Oh the sweet sorrow of being young and full of spunk...
I think you are over thinking this my friend. You are also conflating things that are not necessarily tied together. The typical advice you are receiving tends to also fall into this trap.
Let me break it down:
Love is not better than Sex
Sex is not better than Masturbation (w/ or w/o pron)
These are three different things that have their own pros and cons. Being in a loving relationship with a woman who will give you sex on demand 24-7 does not preclude the desire to view porn from time to time. In fact, once you have tagged her in every way possible and seen every inch of her in various forms of arousal... it is relatively common to want to see some other forms. (especially if they are doing something that your girl may not be into)
First of all, you must realize that this progression is such that each step requires exponentially more work on your part. Masturbation is a cinch. You can rub one out in the shower in a couple minutes. Actual sex takes some work.
You seem to be whining about opportunities and the like... sack up dude. It is not easy for anyone to convince a girl to throw her programming to the wind and get freaky without some serious investment in attention. You may be behind the bell curve on your social skills, but you can train them up. If you want to get laid, you will train for the hunt... and learn to close the deal.
Now, if you want to have love... that is gonna take a huge commitment. Generally, it will be larger than your career or hobbies... often combined. Don't listen to what anyone tells you. Despite the rather incredible high moments... relationships generally devolve into murky trench warfare in a fetid swamp. You may garner some peak experiences along the way... but you are certain to find your lowest points as well. Your first love is statistically nearly certain to break your heart... usually irreparably. This is not so bad, though, as that overly romantic thing you thought was your heart was actually some deeply ingrained programming.
I would say, you have to take the opportunity for love if it arises... but it will probably be something you rue eventually. Even when not regretting a single instant of that misery.
You may think you are miserable now... wanking away to female naked wrestling or whatever... but your misery now is shallow and petulant compared to the misery you will feel when your first love takes your heart and crushes it in her confused and hormonal hands.
People can say what they want... and I will be surprised if no one disagrees with me... but I am just telling it like I see it. And as someone who has had numerous relationships, long and short... as well as more loose sex than any man could wish for... I am not talking out my ass.
The running theme in all this is that your fantasy is what will destroy you... luckily, we can control this.
Last advice in a nutshell:
1) You need to move. It sounds like you live in a place that is not suited for you. Go move to a college town, or a party island in Thailand... at least for a while.
2) Don't restrict your sexual encounters to girls your age. Girls your age may defy gravity, but they are inexperienced morons full of bad ideas and dreams. Women who have already had a few relationships are much hornier and less hassle.
3) Don't follow the advice above about being honest from the start. This is bad advice. Mostly because you have no idea what you want at first. You can not tell some girl you are getting hot and heavy with what your long term intentions for the relationship are... you barely know her. You may wind up falling head over heels... you may not. Be honest about the fact that you have no idea what you are doing. Or just stay quiet and mysterious... which works better. Don't lie to them, but don't be that sad sap guy who thinks spilling his guts and getting all emotional is sexy... it isn't.
Okay, let the flaming begin...
I think you are over thinking this my friend. You are also conflating things that are not necessarily tied together. The typical advice you are receiving tends to also fall into this trap.
Let me break it down:
Love is not better than Sex
Sex is not better than Masturbation (w/ or w/o pron)
These are three different things that have their own pros and cons. Being in a loving relationship with a woman who will give you sex on demand 24-7 does not preclude the desire to view porn from time to time. In fact, once you have tagged her in every way possible and seen every inch of her in various forms of arousal... it is relatively common to want to see some other forms. (especially if they are doing something that your girl may not be into)
First of all, you must realize that this progression is such that each step requires exponentially more work on your part. Masturbation is a cinch. You can rub one out in the shower in a couple minutes. Actual sex takes some work.
You seem to be whining about opportunities and the like... sack up dude. It is not easy for anyone to convince a girl to throw her programming to the wind and get freaky without some serious investment in attention. You may be behind the bell curve on your social skills, but you can train them up. If you want to get laid, you will train for the hunt... and learn to close the deal.
Now, if you want to have love... that is gonna take a huge commitment. Generally, it will be larger than your career or hobbies... often combined. Don't listen to what anyone tells you. Despite the rather incredible high moments... relationships generally devolve into murky trench warfare in a fetid swamp. You may garner some peak experiences along the way... but you are certain to find your lowest points as well. Your first love is statistically nearly certain to break your heart... usually irreparably. This is not so bad, though, as that overly romantic thing you thought was your heart was actually some deeply ingrained programming.
I would say, you have to take the opportunity for love if it arises... but it will probably be something you rue eventually. Even when not regretting a single instant of that misery.
You may think you are miserable now... wanking away to female naked wrestling or whatever... but your misery now is shallow and petulant compared to the misery you will feel when your first love takes your heart and crushes it in her confused and hormonal hands.
People can say what they want... and I will be surprised if no one disagrees with me... but I am just telling it like I see it. And as someone who has had numerous relationships, long and short... as well as more loose sex than any man could wish for... I am not talking out my ass.
The running theme in all this is that your fantasy is what will destroy you... luckily, we can control this.
Last advice in a nutshell:
1) You need to move. It sounds like you live in a place that is not suited for you. Go move to a college town, or a party island in Thailand... at least for a while.
2) Don't restrict your sexual encounters to girls your age. Girls your age may defy gravity, but they are inexperienced morons full of bad ideas and dreams. Women who have already had a few relationships are much hornier and less hassle.
3) Don't follow the advice above about being honest from the start. This is bad advice. Mostly because you have no idea what you want at first. You can not tell some girl you are getting hot and heavy with what your long term intentions for the relationship are... you barely know her. You may wind up falling head over heels... you may not. Be honest about the fact that you have no idea what you are doing. Or just stay quiet and mysterious... which works better. Don't lie to them, but don't be that sad sap guy who thinks spilling his guts and getting all emotional is sexy... it isn't.
Okay, let the flaming begin...
And then there's still 1000nds of dating website. The less you masturbate, the more you will be motivated to persue the real thing.
