ghostman
Rising Star
Over the last few months SWIM has been doing a lot of research and gathering information. SWIM first heard about DMT in the 80s, when he was a teenager. Not long after that there was a discovery of psychedelics and a journey of exploration (somewhat over enthusiastically) into all manner of substances. The use of Psychedelics stopped 15 years ago.
For the last few years SWIM has had a growing interest in Shamanism, which stemmed from a visit to a psychologist, who happened to actually be a Shaman. He listened to the ailments of SWIM and advised that the walls of western therapy were unsuitable. He advised SWIM to visit him on his farm and to set about talking in a very different way.
SWIM sees this Shaman every 1 or two years. He has to travel to Africa to see him. SWIM had some bizarre experience on one visit where he became transfixed by the eyes of the Shaman and watched as the Shaman morphed into a lion. SWIM tried hard to keep a handle on the situation and had to remind himself that he'd had some weird experiences in the past with psychedelics.
About 3 months ago SWIM started making plans for a pilgrimage to Peru to partake in an Ayahuasca ceremony under the guidance of a Shaman. The African Shaman SWIM sees studied for a long time in Ecuador and recommended the journey. As preparation SWIM thought it might be worthwhile finding out how easy or difficult it would be to manufacture spice.
This is where the journey begins.
SWIM found everything online, raw materials, proper lab equipment for filtering, funneling, measuring and evaporating. The science lesson alone was very interesting and a great deal of fun in it's own right. Many teks were read and re-read. Many teks were studied and collated. Living in Europe, in a funny little country in Europe, where everything is very tightly controlled made it interesting. For example we don't have pools, so where does one buy HCL? SWIM had to go to the apothecary, order, sign for and buy HCL and NaOH.
The first AB extraction failed except for a tiny bit of what looked like earwax. This was sampled off tin foil and a funnel to catch the smoke. It worked, there just wasn't very much of it and it wasn't very clean.
A series of extractions followed altering technique. Where AB extractions were used, the levels were adjusted and tweaked and more patience was applied. STB teks were used, very successfully too. STB are fast, and they yield, but SWIM now gets a very clean result from AB.
The experiences themselves took on a very interesting path. SWIM has reached a point where he is now puzzled and not sure what the real use or value of the DMT experiences is. This is why SWIM is here to participate, SWIM needs to try and make sense of the experiences, to share these with others, to get feedback and to listen to what others have experienced before him.
SWIM is amazed that others can remember so concisely what they experience. SWIM finds the experience too frantic and hyper to really get a grip on. The memory of the overload is also short lived and SWIM is left with only fragments of what happened. SWIM is only left with what seem like significant fragments, although some of them are clear they remain only a small part of a really frantic whole.
Here is a brief history of the experiences. Each number denotes a unique occasion.
1) The open eye visuals and the sudden onset of the trip cause SWIM to lay down and close their eyes. A blue fractal machine was encountered. Uber-technological and extremely interesting. SWIM was completely aware throughout and could play with the nature of this machine. It was serpentine, but made up of tunnels and geometric corridors. SWIM could zoom into the parts this machine was made of, only to find more parts. This was a fractal machine. SWIM could zoom in or out of this infinitely unfolding thing. Mantis features seemed to appear in the construct, but only flashes, suggestions. There was a clear sensation of being observed.
2) A jester or harlequin appeared, once again, more like a frantic suggestion. It was blocking a white square portal. The jester was folded up, each of its limbs against a side of the square portal.
SWIM by now was brave enough to open his eyes. At first it seemed like to have one's eyes open was to fight the experience. With eyes open SWIM could not believe how delicious the visuals were. Everything looked like candyland, everything was so vivid, as if it has been made by Pixar.
3) The doses got bigger and a vaporizer was used for smoking. A patina of liquid crystal appeared between SWIM and the room. From this liquid crystal layer, a shape formed out of it, definitely feminine. She beckoned SWIM in, gesturing with liquid crystal hands, come in, do you see, come in. SWIM remembers sitting there saying the words i see, i see now, i see
4) SWIM had only ever sat in his lounge, lights very low, near darkness. He was amazed how everything became lit up and saturated with colour. SWIM decided to change setting and lay in bed. He wanted to see what it the visions would be like in total darkness. A large dose was smoked. A blue fractal appeared, it was very strong and forceful. SWIM lay with his eyes open as it raged. SWIM closed his eyes and everything remained the same. The jester appeared in the turmoil, mocking SWIM, laughing at him;you think you have control, you think you can control it? You think you can play with it, you can't hide from it by closing your eyes, you can't fool me, I am the trickster
This faded and SWIM still had something to smoke in the vaporizer. Re-entry was made. SWIM was in a chamber, like an engine room. There was a green and metal mantis thing that was pulsating back and forth the length of the room. It was moving back and forth covering the entire length of the room, which seemed endless. This was happening at break-neck speed. SWIM was totally immobilized. The metal mantis was raping SWIM. It was mind rape, soul rape but it was also sexual. It was both frightening but ecstatic.
