Having trouble integrating a bad trip

[albertayler]

Hello all,

This is my first post on the forum, although, I've been lurking for some time.

I am having trouble integrating a bad trip.

A few days ago I had the most painful trip imaginable. I feel far from lucid right now, so explaining it in full doesn't seem possible, but I’ll try to give you a general idea. Basically, I feel as though I was tricked by a series of entities to give up a part of myself. The trip climaxed when I felt a part of myself/soul being taken away and it it's place all I could feel was an incredibly ominous icy cold sensation - somewhere between the front of my chest and the back of my neck. This feeling persisted for a couple of hours afterwards until I went to sleep.

I am an "artist" that is successful enough to live off my "art". For better or worse, I am a ridiculously sensitive and emotional person. I feel like this part of me in particular was very interesting to these entities. The ability to love. The desire to be loved. The ability and desire to turn pain into love/art etc

Even now, a few days afterwards I feel a part of myself missing. I feel as though I can't cry - something I've never had any trouble at all with in the past.

The spice has always played with my greatest desires and fears. For lack of a better word, I am a very spiritual person. I value my soul and its experiences more than anything. I recognise that I was shown my deepest fear. What I'm having trouble with is telling myself that I didn’t experience it. That this isn't for keeps. Eternal.

The icy cold sensation in my body is something I’m really struggling with. It felt so real, and I’ve never experienced any physical sensations from spice in the past. It may sound silly, but it felt as if they milked my soul.


Thank you for reading. Any help/advice/words would be greatly appreciated. I’m really terrified.

 

[JourneyToJah]

Maybe that something that has been taken was not of use anymore. Give it time to understand it's effects.

Remember that your experience is yours only, created and dedicated to yourself. I hope you get better and integrate this into your life. I would like to see some of your art if you don't mind sharing

Sending you good vibes and love. Travel safely !

 

[Global]

Perhaps you should create some art that reflects this dilemma. Perhaps a black-hole like thing sucking color out of a beautiful scene or something like that. Be creative and don't let them get to you.

It also should be noted that you have two choices. The "safe" thing to do and what many would recommend is to stop DMT use for a while, which may very well be the best idea. I feel inclined to point out however, that if I were in your shoes (and I have been a number of times - at least in terms of coming back frightened and psycho-spiritually hollow), that I sometimes ere on going back into hyperspace to rectify the situation. This can of course go both ways, but it has worked for me. Most importantly though, whichever route you take, I would work on creating more art in the mean time. Don't let them get to you. The most powerful they get is when you're paying attention to them the most.

 

[voyaj]

The most effective thing I have found is to talk it out with someone close to you that you trust. Someone who is willing to listen and avoids sharing their own interpretation. Then give it time. You never completely unlearn what you learn and it is sometimes funny how the mind tends to grab ahold of the basic and most human and easily understood aspects of the experience. You will figure it out and you will be fine. If you feel you are having anxiety you obviously know of short term ways of eliminating that. I have had to go that route after a breakthrough once before.

The memory of it begins to fade into a short story as does the intensity of it being real. Except, that obviously when you were there, it was. Think over what you have seen and felt because sometimes it takes a day or two to remember hidden scenarios from within the experience that are sometimes vital to understanding the message if it was a concrete message or not.

 

[River of Thoughts]

I say get back in hyperspace with serious intention of retrieving that part of your soul back but that is something I would do. If this problem persists in the long run. However, I highly recommend seeking a real shaman who is able to do soul retrieval or learn how to do it yourself. A book I would recommend is Medicine for the Soul by Ross Heaven.

 

[albertayler]

Everyone,

thank you so much.

I can't tell you how much just a few words help. I've tried talking to a couple of people, all with no DMT experience, and obvously it's very hard for them to understand and offer more than "you just had a bad trip".

The last few days I've have been struggling to the point of taking seraquel (a horrible anti-psychotic I always keep on hand in the event of bad trips) in order to sleep/cope.

Going back into hyperspace is definitely something I've considered, but I'm terrified I'll lose more. I think I will try to find a shaman.

 

[Felnik]

Perhaps nothing was lost at all . It could be just
An idea that you may be taking too seriously.
Not too downplay the experience in any way .
Perhaps reframing the experience to say nothing was
Taken from you .

