Exp. Report My first true breakthrough

[reun]

Hi all,

I wanted to share my first true breakthrough experience.

The setup was actually surprisingly simple. I have a 1:1 cart and a variable voltage vaporiser -- I set it to 3.2V. I wasn't even thinking of a breakthrough. I took 2 inhalations -- 7 seconds in and 7 seconds hold. I was originally planning to go for 3, but after just 2 I realised that I was far too gone. I barely had enough presence to put my vape down, and I continued looking down at the stopwatch on my phone -- I was timing my inhalation. It's not like I didn't have anything else in the surrounding area to look at, but I was just sorta no longer in control. Soon enough, I remember that my eyes closed on their own. And what happened next... Oh, words do not exist to describe it. Colours. Geometries. Entities. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind that it was a true breakthrough. I feel like it has to be the absolute pinnacle of what any life can possibly experience, in terms of richness and beauty. I should also note that it was very different from my earlier vapourhuasca experience. It felt much more abstract. Less teaching, it was almost as though the other side simply revealed itself to me in a form of an incomprehensible and unsolvable riddle. It felt like I saw the ultimate foundation of everything in this universe. But I had no idea what to make of it. And I feel like I didn't have to. And I felt like it's okay. After what felt like an absolute eternity, I slowly began to regain sense of me existing on the other side somewhere. I remember the first thing I realised was the tension in my face -- I was smiling. I opened my eyes and everything was... almost stamped with some geometric patterns. I was shocked when I realised that only 3 minutes and 3 seconds passed since I first inhaled. I closed my eyes again and returned into the world. For some strange reason my mind wondered if I could have a bad trip like that. The moment I thought about it, I began to see what can be best described as decaying vegetation of some sort. For a brief second I was worried that the experience may be turning sour, but I leaned into it: I told myself that I must embrace this in all absolutely all shapes, I must surrender to the experience unconditionally -- there is simply no good and bad in this world, not beauty and ugliness, there is just the sheer existence of it, and that's a miracle, it will always be a miracle (note: going forward, there is something else that I could do -- I could remember that I have the control of my emotional space and I can choose to focus on love, love for whatever comes). I felt warm at that moment. By about the 6 minute mark, I was mostly back to our world. But I was shaking. I was stunned.

I heard stories of some people saying that they'd see the DMT world, appreciate it and would never want to go back. Or they wouldn't want to go back for a long time. While I feel like what I saw has left me with a jaw-dropping impression, I feel intrigued to learn more about this world. Come closer to it. Welcome it into my heart.

I was stunned by the fact that I can have a breakthrough on a vape like this. I concluded that a vape can only deliver a threshold experience at best, and I was even beginning to investigate the idea of building my own version of the machine for a breakthrough. But I didn't even have to take 3 hits to get there.

Lastly, I know I'm preaching to the converted, but... DMT... DMT is the true pinnacle. At least that's what I felt like. I felt it in my bones. This is the closest thing that exists in this world to pure magic. And this magic is more magnificent than anyone imagined.

 

[brettsta]

Hi all,

Oh, words do not exist to describe it. Colours. Geometries. Entities. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind that it was a true breakthrough.

Hi , Reun . Yes the second one breaks through the threshold, it's behond all doubt you in ! . It's so obvious it's laughable, there is no other human experience like it !!

I had no idea what to make if it , And I feel like I didn't have to. And I felt like it's okay.

Yes me too , at first I use to try to understand the shit out of it , but I came to realize that I'm not there to understand it, But just be aware that it ? is .

-- there is simply no good and bad in this world, not beauty and ugliness, there is just the sheer existence of it,

IMO : Yes exactly! I find it amusing when people say , there are demons or "evil" in that world , there is no meaning of those words in there . There just human fear based constructs ,
there is only love and fear , chaos and order .

 

[northape]

IMO : Yes exactly! I find it amusing when people say , there are demons or "evil" in that world , there is no meaning of those words in there . There just human fear based constructs ,
there is only love and fear , chaos and order .

Now imagine that I take a screwdriver and stab your leg with all my might without any reason at all, just cause I feel like it. Would you still spit all that nonsense? I highly doubt it.
And here we come to the real meat of all these great breakthrough experiences - integration and bringing it all into everyday reality. Somehow I see no enlightened people around the psychedelics community and it tells me all I need to know. If just seeing it once were enough, we'd all be angels here. Get real people.

 

[reun]

Now imagine that I take a screwdriver and stab your leg with all my might without any reason at all, just cause I feel like it. Would you still spit all that nonsense? I highly doubt it.
And here we come to the real meat of all these great breakthrough experiences - integration and bringing it all into everyday reality. Somehow I see no enlightened people around the psychedelics community and it tells me all I need to know. If just seeing it once were enough, we'd all be angels here. Get real people.

