nexalizer
Rising Star
My relationship with methoxetamine (MXE) begun last year.
An innocent attempt at just 10mg, treading lightly as usual with new substances, and a dissociative at that (my first - and only, so far).
After an hour or two of apparent lack of effects, I went cycling. That's more or less when I noticed there was some impairment present; impossible to keep proper balance.
With some psychedelics in the way, and many travels, MXE stayed in the figurative drawer for about a year.
When I decided to explore this one again, it was at a measly 20mg.
Very noticeable and distinct effects could be felt even at such a low dose: skin is very numb, robowalk, and unexpectedly (for me), faint waves of euphoria, bliss.
There was something about the 20mgish range that appears to have made me fiendish for moar MXE (anticipating this from many online tales, the stash was unacessible; this ended up meaning that the nearby 2C-B joined the party, an interesting combination in itself: the usually very present (for me) physical aspects of the 2C-B were nearly entirely absent, because of the dissociation.
Nevertheless, minus some (perceived?) overheating, it was a most productive experience, though having tried it now, I'd say it's a waste of good 2C-B.
The next attempt was at 30mg: meditation was effortless. Extremely grounded. Very introspective, mental imagery dramatically increased. Some mild synesthesia going on.
Which brings us to yesterday. 40mg of MXE, in search of answers pertaining some questions presently on my mind about directions to take in life.
Well, it ended up being nothing of the sort, the trip. Instead I was pushed the furthest I've been in the MXE space, with dramatically more dissociation, an extremely active, visual and fluid imagination, zero emotions, and essentially no body if I closed my eyes and started paying attention to what was going on.
I saw apocalyptic visions of robots swarming the earth, military robots. Earlier in the day an article about someone anticipating fully autonomous military robots by 2025 caught my attention; the thought had been on my mind on and off throughout the day, "do we have the maturity to handle this level of technology?"
And from that thought that had been lingering in my mind, I suspect the contents of the visions materialized from.
It was not scary at all. I remarked to a few nexians on the chat that had this been LSD, I would've probably freaked out at the Arnolds overtaking the earth (in somewhat graphic detail).
With the MXE, however?
"I" was so distant that it bore no reaction on "my" part. It was a movie in the mind, and I was watching it, from a distance.
The next few hours were spent connecting with myself, finding the center, and observing, sometimes engaging, the myriad of thoughts (in visual form; words were long gone at this point, though I could summon them if needed - the visual form was much more entertaining though) that came up.
At some point, well after the peak, I decided to add some cannabis to the mix.
With psychedelics, for me, this is almost always a bad idea.
With the MXE, it worked beautifully.
The hypercreativity from the weed manifested all the same, but there was no mental fog, no feeling of being stoned (though obviously I was). Extremely functional.
A lot of writing and introspection took place.
And today (one day later), as I braved a walk outside, drenched in the rain from the storm that was coming in fast from the sea (beautiful sight, thunderstorms over the ocean), I realized: I have enough ideas and insights to go on, and visiting the altered landscape, at least for a month or two, seems deleterious.
For this reason I'm taking a break. There is a lot of action that must be taken, and for once, smoalking moar will not do it.
I am however very glad to have had the chance to experiment with MXE. So far, it seems like an incredibly interesting substance, and I have just scratched the surface.
In due time, I will resume these explorations, and continue to share my findings.
p.s: I'll be around the forum & chat, so this is not a goodbye
An innocent attempt at just 10mg, treading lightly as usual with new substances, and a dissociative at that (my first - and only, so far).
After an hour or two of apparent lack of effects, I went cycling. That's more or less when I noticed there was some impairment present; impossible to keep proper balance.
With some psychedelics in the way, and many travels, MXE stayed in the figurative drawer for about a year.
When I decided to explore this one again, it was at a measly 20mg.
Very noticeable and distinct effects could be felt even at such a low dose: skin is very numb, robowalk, and unexpectedly (for me), faint waves of euphoria, bliss.
There was something about the 20mgish range that appears to have made me fiendish for moar MXE (anticipating this from many online tales, the stash was unacessible; this ended up meaning that the nearby 2C-B joined the party, an interesting combination in itself: the usually very present (for me) physical aspects of the 2C-B were nearly entirely absent, because of the dissociation.
Nevertheless, minus some (perceived?) overheating, it was a most productive experience, though having tried it now, I'd say it's a waste of good 2C-B.
The next attempt was at 30mg: meditation was effortless. Extremely grounded. Very introspective, mental imagery dramatically increased. Some mild synesthesia going on.
Which brings us to yesterday. 40mg of MXE, in search of answers pertaining some questions presently on my mind about directions to take in life.
Well, it ended up being nothing of the sort, the trip. Instead I was pushed the furthest I've been in the MXE space, with dramatically more dissociation, an extremely active, visual and fluid imagination, zero emotions, and essentially no body if I closed my eyes and started paying attention to what was going on.
I saw apocalyptic visions of robots swarming the earth, military robots. Earlier in the day an article about someone anticipating fully autonomous military robots by 2025 caught my attention; the thought had been on my mind on and off throughout the day, "do we have the maturity to handle this level of technology?"
And from that thought that had been lingering in my mind, I suspect the contents of the visions materialized from.
It was not scary at all. I remarked to a few nexians on the chat that had this been LSD, I would've probably freaked out at the Arnolds overtaking the earth (in somewhat graphic detail).
With the MXE, however?
"I" was so distant that it bore no reaction on "my" part. It was a movie in the mind, and I was watching it, from a distance.
The next few hours were spent connecting with myself, finding the center, and observing, sometimes engaging, the myriad of thoughts (in visual form; words were long gone at this point, though I could summon them if needed - the visual form was much more entertaining though) that came up.
At some point, well after the peak, I decided to add some cannabis to the mix.
With psychedelics, for me, this is almost always a bad idea.
With the MXE, it worked beautifully.
The hypercreativity from the weed manifested all the same, but there was no mental fog, no feeling of being stoned (though obviously I was). Extremely functional.
A lot of writing and introspection took place.
And today (one day later), as I braved a walk outside, drenched in the rain from the storm that was coming in fast from the sea (beautiful sight, thunderstorms over the ocean), I realized: I have enough ideas and insights to go on, and visiting the altered landscape, at least for a month or two, seems deleterious.
For this reason I'm taking a break. There is a lot of action that must be taken, and for once, smoalking moar will not do it.
I am however very glad to have had the chance to experiment with MXE. So far, it seems like an incredibly interesting substance, and I have just scratched the surface.
In due time, I will resume these explorations, and continue to share my findings.
p.s: I'll be around the forum & chat, so this is not a goodbye