In my own experience I have found myself
Getting way too serious about my experiences.
Many times in reflection I' ve discovered that my imagination
Was my worst enemy and concepts about my experience
Got way out of hand. You don't have to be a victim
Of these entities , you can take your power back .
In my opinion they cannot take anything from you .
It's all about what you choose to believe.

 

[voyaj]

Everyone,

thank you so much.

I can't tell you how much just a few words help. I've tried talking to a couple of people, all with no DMT experience, and obvously it's very hard for them to understand and offer more than "you just had a bad trip".

The last few days I've have been struggling to the point of taking seraquel (a horrible anti-psychotic I always keep on hand in the event of bad trips) in order to sleep/cope.

Going back into hyperspace is definitely something I've considered, but I'm terrified I'll lose more. I think I will try to find a shaman.

I recently had a breakthrough that I felt difficult. From reading other trip reports I was given an easy time but it was just so powerful. I had no idea.

I was having a really hard time integrating. Luckily, a band mate brought an actual shaman. I could not envision the images she was trying to conjure, Earth type stuff. But, I could feel the energy in me being displaced in a strange way.

Some of the information worked in my dreams. She said my spirit animal was a wolf and one night during some difficult DMT like dreams a black holographic wolf appeared and chased it all away. The only other thing that helped ease my mind was valium. I wish it had not come to all of that, but it can.

 

[○]

These 'ice cold' sensations that you've had i've also had about a dozen or so times throughout hundreds of journeys. It's VERY physical in feeling. That last time I recollect I was in a heated garage (in the winter time), I had an extremely intense breakthrough and immediately I was enveloped by this ice cold vibratory wave, and it remained throughout the enitre span of th experience and was residual a good hour to hour n' a half after. I honestly had thought someone opened the garage or something, due to the intensity of this sensation. I remember saying to my self "this sensation is just that...a sensation...it is not the experience and I will not let it get to me". I then remember focusing away from the sensation, although enveloping, and then I was transported to another level of experience, while the sensation was still present, it was secondary and the experience got extremely warm and euphoric and VERY intense throughout the remainder. It became muchh more manageable.

I wrote this because I want you to know that many of us have been there. I remember also one aspect to the experience, I opened my eyes and the external was not IN ANY WAY changed or morphing...nothing! But when I closed my eyes again it was full force and extremely intense. Very odd...not sure if this icy sensation had anything to do with it, but it was very interesting to open my eyes and everything to be completely normal in perception yet extremely visual upon closing.

My advice is to take some time away and integrate. Write, sing, make art, meditate....anything that will help bring a balance upon your mind and help to settle the waves a bit so you can be calm and collected in the midst of your new perceptual learnings. Do anything that will make you happy and bring you in the present moment, because in most cases like this, that will help you tremendously in coming to terms with your new insights.

Think of it this way...when your frustrated, nervous or scared you can't think too clearly can you? Now when you completely calm, cool, collected, 'in the moment', ideas/feelings/insights will be that much more clear to where things will make much more sense, and that's where integration happens imho.

:thumb_up: Good luck on your own perpetual unfolding.

Much love bro, and..

Tat Tvam Asi

 

[EZ4U2Shoot]

This is not advice, so much as a suggestion. Since you are an artist, I would suggest to take advantage of it. There are many areas with in the center of creativity. Perhaps you should explore the one you have tapped into. Work your art. Let it center around your experience. As an artist, you bring your experience to your art. Given your description, this might be a darker side of yourself that simply needs to be expressed within your art. You have been expressing that loving and caring side of yourself through your art; at least I assume, understanding artistic expression and given the description you've painted of yourself. Perhaps, that darker side was just part of your psyche that desires to be expressed and acknowledged as well. By expressing it within your art, you can then more easily come to terms with it because the action of expressing it helps you get it out.

Anyway, don't take this too deeply, it is just a suggestion.