I'm still new to DMT, and as I noted in my thread, so far I noticed that vaporising DMT on its own doesn't have the same integration strength as many slower-paced psychedelics do, or as DMT when mixed with harmalas. Or perhaps that's just been my experience so far. It is still an incredible experience, even if it doesn't require much integration. When it comes to integration, I feel like there is only so much of it you can do at a time -- some experiences may take months or even years to process. With vaporised DMT, I just feel like I witnessed something incredible, but it left me with more questions than answers.

As for my own reflections on "no good and bad in this world", it was a mental trick used to navigate a challenging point in my trip, and I sincerely felt true within the domain where I was at the time, so I don't think there is a need to call anyone out on this! Also, I feel like the psychedelics community is rather diverse -- there are some among us who are just looking for novelty while others are trying to fix personal wounds. I feel like psychedelics certainly have the potential to enlighten, and I have personally benefited from this.

 

[northape]

I'm still new to DMT, and as I noted in my thread, so far I noticed that vaporising DMT on its own doesn't have the same integration strength as many slower-paced psychedelics do, or as DMT when mixed with harmalas. Or perhaps that's just been my experience so far. It is still an incredible experience, even if it doesn't require much integration. When it comes to integration, I feel like there is only so much of it you can do at a time -- some experiences may take months or even years to process. With vaporised DMT, I just feel like I witnessed something incredible, but it left me with more questions than answers.

As for my own reflections on "no good and bad in this world", it was a mental trick used to navigate a challenging point in my trip, and I sincerely felt true within the domain where I was at the time, so I don't think there is a need to call anyone out on this! Also, I feel like the psychedelics community is rather diverse -- there are some among us who are just looking for novelty while others are trying to fix personal wounds. I feel like psychedelics certainly have the potential to enlighten, and I have personally benefited from this.

Don't take it personally. Our friend @brettsta likes to post small bits of text that somehow always confirm and resonate with the OP's original message.
Ideals are fine, but when they meet reality, they easily crumble. I'd rather integrate a tiny bit of experience and make it my own reality than create grand stories only to see them shattered in the end. As you saw yourself, DMT experience seems to be more real than real, and that's where the danger is. Enjoy the state, but know that it has no more substance than a dream. All these medicines are just tools; don't make a cult or idol worship out of them. Without you, DMT is useless, and this should show you all you need to know.

Once again, get real people. There is quite a difference between having fun, psychotherapy, and spirituality. See what you're after and be honest with yourself. As of late, many just want a spotlight here and are willing to say whatever is needed for it.

 

[Panpsychic]

I'd rather integrate a tiny bit of experience and make it my own reality than create grand stories only to see them shattered in the end. As you saw yourself, DMT experience seems to be more real than real, and that's where the danger is. Enjoy the state, but know that it has no more substance than a dream.

And don't forget that the above statement is, likewise, just a metaphysical speculation with no more validity beyond your own conjecture, and that DMT realities may indeed be 'more real than real'.

 

[northape]

And don't forget that the above statement is, likewise, just a metaphysical speculation with no more validity beyond your own conjecture, and that DMT realities may indeed be 'more real than real'.

Sure. Why not? I go by what I see and am honest about it. You're free to disagree, and I'd actually appreciate it more - especially if you can present your position in simple terms that my feeble mind can understand. I do know that I know nothing

 

[brettsta]

Now imagine that I take a screwdriver and stab your leg with all my might without any reason at all, just cause I feel like it. Would you still spit all that nonsense? I highly doubt it.

great words as always , but I give in , that the flying fuk does that mean .
I'm just saying demon is a bulshit human word that doesn't belong in the realm , it's just love and fear what's wrong with that .

 

[brettsta]

Don't take it personally. Our friend @brettsta likes to post small bits of text that somehow always confirm and resonate with the OP's original message.

Don't take it personally? ?? Should I not confirm and resonate with the OP? I do apologize .
when it comes to me it's not about words , the language of dmt is all feeling .

 

[northape]

Don't take it personally? ?? Should I not confirm and resonate with the OP? I do apologize .
when it comes to me it's not about words , the language of dmt is all feeling .

First of all, there is evil both in the world and in "dmt space." If you haven't encountered it yet, that doesn't mean it's not there. I agree that ultimately all is love, but no one operates on this level here. It's wishful thinking and nothing more. That's why the screwdriver example was used. If I threaten you, all these fine ideals will just crumble. Wouldn't even your notion of fear be a resistance and demonic?

Somehow you apologize, but I see it as a coping mechanism to disarm the situation. There is nothing to disarm here or apologize for. It's not like I doom you for speaking your mind. Why not be more genuine, though? No one is going to say anything if you're a bit more selfish and speak what you really think. Somehow, it feels like you want to fit in too much. I would rather hear your own thoughts than a constant echoing of what others are saying. You have enough experience to say something with confidence, so do it. Quit being so nice and compassionate, please. I want to see a real human.

 

[blig-blug]

Tensions are a bit high today. It's understandable and it's not like I'm above it, quite the opposite.

Still, I think it's better if in this thread we focus on @reun's experience. We can continue the broader discussion on a different thread.

