i hope im home.

[evolvingmark]

Im unfortunately going to have to make this quick for my 8 hour journey has led me here with anxiety, relief, and wishing i hadnt done this on a small hand cramping grammar killing kindle. Im a florida boy that feels something internally tugging my attention away from societys accepted model of everything. Im really just now willing to self explore. Ive completely lost my identity other than being a father. That search lead me through a lot of c2cam and all that follows searching each area of the paranormal to eventually get to the only person that has calmed my rabid search for a begining point that many of you were at before you dove in. Ive never heard such familiar logic. Terrance is beyond describing.

So to bring my first post to an end....its been a long search. Im shaking with emotion. Anyone feel free if your in the central fl area to give me a shout. Im sure after some sleep and further reading of post by other newbies eill answer a lot. Hope one day my first experience will be shared and read to another soul on an almost similar emotional and spiritual dissatisfaction mainstream has left me. Thank you for this site!! Tired so sorry about any grammatical or spelling mistakes. Tablet makes me too impatient when tired for perfection.



Mark V.

P.s. after two previews already nervous i might've made a mistake on accepted verbatim.

 

[endlessness]

Welcome to the Nexus!

So did you try any psychedelics or other drugs in life?

Are you also interested in the chemical/extraction part of this whole thing, or more the experiential/subjective part?

Do you have more interest in oral dmt or vaporized, or both?

Be well!

 

[evolvingmark]

Endlessness,

Yes my all time greastest philosophical conversation was with a good female friend with some cow pasture treasures. Other than that really no true psychedelic experience. But I do have lots of synchronousities, deja vú, and just a general dissatisfaction of cultures idea of what supposed to matter in life and what their definition of success is. Im looking at all areas since im technically a pineal virgin when it comes to my new found spirituality. So i will be learning all areas and once i have my first experience take my direction from tbere.

 

[patiencepays]

Congrats on your profound realization... You sound like a version of myself from the distant past. My advice to you is that you have your entire life to come to further realizations, and have many beautiful experiences ahead of you (many dark ones as well, but that's life... the good is boring and almost meaningless without the bad). I would suggest reading lots of books, and doing lots of research. You should check out Ishmael, The Story of B, and My Ishmael by Daniel Quinn (if you have not yet already). This stuff may be right along the lines of what you are going through right now, from a philosophical standpoint. These books will not answer your questions, but will ask other questions that may provide more direction or focus (if you're into the subject material). Another great read: The Cosmic Serpent (by Jeremy Narby).