 

[Psychelectric]

I have had difficult trips before with DMT and particularly with the mischevious nature of some "entities" I too have felt as if they were manipulating me and controling me in disturbing ways (see my post titled Don't Thumb Your Nose at the DMT). What broke me through that mindspace was realizing that it was all in my head. All of the mental fragmentation and hollowness that I felt in those trips was due to my focus on things. All I had to do is refocus. It's like a mind game that you esentially play with yourself. It's all about your locus of control. Do you control your mind, or do the entities? Once I asked myself that question I was able to answer that I control my mind.

If you feel the entities took something from you, if you feel it's something that you need, try to figure out what that is specifically, like a riddle. Maybe you can find it again in a dream (lucid dreaming). Maybe you can reintegrate it just by thinking. Think.
What is it that they took from you? What is it that you need to be whole?

Also, if you're afraid, there is only one thing that can conquer fear . . . and that's love.

Good luck to you, I know you'll figure it out. - Peace.

 

[CuriousSeeker]

I feel for you, albertayler. A difficult dmt experience is a visceral thing that can really linger in your mind and senses. It has taken me well over a year to process a bad experience, during which time I was completely unable to use dmt. We're only now just reconsidering our friendship, but are still a bit standoffish.

What has helped me is to write it all out and talk about it whenever I had fellow travelers to communicate with, especially in person. Many times over the following months. Over time new realizations came to me such as knowing that the test I was given by an entity during the bad trip (that I must solve this particular puzzle or else existence itself ends) was simply not true. It sure felt true at the time, and at my failure to solve the puzzle I've never felt such an intense, real feeling of despair and anguish that everything (the universe, me, existence, etc.) had ended, and that it was all my fault! Apologies to anyone who experienced everything ending in July, 2011, I really didn't mean to cause it! It surprises me that it took me weeks to realize that the choice I was presented (solve this or else!) was not true. It wasn't true, but in my mind during the experience it sure seemed true, and even with reality being where it should be upon my emergence from the trip, it still felt so bad. The mind is a funny thing when it latches onto an idea, especially an incorrect one.

My experience is different than yours. From the many things I've read here it seems most of us eventually stumble into our own personal hell, but we don't have to stay there forever. Eventually we fumble our way out, one way or another, and are stronger and wiser for it.

I wish for you all the love you need to find your healing and a return to peace.

Namaste!

 

[sgtWow]

Albertayler I recommend grabbing a copy of this book and reading it all. It explains metaphysical things such as spirit possession and evil entities in great detail aswell as other things:

http://www.falundafa.org/book/eng/pdf/zfl_new.pdf

This is an excerpt from the book about Spirit Possession. Please read it as I believe it can shed light on what you went through. DMT is actually dangerous contrary to what a lot of people believe:


Spirit Possession

A lot of us in the cultivation world might have heard of stories about animals, like maybe foxes, weasels, ghosts, or snakes, taking possession of human bodies. And what are these things all about? Some people say that practicing qigong develops supernatural abilities, but the truth is, it’s not that it develops supernatural abilities—those "supernatural abilities" are just a person’s innate abilities. It’s just that as society moves forward, people pay more and more attention to the visible things in this material dimension of ours, and they come to rely more and more on our sophisticated tools. So our human innate abilities have steadily atrophied, and now it’s come to the point where they’ve totally vanished.

If someone wants to have abilities, he has to go through cultivation, return to his original, true self, and bring them out through cultivation. But animals, on the other hand, they don’t have complicated thoughts like people do, and so they’re connected to the nature of the universe and do have their inborn, innate abilities. Some people say that animals know how to cultivate, that foxes know how to make elixir, that snakes and such-and-such animals know how to cultivate, and so on. It’s not that they know how to cultivate. At the start they didn’t know a thing about cultivating—it’s only that they had those innate abilities. So under certain conditions, in certain environments, and after a long time their innate abilities might take effect, and they’ll be able to get gong, and have abilities come out.