@reun I'm happy you could experience something like this. As you say, the feeling of reality is awesome in the literal sense of causing awe. I do agree that pure DMT experiences seem to have less opportunities to integrate, with the caveat that I'm not particularly experienced with that ROA. But I think sometimes there are experiences that seem to have nothing to do with you that end up having a profound effect on the long term. It has happened to me with some pharmahuasca experiences. So meditating upon the experience and mentally contemplating some of its aspects could be beneficial.

All the best for you in your path!

 

[brettsta]

First of all, there is evil both in the world and in "dmt space." If you haven't encountered it yet, that doesn't mean it's not there. I agree that ultimately all is love, but no one operates on this level here. It's wishful thinking and nothing more. That's why the screwdriver example was used. If I threaten you, all these fine ideals will just crumble. Wouldn't even your notion of fear be a resistance and demonic?

Somehow you apologize, but I see it as a coping mechanism to disarm the situation. There is nothing to disarm here or apologize for. It's not like I doom you for speaking your mind. Why not be more genuine, though? No one is going to say anything if you're a bit more selfish and speak what you really think. Somehow, it feels like you want to fit in too much. I would rather hear your own thoughts than a constant echoing of what others are saying. You have enough experience to say something with confidence, so do it. Quit being so nice and compassionate, please. I want to see a real human.

I won't say anymore on this thread after this blig- blig is right it's Reuns thread.
I've met the worst negative entities you could possibly imagine, but just because we don't understand them
That doesn't make them demons !
I look for things in people's experiences that I experience! When I hear others talk about what I know about
I agree and resonate with them .
But thanks for being clear , I'm echoing and not being genuine enough? And I want to fit in to much ?

You have absolutely no idea who I am . If you did you would delete everything you just said .
All the best people

 

[reun]

A lot of sharp observations have been made in this thread, and I appreciate you all for contributing.

I wanted to reflect on some of the topics that came up.

IMO : Yes exactly! I find it amusing when people say , there are demons or "evil" in that world , there is no meaning of those words in there . There just human fear based constructs ,
there is only love and fear , chaos and order .

Just wanted to say that based on my limited experience so far, I do, indeed, agree that demons and angels are constructs that don't map very well to the DMT world. I have witnessed scenes that may represent abstract ideas of something unsettling, terrifying and beautiful, but I do feel like assigning value judgements such as "good" and "bad" feels somewhat off the mark -- you may genuinely experience joy and terror, so as you said, there is love and fear, chaos and order. That said, I have heard of some people experiencing bad trips and I've had some on other psychedelics too, but again, I feel like it's just a representation of my emotional state that I do have some control over. On that note, a friend of mine once gave me a ridiculously simple but powerful tip that can serve as a safety vest during a trip: "just think of something else". If you have the capacity to channel your thoughts or emotions in some way, then simply thinking about something else can be a game changer (although I understand this is easier said that done). Interestingly, this advice is also useful in day to day life, when you are feeling anxious or depressed.


@northape, I could be misreading this somewhat, but I feel like I understand your frustration. Psychedelics have helped me through some extremely challenging experiences in life, and I'm forever grateful for the gifts of this medicine. There was a time when I looked at others who took magic mushrooms, LSD and other such substances at festivals and house parties, and I felt like these were acts of utter desecration. And then there is another cohort that some people may label as the hippies. Some of the less eloquent ones may ramble a lot of psychedelic-fueled nonsense -- conversations with some of these people made me feel like they were missing the point, somehow. However, my attitude has softened a bit since then. I think that low-dose psychedelics such as magic mushrooms can genuinely facilitate warm bonding experiences, and there is nothing wrong with that. And some people have vastly different worldviews, life experiences and modes of functioning, so just because their psychedelic experiences don't resonate with me, doesn't make them wrong. I've also reached a point where I feel like I'm the one who gets to actively craft my own meaning in life. When I experience a DMT breakthrough, I can choose to see it as a dream or I can choose to see it as something much more than that. The pragmatist in me sees the dream, but a part of me finds it comforting to buy into the idea that the DMT world is much more than an illusion. And like @Panpsychic pointed out, we will never actually know for sure. That said, my aforementioned recent vapourhuasca experience has shaken my beliefs more than anything else ever has, even if the power of this experience to drive change was weaker than other substances I've experimented with. As for DMT and integration, I noted in my introduction thread, that I felt somewhat guilty about venturing into DMT precisely because I felt an overwhelming sense of curiosity to experience DMT, while at the same time I felt somewhat emotionally exhausted from groundbreaking psychological upheavals, since I was (and still am) integrating a powerful earlier experience. To be honest, I actually like DMT for this: it reveals itself as a beautiful riddle without forcing an awakening. This ties into what @blig-blug was saying, but my point is that I consciously do not want to have a life-changing experience every time I venture into the DMT world. I know that in time I will be seeking another awakening, and this is where I may call on pharmahuasca. But for now, I love vaporising DMT. I find the DMT world miraculous. And I find comfort in hoping that it may be offering a glimpse into something higher.