blig-blug's Ayahuasca experience log

[blig-blug]

XXVIII log update:

Dose:
T-24:00 -> Ayahuasca. Equivalent to 20g B. muricata and 4g D. cabrerana.
T-12:00 -> Ayahuasca. Equivalent to 10g B. muricata and 2g D. cabrearana.
T+00:00 -> Ayahuasca. Equivalent to 20g B. muricata and 4g D. cabrerana.
T+04:00 -> Ayahuasca. Equivalent to 20g B. muricata and 4g D. cabrerana.

Fasted the previous day, ate a light meal at about T-06:00.

This one comes almost two weeks too late: I had to travel the day after it and ended up forgetting to update the log. So it won't be too detailed.

I decided to try a different approach: taking a very light dose the day before in order to prepare my stomach (and partially my mind), and ended up taking an even lighter one during the morning of the day.

The first dose at T-24:00 was supposed to be low enough so that the chali didn't have much of an effect (if they hadn't been brewed together, I would have had only caapi). To my surprise, at about T-22:00 I had to go lie down for a while, as I got a very sudden onset of dizziness followed by visuals. The visuals weren't intense and were bluish in color, I remember seeing money, a passport, and a lot of unreadable text scrolling by. It lasted a short time, about 15 minutes.

In the morning of the next day I decided to have an even lower dose in order to make it mentally easier to have the actual dose later during the day. It did have a faint visual effect at some points, e.g. patterning in the bathroom floor. This was however very light, it was a dose that I think could be taken regularly without impairing daily function (probably as long as one doesn't have to drive). I may experiment more with this in the future.

My plan for the afternoon was to have a 20:4 dose at T+00:00, and later a 40:8 dose. But the dose at T+00:00 proved to be quite strong! Probably due to a good amount of caapi harmalas being already in my system.

Usually, chali has not been very visual for me. This time however it felt almost like pharmahuasca: I heard the typical DMT ringing (in my case it's usually similar to a sine wave at 400Hz, with a binaural effect to it) and very colorful geometric visuals started appearing. Even with my eyes open, I got patterns and saw beings moving around if I stared at a surface. However I was feeling much "ligther" and able to move and function than other times. I did lie down for most of it, and the peak was intense: at one point it seemed as if I would break through, but in the end didn't.

Due to my emotional state during those days, I didn't want to go too deep, and decided to take a second dose of only 20:4. This dose was much darker and somatic. I was about to get heartburn, but in the end I didn't (I had drank a bit of water with baking soda beforehand). The visuals were few and there was a lot of darkness. My emotions opened up. It was rough and difficult to get through. However, once the stomach discomfort subsided towards the end, I started feeling much more positive, and was left in a state of calm.

During the next few days, I was very emotional, which wasn't too adequate for the circumstances.

This was very different from how I've drank Aya other times, and is an approach I want to experiment more with when I have time. I was able to mostly keep heartburn at bay without even lemon essential oil, and be in a slightly altered state where I could think deeply about many issues for a much longer time. Ideally, I'll be at a more emotionally stable (and a more stable situation) for the next time, and will end with a larger dose.

 

[northape]

Due to my emotional state during those days, I didn't want to go too deep, and decided to take a second dose of only 20:4. This dose was much darker and somatic. I was about to get heartburn, but in the end I didn't (I had drank a bit of water with baking soda beforehand). The visuals were few and there was a lot of darkness. My emotions opened up. It was rough and difficult to get through. However, once the stomach discomfort subsided towards the end, I started feeling much more positive, and was left in a state of calm.

Ime, this heavy darkness comes from the gut and is the kind of stuff the medicine tries to remove from you. In that case, I usually drink a second dose to give extra force to the process, and it ends in purging with a shift to a more balanced state. This medicine requires enough strength to push heavy energy out, so drinking more (especially caapi) is preferable. You fully digest the medicine only when your system is relatively clean (both mentally and physically). If there is any stuck energy in you, it will try to clean you first. I drank Brazilian caapi in the summer, and it was all about cleansing even though I had lots of chaliponga in it (12g per dose). I had close to no DMT effects, but I was purging from both ends. In retrospect, it gave the strongest push toward a different relationship with life and my situation, opening many doors.

It is best to have a few free days after ayahuasca because most of the work comes after the experience. You tend to feel a bit vulnerable and shaken afterward. However, if you have done a proper ceremony with a clear end closing your energy, it is safe to roam about (just not advisable).

