Hey people. I just had my first near blast off. And I immediately freaked and held onto reality as hard as I could.
After a minute or so of gripping to Earth with my eyes open, the momentum was lost and I felt comfortable knowing I wasn't going anywhere and relaxed into the remaining effects.
I think my basic problem is I was not well prepared, not in a mindset ready to let go and trust the experience. I've had a hard time approaching that, as I gave up most rituals years ago. In the past that stuff would have helped. Meditation seems like a good idea, but I haven't been regular in my meditation in about a year, so doing a prep meditation feels kind of phony, which doesn't sound like a good way to feel going into smoking. I could pray, as I do that, but while I do believe it would affect the outcome if the event, I'm not sure that it would do enough to leave me feeling sufficiently brave/humble/spacey/ready.
So, any advice on how to get ready / geared up / relaxed / in an appropriate headspace?
As for what freaked me out...the room just started to dissolve into space. I was looking at a wall and curtains. The curtains started doing a multiplication in mellow neon and white lined edges that were dancing all over the place, and the wall was in on the action despite its plainer starting point. But it was the sense of expanding blackness, and maybe also white light, in between all of the matter. It seemed as if it was surely going to open up to a point of no return, the room would vibrate out of existence, and I would float off to another place.
I just felt a big gut level response of "Not ready, nope! Abort!". It was pretty freaky for a moment thinking I may have no way to hang on and might be launched while in that fear.
The opening space thing is actually something I felt / saw a few times on salvia too, years ago. It freaked me out then too. I got past it on salvia by just dosing higher, not that I liked that much more. This seemed much more real though, somehow. To me, salvia always felt like an abandoned experiment of the universe, something that didn't actually lead anywhere, despite the big smoke and mirrors. This felt kind of like the legit version of the same phenomena.
After a minute or so of gripping to Earth with my eyes open, the momentum was lost and I felt comfortable knowing I wasn't going anywhere and relaxed into the remaining effects.
I think my basic problem is I was not well prepared, not in a mindset ready to let go and trust the experience. I've had a hard time approaching that, as I gave up most rituals years ago. In the past that stuff would have helped. Meditation seems like a good idea, but I haven't been regular in my meditation in about a year, so doing a prep meditation feels kind of phony, which doesn't sound like a good way to feel going into smoking. I could pray, as I do that, but while I do believe it would affect the outcome if the event, I'm not sure that it would do enough to leave me feeling sufficiently brave/humble/spacey/ready.
So, any advice on how to get ready / geared up / relaxed / in an appropriate headspace?
As for what freaked me out...the room just started to dissolve into space. I was looking at a wall and curtains. The curtains started doing a multiplication in mellow neon and white lined edges that were dancing all over the place, and the wall was in on the action despite its plainer starting point. But it was the sense of expanding blackness, and maybe also white light, in between all of the matter. It seemed as if it was surely going to open up to a point of no return, the room would vibrate out of existence, and I would float off to another place.
I just felt a big gut level response of "Not ready, nope! Abort!". It was pretty freaky for a moment thinking I may have no way to hang on and might be launched while in that fear.
The opening space thing is actually something I felt / saw a few times on salvia too, years ago. It freaked me out then too. I got past it on salvia by just dosing higher, not that I liked that much more. This seemed much more real though, somehow. To me, salvia always felt like an abandoned experiment of the universe, something that didn't actually lead anywhere, despite the big smoke and mirrors. This felt kind of like the legit version of the same phenomena.
