Recovering from PTSD, Depression and Addiction

[Cosmic Dust]

Hello, I love to be called Cosmic Dust, I'm a 21 years old student, I study sociology, psychology and criminology which are topics I love .
I decided to become a part of this forum after years of reading about you and doing my own research .
I had a quite traumatic childhood and grew up with poor coping mechanisms in life, abusing weed opiates and dissociatives ( DCK - 2f-DCK- 3-HO-PCP) just to go through life in a constant derealization .
I also got hooked on Diazepam (50mg/a day) but I'm on a tapper used to do even more bromazepam and zopiclone...

And now that I have some willpower again thanks to depression receding I decided that all those drugs were bad the way I used them, but I still have lots of carving .

I found through experience that psychedelics and especially some Tryptamines helped me a lot for that "wake up" I'm doing harmful thing to me ( Mushrooms, DPT and micro dosing 5 MeO DMT and DMT )

I already have some degree of experience and done lots of research but I would be glad to share my experiences and mostly learn from the wisdom of other people out there .

My goals now are to tapper off diazepam so I can finally be free of with, quit smoking weed mindlessly but only vaping or using it orally once in a while, learning to control my mood, impulses and anxieties better and learn more about only using psychedelics anymore and resisting to the dissociative cravings .

 

[Seeingisbelieving]

I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time. As a younger man, I worked through a lot of traumas with psilocybin, 2cb,2ce, mdma, lsd and dmt. The molecules helped me learn acceptance about things I could not change and gave me very valuable learning experiences regarding the negative environments I was exposing myself too. I do not believe that the molecules are a fix all for everyone though. I've still done all of the hard work myself and have even started going to therapy because I needed the extra help navigating through the shit show that is my life.

After using psychedelics I quit abusing alcohol, I quit nicotine and have begun to reevaluate my diet. I do not believe that all of these changes resulted from psychedelic use but I do know that psychedelics have played a huge role in my decision making throughout the past 10 years BUT all of this time later I am still facing the same reality as before. At the end of the day YOU will be responsible for making the necessary changes to your life, not psychedelics.

I hear you about the cannabis though. I smoked through a quarter pound the first four months of the year and did not like the effects even though my mood was better, I was more relaxed and I felt more creative. I've decided to limit my use to every couple weeks or month and in place of smoking vaping or whatever I try to get outside and get some exercise. I feel much better than before and much more motivated. Try daily exercise out for yourself and tell me what you think after one month.

I've never found myself addicted to prescription medicines or hard drugs so I cannot offer insight into any of that but know that there are members here who struggle with drug addiction. It's awesome that you are speaking out and I am glad that you are taking the first step to acknowledging that you want to break the cycle and change for the better. Good for you, cosmic dust.

 

[ShamanisticVibes]

I can relate to having poor coping mechanisms. I did not realize this until I was 33 years old, so taking notice at your age is a positive thing. From experience, opiate abuse/addiction can wear a person down to their bones and more, and to survive them is a feat in and of itself. While disassociatives can be very mind expanding for a certain type of person, they are often the opposite for people like us (by "us" I mean people who have issues with addiction/abuse). 5-meo-dmt has also helped me to understand and work through my shortcomings. Keep your head up and just remember that moderation, even with non-addictive compounds such as psychedelics, is key.

Thank you for sharing, I know how difficult it can be to put yourself out there, especially when it comes to drug abuse. If you ever needed to just get things off your chest, you are always welcome to send me a message. We are all continuous works-in-progresses.

 

[Cosmic Dust]

Thanks for your welcoming and supportive responses
Indeed, I know it's not the main goal of this forum but I'll check to see if there are subjects about drugs and psychological recovery, or I may write my own journal perhaps .

This experience with 5 MeO DMT over a week moved surely that's not not something to abuse or to use mindlessly .
I also have some other psychedelics that I'd like to use (LSA, LSD, DPT, DMT) but I take my time happily I don't feel a craving to do it again like dissociatives, after an psychedelic trip, I would feel scared to trip again for a few weeks .

Though I also found great results with small doses (like 1g of shrooms or 30-50ug of LSD) a few times a week but rarely like once or twice a month .

I'm meditating daily and also getting into breathing exercises those help a lot indeed . I feel like if I don't do it, it's even harder to control my feelings and it helps for the carvings . Or just deeply thinking about the bad consequences of the abused drugs ...

 

[Voidmatrix]

Warm welcome my strong friend.

From the way things sound, you seem to be on a very healing and healthy path. One of the best things we can do for ourselves is calling ourselves out on our bs. Seems like you've already done that through reflection and action with prior substance use.

I find the craving relative to psychedelics to be similar to getting the itch to go camping, or make music, etc. Unlike many other substances where one feels they need to do it.

Please do share ant insights or information or ideas you have regarding psychological recovery. This one here, started by Seeisbelieving, may be of interest to you.

Keep on keeping on. You sound like you're making great progress.

One love