Rockhopper
Rising Star
I want to throw this out there to see who else can connect with me on this. The closest thing I can come to call it is a severe state of unwelcome defined by those that keep the gate; the ones you encounter seconds after fully blasting off.
I've been extracting and smoking DMT both regularly and irregularly since around July of 2014. I use the basic no-wash method with MHRB. I have used both pre-ground powder and stripped bark. I usually use a coffee grinder to break down the bark a bit before adding the chems. My end result is typically always circular disc-shaped yellow crystals. I vaporize with a basic glass oil burner water pipe that can produce quite a bit of vapor.
I always inspect my mood in fairly high detail prior to even loading up and getting ready to enter the other realm. I always make sure I do not feel any unresolved stress or anxiety before beginning, since I have gone in a few times while I wasn't in the right mood, and almost immediately I will be greeted by a presence that more or less says to me through through telepathic messaging that seems to connect with me through all of my bodily senses as well as some I have only come to know through DMT, "This is not the time.", and that would typically be followed by a very intense feeling of unwelcome. This feeling of unwelcome is so hard to describe. It is a very disappointing feeling to say the least. The trip lasts just a long as usual, but it is almost like I am standing there, knowing I am there, and shouldn't be, and I am continually disappointing the gate keepers. Had I gone in at an appropriate time, they would have greeted me with great welcome and would have showed me what they wanted to. It is exceedingly difficult to describe, but the feeling of unwelcome is delivered on more levels than I could ever communicate.
I had a powerful experience about a week ago after smoking DMT for a second time in the same day. I usually don't finish what I put in my pipe in one shot. I usually do 3 or 4 sessions in one day, spaced out by about an hour, and I usually only go in one day a week. Each sessions consists of about 2 massive rips. I have taken 3 before, but most people reading this probably know how difficult it is to get that 3rd one in. This brings me to last week. My first session had been quite fun. I was sitting in my back yard at about 10 am. It was about 55 degrees F out, clear skies and sunny, so I had a hooded sweatshirt and jeans on. I took two large rips, and just after taking the second, I looked to my side, and carefully set my pipe and torch lighter on the ground, then sat back and closed my eyes. Through many of my trips, specific shapes have followed me. The most common one is a rotating cube with a + sign on it. It is usually somewhat illuminated, and there are usually many of these; typically more than I could ever count. In this trip, they merged together to create two entities, each with 8 arms (I think). Their entire bodies were made up of these rotating cubes with the + signs on them. They began intermingling in a dance that eventually appeared to be very much like wrestling, except it was occuring in a space without gravity. As always, this is what I can remember from the trip; the rest? Your guess is as good as mine. I came out of the trip feeling extremely motivated and refreshed, which is typically how I feel after a very positive trip. I went back inside, put my pipe on the counter, did some things around the house and enjoyed the post-trip vibrations.
About an hour later, I went back outside, and sat down and meditated for a few minutes. I had thought about a grandmother of mine I had lost back in 1997. She and I were close, and I think about her from time to time and miss her. I focused on possibly being allowed to communicate with her. Once I felt at peace, I picked up the pipe and took a large hit. I came very close to coughing it out. I managed to only cough a small amount into my mouth, and a little out of my nose. I re-inhaled as much as I could, exhaled, and took another rip. The second rip was just as big. I held it in for a long time (15-20 seconds), exhaled it and THEN considered a 3rd rip, but the trip was already starting. I was kind of in this state of indecision and was one foot in the DMT realm already. Eventually, it got too strong and I figured I had better put my pipe down or I was going to drop it. I set it down, say back in my chair, closed my eyes and looked toward the sun.
Then, BOOM...cascading shapes with rounded edges and a mixture of symbols of a new foreign system of writing I had never seen before, spiraling and illuminated with red on a VERY dark background. I was instantly telepathically told "NO!!!!!!!! GET OUT OF HERE!!!!!!" I sat staring at this field of negative energy, that seemingly in an instant, became so powerful, that I was sure this was my imminent death and that I had not accomplished my mission in this life; pure feelings of absolute failure. The vibrations seemed to focus an incredible amount of energy onto me, and this horrible tingling sensation ensued which somehow caused me to involuntarily (I say that because I didn't feel as though I was the one making decisions at that point) stand up, take off my sweatshirt and shirt and then collapse down onto the ground awaiting death. I wasn't afraid so much as I was filled with this indescribable feeling that I had disappointed the gate keepers for the last time.