Now that things have gone this way, that animal gets some special abilities. At one time we would have said they’d "acquired subtle powers" or "gained special abilities." A lot of people seem to think animals are just incredibly fierce and that they can control people easily. Actually, I’d say they aren’t fierce—they’re nothing before a true cultivator. Big deal if they’ve cultivated almost 1,000 years, a pinky is more than enough to crush them. So now that we know animals have innate abilities and can have some special abilities, there’s another law in this universe of ours: animals aren’t allowed to succeed in cultivation. That’s why you’ve read in ancient books that they’re killed once every several hundred years in large catastrophes or small calamities. When an animal’s gong grows to a certain level after some time, it’ll be destroyed, struck by a thunderbolt, or something else will happen to stop it from cultivating. That’s because they don’t have the essential nature that humans have, and they aren’t able to cultivate like humans do. It’s guaranteed they’d be demons if they succeeded in cultivation since they don’t have human traits. So they aren’t allowed to succeed in cultivation, and that’s why they’re slain by Heaven. They too know that. But like I said, the world is sliding downhill bigtime, and there’s no evil some people won’t do. When it’s hit this point, isn’t the world in danger?

"When something reaches the extreme it reverses"! We’ve discovered that every time the world was destroyed in the different cycles of prehistoric ages, it was always when the human race’s morals were terribly degenerate. Right now the dimension where we human beings exist and a lot of other dimensions are in great danger. And the same goes for other dimensions at this level. The beings there, too, want to leave as quickly as possible, they want to climb up to higher levels. They think that by going up to higher levels they can escape. But that’s easier said than done, isn’t it? If you want to cultivate you have to have a human body, and that’s one reason we’re seeing qigong practitioners get possessed.

Maybe some of you are thinking, "How come all those Great Enlightened Beings and all those powerful masters aren’t doing anything about it?" In our universe there’s another law: if it’s about something you’re seeking or just want, nobody can stop you. Here we’re teaching you to take the right path, and along with that, we’re teaching you the Law inside and out and encouraging you to have your own understanding of it, but it’s still up to you whether you decide to learn it. "The master leads you through the door, but cultivation is up to you." Nobody’s going to push you to cultivate. It’s up to you whether you cultivate. Or to put it another way, when you choose your own path, when you decide what you want, or when you’re trying to get something—nobody will stop you. They can only try to kindly persuade you.

You see some people doing qigong exercises there, but it’s actually the possessing spirit that gets it all. How did they attract possessing spirits? Just consider all the people around the country who practice qigong, do you know how many of them have possessing spirits on their backs? If I told you, a lot of people wouldn’t dare to do qigong. The number is scary! So what would bring something like that about? Those things are really wrecking the ordinary world. So how did something so serious come about? It’s people’s own doing. Because mankind is going bad, demons are everywhere. The worst is those fake qigong masters, they all have possessing spirits on their bodies, and when they pass on their practices they’re transmitting that stuff. Never in history were animals allowed to get on human bodies, and if they did they’d be killed—whoever saw it wouldn’t stand for it. But would you believe, in today’s world some people pray to them, they want them, and they make offerings to them. Some people won’t be too happy to hear this—"But that isn’t what I asked for!" You didn’t ask for it, but you asked for abilities, and would the Enlightened Beings of a true cultivation give them to you? Asking for those kinds of things is an attachment that ordinary people have, and that kind of desire has to go. Then who do you think would give them to you? Only demons and different kinds of animals that are in other dimensions. Isn’t what you did just like asking them for those things? So they came right over.

How many people are there who have proper thoughts when they do qigong exercises? When a person practices qigong he has to take virtue seriously, do good things for others, and be kind—he should discipline himself this way in every action and in every circumstance. Take all the people doing qigong exercises in the parks and all the ones doing them at home, and how many do you have thinking that way? To be honest, when some people are doing their qigong, who knows what they’re doing, they’ll be exercising away, swinging their bodies all around, and at the same time going off about things—"Ugh! That daughter-in-law of mine has no respect for me," "My mother-in-law is such a wretch!" Some people even go on and on, from talking about things at their company right on to headline news—there’s nothing they don’t babble about, and the things they don’t agree with will blow their fuse. Tell me, is that doing cultivation exercises? And then there are people doing a standing exercise right there, getting so tired their legs shake, but his mind isn’t at rest, "Things are so expensive these days. Prices have gone up, and my company can’t make the payroll. Why can’t my practice bring out some abilities? If I got some abilities I’d be a qigong master, and I’d get rich—I could make money by giving people treatments." Once he sees that other people’s abilities have come out he gets even more agitated. He gets obsessed with getting abilities, with getting the Third Eye, and with getting healing skills. Now think about it, isn’t that about as far as you can get from the nature of our universe, to be True, Good, and Endure?! He’s simply turning his back on it. To put it a little more seriously, he’s practicing in an evil way! But he isn’t aware of it. The more he thinks like that, the worse the thoughts are that his mind emits. That kind of person doesn’t have a handle on it, he doesn’t know he should take virtue seriously, and he thinks that by doing those movements he can get gong, and that he can get whatever he wants by seeking after it—he thinks that’s how it is.

