Wierd experience without any drugs...

[deepthinker]

Not sure if this is the correct place to write this due to not being a full member yet but I feel it is important towards spiritual growth to log it somewhere, and AFAIK the Nexus is the place to be for logical discussion due to Attitude rules.

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My spiritual journey started 3 years ago, where I was super depressed, right on the verge of killing myself, and I looked into hypnotherapy. A DMT dose would have done it I later found out, but I digress.

1000 of your favorite currency, and 4 hours of time later, and I had been to London and been hypnotised. Changed my life. But it wore off in 3 months. Most of it anyway.

Edit: I have high functioning autism. Don't wish to brag either but high IQ (147). I believe this is why hypnotherapy works for me but only briefly. I can never go into full trance in the session, I am always there consciously and my inner voice almost laughs at him during sessions. I think it is because I am never comfortable in the presence of others, as I get further on my own with a recording. I have yet to go into a trance where I cannot remember what happened for example. I would be interested in listening to the recordings whilst on something that makes you more suggestible, any ideas?

One of the resources the guy gave me was a copy of an online audiobook course by a certain Joe Dispenza. Me being myself, I didn't stumble upon this resource list until 6 months later, I listened to Mr Dispenza, meditated for the first time in my life and that session blew my mind. Two years later and many split tests later, I meditate daily, attend buddhist classes, and now with the unofficial blessing of my buddhist teacher I am ready to start tripping for spiritual growth.

Which leads me onto last night. When I see this hypnotherapist I record all the sessions, then when I get home I add a layer of binaural beats over it, normally theta as these sound best for me, relaxing. I spent most of last night working then I felt the usual signs of depression creeping in, tried listening to music, didn't work, so I decided to meditate but this time I would listen to the hypnotherapist recordings whilst I did so...WOW.

When I get really deep I get this weird sensation of dizziness or vertigo. It starts when my whole body vibrates and I feel like I am rocking on a boat, only a lot faster. Then I see/feel this weird scene which I am pretty sure was a death in a previous life - I used to have nightmares of this scene when I was young, now every time I have a deep meditation or get hypnotised I get this scene and if I can observe it instead of participating in it, I can break-through it and then I just see nothing, but I get super dizzy.

Edit: This scene is where I appear to be standing alone on a big field, and something is rushing at me, then it ends, I end... I never see exactly what it is but I feel fear and I notice the depth of field change as it/them get closer to me. They come very quick and they start a long way away, several football field lengths at least. I can only attribute this to a previous death, had it since the earliest I can remember and used to wet the bed with nightmares of it.

Well last night I broke through it and there was a momentary pause and great white light filled my, eyes-closed vision. Just a flash. And then dizziness, specifically clockwise dizziness. And as I observed and concentrated on my breathing, I noticed the deeper I breathed the quicker the dizziness. Like those wheels in playgrounds, you put a kid on the wheel and you spin it and it gets faster and slows down so you spin it again, and again and again and it gets faster and faster, this is what it felt like.

So this was going great but the audio track stopped and due to miscalculation by me, a techno track started, at full volume, taking me right out of the zone. I muted it, opened my eyes etc and had to sit down for 20 minutes because I was so dizzy I couldn't stand up. Immediately went to bed, but couldn't get to sleep.

I wake up today and I find I am hungover, except I didn't consume any alcohol or anything else except one supplement, which is L-Theanine which I take twice a day, it works much better for anxiety than 5-htp for me. Other than that no alcohol, no nicotine, no caffeine and everything else here in the UK is illegal, sadly. So none of those either.

Sorry this is not drug related but my inner voice tells me it is important, that others might have similar experiences?? I did some Googling, other people have had the same, actually one on the Dispenza forum having just started meditation - their teacher calls it "uplifting" IE "the soul getting to the real you" not quite sure what that means. The first time I meditated it happened but I went into a tunnel, back forwards, up and down like an elevator, quite strange.

I never get this far in meditation classes or Kundalini Yoga. I don't see things when I meditate, just starting to see little bits of purple 3 years in, and I don't experience energy movement during/after Kundalini Yoga either. When I try energy movement with my hands near each other, I feel nothing too. I think my third eye, if it exists, is welded closed hah!

Please please give me your opinion and experiences? I need to move on.

I don't even know if I am ready for entheogens yet actually.

 

[Bancopuma]

When I get really deep I get this weird sensation of dizziness or vertigo. It starts when my whole body vibrates and I feel like I am rocking on a boat, only a lot faster.

