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Confessions of a Spice Junkie

Migrated topic.
The rules of engagement in any marriage are complicated and unique. There isn’t any one-size-fits-all set of rules that one can apply. I knew before I married my wife that certain things wouldn’t fly. One was sleeping with other women. Another was getting loaded. These things were made very clear up front and I agreed to honor them. Now, I could go out and fuck an anonymous stranger tonight (and I’d love to), and it wouldn’t affect my feelings for her, but it’s against the rules, so I don’t. And with regard to the issue of drugs, my track record is abominable. My wife never saw that side of me as it was over before we met, but I’m still the person I was before, and it comes out in other ways.
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One of those things is completely horrible and morally wrong. The other is enlightening and very positive and please do not refer to entheogenic experiences as getting "loaded", perhaps YOU don't look at entheogens the proper way. I have never gotten "loaded" or "fucked up" off DMT or any other entheogen. Entheogens are NOT drugs, period.
 
It saddens me. Truly. I see DMT as one of the most profound experiences of my lifetime. But I say this not at all as a martyr - my daughter is just more important. And even if I managed to keep it all on the down low indefinitely, I’m just not present with her (and my wife) when I’m nursing a secret obsession. She’ll only be the age she is now once, and then never again. I can always revisit the spice in time.
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Art, others have said it before, you have a wonderful way with words!!
In this one paragraph (especially the highlighted part!) you summed up what I took 2 foot long post to try & say!!
Well put!!

Man I have a ton of respect for you!! You've made a very adult decision!!
I can only imagine that the DMT experience would be somewhat tainted by the knowledge that your having to do it in secret anyway.


Antrocles mentioned that I had set a pretty unreasonable ideal.
Yes that is 100% true that most people don't measure up to such stark standards, myself included, but does that mean that we should just say fuck it & be a shit because it is hard work to be a good person in our modern world?
I just do not see it as OK, to be sneaky with anybody, especially your life partner!!
That can only go on so long before it comes to a head & usually ends up exploding into a much, much bigger deal than just doing a little something in secret.
Its the lie, or the "not the whole truth" that damages things, not the specific action.


WS
 
[quote='Coatl]
The rules of engagement in any marriage are complicated and unique. There isn’t any one-size-fits-all set of rules that one can apply. I knew before I married my wife that certain things wouldn’t fly. One was sleeping with other women. Another was getting loaded. These things were made very clear up front and I agreed to honor them. Now, I could go out and fuck an anonymous stranger tonight (and I’d love to), and it wouldn’t affect my feelings for her, but it’s against the rules, so I don’t. And with regard to the issue of drugs, my track record is abominable. My wife never saw that side of me as it was over before we met, but I’m still the person I was before, and it comes out in other ways.
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One of those things is completely horrible and morally wrong. The other is enlightening and very positive and please do not refer to entheogenic experiences as getting "loaded", perhaps YOU don't look at entheogens the proper way. I have never gotten "loaded" or "fucked up" off DMT or any other entheogen. Entheogens are NOT drugs, period.
[/quote]

Come on now, Coatl... you know he's not talking about the spice there... This man obviously knows and agrees with these things, as we have already gone over...

But when it comes down to it, mimosa hostilis is the entheogen [commonly used], not DMT. DMT is technically a drug. Same way THC is a drug... but cannabis is an entheogen... a plant. Drug has way too many negative connotations with it in our society today, yes, but at the end of the day, it is still technically a drug. Does that word affect the experiences SWIM has with it? The respect he has? The amount of knowledge, wisdom, and beauty to be gained from it? Not at all! It's just a term to define a substance. Nothing more.

Do I consider DMT usage drug usage? No... that's not what it means to me. But if you were to look at the situation at hand non-biasly... it is... :p
 
wake and bacon said:
But when it comes down to it, mimosa hostilis is the entheogen [commonly used], not DMT. DMT is technically a drug. Same way THC is a drug... but cannabis is an entheogen... a plant. Drug has way too many negative connotations with it in our society today, yes, but at the end of the day, it is still technically a drug. Does that word affect the experiences SWIM has with it? The respect he has? The amount of knowledge, wisdom, and beauty to be gained from it? Not at all! It's just a term to define a substance. Nothing more.

Do I consider DMT usage drug usage? No... that's not what it means to me. But if you were to look at the situation at hand non-biasly... it is... :p
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Exactly, DRUG is not an evil word, drugs are not an evil thing, IMO
I think its the term "drug war" that has dirtied up the word, but only in an individual's mind.
There are drugs that can be good, There are drugs that can be bad, it's really more about the way a person uses (or abuses) the substance. And the way they view it in their mind, guilty or OK with it.
If its a plant, it OK because the chemical is still inside? WTF?!?!

