Please help!!!

[Womp516]

Please help!!!
Okay so about 7 weeks ago I experienced what I would say was a near death experience. I took 4 tabs of acid and everything began fine but went downhill from there. I experienced what felt like my brain was "frying." I could hear and feel this sensation. I also felt as if there was some kind of time ticking down until I would "die." After about 2 hours this intense experience ended and I was still tripping just it was no longer bad.

Because this experience freaked me out I took the last 7 weeks off of any drugs (except marijuana) until tonight when I decided to try dmt for the first time. Going into it I was kind of nervous and anxious because I didn't know what was going to happen. Once again it began okay, some really intense visuals and hallucinations, but shortly there after I experienced the same brain "frying" sensation as before on my acid trip. This time it seemed to go further to where I 100% believed I was going to die. This "bad trip" was almost the same as the last bad one. I was wondering if that was just a coincidence? Or what actually happened? Or if I should ever do this again? Also I wanted to get the opinion of others about this. So if you could help it would be much appreciated.

 

[Enoon]

Hello Womp516,

Welcome to the Nexus. Before your bad trip on acid, did you ever have any positive experiences with psychedelics?

Here's my thoughts on the issue: Sometimes it's just not the right time in our lives to do psychedelics, and we can't let go of certain thoughts or patterns. Usually it is some kind of resistance (to let go, to make a decision, to accept something) that causes bad experiences such as these, but there are other things as well.

Two things that come to mind for me personally: 1) I cannot trip when I have a cold or something of the likes - it always without doubt results in a bad trip. 2) If I feel judged concerning my use of psychedelics - by my partner, my parents, my co-workers, I usually end up having a bad trip. This can even be the person I'm tripping with, that gives me this sensation. Really it's just a reflection of my own doubts... But these doubts can make the trips very dark and difficult.

Just like with 1) I pointed out, any kind of physical discomfort you have can become amplified by psychedelics. Dehydration, fatigue/lack of sleep, prolongued unhealthy diet/lifestyle, hangover from other durgs, depletion of vitamins, some virus etc. - they can all help your trip to go south.

It's possible that you have some psychological/internal issue pending that you need to resolve before your trips become more light-hearted again; it's also possible that there is some physiological issue that was present in both experiences which made them end up like they did; and finally it's possible that it was simply a coincidence, but my bet is on a mixture of the first two.

Good luck with your future travels.

 

[Jin]

^^ this

also try checking out a few threads about being in the moment , emptying the mind , paying attention to breath and sound , these techniques can effectively push trips into a positive direction

 

[dooby]

I once had a near-death experience on lsd...

Though not very pleasant at first, I do not recall this as a bad trip... It was a very profound experience which allowed me to come to terms with my mortality. Once I overcame my fear - and totally accepted the fact that I might die at any given moment - I felt very liberated...

In my opinion tripping is not all about fun and games all the time - if that's what you're after perhaps other substances might suit you better... A psychedelic experience can "challenge" you in many ways, and avoiding or running away from these challenges will only get you so far - learning to accept them as a learning opportunity might get you further...

Even at times when you are completely happy, healthy and mentally stable, a heavy dose of lsd (or mescaline, dmt...) can present you with some minor or major mental challenges - nevertheless I do believe in the importance of dose, set and setting, but in no way do they offer a 100% guarantee for a pleasant experience...

Perhaps time will offer you a new perspective on your experiences - as long as you learn from them they were not "bad", but "difficult"

I hope you do not feel judged or offended by my comments - that is certainly not my intention...
You were presented with a challenge that you may not have been ready for yet, and in no way makes that you a lesser person.

PLUR

PS It's called the acid test for a reason

 

[Womp516]

Thank you all for the responses it really means a lot. I came here to try to get help, any information I can learn about this is helpful and I won't get upset or offended.
1) I have done acid a total of four times including my bad trip. I have also done shrooms which over all I feel was a good experience.
2) there is definitely something/someone that I need to let go of. That could be the reason it went south.
3) when it comes to being able to accept the fact I may die is where I have trouble. It feels so real that I had this lazer or something just on my brain. Like it was frying. I felt my hair was on fire. Like yesterday and my previous bad experience with lsd, everytime I would try to calm down it felt I was getting closer and closer to "death" which in turn scared me so I had to do something to stop it. Whether this means jumping up and down, rambling on really fast, or yesterday I just left his house within five minutes of doing this.