I told you before, for a time my drinking process was very similar to your last one. I used to reboil the brew with some honey and put it in a thermos. I would drink it in shots until reaching the desired depth. This is easier to follow for anyone who is familiar with alcohol and tends to create a relatable structure. My ceremony setting was very formal, but the consumption itself followed a known social pattern. After some time I switched back to traditional use, but small shots of ayahuasca certainly do work.

 

[blig-blug]

XXIX log update:

Dose:
T-00:40 -> 230mg harmalas (extracted from Peganum harmala).
T+00:00 -> 30mg DMT freebase, with 8 drops lemon essential oil.
T+01:10 -> 35mg DMT freebase, with 2 drops lemon essential oil.

This was in the morning, I was fasted since the day before in the evening.

It had been many months without taking Aya or pharma, and finally I was again in the right setting for it. My mindset was exceedingly negative, the last week I had been in a quite irritable and depressed mood. This irritability had peaked just the day before. So I already expected this to be likely not that pleasant.

This time I wanted to try to be sitting instead of lying down, both to help any gas come out and to try to stay more aware during the experience.

The first dose came up quite fast, and besides the typical blobs of color and light, a few more complex visuals insinuated themselves. I was feeling physically quite well. However, these visuals quickly diminished and only the blobs of color and the white light remained. After that, the first hour seemed quite uneventful. I had the perception of being somewhere else, and often when I opened my eyes I was surprised at seeing my (dark) surroundings, or the rotation in space (being that I expected a different rotation to be "upright"). I tried to focus my attention in my breath and my chest area, and I was moderately successful, although my focus weakened over time. Now I realize during this apparently uneventful hour I was becoming more and more resistant to emotions and closing myself in all ways. Although, in a certain sense, this closing myself was me opening myself to a certain "closed and resistant" mindset that I tend to fall into sometimes. So it's hard to know whether I was truly closing myself or was opening myself to being closed. Towards the end of this initial hour or so, I started feeling more and more discomfort in my stomach. At one point it seemed I was starting to get heartburn, but it went away after I burped. It was not too strong, however.

The effects hadn't been to strong and seemed to have been getting weaker for quite a while, so I decided to redose despite only a little over an hour having passed since the first DMT dose. After a while, I started feeling more stomach discomfort. It quickly progressed from discomfort to feeling really ill, and from feeling really ill to a kind of torture. By then, I was getting quite a lot of internal hallucinations (although many seemed too dimly lit to be observed clearly), but in the moment they just seemed to me quite normal mental activity, barely a vision (a few stood out more). I remember seeing an Orthodox icon featuring saints with halos that were exchanging something amongst themselves, seeing my girlfriend standing up in the room while I was lying down in my vision, seeing a face made by neon-like white lights vomiting human feces...

One that really stood out was a ball of white light with a white bird floating in the middle, wings open. At first I saw it but was unable to process it, as if in a dream. When I noticed it more, my field of vision moved downwards and I couldn't see it anymore, only the light emitted by it. I could look at my hands (with eyes closed, seeing them in a position where they weren't in reality, being able to move them without actually moving them) and see the reflection of the light, and the shadow cast by it, but not at the light itself.

I also saw a spinning vortex of light inside me, and some other people that I know. These vortices connected the body to a mass of white light above. It was clear in the moment that they were consciousness, the observer that is beyond experience. I could also see the body around becoming something like lego pieces and crumbling, representing how the body and ego are accretions that will end up crumbling and disappearing, but consciousness itself will never change or perish.

Despite these mostly positive visions, I couldn't pay much attention to them, as I was feeling as if I were dying. The feelings of profound bodily sickness, centered in my stomach but radiating to all my body, kept increasing. I was able to get the vomit bucket, but I couldn't even bring myself to try to vomit, as the smallest movement increased my suffering greatly. So I kept my face above the bucket, waiting to hopefully vomit at some point.

As my physical suffering increased, the visions started becoming very chaotic, aggressive and disjointed. Also, either they became faint or I was just unable to pay attention to them. I started experiencing intermittent feelings of a kind of rush so intense that it was almost painful. This rush progressed from the outer edges of my body towards my vertical middle, particularly towards my nose. I started feeling very hot (as I have in the past). It truly seemed as if I were dying, and remaining calm took a very sustained effort, remembering moment to moment that I was actually fine and that this would pass.

Finally, at about T+3:00, I suddenly vomited. It was quite easy and not too uncomfortable. Some minutes after vomiting, I started to feel better, and started feeling clean and renewed as the malaise diminished. I started getting some very characteristic DMT-style visuals, but these faded after a few minutes. After about 20 minutes, I felt still a bit sick but mentally relaxed and happy, and went outside my room to cuddle with my girlfriend, who had been done from her experience since quite some time already. I spent the rest of the day relaxing, meditating upon my experience, and enjoying my mental state of clarity and happiness.