There was a period in which I lost all intelligent understanding of where I was, and as I came out of the trip, I had no idea what I was, where I was, etc. Once I was back in this world, I would have to estimate that I layed on the ground face down in the small pinkish pebbles that make up my back yard (I live in the desert) for about 10 minutes. I really had no idea who I was, that I just smoked DMT, that I was a human being, that I was on a terrestrial world that revolves around a star along with other planets; none of that. It was like, over the course of that ten minutes, I had to wait for everything to come back to me. When I was finally able to see/hear/smell/taste again, I got back up to my feet, and it took me a few minutes to remember why my shirts were laying on the ground next to me, and why I was collapsed on the ground. I felt like I had just gotten jumped and beaten senseless. I knew I had done something terribly wrong, but I couldn't figure out what it was. How did I anger them so badly? How is it that I seem to be unable to perceive when it is a good idea to go in, and when it isn't? It always feels right here in this world. Now, I don't have a lot of these negative trips, but they are so horrible that I usually won't use DMT for a month or more afterward. I do all I can to try to figure out what I am doing wrong, but I never figure it out.
To add to this, I consider myself a spiritual person, and I recognize a God. I was brought up a Christian, and I am definitely still a Christian, but not super active. I go to church once in a while, but I don't have a regular church I go to. I feel the spiritual world all around me, and I feel it is only through that connection, that I have found most of the answers I have looked for so far in this life. I had a happy childhood, free of physical or emotional abuse. My parents are still happily married, as is my brother to his wife; they also have two young boys. I am close with family, although I live quite far away from them.
I guess what I want to determine, perhaps with the help of others that are more experienced with DMT than I am, is how can I become better at knowing when it is a good time to enter the realms that we travel through DMT, how I can develop a closer, more intimate relationship with the entities I meet there. Well, really, what I want to know, is if you have had similar encounters, and what your story is. How did you get past this issue?
I have decided not to use DMT again, until I have come to an understanding of what it is I am doing to disappoint the gate keepers.
Thank you in advance for your advice.
I've been extracting and smoking DMT both regularly and irregularly since around July of 2014. I use the basic no-wash method with MHRB. I have used both pre-ground powder and stripped bark. I usually use a coffee grinder to break down the bark a bit before adding the chems. My end result is typically always circular disc-shaped yellow crystals. I vaporize with a basic glass oil burner water pipe that can produce quite a bit of vapor.
I always inspect my mood in fairly high detail prior to even loading up and getting ready to enter the other realm. I always make sure I do not feel any unresolved stress or anxiety before beginning, since I have gone in a few times while I wasn't in the right mood, and almost immediately I will be greeted by a presence that more or less says to me through through telepathic messaging that seems to connect with me through all of my bodily senses as well as some I have only come to know through DMT, "This is not the time.", and that would typically be followed by a very intense feeling of unwelcome. This feeling of unwelcome is so hard to describe. It is a very disappointing feeling to say the least. The trip lasts just a long as usual, but it is almost like I am standing there, knowing I am there, and shouldn't be, and I am continually disappointing the gate keepers. Had I gone in at an appropriate time, they would have greeted me with great welcome and would have showed me what they wanted to. It is exceedingly difficult to describe, but the feeling of unwelcome is delivered on more levels than I could ever communicate.
I had a powerful experience about a week ago after smoking DMT for a second time in the same day. I usually don't finish what I put in my pipe in one shot. I usually do 3 or 4 sessions in one day, spaced out by about an hour, and I usually only go in one day a week. Each sessions consists of about 2 massive rips. I have taken 3 before, but most people reading this probably know how difficult it is to get that 3rd one in. This brings me to last week. My first session had been quite fun. I was sitting in my back yard at about 10 am. It was about 55 degrees F out, clear skies and sunny, so I had a hooded sweatshirt and jeans on. I took two large rips, and just after taking the second, I looked to my side, and carefully set my pipe and torch lighter on the ground, then sat back and closed my eyes. Through many of my trips, specific shapes have followed me. The most common one is a rotating cube with a + sign on it. It is usually somewhat illuminated, and there are usually many of these; typically more than I could ever count. In this trip, they merged together to create two entities, each with 8 arms (I think). Their entire bodies were made up of these rotating cubes with the + signs on them. They began intermingling in a dance that eventually appeared to be very much like wrestling, except it was occuring in a space without gravity. As always, this is what I can remember from the trip; the rest? Your guess is as good as mine. I came out of the trip feeling extremely motivated and refreshed, which is typically how I feel after a very positive trip. I went back inside, put my pipe on the counter, did some things around the house and enjoyed the post-trip vibrations.
