Void's Journey Into Silence

[Voidmatrix]

That's my problem with most people - we all suffer in our comfort zones, and no one wanders beyond them. I'm a part of this bs and just as stuck

Our comfort zones aren't explicitly physical, and not to disagree, but there are other ways in which we can move outside that as well... philosophy is very uncomfortable

One love

 

[northape]

If it helps, all of my traveling outside the country (which I was lucky to do) was all cultural immersion and volunteer work in poorer countries (South Africa and Brazil). A big ol backpack and hostels and we traveled through each country.

Regarding what we're suffering for, I think we still have to care enough about ourselves in order to make that choice. We have to claim our sovereignty, etc. That's where I am now.

I'm somewhere nearby

Our comfort zones aren't explicitly physical, and not to disagree, but there are other ways in which we can move outside that as well... philosophy is very uncomfortable

I feel like a convict who only has access to a library
The other day I asked myself: Why do you still work with medicine? I honestly don't have a clear answer...

There are many factors (climate and health included), but I don't have a clear aim at the moment. If it's about healing, most of it is behind me. And after all the work, I just find myself in territory that normals reach by default. If anything, all my frustration is about myself and where to go from now on. My healing was a decade-long project, so it is kind of part of my personality at this point. It feels like it's time to move on, though.

 

[Voidmatrix]

I feel like a convict who only has access to a library
The other day I asked myself: Why do you still work with medicine? I honestly don't have a clear answer...

Speaking from personal experience, be careful with that one. I got caught up in this and only recently broke out. What helped was realizing, for certain reasons why, the answer is ineffable, escaping words. Do you think that may be accurate for you?

And after all the work, I just find myself in territory that normals reach by default. If anything, all my frustration is about myself and where to go from now on. My healing was a decade-long project, so it is kind of part of my personality at this point. It feels like it's time to move on, though.

Sounds like maintenance of the work to preserve what's been done already.

One love

 

[northape]

Speaking from personal experience, be careful with that one. I got caught up in this and only recently broke out. What helped was realizing, for certain reasons why, the answer is ineffable, escaping words. Do you think that may be accurate for you?

Ineffable may be a good way to describe it. I feel like medicine became a part of me and my persona. It is not like I need it all the time, but I see no fault in going on a medicinal journey. Perhaps my use pattern will change and I will find a new balance. I had such a clear need for it for years, and now it feels like visiting a good friend or something.

Sounds like maintenance of the work to preserve what's been done already.

One love

Most likely you are right. I will let it brew in me for a while and see where it leads. These moods generally signify some change in myself.
Yeah, a break from medicine ended up being shakier than medicine itself...

Thank you

 

[Voidmatrix]

I feel like medicine became a part of me and my persona

Some people are into psychedelics. Some ARE psychedelic. You fall into the latter.

Yeah, a break from medicine ended up being shakier than medicine itself...

Kinda interesting how that happens isn't it?

One love

 

[ommani]

On the topic concerning the relatively of hardships and sorrows, I can think of no better song than this one…

 

[northape]

On the topic concerning the relatively of hardships and sorrows, I can think of no better song than this one…

Thank you

Kinda interesting how that happens isn't it?

Yeah, it is like a dam breaking or something. I've got lots of questions for myself. Yesterday, I tried to see what I find meaningful in life, and sadly enough, there is not much.

This civilization, society, the people around me, work and shopping, mundane interactions - everything that surrounds me really feels like a dream. I am old enough to get that it is all temporary and nothing stays the same. We are in a constant flux, and only our being is silent amidst this chaos. People try to put meaning into meaningless things and work hard to convince themselves of their fairy tales. You can choose any channel you like in this show: sex, violence, religion, or politics. On top of that, we are animals and need our basics covered. I cannot get the life I desire, and I suffer because of it. The State sees me as just one more sheep, a slave with little value. I am so tired of all this bs we call life that I see close to no meaning in it. And my problem is mostly with humans and human society. It is total insanity, but very few want to stop for a moment and look at it.

The only refuge I could come up with yesterday is God (life force, being, nature, reality). I do not have a clear definition of what God means, but for me, it is a force that makes everything alive. I see no value in the crazy human world. All the common carrots do not work on me anymore. All I can see is the complete insanity of it all. Sadly, very few people would get it, and we all need companionship.

Amen