The suffering and feelings of heat stroke and dying were very similar to those in log XII, although stronger. In fact I don't think I've ever felt physically as bad before, in any situation. I'm happy this time I was able to manage it well and remain calm, if suffering.

As I noticed then, these feelings seemed in the moment like reliving some very old memory, and the experience aligns well with Grof's BPM II. I don't think it's necessarily a "true" memory and/or a birth memory, it could easily be a symbolic representation of other issues. I want to stay open to different possibilities, so I'm not going to focus on any given explanation, but on the experience itself.

This was greatly beneficial not only in breaking me out of my negative mental state (of which it seemed to be a maximally extreme manifestation), but also I've been having some realizations during the two days that have followed this experience so far. Mostly related to my mother's attitude towards me during most of my life, and some roles she has assigned to me since childhood that I have assumed without realizing. E.g. being always dependent on her in one way or another, so as to enable her to fulfill a role of "martyr" while also holding it against me. The last threads of this role are currently being cut, so it makes sense that it would come up.

It has also come to my mind afterwards that my refusal to investigate the literal meaning of some of my experiences is an obstacle for my progress. Specifically, the feeling that I should explore better the possibility that the visions in log X about spirits, fetuses, etc. may be true in a more literal sense (I've taken them as fully symbolic so far). I'm willing to keep my mind open but I don't want to slide into delusion or unwarranted certainty about unknowable realities. So I'm going to explore this line of thought, but with caution.

I intend to keep taking pharma or Aya every one or two weeks for the following month, at least.

 

[blig-blug]

XXX log update:

Dose:
T-00:50 -> 230mg harmalas (extracted from Peganum harmala), in two gelatine capsules.
T+00:00 -> 35mg DMT freebase in a gelatine capsule, with 8 drops lemon essential oil.
T+01:30 -> 30mg DMT freebase in a gelatine capsule.

Again in the morning, fasted since the previous day in the evening.

This was an experiment in using capsules, something I hadn't tried before. My intention for this experience was to find ways and strength to stay more calm in my day to day, as these days I'm under some stress.

The harmalas started being effective about 10 minutes later than usual due to the capsules, so I waited a bit more for the DMT.

The first DMT dose was quite mild, and so was the second, at first. I was feeling very calm and comfortable. There were barely any visuals and only a few internal hallucinations (one of them was the experience of being in a green field under a bright blue sky), and just a couple of times I got the characteristic DMT waves. I had time for reflection and felt very comfortable. Nausea and stomach discomfort had been minimal so far.

Towards T+3:00 I was feeling that the experience was coming to an end, and I started getting mentally ready to leave my room and go join my girlfriend. However, at about T+3:15 I started feeling significant stomach pain, and suddenly needed to go poop (normal, not diarrhea). After this, I started getting more bloated and nauseous, and at T+3:30 it had become already quite challenging. For the next two hours, I was again under waves of nausea and stomach pain. This time, stomach pain dominated, sometimes feeling like maybe heartburn. I'm not too sure if it was heartburn or not, it felt as if I had something solid inside me that caused a dull and insistent pain. This came and went, it wasn't constant.
There were also mental effects, with the very typical aya/pharma headspace where one feels somehow on the verge of death (not necessarily in an unpleasant or scary way). No visuals nor internal hallucinations. It was quite physical, besides the headspace my thoughts felt quite normal.

At about T+5:30, I was feeling a bit better and went to lie down with my girlfriend in another room. But shortly after, the pain increased again. Pain and nausea persisted and started decreasing at about T+6:15. Then, something a bit strange happened: I could feel pain somewhere in my intestines, and then a DMT wave would come. These DMT waves were relatively strong, forcing me to close my eyes, and had no visuals besides light blobs. They were quite pleasant once I could let myself enjoy them, at some points I felt as if my body was "blessed", and all pain and discomfort (including normal, day-to-day discomfort) would sometimes disappear. Each wave lasted a short time, maybe about 5 minutes, likely because I was not fully MAO inhibited anymore. In between waves, there was still pain and some nausea, but less and less. The experience ended at T+7:00 or so, leaving a pleasurable afterglow with minor nausea.

Once again, it left me feeling renewed, much calmer, and with some insights that started appearing once the experience was more or less over.

I'm pretty sure the capsules caused this delay in DMT effects. I imagine the capsules didn't fully open, and it's possible that the DMT freebase didn't have time to fully convert into a salt in the stomach, and passed into the intestine (which is mildly basic) as freebase, thus further delaying and slowing down absorption.