About an hour later, I went back outside, and sat down and meditated for a few minutes. I had thought about a grandmother of mine I had lost back in 1997. She and I were close, and I think about her from time to time and miss her. I focused on possibly being allowed to communicate with her. Once I felt at peace, I picked up the pipe and took a large hit. I came very close to coughing it out. I managed to only cough a small amount into my mouth, and a little out of my nose. I re-inhaled as much as I could, exhaled, and took another rip. The second rip was just as big. I held it in for a long time (15-20 seconds), exhaled it and THEN considered a 3rd rip, but the trip was already starting. I was kind of in this state of indecision and was one foot in the DMT realm already. Eventually, it got too strong and I figured I had better put my pipe down or I was going to drop it. I set it down, say back in my chair, closed my eyes and looked toward the sun.
Then, BOOM...cascading shapes with rounded edges and a mixture of symbols of a new foreign system of writing I had never seen before, spiraling and illuminated with red on a VERY dark background. I was instantly telepathically told "NO!!!!!!!! GET OUT OF HERE!!!!!!" I sat staring at this field of negative energy, that seemingly in an instant, became so powerful, that I was sure this was my imminent death and that I had not accomplished my mission in this life; pure feelings of absolute failure. The vibrations seemed to focus an incredible amount of energy onto me, and this horrible tingling sensation ensued which somehow caused me to involuntarily (I say that because I didn't feel as though I was the one making decisions at that point) stand up, take off my sweatshirt and shirt and then collapse down onto the ground awaiting death. I wasn't afraid so much as I was filled with this indescribable feeling that I had disappointed the gate keepers for the last time.
There was a period in which I lost all intelligent understanding of where I was, and as I came out of the trip, I had no idea what I was, where I was, etc. Once I was back in this world, I would have to estimate that I layed on the ground face down in the small pinkish pebbles that make up my back yard (I live in the desert) for about 10 minutes. I really had no idea who I was, that I just smoked DMT, that I was a human being, that I was on a terrestrial world that revolves around a star along with other planets; none of that. It was like, over the course of that ten minutes, I had to wait for everything to come back to me. When I was finally able to see/hear/smell/taste again, I got back up to my feet, and it took me a few minutes to remember why my shirts were laying on the ground next to me, and why I was collapsed on the ground. I felt like I had just gotten jumped and beaten senseless. I knew I had done something terribly wrong, but I couldn't figure out what it was. How did I anger them so badly? How is it that I seem to be unable to perceive when it is a good idea to go in, and when it isn't? It always feels right here in this world. Now, I don't have a lot of these negative trips, but they are so horrible that I usually won't use DMT for a month or more afterward. I do all I can to try to figure out what I am doing wrong, but I never figure it out.
To add to this, I consider myself a spiritual person, and I recognize a God. I was brought up a Christian, and I am definitely still a Christian, but not super active. I go to church once in a while, but I don't have a regular church I go to. I feel the spiritual world all around me, and I feel it is only through that connection, that I have found most of the answers I have looked for so far in this life. I had a happy childhood, free of physical or emotional abuse. My parents are still happily married, as is my brother to his wife; they also have two young boys. I am close with family, although I live quite far away from them.
I guess what I want to determine, perhaps with the help of others that are more experienced with DMT than I am, is how can I become better at knowing when it is a good time to enter the realms that we travel through DMT, how I can develop a closer, more intimate relationship with the entities I meet there. Well, really, what I want to know, is if you have had similar encounters, and what your story is. How did you get past this issue?
I have decided not to use DMT again, until I have come to an understanding of what it is I am doing to disappoint the gate keepers.
Thank you in advance for your advice.
