Help me :(

[autumn287]

Hi people,

I am a housewife. 40 years of age, happily married with a teen daughter. My husband is caring, understanding and very kind. I haven't got a friend circle owing to the fact I never worked since I came to the UK in 1996. The people I know are just acquaintances. I have no spiritual background. I have no spiritual teachers or access to an ashram. I do not know any like minded people. I am a Hindu who is not particularly religious, you could call me spiritual. I have been reading about spirituality for some 2 years most.

I am a typical sansarik who used to watch funny Youtube videos for entertainment or do Google searches to kill time, when one day I stumbled upon this mantra,

Om purnam-adah purnam-idam
Purnaat purnam-udacyate.
Purnasya purnam-aadaaya,
purnam-eva-avashishyate.

My knowledge in Sanskrit is very poor but the 6 page long meaning of this sloka intrigued me. I could not understand a single word of its description at first, but, I did not give up. I still haven't.

The only first hand breakthrough I have had in all this so far is that we are all automated and there is no ownership to thoughts and action. A simple act of making tea while focusing deeply prove this FACT. And from there began my search for 'what more does our mind tricks us into believing'

Some further studying resulted in an intellectual answer .... 'pretty much everything that we believe.' But, this answer is still a theory, there has been no insight or an experience of the vastness beyond the limiting mind.

I feel so imprisoned in this body because of the sensory input's restrictiveness. The center of my existence is still 'in here' because of the limitation of senses, especially the sense of touch

It is so frustrating, almost cruel.

Please help, please please.

 

[7Entities]

Help with what exactly? Do you want to know other ways that the mind tricks ourselves?

 

[autumn287]

Thanks for the reply. Well I guess mind's job is only to trick. I am the mind, the illusion. I have manifested to ensure that I never realise that I am that which has manifested myself. lol I know it is gibberish but I have few words to explain how I take it all.

I am the illusion, I am the one under the illusion and I am also the illusionist. Its a game I am playing with myself while I am also mediating so as to keep the illusion intact. I meditate to call my own bluff.

A week ago I went into a void while meditating. I have not been able to do any better than that since. When/how do people go past this void. What am I missing?

Please look at this link ...

Is my meditation improving? - Welcome discussion - Welcome to the DMT-Nexus

I have asked a few questions there. I am wondering what is going on as I am a total beginner and have no guru or access to any spiritual schools.

Please help.

Hugs
Autumn

 

[sidefx]

Hola

what do you need help with love

I guess everything we perceive is sensory input Sight, Touch, Smell, Taste even our emotions are governed in some way by senses and chemicals being regulated to accumulate our reality.

So everything is Perceived as real by our senses, there is ever an in-between reality.

***when i partake in DMT a new sense is awoken like a flame of spirit, a sense that overrules all others


&&&&&&
I don't know how this relates but i wanted to add; i read in a science magazine that stated,
The more powerful they design their microscopes they are seeing on the smallest scales that matter pixelates and does not refine.

They did not know what this meant, take it how you will, i think it is just that everything is made up of smaller and smaller and smaller pieces?

 

[AluminumFoilRobots]

Well it sounds like you could use a good psychedelic experience. I mean, here you are on the DMT-nexus... do you use psychedelics?

If you are needing to "see" into your world-structure, I can think of nothing better.

 

[endlessness]

Welcome to the Nexus!

I know this is not exactly an introduction essay, but im wondering, why are you here? Why are you asking about meditation and spirituality/samsara/etc in this specific forum and not in some spirituality forum?

Have you used psychedelics or any interest in them?

As for your question for help, im still not sure what exactly you want help with, maybe if you try to formulate a specific question ?

Lastly, maybe thats not your question, and I might be wrong (correct me if so), but I feel from you this need for some confirmation from outside regarding your path, like someone that can soemhow help how to fill this existential burning you have, how to find what the spiritual path, how to answer what the heck is consciousness and free will and existence, what is ilusion and what is not. But while there are a lot of very intelligent people here, that can give you all sorts of wise feedback, I dont think anybody can ultimately really help you with this. In the end we are all also trying to find our place in this misterious existence, trying to make the best given the situation and our own potentials.

I can say that at least for me, it works to just not stress myself too much with this. Which doesnt mean stopping the search or path, of course.. At least the way I see it, we cannot make affirmations on the true nature of Reality, it might be all an illusion, a simulation, a dream, a trick from our mind, but we are here inside of this simulation so lets make the best of it, no? I think meditation can be great, a lot of people are really into it and can give you great tips and ideas. Personally I find my own peace in just living each day down to earth, like an active meditation, just trying to be mindful and aware of my own mental processes and habits, trying to be aware of how my actions affects others, and trying to be a healthy active person. It's AMAZING how simply eating well, exercising and having a hobby or a work you care for and being in good terms with the people you love, can fulfill you . And imo no amount of meditation can help you if those basic things arent there. Also for me, these 'down-to-earth' things are actually very spiritual, it's like planting earthly seeds and reaping spiritual trees, or something. And then for me, personally, there's psychedelics, of course. That isn't everyone's way, but they certainly have shown me (or helped me see) things I couldnt even begin to speak of, some of which have been translated and integrated into daily life and improving myself, others which are simply experiences of a higher order that have marked me forever even if I can't exactly put a finger how.

Dont know if my answer has some kind of direction, maybe that's fitting since your question also seemed to go in a few different directions, but just reaching out to you and making contact, wishing you well.

 

[jbark]

These are questions all thinking persons deal with. I know how frustrating and perplexing this is going to be to read, but:

Stop expecting answers - it is sufficient to ask, so long as you do not cease asking. Seeking has never been about destination, but process. The greater the questions the fewer the answers and the greater the number, and depth, of consequent questions...

Cryptic, perhaps, but would life truly be worth living were it any clearer?

Cheers & a hug back,

JBArk