I'm going to give capsules a second chance, by piercing and breaking them beforehand. My intention is to avoid having to drink it: if I'm going to drink something, I'd rather drink a caapi brew. It's likely that even with the capsules pierced it won't work well, we'll see.

I'm considering once again taking DMT together with harmalas or shortly after, instead of waiting that much. Very often, it seems as if my stomach refuses to let anything go through after the harmalas start having an effect. Capsules may have made this more extreme, but it's still very common with liquids. In the end I may vomit (the best case scenario, as it brings relief) or, as in this case, my stomach will end up releasing it, but with much pain and nausea.

 

[Sakkadelic]

with 8 drops lemon essential oil.

How are you ingesting it? It's a lot and if undiluted on an empty stomach I imagine it can be rough on the stomach.

I'm considering once again taking DMT together with harmalas or shortly after, instead of waiting that much. Very often, it seems as if my stomach refuses to let anything go through after the harmalas start having an effect. Capsules may have made this more extreme, but it's still very common with liquids. In the end I may vomit (the best case scenario, as it brings relief) or, as in this case, my stomach will end up releasing it, but with much pain and nausea.

I've found that just dumping the freebase harmalas on my tongue and swallowing it with water to be very acceptable, minor bitterness if anything. And yes that wait might have been too long, with capsuled dmt you maybe can take it right after the harmalas (if not capsulated).


It's unfortunate that physical abdominal pain is recurring for you with ayahuasca, as I recall you don’t often have it with other psychedelics. Do you feel it's more due to the harmalas or the dmt? Does taking harmalas orally alone cause the same issues?
I do have stomach issues of a weak/weakening stomach lining at times causing great pain and discomfort. And harmalas don't seem to negatively impact it.

Have you tried a light and simple diet for the day or days before the trip instead of fasting?

 

[blig-blug]

How are you ingesting it? It's a lot and if undiluted on an empty stomach I imagine it can be rough on the stomach.

I'm just swallowing the drops, yes. I usually have them with water (often the freebase DMT will dissolve in it if put in the water glass together), this time I didn't but I don't think it made any difference. In the past I've tried just not having the essential oil, and I tend to have the same issues, just with very strong heartburn. The essential oil works well at protecting me from heartburn, and from overly acidic vomit.

I've found that just dumping the freebase harmalas on my tongue and swallowing it with water to be very acceptable, minor bitterness if anything

That's very similar to what I usually do, only I put them in water and drink the water with the freebase harmalas floating in it. It doesn't taste like almost anything, but after having done it quite a few times, I find it as disgusting as drinking caapi, or maybe more (!). Even just handling the harmalas to weigh them makes me shiver haha. That's why I was interested in capsules for pharma.

It's unfortunate that physical abdominal pain is recurring for you with ayahuasca, as I recall you don’t often have it with other psychedelics. Do you feel it's more due to the harmalas or the dmt? Does taking harmalas orally alone cause the same issues?

I do tend to have minor stomach issues with other psychedelics, but nothing comparable. I think the real physical discomfort may not be that much more with aya/pharma, however *huasca makes it feel like my whole soul is involved in it.
I think it's the DMT, because harmalas on their own cause me no issues, and the problems tend to start when the effects of DMT start. Interestingly, I had DMT once without harmalas just to test if it would cause me any discomfort, and it didn't (but it's very likely that it got broken down by MAO before it could cause any trouble).

I think it's likely to be related with psychological issues, in my case. For example, this time there wasn't that much going on in my mind during the experience, and yet I ended up feeling much better than I do after taking any other psychedelic. I feel all my negative emotions in my stomach instead of anywhere else, I don't think I ever feel a negative emotion without feeling relatively strong stomach discomfort. So I'm thinking it's likely I just have to keep going through this for a while. It leaves me feeling renewed both physically and mentally for quite a few days, so it's a worthy tradeoff for me. Although of course I'd like to reduce the discomfort if I can.

I do have stomach issues of a weak/weakening stomach lining at times causing great pain and discomfort. And harmalas don't seem to negatively impact it.

In my case, when I get stomach discomfort due to emotions, it's very immediate. It appears instantly as the emotion arises, and it's in fact how I tend to recognize those emotions at first. It also goes away as soon as the emotion goes away. So I think it's likely coming from the nerves in the stomach, rather than being some other process that ends up causing discomfort. The nausea and pains with *huasca often feel different and sometimes are clearly due to gas or acidity, though.