A person attracts bad things precisely because his thoughts aren’t proper. Then the animal sees it, "This guy wants to get rich off qigong, and that guy wants to get famous and get abilities. Boy, his body is pretty good and what he has is pretty good. But his mind is really bad—he’s after abilities! Maybe he has a master, but even if he does, I’m not afraid." It knows that the master of a true cultivation will see him seeking abilities like that, and the harder he seeks after them the less likely the master will give him them, since that’s exactly an attachment he should get rid of. The more he thinks that way, the less the chance he’ll be given any abilities, so basically the more oblivious he is to how it works, the more he wants them and the worse his thoughts get. Finally that master gives a deep sigh when he sees that this guy is finished, and he won’t have anything more to do with him. Some people don’t have masters, and maybe somebody who happens to pass by will look after them for a while, since there are so many Enlightened Beings in different dimensions. An Enlightened Being might take a look at him, watch him and follow him for a day, and leave him after he sees that he’s not good. The next day another one comes by, takes a look at him, finds out he’s no good, and off he goes.

The animal knows that whatever kind of master he has, be it a regular one or a passing-by one, his master won’t give him what he’s seeking. Animals can’t see the dimensions where Great Enlightened Beings are, so they aren’t afraid, and they’ve taken advantage of a loophole: our universe has a law, that when somebody wants to seek something, or wants something, normally he shouldn’t be stopped. It takes advantage of that loophole—"He wants them, then I’ll give him them. It’s not wrong for me to help him, right?" So it gives them to him. At first the animal doesn’t dare get on his body, so it starts by giving him a little gong as a test-run. The person keeps seeking it, and one day he really gets it, and he can even heal people. The animal sees that it’s worked pretty well, and it’s just like playing a prelude before the show really starts. "He wants them, so I’ll get right on his body. And once I’m there I can give him more, I’ll pour it on!" "You want the Third Eye, right? This time I’ll give you it all." So it gets right on him.

While he’s having that thought about wanting it, right there doing that, his Third Eye pops open, he’s able to send out gong, and he’s even got a few little abilities. He’s beside himself with joy, and he thinks that he’s sought and sought these things and finally got them, and he thinks they came from his practice. But actually, his practice didn’t bring him anything. He thinks that he can see through a human body and see where the problems are in someone’s body. In reality, though, his Third Eye isn’t open one bit—it’s that the animal is controlling his brain. That animal sees things with its eyes and then reflects what it sees into his brain, and he thinks his Third Eye is open. "Want to send out gong? Go for it." When he holds out his hands to send out gong, the animal’s little paws extend out from behind his body. When he sends out gong, the forked tongue from the little snake’s head comes out to lick the sick or swollen area. There are a lot of things like this. Those spirits that possess these people come only because they asked for them.

So he seeks after them, he dreams about getting rich, and about getting famous. "Okay then!"—he gets abilities, he can heal people, and he can see with his Third Eye. That makes him happy. The animal takes a look, "You want to get rich, don’t you? Okay, I’ll make you get rich." It’s way too easy to control an ordinary person’s head. The animal can control a lot of people and make them come to him for treatments, and they’ll come in droves. Oh my goodness!—while he sees patients right here, it’s stirring up reporters over there to promote him in newspapers. It manipulates ordinary people to do these things. When someone who comes for a treatment doesn’t pay him enough, he won’t let them off the hook, and he’ll make you have a headache. What it comes down to is that you just have to give him a lot of money. The guy pulls in both fame and wealth—he’s made a bundle, he’s become well-known, and now he’s a qigong master. People like him usually don’t care about character and they’ll dare to say anything, "I’m second to none but Heaven." They go as far as saying they’re the reincarnations of well-known deities, like the Queen Mother or Jade Emperor, and they even go as far as saying they’re Buddhas. They haven’t really gone through character cultivation, so they seek abilities when they do their exercises and end up getting possessed by animals.

