Why DMT Scares Me

[Voidmatrix]

The first time it happened to me I wasn't expecting it at all. I had assumed temporary tolerance would slowly increase and make each dose less effective, not more. It's also quite counterintuitive that doses don't seem to progressively become stronger (at least in my case, and taking these quite low doses), but there's suddenly one that's considerably stronger.

My mental model for it now is that there's some kind of threshold blood level where the effects become suddenly much stronger. So by taking low doses one makes DMT levels progressively go up, without causing much of a difference until suddenly the peak concentration of a single dose reaches that threshold.

I don't know if that model resembles what actually happens at all. It's also not unlikely it has been studied already and I just don't know. So it's just my uninformed guess about what may be happening.

Well said, and with that being said, it's even more counterintuitive and paradoxical considering the window of time one has to get in a full dose for say a breakthrough, before adding more doesn't take one any further.

Things are getting weird.

One love

 

[TransistorBass]

I've had the opposite and a session of continued small doses eventually takes me to a point of tolerance when it's clear I'd need bigger tokes to keep at a certain level.

About timing, I feel attracted to DMT at 2 points in the day; Early morning when I'm just getting up and late at night after I've Vaped my Medical Weed, neither of which times I really choose to partake in the NN vape... maybe I should though. Though maybe not in bed next to the wife whilst she's snoring and I'm tripping balls!

 

[yatyas314]

Could you expand a little bit of what you mean? I am not sure i am understanding.

One love

Yes, I saw your post I had not been on in a few days and I saw the word self-loath and thought about you and wrote that post. Without sounding dramatic I worry when I hear certain words, in this case see them. That's why I said I hoped it was a word selection thing and not an actual strong negative emotional state.
Y

 

[Voidmatrix]

Yes, I saw your post I had not been on in a few days and I saw the word self-loath and thought about you and wrote that post. Without sounding dramatic I worry when I hear certain words, in this case see them. That's why I said I hoped it was a word selection thing and not an actual strong negative emotional state.
Y

Thank you, I understand better now. And thank you for the care. I do assure you that I am fine. What I am referring to by self-loathing is something deep seated and occupying the domains of my subconscious and unconscious. It is a symptom. It is a byproduct of trauma. It's not something that I want to feel about or within myself.



One love

 

[Voidmatrix]

My position, or lack thereof makes this shit intimidating. What i mean is with regards to my orientation to the space. There's the unresolved and possibly unresolvable inquiry as to how much of our experience is merely a drug reaction, how much of it is ontologically extant outside our minds, and how much collaboration is there between the two.

I feel like if I could be convinced and oriented to the idea that it's all a drug interaction and it's all in my head, it would be much easier to shrug off or to assuage myself regarding any difficult, scary, or challenging content.

But I can't convince myself of that.

On the other end, if hyperspace is a place unbound from the mind, in the same way you or the Eiffel Tower are relative to me, then there's a whole lot of weird and potentially scary implications to that. It's a great deal to consider. And I don't know what to do with that without a proper orientation to myself and my wants and needs. But maybe at this point, the only point is to be there, subjectively.

And I am stubborn. I can't/won't pick an orientation. I play with them all. But it would be easier if I could have certain convictions about the space. As familiar as we are to each other, I don't believe anything about the space. And I am inclined to keep it that way due to felt encouragement from the space relative to my skeptical position! It's like a catch-22. But should I expect anything different from hyperspace?

However, as I write this, maybe it's not that serious

And here's my good morning to you (have yet to get out of bed).

One love