I'm thinking it may be better for me to drink rue or caapi tea instead of pure harmalas, because those tend to cause vomit or diarrhea much more reliably while being less likely to result in heartburn (for me), and that has always helped. I feel as if I need to purge all kind of crap out of me. Not in a literal, physical sense, more emotionally.

Have you tried a light and simple diet for the day or days before the trip instead of fasting?

This time I have only fasted since dinner the day before (and I took pharma in the morning), and I kept it light. But yeah, it could be a good idea to eat something very light and bland a couple hours before, I've never tried that yet. I'm thinking of having a small rice bowl, without any condiments.

Something else I want to try in the future is having pharma in enteric coated capsules, thus bypassing the stomach. The reason I'm not trying it right now is because I'm not in a good environment right now, nor have the necessary materials in the case of DMT, to make my freebase DMT and harmalas into salts.

 

[Sakkadelic]

That's very similar to what I usually do, only I put them in water and drink the water with the freebase harmalas floating in it. It doesn't taste like almost anything, but after having done it quite a few times, I find it as disgusting as drinking caapi, or maybe more (!). Even just handling the harmalas to weigh them makes me shiver haha. That's why I was interested in capsules for pharma.

Oh wow I totally get that feeling when it comes to the salt or the tea but the harmala freebase!

I do tend to have minor stomach issues with other psychedelics, but nothing comparable. I think the real physical discomfort may not be that much more with aya/pharma, however *huasca makes it feel like my whole soul is involved in it.
I think it's the DMT, because harmalas on their own cause me no issues, and the problems tend to start when the effects of DMT start. Interestingly, I had DMT once without harmalas just to test if it would cause me any discomfort, and it didn't (but it's very likely that it got broken down by MAO before it could cause any trouble).

I think it's likely to be related with psychological issues, in my case. For example, this time there wasn't that much going on in my mind during the experience, and yet I ended up feeling much better than I do after taking any other psychedelic. I feel all my negative emotions in my stomach instead of anywhere else, I don't think I ever feel a negative emotion without feeling relatively strong stomach discomfort. So I'm thinking it's likely I just have to keep going through this for a while. It leaves me feeling renewed both physically and mentally for quite a few days, so it's a worthy tradeoff for me. Although of course I'd like to reduce the discomfort if I can.

The psychological factor may indeed be very relevant here. My gut is strongly connected to primitive feelings like fear and nervousness. A bit weird from an evolutionary pov, like if I am getting chased by a tiger I don't see the benefit of shitting myself (the urge I always have to fight when smoalking), unless that would disgust the tiger :b

The pain I feel is more extreme but since you're not experiencing stomach issues after the trip and even feeling better physically, I hope this means it's unlikely that it would lead to long term issues.

This time I have only fasted since dinner the day before (and I took pharma in the morning), and I kept it light. But yeah, it could be a good idea to eat something very light and bland a couple hours before, I've never tried that yet. I'm thinking of having a small rice bowl, without any condiments.

Yes I think it's worth trying, it might be better if your body is in normal mode rather than fasting and then getting flooded with serotonergic alkaloids.

 

[TransistorBass]

I'm thinking of having a small rice bowl, without any condiments.

Put a pinch of Chilli powder in your rice, it gives it a lift, though I do enjoy the boringness of plain rice sometimes.

 

[blig-blug]

Put a pinch of Chilli powder in your rice, it gives it a lift, though I do enjoy the boringness of plain rice sometimes.

I most definitely do not want to be eating any amount of chili powder before *huasca I do like to season it, in the general case.

 

[truth bum]

nor have the necessary materials in the case of DMT, to make my freebase DMT and harmalas into salts.

If you can't do FASA, it's possible to simply dissolve some fumaric acid in water and then dissolve DMT freebase in it. Easier than FASA and drinking it is always better than capsules IME (i.e. hits more reliably and less stomach discomfort). I don't bother with FASA anymore.

Edit: I mention this because based on my own experience, I think DMT Fumarate rather than other salt forms is your best bet to avoid stomach issues.

 

[blig-blug]

If you can't do FASA, it's possible to simply dissolve some fumaric acid in water and then dissolve DMT freebase in it. Easier than FASA and drinking it is always better than capsules IME (i.e. hits more reliably and less stomach discomfort). I don't bother with FASA anymore.

I used to just dissolve it in some juice (acidic).

Edit: I mention this because based on my own experience, I think DMT Fumarate rather than other salt forms is your best bet to avoid stomach issues.

Good to know, thanks. I haven't tried fumarate yet, so at some point I will (where I'm at right now it's not too easy to obtain fumaric acid).