Maybe some of you are thinking, "What’s wrong with that? It’s okay as long as I can make money, or get rich, and I can get famous." That’s what a lot of people are thinking. But I’ll tell you, that animal isn’t doing it without a purpose, it turns out, and it doesn’t give you something for nothing. There’s a law in this universe: no loss, no gain. What does the animal get? I talked about this earlier, didn’t I? It’s trying to get that bit of essence in your body to cultivate into a human form, so it just gathers the essence from the human body. But there’s only this one share of essence in a human body, and if somebody wants to cultivate, he only has this one share. And if you let the animal take it from you, you can forget about cultivating—how would you cultivate then? You’ll have lost everything, and you won’t be able to cultivate at all. Maybe some people will say, "I don’t want to cultivate. I just want to get rich. All’s well as long as I have money. I couldn’t care less!" Look, I’ll tell you: you want to get rich, but after I explain how it really works, then you’ll change your mind. So what happens? If it leaves your body not too late your limbs will feel like lead, and you’ll be like that for good, because it drained you of too much of your essence. But if it leaves your body late, you will become a vegetable and lie in bed for the rest of your life hanging on by a thread. Even if you had money, would you be able to spend it? Even if you had fame, would you be able to enjoy it? Wouldn’t it be horrible?

These things have become really serious and they’re common among people who practice qigong these days. The animal doesn’t just possess the body, it also kills the person’s master soul, and it burrows into the person’s Niwan Palace and squats there. The person looks like a human being, but he’s not. You even see things like that nowadays. Mankind’s morals have changed, so when some people do bad things, and you tell them they’re doing bad things, they just don’t believe you. They think that making money, wanting money, and getting rich are their birthright, and that these are the right thing to do. So they harm other people, they hurt others, and they’ll stop at nothing to make money—they’ll do anything! The animal won’t gain if it doesn’t lose. Would it give you something for nothing? It wants to get the things that are in your body. Of course, we’d say that people invite all those troubles just because that idea they have isn’t right, and their thoughts aren’t proper.

Let’s see what our Falun Dafa has to say about this. When you cultivate in our discipline, as long as you can always keep up your character, "one good can overcome a hundred evils"—you won’t run into any trouble. On the other hand, if you can’t keep up your character well, if you seek after all sorts of things, you’re sure to invite trouble. Some people just can’t let go of the things they used to practice. We all know that you have to commit to one discipline when you do qigong—in true cultivation you just have to. Some qigong masters have written books, but so what. You know what, their books are such a mess they’re like those things they practice—snakes, foxes, and weasels, they’re all in there. When you read those books that stuff will jump out from the words. I have to tell you, those fake qigong masters outnumber true qigong masters by a lot, and you can’t tell who’s who. So you have to know what you’re doing. It’s not like I won’t settle for anything but your cultivating in my Falun Dafa. Actually, you can cultivate in the discipline of your choice. But there’s an ancient saying, "No true teachings for thousands of years, better than wild heresy for one day." So you really have to know what you’re doing, and really cultivate a true teaching. Don’t mix anything into your cultivation—don’t even add thoughts. Some people’s Law Wheels have gotten all out of shape. Why is that? They get defensive, "But I didn’t practice that other qigong." But whenever they do the exercises, their thoughts just keep pumping in the things they practiced before—wouldn’t that add it in? That’s all I want to say about spirit possession.

 

[○]

Really? :roll:

Please.. no fear momgering sgtWow. Please don't speak as if what your presenting is fact.

 

[anrchy]

This is an excerpt from the book about Spirit Possession. Please read it as I believe it can shed light on what you went through. DMT is actually dangerous contrary to what a lot of people believe:

Unless you have some sort of factual evidence or legit sources, please just stop right there.