Also I wanted to add this in. During both experiences, the people I was with were looking into my eyes but I felt they were going deeper. I felt as if they were a subconscious part of me that was telling me to stop or else my brain would fry. I was so convinced of this and I'm not sure if there's anything I can do to prevent that.

 

[Ez]

Ego death is scary. Plain and simple. Ayahuasca and vaporized DMT are unique in the that they can bring about ego death quickly, where as in my experience, Mescaline or LSD can create a much more difficult to accept ego death.

And the thing is, you really feel like you are dying, but I promise that if you just go with the flow. Don't fight that feeling of creeping death, but just let go and let what happens happen. Well, that's where the real magic of psychedelics happens and that's where the fun starts.

Regarding the brain sizzle, I believe this is fear based response that has been engrained since early childhood through fear mongering and propaganda. Unless you're working with unknown or newer rc's or possibly poor/unknown quality mdma I don't think you have anything to worry about.

 

[112233]

I remember my first death experience on DMT, my first breakthrough, when reality shattered. It the same thought so many of us have had: "whoops. I just killed myself." Who's going to feed my dog? It wasn't a bad experience at all, because I accepted it right, I just lay down and died, figuritively speaking. And then the figuritively resurrection, with great laughter. I've never had such an experience on LSD or mushrooms, but I've only had real LSD a few times.....and my first breakthrough was when I took a small puff of changa while on LSD. Letting go really is the best thing you can do, just accept whatever happen, without fighting. Easier said than done in certain cases, no doubt, but with more experience comes more wisdom.

 

[Womp516]

So you all don't think it is weird that I had an experience on lsd then that experience continued on while I was on dmt? I'm almost afraid to try it again because I don't want to actually die ya know? Any suggestions???

 

[dooby]

Lethal overdoses of lsd or dmt have, to my knowledge, not yet been reported...

You will not die physically - it's called "ego death" because "ego" is a manifestation of the mind and it often stands in the way of acquiring knowledge, insight or wisdom...
Therefore, the importance of being able to "let go" of your ego is not to be underestimated...
Usually, the ego death is followed by very rewarding and profound experiences - I could tell you more about that but I won't...

And no, having this experience "continue" is not weird at all, you could look at an lsd trip as a puzzle, and at some point during the trip, the final piece falls into its place (the eureka moment) - if this does not happen, some question that needed to be asked or answered during the trip but wasn't, can linger in both your sub- and conscious mind...

Another way of putting it would be "you threw it away on acid, and dmt showed you that it is a boomerang"

Live and learn

 

[Womp516]

Okay thank you all for the responses it really helped. I'm gonna game a couple months to try to clear my mind and when/if I do it again I will just go with the flow and let whatever happens happen. Do you think that place I have gone to twice is where I'm supposed to "break through"?

 

[realitycheck123]

Just to add Womp516

It is 100% that we die, we all die.
As for dying on your trip is another matter.
Just make sure you have a peaceful mindset.
Do it for the experience and the learning, I know people who have used this for a "buzz".
This is a connection to yourself, that you did not know.
It's a connection to everyone and everything.
In my opinion only.

 

[Ez]

So you all don't think it is weird that I had an experience on lsd then that experience continued on while I was on dmt? I'm almost afraid to try it again because I don't want to actually die ya know? Any suggestions???

This is completely normal. Try it again, only next time, embrace the experience. Let go, put on some soft music, dim the lights and let your ego dissolve into the experience. It may even be worthwhile to investigate the use of oral DMT with an maoi as this often helps ease the transition. Caapi and Syrian Rue are both known to work well.

 

[Womp516]

Okay so just to be clear, it is normal for me actually feeling like I'm gonna die and feeling like the people I'm with are trying to convince me to die? That's just my ego dying?

 

[Ez]

Exactly! It can be really scary if you don't know what's going on. Heck, it can be even when you think you know what's going on. But eventually those feelings will pass.