 

[Transform]

If you can't do FASA, it's possible to simply dissolve some fumaric acid in water and then dissolve DMT freebase in it. Easier than FASA and drinking it is always better than capsules IME (i.e. hits more reliably and less stomach discomfort). I don't bother with FASA anymore.

With the appropriately calculated amount of FA, it should be possible to add it to an excess of DMT and only the corresponding amount of DMT will dissolve. There may be some variables to control for, like temperature and local CO₂ concentration.

If a saturated solution of FA in water is prepared at a precise temperature this should dissolve a predictable amount of DMT fairly reliably. One possible source of variation is in the dibasic nature of FA, although consistent temperature and use of saturated FA along with a large excess of DMT FB should keep that in check.

I'd be interested to know how reliable this method might prove to be. Experiments to establish the base parameters would be pretty straightforward.

 

[blig-blug]

With the appropriately calculated amount of FA, it should be possible to add it to an excess of DMT and only the corresponding amount of DMT will dissolve. There may be some variables to control for, like temperature and local CO₂ concentration.

If a saturated solution of FA in water is prepared at a precise temperature this should dissolve a predictable amount of DMT fairly reliably. One possible source of variation is in the dibasic nature of FA, although consistent temperature and use of saturated FA along with a large excess of DMT FB should keep that in check.

I'd be interested to know how reliable this method might prove to be. Experiments to establish the base parameters would be pretty straightforward.

What would be the advantage of this over measuring some DMT freebase and dissolving it in juice?

 

[Transform]

What would be the advantage of this over measuring some DMT freebase and dissolving it in juice?

I don't know, it has just a matter of riffing off the idea. However, if it proves consistent, you'd be able to measure out from a stock saturated FA solution volumetrically far more easily than weighing out tiny amounts of DMT, since the solubility of FA in water is fairly low. Thus, the larger volume required would make it easy to attain a sufficient level of accuracy in measurement.

 

[Space Djedi]

Acacia is the love of my life, so everything I say is very biased and personal. I'll give it a try to describe my path with this power plant.

To give some context first, I came to plant work with severe depression and everyday suicidal thoughts. It's not like I didn't have some questions about spirituality and life, but my main aim was healing, no matter what I imagined at the time. Liberty caps scared me after 20–30 sessions, and I somehow found rue and the world of Ayahuasca analogs.

When it comes to Acacia, I only worked with dry barks from Hawaii and Taiwan. The Hawaiian one was a bit more cartoonish and dmt-dominant, I'd say. However, it quickly disappeared from the European market, and Acacia from Taiwan became the main variety for me. Right here, you can see the apparent limitations, but I had no better medicine or understanding back then.

So let's start with the fun part. Unlike Mimosa, Acacia is all about love, joy, and divinity. I never had any trust issues with this plant. Occasionally, you can get some unclean batch even with Acacia, but it was mostly stuff from the US. I never felt any energetic pollution from Taiwan, and it's much more sustainable there because they have lots of fallen trees each year. I think a big part of a healthy spiritual scene on the island comes from Acacia and its vibe, but that's just my speculation.

Acacia is all about the Heart, warmth, and light. It was very welcome in dark Scandinavian winters. Whatever troubles you before the sessions dissolve in joy bordering on euphoria. You can easily reach euphoric states with Acacia, and they consume you. I had a big smile on my face most of the nights. Back then, I just listened to music all night, basking in the light. So, in retrospect, through constant exposure to Rue and Acacia, my system started to rebalance itself and move in a more positive direction. I have lots of negativity from my upbringing/childhood, and without touching anything directly, it changed the main mood of it all. I feel like Syrian Rue is the main culprit who did most of the heavy lifting, but without some light from Acacia, it'd be impossible. It's a safe plant to use, and my normal dose was over 5g for many years. You still can have some side effects like shaking on the come-up, tachycardia, or overstimulation, but it's generally safe.

And the most juicy part is that Acacia connects you to heavenly realms, divinity, Gods, and Goddesses. It's all about transcending our humanity and reaching beyond. This plant told me to sing and connected me to Ram, for which I'll be forever grateful. I still remember that ceremony, when I could feel and see a big sun in the middle of my chest. Singing praise to God just made it pour out light and consume me in a devotional frenzy. I've repeated that experience many more times at different levels of absorption.

What's bad about it, then?
Acacia is not about humans or humanity at all. Some plants are better at working with us apes than others. Basically, Acacia lacks any depth. It's a transcendental candy that you want to suck on as an addict. It takes you right to heaven without any consideration for your life or what you're going through. Sure, Rue can still give you some guidance even via Acacia, but it becomes severely blocked. You can ask more about it from @dithyramb, who has extensive experience working with Rue (most likely more experience than anyone else on the forum).