When the rape was over, SWIM was presented with a vibrating orb shaped mandala, eyes open. It appeared before SWIM and he could alter its shape and frequency by sound. SWIM was humming at different pitches at the Orb, watching it change shape. SWIM had the distinct feeling that he had no idea what the Orb was really for and that he was nothing more than a gnat playing with a gyroscope. SWIM has tears streaming down his face after this, but is left feeling post orgasmic, not unlike MDMA.
5) SWIM is transported immediately into a chamber or garden of sorts where wildly advanced shapes and structures that make up the garden fold and transform. There are cubes and cones. If SWIM loses concentration, or is distracted, a digital serpent peels out of the fabric and warns SWIM not to lose it.
This chamber or garden is the only place SWIM ever ends up going now. It is too frantic and fast to get a grip on, there is no information, knowledge or extra understanding. SWIM really might as well be dead and transported into a digital quantum dimension.
Whenever SWIM smoked DMT before this, candyland was always there, delicious and amazing. Now when SWIM smokes DMT, the motif has changed, the jester is gone, candyland is gone, it's a much darker place, it's moved from candyland to dark jungle. It is more organic with strong Mayan shapes and jungleness.
If the first entry is light and Kandinsky-esque, re-entry is always very dark and very sinister.
6) SWIM is transported into the same quantum techno-garden where anything can change shape or nature and weird things happen. SWIM is shooting through ducts, leaving the garden, but never leaving it, it's all just the same place but it's changing shape and nature. It's really quantum, where anything can happen and everything is connected and there seem to be no physical rules.
SWIM re-enters an hour later, with a large dose. SWIM feels it coming and with eyes open, everything went black. BLACK, completely BLACK. From the edge of his vision, dead, black, hell. In the vision, there was no light, nothing, everything was black. Serpentine creatures seemed present, made of black glass, everything was black. I cannot explain how profoundly black everything was. SWIM let it go and eventually things eased off, colour returned, but it was immense and really scary.
SWIM is alarmed by how things can turn. Was it a warning not to get too familiar? The place seems to be getting more and more sinister and dark. Mostly the trips are easy, apart from pre-flight anxiety. SWIM can let go and go with it. He does not have trouble doing this and just gets into a deep, death-like, comatose meditative state and just let's the DMT go where it wants to go. But this last black hole was like a black death, it was, simply put, horrible.
So, it is at this point that SWIM needs to work this out and get help from those who are well traveled. The experiences SWIM are nowhere near this dreamlike plane that others seem to skate with beautiful funny beings full of love. For SWIM, DMT is a place, he ends up in the same place, it's a quantum place that has a completely different set of physics rules. But it is dark, sinister and even malicious.
I'll leave my story here. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for having me in your community.
Ghostman.
For the last few years SWIM has had a growing interest in Shamanism, which stemmed from a visit to a psychologist, who happened to actually be a Shaman. He listened to the ailments of SWIM and advised that the walls of western therapy were unsuitable. He advised SWIM to visit him on his farm and to set about talking in a very different way.
SWIM sees this Shaman every 1 or two years. He has to travel to Africa to see him. SWIM had some bizarre experience on one visit where he became transfixed by the eyes of the Shaman and watched as the Shaman morphed into a lion. SWIM tried hard to keep a handle on the situation and had to remind himself that he'd had some weird experiences in the past with psychedelics.
About 3 months ago SWIM started making plans for a pilgrimage to Peru to partake in an Ayahuasca ceremony under the guidance of a Shaman. The African Shaman SWIM sees studied for a long time in Ecuador and recommended the journey. As preparation SWIM thought it might be worthwhile finding out how easy or difficult it would be to manufacture spice.
This is where the journey begins.
SWIM found everything online, raw materials, proper lab equipment for filtering, funneling, measuring and evaporating. The science lesson alone was very interesting and a great deal of fun in it's own right. Many teks were read and re-read. Many teks were studied and collated. Living in Europe, in a funny little country in Europe, where everything is very tightly controlled made it interesting. For example we don't have pools, so where does one buy HCL? SWIM had to go to the apothecary, order, sign for and buy HCL and NaOH.
The first AB extraction failed except for a tiny bit of what looked like earwax. This was sampled off tin foil and a funnel to catch the smoke. It worked, there just wasn't very much of it and it wasn't very clean.
A series of extractions followed altering technique. Where AB extractions were used, the levels were adjusted and tweaked and more patience was applied. STB teks were used, very successfully too. STB are fast, and they yield, but SWIM now gets a very clean result from AB.
The experiences themselves took on a very interesting path. SWIM has reached a point where he is now puzzled and not sure what the real use or value of the DMT experiences is. This is why SWIM is here to participate, SWIM needs to try and make sense of the experiences, to share these with others, to get feedback and to listen to what others have experienced before him.
SWIM is amazed that others can remember so concisely what they experience. SWIM finds the experience too frantic and hyper to really get a grip on. The memory of the overload is also short lived and SWIM is left with only fragments of what happened. SWIM is only left with what seem like significant fragments, although some of them are clear they remain only a small part of a really frantic whole.
