Tek said:
I've never been prone to hero worship. In fact where many people in my grade school used to say their dad or Jesus was their personal hero, I never had someone that I looked up to for my entire youth. It wasn't until my first psychedelic experience, my first real breakthrough actually, that I found someone I truly admired and that is Terence Kemp McKenna. I love this man more than any other man I've met or listened to and feel a connection with him on an entirely different level.
It is me, Visty.
I never had such hero's myself. But when I started listening to McKenna...wait.
I was in London the day he died. I heard it on the news there. He was presented well, I don't remember how he was...extroduced. I was already smoking weed...so it struck a little with me but thought nothing of it.
More than a decade later I started to listen to McKenna. I have listened to mp3's over and over and have absorbed much of what he was about. He has become a hero for me, while I am a down to earth, but also sometimes emotional guy. And I feel it as a very deep personal regret I was never at a lecture or able to ask him a question or share a thought.
Then again, no christian alive today ever met Jesus in person either...
Speaking of this connection, I find this thread an appropriate place to ask this. Has anyone else ever had an experience on DMT or another psychedelic where Terence pops into your mind and when it happens it feels like you and he are the same person? Like, in a metaphysical 'many-lives' interpretation of this, has anyone else ever experienced feeling like they were connected to Terence McKenna across time and space?
No, but once, not long ago, on shrooms, I tried to find McKenna in there. I called out in some way you know how it is. I got an answer, but it is hard to believe he was really there or just my heartfelt desire to touch him somehow. It was gone quickly. Or maybe the ally just humored me in my desire. I cannot know, but..if it was really him, the implications of something of McKenna surviving within the mushroom psychedelic experience just...I mean, that is awesome!
This has happened to me twice and each time has caused me to feel more and more of a connection to the things he has said. Specifically giving an example, this one time I was tripping hard on shrooms and had Terence's voice come into my mind (I wasn't listening to any of his lectures) and say 'you should try asking the thing what it is for itself'.
I always do that. He said it gets really weird then, you heard him about that so no need to repeat, I will be banned any second now so no time. But to me it doesn't really get weird. The ally protects me or doesn't want to show that deeper core of it to me. I respect that. But the ally gave me a name. Maybe there is another part of that name I have not heard yet.
Maybe my entheogen use has caused me to lose some marbles along the way, but it's happened twice so I was wondering if I was the only one.
McKenna spoke about how we all contribute to the trance. He spoke about ketamine as an empty house. Surely, if he was right, some part of his teachings, that are carried by people like you and me, remains alive in the trance. He added a lot to it with his mind and his supporters. But..I do not wish to ...disturb his peace by dragghing him in front of me to satisfy my personal need to be closr to him. It is too much worship and he never wanted that.
RIP Terrence. I would...almost...giver up all my personal theories and beliefs it would mean there is an afterlife where I can meet you after death. I need to get a grip.
mckenna