So just to pick up on this little part, what you are describing here is a textbook vibrational state that often occurs before an out of body experience/astral projection. I've experienced similar things myself after meditating with theta binaural beats. This vibrational state varies for people in frequency and intensity, for some it is like rocking in a swing, hammock or boat, for others it is more like an earthquake. I experienced it as a powerful feeling of electricity coursing through me, minus the pain. I've experienced flashes of white light on occasion too, but it was more in spark form for me.

This may be of interest, a nice OBE guide, "The F**k it" technique detailed here worked for me before I ever read this guide, so I can personally vouch for it, it might be worthwhile to experiment more and see where it leads.

How to Astral Project - My Personal Guide to Out of Body Experiences | Jeff Finley

A comprehensive guide on how to astral project safely for beginners. I share my tried-and-true method for going out of body and mastering astral projection.

jefffinley.org

 

[dragonrider]

When I get really deep I get this weird sensation of dizziness or vertigo. It starts when my whole body vibrates and I feel like I am rocking on a boat, only a lot faster.

So just to pick up on this little part, what you are describing here is a textbook vibrational state that often occurs before an out of body experience/astral projection. I've experienced similar things myself after meditating with theta binaural beats. This vibrational state varies for people in frequency and intensity, for some it is like rocking in a swing, hammock or boat, for others it is more like an earthquake.

Yeah i concur. It's not an abnormal experience, though it can be intimidating.

I don't know if psychedelic's are a good idea for you or not.
I have this high functioning autism running in my family, and i believe that people who have this, people like you, are far more sensitive to sensory imput than most people. You may already experience a constant sensory overload kind of thing when you're completely sober. I have a niece who cannot stare at the sea for too long, or it starts to frighten her. The vastlessness, the endless motion, the billions of patterns in the seawater, combined with the seabreeze and the roaring sound. It's just too much for her.

And psychedelic's realy do take away any kind of filtering of the senses that people normally have.

I recently read about some studies that indicate that people with autism simply need more time to mature. They keep learning new things for a longer period of time. Most people are no longer open to learning new things when they get about 20 years old. Or not as open anymore, as when they where a child. But people with autism keep this capacity for learning new skills, that a child has, up to their 40th or even 50th.

So in a sense you have all the time of the world. There is no need to rush things, especially psychedelic's. And if you would decide to experiment with psychedelic substances, i would start with low doses. You may be far more sensitive to them than the majority of the people.

 

[deepthinker]

Thank you!

I haven't percieved much sensory overload, but when I started using mindfulness skills I notice that I notice EVERYTHING and I can recall stuff like the colour of the fabric on the inside of someones hoody that I saw two weeks ago, all the way down to peoples inherent body language. I don't know if this is a survival instinct from learning to survive on my own as I was growing up or if it is the autism, it has come in handy before re:avoiding being mugged but it is a constant pain to not only notice things on the fly but to be constantly threat-assesing people.

I would definitely microdose first. I have never been the type to just jump straight into something. But I want to be careful not to build up a tolerance as well to avoid not being able to get the full benefit. 4-MEO_DMT looked perfect for me as far as RC's go but then I read about tolerance levels.

Good to know the dizziness is normal, but would an OBE help me or is it just getting in the way of deep trance / hypnotism / meditation?

 

[dragonrider]

An OBE can be the result of being in a deep trance. So instead of standing in the way, it's more a sign that you're on the right track.

 

[Bancopuma]

Good to know the dizziness is normal, but would an OBE help me or is it just getting in the way of deep trance / hypnotism / meditation?

Depends on your perspective really, but I don't see why it would get in the way, in fact I would consider it a deeper and more interesting experience than anything you list there, and OBE's can sometimes result from a state of deep trance, and they can also be hypnotically induced, and some people experience them through meditation. A few links that may be of interest.

Benefits of OBE's & Meditation - Methods of Exploring Consciousness - Welcome to the DMT-Nexus

Astral Projection (OBE) Benefits & FAQ — AstralInfo.org

www.astralinfo.org

 

[deepthinker]

I wrote a blog post about this. It is 1000 words long. Does anyone have any experience with hypnotherapy, and therefore any answers?

Why Meditation is hurting me…

…and fortunatly it is supposed to?



So lately when I meditate I just get through the normal part where I lie there, I feel an itch, I turn my attention to it and away from it and it passes. Then instead of the usual delight of happiness or flashy lights I get anxiety. And an almost unconscious need to open my eyes and cease it. I didn’t go to my weekly Samatha meetup either due to said anxiety.