To me, DMT feels like a much, much bigger thing, a key of sorts, to a larger inner world or consciousness!!
But it is still a chemical causing these effects.
Whether the chem itself is just a key to opening something that is already there, but dormant.
Or the chem itself holds the entire result & is totally causing the effects by itself, it still takes a foreign chemical, or high amounts of an indigenous one, to bring those effects on.
And that's whether its still inside of plant cells, or it's been removed.

I guess I don't see the issue here either, beyond Nancy Regen's voice yelling, "Just Say No" in your subconscious ear, bothering you.


WS
 
The chem is the key, but the key is more of a usb.

by the way let the man leave in peace, let this thread be done !
 
But when it comes down to it, mimosa hostilis is the entheogen [commonly used], not DMT. DMT is technically a drug. Same way THC is a drug... but cannabis is an entheogen... a plant. Drug has way too many negative connotations with it in our society today, yes, but at the end of the day, it is still technically a drug. Does that word affect the experiences SWIM has with it? The respect he has? The amount of knowledge, wisdom, and beauty to be gained from it? Not at all! It's just a term to define a substance. Nothing more.
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Seems like your on my side. Tell her you use Ayahuasca.... may stop using DMT and use Ayahuasca? Something more easily justifiable? Someone suggested you and your wife watching a documentary on Ayahuasca, and I think that is a great idea!

I just have to say that I could NEVER IMAGINE keeping something like this from my spouse, we share everything.
 
What's going to happen when you find out your spouse has been hiding something from you? Will you end it? Will you accept it? Will it diminish the quality of your relationship, or will you realize, or at the very least understand, why it has been kept from you?

A documentary won't do much to change someone's mind. I've made up mind (not that it matters in anyway regarding Art's life) that he is undeniably making the right decision.
 
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD…

LLB… Is that you? Master Of Plants… Are you back? Are you channeling your way back onto the site through ‘Coatl’s inner nitwit?

Honestly, 'Coatl - and I’ll try to resist the urge to throw down and get ugly - can you please just back it off a bit? Please? I'm asking as nicely as I can, because you're really starting to annoy me. Try reading through my entire posts if you want to know what I think. If you just skim through them and look for random bits to take out of context, you can always support your weird little need to get offended and take the high ground. Whateva...

You’re very invested in imposing your values and exposing the flaws in mine. You’ve been telling me what time it is, and guess what? I just don't care. YOUR experience ain’t MY experience, and it sure ain’t any more valid. But just so we’re clear - I’ll most likely continue to express my own, if and whenever I post here. I’ll leave it to you to deal with the psychic fallout however you need to.

A wise person (or not) once told me the following:

[quote='Coatl]No offense, but that is EXACTLY what being closed minded is... being intelligent but not willing to assimilate something that is outside their comfort zone.[/quote]

Good advice. Try and take it yourself. Let's agree to disagree.
 
Honestly, man - and I’ll try to resist the urge to throw down and get ugly - can you please just back it off a bit? Please? I'm asking as nicely as I can, because you're really starting to annoy me. Try reading through my entire posts, if you want to know what I think. If you just skim through them and look for random bits to take out of context, you can always support your weird little need to get offended and take the high ground. Whateva...

You’re very invested in imposing your values and exposing the flaws in mine. You’ve been telling me what time it is, and guess what? I just don't care. YOUR experience ain’t MY experience, and it sure ain’t any more valid. But just so we’re clear - I’ll most likely continue to express my own, if and whenever I post here. I’ll leave it to you to deal with the psychic fallout however you need to.
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Who are you talking to? Me?
 
"temperature's rising"... maybe this thread needs to 'die' down... for Art's sake, if anything else, so he's not tempted to come back to the nexus to reply. Reading about the spice would undoubtedly make it harder to not want to experience it again, prematurely - in his case.
 
wow. it's kind of crazy in here. I've come to appreciate most you for the apparently high levels of open mindedness, kindness and intelligence on this board. an awful lot of judgments are being made in this thread. Let's be good to one another. there are plenty of places on the internet for lowbrow pissing contests. Let's try to stay above the free here. just my worthless 2 cents...
 
Art,

I think you made a wise and true decision by 'cutting the knot'. I wish you all the luck in the world and hope everything resolves in a good and favorable way.

I let this thread alive because I thought it was the best thing to do, let you all come clean with each other. Now I think it's time to say goodbye and close this thread. Again, all the best for you Art, have strength.


Kind regards,

The Traveler
 
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