Having trouble integrating a bad trip

[Guyomech]

Definitely steer away from the fear. That black hole is always there for you and it's your task to keep perspective, keep faith in the process. You'll have the most powerful leverage over your situation if you view the incident as metaphor. I would echo the sentiments of other posts here that the coldness and loss could in fact be about leaving behind a comfort zone that you have outgrown. Like a favorite teddy bear, it may ache a little, but its a part of the process of growth.

I'd also echo the sentiments of Global and Elemotion- express this thing creatively. I'm an artist too and always use my experiences, good or bad, as fuel for inspiration. That's the best way to integrate this kind of thing.

Over the course of around 300 trips on various substances, four of them have been powerfully challenging for me. In retrospect, these incidents have been some of the most potent catalysts for change in my life. Hang tight, keep your chin up... It will all slot into place. You'll be stronger for it.

 

[Volvox]

Yep, like Guyomech and Tattvamasi are saying I'd agree with. Don't take it too seriously, you didn't really loose any part of your soul.

I had an experience where my brain was being eaten by a giant Caterpillar that was plowing into my forehead and stealing my ideas and welding itself into my neural network so it could influence my thoughts.

Our brains play lots of tricks on us. And I personally think all those entities and beings are just thoughts of our own brain playing tricks on us. The brain easily creates other personalities and entities when its off kilter. You can see this with split personality disorder or schizophrenia where someone is seeing fbi officers spying on them, etc.

I think when we go to this place, a lot of it is our own brain chemistry short circuiting in a similar way and presenting these anomalies temporarily. Its hard to separate what is really spiritual, vs what is some part of your subconsciousness taking over like it does when we dream.

And I've gotten that cool feeling before as well a few times.