I started meditation because of anxiety in the first place! Why would I want it again? HELP! But seriously apparently this is all normal…



As you meditate you unearth what causes you problems. Unfortunatly, even though there seems a clear “Path”( https://alohadharma.com/the-map/ ) I struggle with this because I am at several stages of this path at once. I think this is because of several factors:

I am autistic. Autism + Asperges + Dyspraxia. High functioning. But my brain is wired differently...

I was hypnotised by someone, and I think some portion of my brain is still traumatised, then another part is not due to hypnotic conditioning. After 3 months the hypnotic conditioning gave way to the old self, and with that came some kind of internal struggle between the two which caused my symptoms much described by “Dark Night of the Soul” except I didn’t have a Kundalini awakening…hell I haven’t even opened my “Third Eye” in Kundalini-terms… but I had all the symptoms. Anxiety, panic attacks, severe depression for 12 hours then joy for 12 hours then depression and panic attacks…all very wierd. I did go back and see the hypnotherapist, but the shorter sessions were not long enough to put me into a trance like state. I am not hyper suggestible. These symptoms lasted for a year and a half. I remember playing Arma 3 for 12 hours a day, a game that accurately simulates battlefield response (soldiers use it for training) complete with bullet snaps when being shot at. Looking back this was actually adding to the problem, I was getting little panic attacks whilst playing the game FROM THE GAME on top of what I was suffering in life… on top of THAT I was part of a squad on teamspeak who never really liked me, and I am already anxious of social situations, I was ultra paranoid about them talking behind my back etc. Turns out I was right about that, recently went back and it was all negative.. so I quit for good, as you should when something makes you feel wrong. Intuition…listen and trust it!

SO right now I feel I have several options. I almost feel bad about befriending the hypnotherapist (as much as my friendships go, have never met up IRL for anything non professional) because it means I feel guilty for criticising his work… even though it cost me over £1000 to see him in the first place. Plus several £200 top ups (I think they were that price, was a while back). Plus the stress and cost of having to drive to London and back (There is a train directly from Crewe now I live in the NW which is an easy 2 hours) which would take me 8 hours each way. Looking back I don’t know why I didn’t just fly there and back? Anyway… I digress…

Do I spend £700-1000 and go see him again for 4 hours and have a hypnotherapy session that wears off in 3 months?

Do I spend £700-1000 + a few tabs of LSD (illegal, so riskier) which makes you hyper suggestive during your trip and have a hypnotherapy session that might never wear off due to getting into trance properly? He might not agree with this being a professional. This is why I haven’t named him btw. I don’t know of any legal substances that can make someone hyper suggestible??

Do I end my professional relationship with him and find a new hypnotist? This might be problematic. She/he would have to erase all of his programming then insert her/his own. And how much is all this going to cost? I am not making the same money that I was back then (the joys of internet based careers). I can’t afford to blow £1k on something that might not even work?

Do I not bother with hypnotherapy at all, get some MDMA and self-help myself under the influence? Same with LSD, mushrooms, or 4-aco-dmt? A website based around entheogenic science ( Welcome to the DMT-Nexus ) recommends, by it’s users, something called psychotherapy. Where you take said substances in a controlled setting and you ask yourself questions whilst on it. The problem is as I said before… I am not totally me. Part of “me” has been hypnotically conditioned. Grrr.

I have recordings that I combined with binaural beats, of his sessions. Do I take LSD or MDMA and listen to these? Would this work?

I don’t even know who or where to ask these questions. I am so stuck.



Either way I am far better than I was before the hypnotherapy, where I was so depressed I didn’t even go to London wearing shoes. I went in my slippers! And I didn’t even notice until he pointed them out! I must have looked a right *%$* walking around an empty Marylebone at 6am in slippers!!! But it just hasn’t worked out for me. I remember him saying stuff like “and you GO TO SLEEP” and thinking “you what mate? I don’t think so” even though I was trying to. But this was back before meditation, before being able to still that analytical mind. I have tried listening to recorded sessions and doing it, I come close but never actually go to sleep on his command.



I have no doubt he knows what he is doing. So many testimonials, and news coverage, and interviews. You can’t do all those and just be some kind of scammer. I have read all the NLP books and stuff like Tranceformations, the science backs up his recordings.

All I can do is put faith in the universe. Or as we say in Kundalini “Om namo guru dev namo” (“We connect to our highest Divine self”).
Thanks for reading.

Namaste.

This thread seems appropriate. And my inner self tells me to trust the people on this forum.