 

[Womp516]

Thanks for all the help and information everyone! I really appreciate it and I know how to handle next time.

 

[Rrryan]

Okay so just to be clear, it is normal for me actually feeling like I'm gonna die and feeling like the people I'm with are trying to convince me to die? That's just my ego dying?

It is not normal to believe people you are with are trying to convince you to die. That would be a delusional bad trip.

Staring people down with eye contact while tripping can be really confusing though. It will manifest all sorts od stuff.

Sounds to me like you should cool your horses some more. 4 hits of acid when you've only done it a couple times is a lot. And smoking DMT 7 weeks after a really bad time, with a short history of psychedelic use to draw on, it doesn't surprise me that you just went back to the same place.

I would suggest making your next trip a very special event with an ideal set and setting, even if that means waiting a while. Think through what is likely to be a good healthy space, and then take a moderate to low dose.

And watch out for RCs. Some are sold as acid and can produce unhealthy physical symptoms. You don't want to associate tripping with physical stress brought on by a second rate chemical. It is challenging enough to deal with the good ones.

 

[aleph 1ne]

As scary as they are, I love me a good ego death. i"ve had this on mushrooms a couple times ( heavy doses), LSD (also a heavy dose) and DMT. Both LSD and DMT were my first time also. They always leave me with a sense of depleted self importance and a stronger connection to the present moment. I learned that, for me, a "bad trip' is where the real work happens. It's not bad, it's just difficult. It may be necessary for further progression to take place, however. There is a ton of great advice already posted here.. I agree with the previous comments. I'd also add that focusing on the integration (how to live with and utilize the experience for growth) is key. Much more useful than dwelling on the experience itself.
For me, the "brain frying" thing also happened my first time with freebase dmt. i thought I was a goner for sure!! haha. I didn't think of it as "frying" though. Although It did feel that way, as you described.. Instead, I imagined that new pathways had been blown open within the conduits of my brain. This, to me is a very good thing.. It means that I can now perceive the world through a different lens than before. Perhaps a larger one?... which is my reason for partaking in the first place..
I felt like, after my ego death experiences, i had a clearer moral compass as well as a sense of being able to see the root of things.. Art for example, even some social situations or relationships. But it is no walk in the park, that's for sure..
Sometimes having a simple mantra or word or set of words planned out can save your ass in situations like these..- If, that is, they are not what you are looking for. - Sometimes when I enter, to get past the initial rush, I repeat something like "calm and gentle" until i feel like I have a grasp on whats happening to me. This has worked for me in mid trip too, should things get hairy.. Other times, there is no thinking. Even an attempt at thinking results in more mind-fuckery. lol. If that's the case, just roll with it.. Submission to the experience can yield sensationally positive, permeating effects. That is easier said than done though. At least for some people.

If you plan to use psychedelics in the future, be prepared for this type of situation to the best of your ability.. i.e clean, safe set and setting, having a sitter, good physical health and mental energy. no impending stresses or responsibilities..
At any rate, I wish you luck.
One last thought.. Maybe you are dosing a bit too heavily.. Finding your sweet spot is tricky. It may take an ego death or 2.. haha.. Safe travels.

 

[Womp516]

When it came to acid I did 2 first, then I did 3 twice, then I did 4 twice. The second time I did 4 was the first time I reached the "ego death" stage but didn't go through with it. But after experiencing this dmt trip where it was essentially the same as what happened to me on lsd, I feel comfortable saying that is my "ego death" and I believe next time this happens I will be prepared to just go with the flow and let whatever happens happen. And as far as the dosing goes, I will try a little but less next time and experience that

 

[upload]

As scary as they are, I love me a good ego death....

likewise...it's such a beautiful experience. Yes, it's scary, but the truth and unity I experienced after just can't be described. I've only experienced it once. I've been trying to get that deep again, but I can't quiet my mind. The first time was easier for me, maybe because there were no expectations. Now, when I try to go there, my mind keeps generating random thoughts...it keeps me from going deep.

 

[Womp516]

I'm just going to take a couple months to clear my mind and then try it again. And hope all goes well