Acacia's heart-opening is a closed mind space, even if it's a divine one. We humans are all about humanity, suffering, and our little human interactions. Going beyond that strips us from our life mission. Maybe you can reach God that way, but you'd need to leave your body behind. That's what I felt in my later years: no matter how hard I tried to reach the end of the Acacia tunnel, I couldn't succeed because my humanity and body were in the way.

Every plant has its own portal into the astral realm, and Acacia has its own coloring and filters. To go to the end, you need to fully surrender to the plant. I felt that full surrender would mean the end of my human existence, and said my goodbyes to Acacia.


Your inquiry holds the answer to all my years with this plant. Basically, you need to work with live plants, and you need to use test every part of it. It's kind of obvious if you consider Acacia a plant spirit. In order to know it fully, you need to try every bit and piece of it. Medicine work is kind of shamanic, as we all well know, and it's all about building a relationship with our chosen plant. I fully believe that Acacia has sufficient depth if you work with the whole plant. It should be much healthier, because with time you'd ingest different energies that Acacia has and adapt your body to them. Acacia is a life-long commitment and could get as deep as any other power plant.

How does 30g of Acacia feel?
Awesome, actually. It was all about devotion, love, opening, and transcendence once again. At the peak of it, I just felt an open space without any borders that stretched far beyond the constraints of the room I was in. I was starting to feel the tremendous joy of that moment, and right then I blacked out. An unknown time later, I found myself very confused in a different room. It took some time to get my bearings and return to the ceremony place. My ceremony room was semi-trashed. Nothing major, but some action happened there. I have no recollection of it to this day. As my focus is on presence and awareness, I never repeated the experiment again. By the way, I came to learn later on that the openness and spaciousness I felt is available with other plants at higher doses. It could be even more open than what Acacia showed me. However, it opened the door, and for that I'm forever grateful.

That was the absolute maximum of my writing ability and covers less than 10%, but I can't give you more. Just ask some specific questions, and I'll try to answer.
We've seemingly captured the thread in the last few posts. Seriously, @blig-blug has started a movement of sorts, and this thread is breaking records and holding lots of good info.

@northape

This is a beautiful write-up. Thank you for writing so much and sharing so much. I also believe that the magic and healing come from harmala. I'm glad that you see that too.

Have you ever heard of Dzogchen Buddhism? I think that would interest you. Basically these brews dissolve away concepts and bring us back to our natural state of oneness with everything. That's the highly simplified version of Dzogchen Buddhism.

 

[northape]

@northape

This is a beautiful write-up. Thank you for writing so much and sharing so much. I also believe that the magic and healing come from harmala. I'm glad that you see that too.

My thoughts about Acacia matured somewhat after that write-up, but I agree with the bulk of the post. I came to know that Taiwan is a quite spiritual place. In Buddhism, they have an idea of merit and doing good deeds to accumulate it. Taiwan is at the top worldwide as a sponsor for Dharmic activity. They spend millions each year to sponsor Dharma centers and teachers everywhere. One can speculate that, from a spiritual perspective, this holds the country afloat and independent even in the political turmoil it finds itself in. How does it relate to medicine use? Taiwan is blessed, and plants from there have a strong spiritual backing behind them. That's just my own story. No one needs to believe it

Have you ever heard of Dzogchen Buddhism? I think that would interest you. Basically these brews dissolve away concepts and bring us back to our natural state of oneness with everything. That's the highly simplified version of Dzogchen Buddhism.

Yes, I know about Dzogchen conceptually. I like it, but I've no idea how much I get experientially. Still, its view resonates with me: our basic nature is all-good and complete. May all be well

 

[strong medicine]

Blig-blug. Have you ever gotten chaliponga/vine to work well for you??
I read the whole thread like a week ago but I seem to have forgotten.

Anyway I like chaliponga. I love chaliponga. I usually do 2,5-3,5g. 3 doses for a full night. I start with 25g vine, i prefer muricata. Lately I've been starting with only 15g and it works too. But its definitely the absolute smallest dose that will work. I have done this about 60 times now. I take the leaf 45-60m after the vine.

I'd say the 3rd dose is the "real dose".

The first one is warmup. Usually nothing extreme happens. After a while I start feeling very very sick, and it gets worse by the second.
Its time to puke. And it feels so good when everything comes up. I go brush my teeth and then return to bed and enjoy the ride.

