Scared, Anxious, and Reluctant. Please Help!

[EDawg420]

So i have acquired some Orange/yellow Powder DMT. I've seen 2 people use it now through the Volcano. One came back saying it was amazing but too intense (It was his first time), and the other who i would consider a Psychonaut, loaded up 70mg. At first he was just chilling but soon after he got up and stumbled to the hallway outside my door. I coerced him back to the seat where he sat and mumbled to himself, "why, why did i do this". Now after about 4-5 more minutes of him looking confused and lost he snapped back and started laughing and telling me how amazing it was and that i need to try it.

My knowledge on the the orange DMT is that it can have additional alkaloids left in it. The only reason it is orange is because of those impurities. Now if this is true, could it have lasting effects ? I figured i'd ask because it was almost an hour after my friend went and he said he could still kinda feel the effects. Now he did smoke a couple bowls afterwards with me, but my friend is not one to just make up stories.

Now i have done DMT about 7 times and i have always loved the experience, but it has been so long since i have went i cannot seem to commit to the experience. The complete loss of this reality is terrifying to me now, and i feel like because i have waited and seen so many others go before me, i am doomed for a bad journey.

Additionally a while back when i was first introduced to DMT 6 months ago, i spent a good potion of a night reading right here on DMT-Nexus all the trips i could, from the best to the most horrific. Some of the writers here painted some really scary ideas in my head and now i can't help but to have a panic attack right before i commit.

Just wondering if anybody else had some similar hesitancies and found a way to stop being such a wussy and just do it. I've thought about drinking a couple shots before just to loosen up a bit, but i don't want to be influenced during the trip. Besides i hate being drunk, always feel like shit the next day.

Please someone shed some light on this scared traveler, i remember how amazing it was when i broke through but i can't remember the courage i had to take me there.

 

[Eliyahu]

Well, here is my humble advice.

If you think purity is an issue, then you can wash your spice. Very easy to do, the details for the procedure you can find on this sight with the greatest of ease.

So then it comes down to fear. One should not completely do away with fear, it is there for a reason. The best thing to do IMO is learn to control your fear instead of letting it control you. Think of it this way, you fear therefore you respect.. If you were fear-less then I would be concerned but by proceeding with respect you are already on the right track.

Personally the best way for me to control my fear is by way of rationalizing with myself....asking myself do I really want this? Of course the answer is always yes.

Also you could rationalize by asking yourself what exactly are you afraid of? The demons/dark entities? Yourself? Alien/Entity encounters?

if it's the devil your afraid of I'm not going to tell you he doesn't exist because that would be a fairy tale IMO. I will tell you however that if the devil exists then god exists as well, if dark entities exist then light entities exist, therefore the universe is in balance and you have nothing to fear...

Think of it this way, if the universe created you then why be afraid to fall backwards into it's arms...?

The universe will catch you and not let you fall...as long as your intentions are focused and set on self correction/ learning and having respect you will have nothing to worry about.

Your creator is not out to hurt you or frighten you only to help you learn for yourself and to aid you in achieving self correction.

 

[somethingsintheway]

Your feelings are completely normal. I will tell you that almost everytime I do it I am scared and need to talk myself into it. I've hardly ever had what one might call a bad experience. It's all in your frame of mind. Just take the time and meditate before you hit it, make sure your intentions are right. 7mg is a really really low dose, I personally would never do under 30 and when I introduce people to it for the first time I almost always give them 50 and it always turns out good. Make sure set and setting are good and you should be good to go. When i go I make sure I have a playlist set ahead of time. I listen to the songs frequently throughout the day to make sure there are no "negative" vibes in the music. If I want to totally make sure I pick the most upbeat and cheerful music possible. Just tell yourself no matter how afraid you are of the experience now you will most likely come out of the experience loving it and wanting to go right back. Good luck!

P.S. Just man up and do it, you know your going to do it sooner or later so stop playing around!

 

[Leon Trout]

7mg is a really really low dose, I personally would never do under 30 and when I introduce people to it for the first time I almost always give them 50 and it always turns out good.

^^^ that right there... i myself find sub-breakthrough doses to be very unpleasant... i have a reputation for smoking "too much" in a single session because i want to make damn sure i get past this uncomfortable threshold...

 

[somethingsintheway]

I absolutely agree with Leon, sub breakthrough = bad, unpleasant! Some will disagree with that of course, but I've never had anyone complain that more is worse when I've introduced them to it, they always have a blast at higher doses

 

[EDawg420]

@ Eliyahu, Thanks for your words of wisdom, i feel closer to being able to let go now. I think you are right though, i am quite uncertain about those bad entities, and this makes it difficult i guess.

I edited the post, yeah 7mg would be horribly low, i meant 70mg. My instrument of measure reads it as .07

 

[Meternik]

Just now i went through that.
I haven't broken through yet, but i had about 4 cups of coffee today and before i decided to smoke some spice i was drinking a Dr. Pepper.

Needless to say my heart was already racing because of the coffee and trying to calm it down didn't work.

I decided to push through it and smoke anyway, but it didn't do.
The more i smoked the more my heart raced.

This is a great example of setting. How could i calm my heart and mind if i am caffeinated?

I guess i will try again tomorrow.

I'm glad i am not alone on having bodily fears of this.

 

[BlueidPirate]

I too, find it hard if it has been a while since the last. I seems to be easier once I get one down, like going back to kindergarten. Plus it's a teacher, and you have to want to learn. I think this go's for a lot of things!

