over-thinking/theorizing after experiencing DMT for the first time? And if so, how did you guys deal with it?
I really want to learn how to use DMT as effectively as I can. I don't want to be one of those people who think DMT is the answer to EVERYTHING, especially with no hard evidence to back it up. I want to be rational and thoughtful, and use/experience DMT properly, in a way that will benefit my life and mind, as well as those around me. I want to gain a deeper respect and understanding for life and this world and use DMT to make my time here as peaceful and happy as it can be. If any of you could give me tips on how to do this, please please let me know!
Oh also, one more thing I'd like to mention, I injured my knee a few weeks ago and have been off work and laid up in bed. This happened about two days after I smoked the DMT. Could it be possible that I'm literally just bored out of my mind all day and that's the reason for my obsessive thinking about it? I mean i know DMT is definitely an intense and life changing experience, but I feel like I've been thinking about it a LOT, even for how crazy of an experience it is. Lol.