Then when i feel it starting to wear off its time for dose 2. Usually 12,5g vine and 3g or so leaf. This dose is usually twice as powerful. Things can very easily get out of hand mentally, if you have done bad shit you will pay for it now. after a while i start feeling very sick again, maybe 10 times more sick. I have found that its best to suppress it until you simply can't hold it down anymore. Its time to puke again. And this time its feels even better. The euphoria is out of this world. I feel so healed, so fixed, so pure, so clean. wow.

And then after an hour or so its time for dose 3 again 12,5g vine and 3g or so leaf. Usually this starts working very quickly as opposed to the first dose. Usually within 5 min. Not 30-40min. The intensity increases exponentially. And so does the feeling of extreme sickness. Its just ramps up and up and up until I can't take it anymore, gets worse by the second. This is usually on a completely different level mentally and visually. Sometimes I have to puke already after 1 minute (not kidding) sometimes 5, or 15.

Either way I usually puke like hell from this dose. And it feels so good extremely good. I try to really drain my whole body, all of it, i want to get all crap out of it, i want to get all crap out of every single cell in my body..

All my problems, diseases, all crap goes in a bucket. And the feeling of getting rid of all that shit is unimaginably good. I cannot describe how good this feels. Some say it feels like being born again. I dont know about that. But the euphoria is extreme. its level 11. You feel so pure and clean after that. I think it feels kinda similar to taking all the mdma on the entire planet in one go. Thats how i like to think of it.

But there is a difference. With mdma you feel good because the drug works as it does, its like a synthetic, kinda fake feeling somehow, painted on top of everything else. The chaliponga puke feeling is a feeling of removing stuff instead, not adding stuff. You remove all crap, get rid of all crap until there is nothing left to get rid off. Then you are pure, clean, healed. And that feels better. And you are also completely sober somehow.

Yeah thats how it feels to me at least. ymmv..

 

[northape]

Blig-blug. Have you ever gotten chaliponga/vine to work well for you??
I read the whole thread like a week ago but I seem to have forgotten.

Anyway I like chaliponga. I love chaliponga. I usually do 2,5-3,5g. 3 doses for a full night. I start with 25g vine, i prefer muricata. Lately I've been starting with only 15g and it works too. But its definitely the absolute smallest dose that will work. I have done this about 60 times now. I take the leaf 45-60m after the vine.

I'd say the 3rd dose is the "real dose".

The first one is warmup. Usually nothing extreme happens. After a while I start feeling very very sick, and it gets worse by the second.
Its time to puke. And it feels so good when everything comes up. I go brush my teeth and then return to bed and enjoy the ride.

Then when i feel it starting to wear off its time for dose 2. Usually 12,5g vine and 3g or so leaf. This dose is usually twice as powerful. Things can very easily get out of hand mentally, if you have done bad shit you will pay for it now. after a while i start feeling very sick again, maybe 10 times more sick. I have found that its best to suppress it until you simply can't hold it down anymore. Its time to puke again. And this time its feels even better. The euphoria is out of this world. I feel so healed, so fixed, so pure, so clean. wow.

And then after an hour or so its time for dose 3 again 12,5g vine and 3g or so leaf. Usually this starts working very quickly as opposed to the first dose. Usually within 5 min. Not 30-40min. The intensity increases exponentially. And so does the feeling of extreme sickness. Its just ramps up and up and up until I can't take it anymore, gets worse by the second. This is usually on a completely different level mentally and visually. Sometimes I have to puke already after 1 minute (not kidding) sometimes 5, or 15.

Either way I usually puke like hell from this dose. And it feels so good extremely good. I try to really drain my whole body, all of it, i want to get all crap out of it, i want to get all crap out of every single cell in my body..

All my problems, diseases, all crap goes in a bucket. And the feeling of getting rid of all that shit is unimaginably good. I cannot describe how good this feels. Some say it feels like being born again. I dont know about that. But the euphoria is extreme. its level 11. You feel so pure and clean after that. I think it feels kinda similar to taking all the mdma on the entire planet in one go. Thats how i like to think of it.

But there is a difference. With mdma you feel good because the drug works as it does, its like a synthetic, kinda fake feeling somehow, painted on top of everything else. The chaliponga puke feeling is a feeling of removing stuff instead, not adding stuff. You remove all crap, get rid of all crap until there is nothing left to get rid off. Then you are pure, clean, healed. And that feels better. And you are also completely sober somehow.

Yeah thats how it feels to me at least. ymmv..

Sounds about right. You describe it well, and I work in the same manner, but I drink twice instead and use stronger doses. Chaliponga nausea is no joke, yet it's so healing that you keep coming back. After years of searching for a perfect light source, chali wins on all fronts. It's so somatic, simple, and straightforward compared to chacruna. It's easier to find working material, too. Safe journeys