Here is a brief history of the experiences. Each number denotes a unique occasion.
1) The open eye visuals and the sudden onset of the trip cause SWIM to lay down and close their eyes. A blue fractal machine was encountered. Uber-technological and extremely interesting. SWIM was completely aware throughout and could play with the nature of this machine. It was serpentine, but made up of tunnels and geometric corridors. SWIM could zoom into the parts this machine was made of, only to find more parts. This was a fractal machine. SWIM could zoom in or out of this infinitely unfolding thing. Mantis features seemed to appear in the construct, but only flashes, suggestions. There was a clear sensation of being observed.
2) A jester or harlequin appeared, once again, more like a frantic suggestion. It was blocking a white square portal. The jester was folded up, each of its limbs against a side of the square portal.
SWIM by now was brave enough to open his eyes. At first it seemed like to have one's eyes open was to fight the experience. With eyes open SWIM could not believe how delicious the visuals were. Everything looked like candyland, everything was so vivid, as if it has been made by Pixar.
3) The doses got bigger and a vaporizer was used for smoking. A patina of liquid crystal appeared between SWIM and the room. From this liquid crystal layer, a shape formed out of it, definitely feminine. She beckoned SWIM in, gesturing with liquid crystal hands, come in, do you see, come in. SWIM remembers sitting there saying the words i see, i see now, i see
4) SWIM had only ever sat in his lounge, lights very low, near darkness. He was amazed how everything became lit up and saturated with colour. SWIM decided to change setting and lay in bed. He wanted to see what it the visions would be like in total darkness. A large dose was smoked. A blue fractal appeared, it was very strong and forceful. SWIM lay with his eyes open as it raged. SWIM closed his eyes and everything remained the same. The jester appeared in the turmoil, mocking SWIM, laughing at him;you think you have control, you think you can control it? You think you can play with it, you can't hide from it by closing your eyes, you can't fool me, I am the trickster
This faded and SWIM still had something to smoke in the vaporizer. Re-entry was made. SWIM was in a chamber, like an engine room. There was a green and metal mantis thing that was pulsating back and forth the length of the room. It was moving back and forth covering the entire length of the room, which seemed endless. This was happening at break-neck speed. SWIM was totally immobilized. The metal mantis was raping SWIM. It was mind rape, soul rape but it was also sexual. It was both frightening but ecstatic.
When the rape was over, SWIM was presented with a vibrating orb shaped mandala, eyes open. It appeared before SWIM and he could alter its shape and frequency by sound. SWIM was humming at different pitches at the Orb, watching it change shape. SWIM had the distinct feeling that he had no idea what the Orb was really for and that he was nothing more than a gnat playing with a gyroscope. SWIM has tears streaming down his face after this, but is left feeling post orgasmic, not unlike MDMA.
5) SWIM is transported immediately into a chamber or garden of sorts where wildly advanced shapes and structures that make up the garden fold and transform. There are cubes and cones. If SWIM loses concentration, or is distracted, a digital serpent peels out of the fabric and warns SWIM not to lose it.
This chamber or garden is the only place SWIM ever ends up going now. It is too frantic and fast to get a grip on, there is no information, knowledge or extra understanding. SWIM really might as well be dead and transported into a digital quantum dimension.
Whenever SWIM smoked DMT before this, candyland was always there, delicious and amazing. Now when SWIM smokes DMT, the motif has changed, the jester is gone, candyland is gone, it's a much darker place, it's moved from candyland to dark jungle. It is more organic with strong Mayan shapes and jungleness.
If the first entry is light and Kandinsky-esque, re-entry is always very dark and very sinister.
6) SWIM is transported into the same quantum techno-garden where anything can change shape or nature and weird things happen. SWIM is shooting through ducts, leaving the garden, but never leaving it, it's all just the same place but it's changing shape and nature. It's really quantum, where anything can happen and everything is connected and there seem to be no physical rules.
SWIM re-enters an hour later, with a large dose. SWIM feels it coming and with eyes open, everything went black. BLACK, completely BLACK. From the edge of his vision, dead, black, hell. In the vision, there was no light, nothing, everything was black. Serpentine creatures seemed present, made of black glass, everything was black. I cannot explain how profoundly black everything was. SWIM let it go and eventually things eased off, colour returned, but it was immense and really scary.
SWIM is alarmed by how things can turn. Was it a warning not to get too familiar? The place seems to be getting more and more sinister and dark. Mostly the trips are easy, apart from pre-flight anxiety. SWIM can let go and go with it. He does not have trouble doing this and just gets into a deep, death-like, comatose meditative state and just let's the DMT go where it wants to go. But this last black hole was like a black death, it was, simply put, horrible.
So, it is at this point that SWIM needs to work this out and get help from those who are well traveled. The experiences SWIM are nowhere near this dreamlike plane that others seem to skate with beautiful funny beings full of love. For SWIM, DMT is a place, he ends up in the same place, it's a quantum place that has a completely different set of physics rules. But it is dark, sinister and even malicious.
I'll leave my story here. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for having me in your community.
Ghostman.