 

[Vodsel]

That painfully long quote (let's not get into details about the contents) appears in a book from an expansionist religious movement founded in 1992 in China. Besides the selection of "laws of the universe" quoted here, you might also consider this:

As part of its emphasis on ethical behavior, Falun Gong's teachings prescribe a strict personal morality for practitioners, which includes abstention from smoking, drugs, gambling, premarital or extramarital sex, and homosexuality.[15][40] These behaviors are said to generate negative karma, and are therefore viewed as counterproductive to the goals of the practice.[41]

Which makes me wonder what is sgtWow doing here in the first place, if he takes the stuff so seriously.

To albertayler, previous posts have given good and sound advice to keep in mind. There is no need whatsoever to resort to ancient animal spirit possessions and modern cults to channel your questions and your integration process.

 

[Awakened conscious]

Ive come to the realization that for me and if you take the time to rip apart your "self" and "ego" then you will have clear sight of the wisdom and knowledge you've always possessed, that when I've had a bad trip I carefully analyse the visions and feelings and they have always pertained to something that needed to be changed, for instance I used to drink heavily I'm talking pantera balls to the wall everything alcohol freakin snorting a bottle of alcohol ive played guitar for 13 years We were jamming from arlington to Louisiana and every town in between it was total chaos all night all day party, and when I had this bad trip I saw daemons on my wall head banging while there flesh was falling and flying everywhere and as one crawled under another it ate the one standing only to stand itself and be eatin while head banging his flesh off as well , and within this bad trip I studied my actions saw my life and what it was and would've done to me and my body, I would killed or been killed by now , but I'm not because I processed this information wisely and do not drink at all anymore I was 16-21 then and believe me I was that guy that was doing it all the life of a party, "bad trips are a look at yourself a look at yourself naked spiritually and there's a force saying look at you is this what you want if so the delve into the chaos but if your choose life then wake up open the vale of wisdom and knowledge and most importantly love and you will find your way no matter what you know love is your key and let wisdom and knowledge be your path" as I've said before we must recrystallize the essence of god which is us for purity

 

[Awakened conscious]

Ive come to the realization that for me and if you take the time to rip apart your "self" and "ego" then you will have clear sight of the wisdom and knowledge you've always possessed, that when I've had a bad trip I carefully analyse the visions and feelings and they have always pertained to something that needed to be changed, for instance I used to drink heavily I'm talking pantera balls to the wall everything alcohol freakin snorting a bottle of alcohol ive played guitar for 13 years We were jamming from arlington to Louisiana and every town in between it was total chaos all night all day party, and when I had this bad trip I saw daemons on my wall head banging while there flesh was falling and flying everywhere and as one crawled under another it ate the one standing only to stand itself and be eatin while head banging his flesh off as well , and within this bad trip I studied my actions saw my life and what it was and would've done to me and my body, I would killed or been killed by now , but I'm not because I processed this information wisely and do not drink at all anymore I was 16-21 then and believe me I was that guy that was doing it all the life of a party, "bad trips are a look at yourself a look at yourself naked spiritually and there's a force saying look at you is this what you want if so the delve into the chaos but if your choose life then wake up open the vale of wisdom and knowledge and most importantly love and you will find your way no matter what you know love is your key and let wisdom and knowledge be your path" as I've said before we must recrystallize the essence of god which is us for purity

 

[AyahuascaJourney]

I can understand your fear, but I struggle with the idea of a "bad trip". Often times the medicine forces us into situations that are uncomfortable and unpleasant, but ultimately good for us. Please understand I am not trying to discount your experience, merely offer another way to understand it. It is possible, there there was a block in your energy that you had grown so accustomed to that it was disturbing and fearful when it was removed. It may also indicate that there is a part of you that is no longer needed. Instead of trying to explain the emotion and analyze it, try to connect with what you are feeling and release it to the universe.

 

[Elemotion]

Some of the best work that we do in our self-healing happens when we confront our shadow material. Coming face to face with our deepest fears provides us with the opportunity engage in dialogue with those fears, and ask them what they from us in order to heal. I offer the suggestion of being creative, perhaps in a way that opens up this dialogue. Perhaps these entities weren't stealing anything from you, but instead showing you something that needs attention. I would also suggest meditation of some sort, and if you can find a shaman or a counselor who is rooted in transpersonal/spiritual work to help you along, that would also be an option. Best wishes and healing energy to you as you work through this experience, you are not alone.