 

[Coastal_Shaman]

I agree with what people here are saying about sub-breakthrough doses being unpleasant. My mentality is this: If I can muster up the courage to trip and be able to let everything I know dissapear in a few hits than I can do anything in life. There is nothing on this planet that can scare me more than spice, absolutely nothing. That being said, having that courage to let go and just give in to the trip allows me to have some of the most incredible and positive trips ever with little to no negative trips at all.

C_S

 

[Fondoo]

A man goes to knowledge like he goes to war... Cheers!
Good fortune mate. Still hard for me to let go, but the 12 trips in have been absolutely worth it.

 

[Coastal_Shaman]

The most important thing to remember in life is: Don't look back, your not going that way... With this attitude you can accomplish anything.

C_S

 

[arcanum]

Think of it this way, if the universe created you then why be afraid to fall backwards into it's arms...? .

Very nice, that's a great quote!

 

[mescaline-man]

Just now i went through that.
I haven't broken through yet, but i had about 4 cups of coffee today and before i decided to smoke some spice i was drinking a Dr. Pepper.

Needless to say my heart was already racing because of the coffee and trying to calm it down didn't work.

I decided to push through it and smoke anyway, but it didn't do.
The more i smoked the more my heart raced.

This is a great example of setting. How could i calm my heart and mind if i am caffeinated?

I guess i will try again tomorrow.

I'm glad i am not alone on having bodily fears of this.

Yeah i think a good healthy diet would definetley help, i watched a video on youtube of this guy that said to eat nothing but raw food & healthy liquids for a week and then try it and he said the experience is overwhelmingly positive. I have yet to try dmt but from the sound of your experience it sounds like a good idea. When my heart races on weed i start flipping out so i know a little how you feel.

Elyahu- i like that quote too :thumb_up:

Has anyone tried a "traditional" fast before smoking dmt, of nothing but raw foods and healthy drinks etc.? Or juice fasting for a couple days or going so far as water fasting? I did a water fast for 2 almost 3 days and that shit is rough and it will break you down lol.

 

[entheogenadvocate]

I absolutely agree with Leon, sub breakthrough = bad, unpleasant! Some will disagree with that of course, but I've never had anyone complain that more is worse when I've introduced them to it, they always have a blast at higher doses

I disagree with this statement, but that is what makes the Nexus and entheogens fascinating tools to facilitate spiritual growth and overcome emotional issues that have been buried for years.

However, one of the main reasons I disagree with this statement may be due to the fact that I really prefer drawn out changa sessions where I slowly lead up to a breakthrough. To backtrack slightly, I guess I do in a way agree with this statement, because sub breakthrough doses can be unpleasant since they allow your internal thought processes to continue on as your world begins to change/fade away.

I view this "unpleasant feeling" as the initial stage of dealing with whatever crap I have built up in my mind and spirit. As each individual anxiety comes to the surface, I try to face it head on and determine why it is bringing me such anxiety.

Heading straight for the breakthrough will prevent some of this anxiety, but it could also eliminate a lot of what this amazing molecule can teach you IMHO. I love the feeling I get after an hour of Changa yoga, where I realize I've worked through all the thoughts that are holding me back, and I can go for a full breakthrough with a clear conscience and a calm mind.

Sorry for the rambling, but in short, I would suggest you embrace the fear and anxiety and try to determine its source, rather than try to eliminate the feelings themselves. If you face your fears head on, they will eventually fade away, and courage will take their place.

I hope this helps. Peace and Happy Journeys

 

[kpkp123]

I have way less experience with the spice than many on here. But I do know what you mean about being very anxious before trying it. I usually like to blast off after a few glasses of wine. I don't know if this is normal or even recommended, but it helps me with the pre flight anxiety. I have had a couple experiences that were very uncomfortable, No horror stories. But I have definitely came back a few times and been glad that that particular journey was over. If you are really anxious about it then maybe just wait for another time. There is no shame in waiting until you are more comfortable.

 

[ZazenKaizen]

I've not broken through yet but at 30mg in a GVG my body was violently shaking at times. Is this similar to other experiences with sub-breakthrough dosages? It was as if I was stuck in no man's land between 'here' and 'there' but couldn't make it to either.

 

[d*l*b]

yeah 7mg would be horribly low, i meant 70mg. My instrument of measure reads it as .07

Although everyone is different I think 70mg is a very large dose if vaped correctly using an efficient tool. I have been there and past that using traditional bongs and pipes but they are wasteful. Using an efficient pipe like the GVG and I suspect (haven’t tried) the Volcano. 40mg is my upper limit, generally I go for 30–33mg and this tends to be world and reality shattering.

 

[DisEmboDied]

For me I just set everything up without thinking at all. Then I meditate and pray to have a good experience to whomever, and then I just do it. Basically for me, I don't think about it or I get too scared.

I am always glad that I did it afterwards!....

Don't think about it too hard until after the experience or you may never do it

 

[Welcome Home]

Lie down with relaxing Celtic music, or harps. Sit and think for an hour or so, regulating your breathing and keeping it steady. Load yourself up a small dose about half an hour through your breathing session, then sit back and relax again. After this, you should lose a decent portion of your anxiety. Test the waters of your new DMT about a half hour after packing your dose, play with doses until you feel comfortable enough to really pack a bowl. This has always lead to more enjoyable trips for me, seeing as I lose the fear that I have of auditory hallucinations if I ease into them throughout the session. Just remember, regardless of what happens, it was an experience that you will ALWAYS come back from, perhaps with enlightenment or questions. Always.

 

[Ritalin]

I like small doses right before I get on my drum set. Turns me from a normal guy to a full on human being.