The Great Nothing

[5150saint5150]

I researched DMT for a few years before I tried it. I've heard first hand testimonies stating the experience was positive and life changing. I've been making it myself for a few months now and I've broken through twice and the experience for me was anything but positive. I've yet to see any entities or fractals or patterns it's more like a eternal void of my consciousness. The sensation I feel once the breakthrough begins is complete and total fear as reality is stripped away and I'm presented with macabre and evil and the life I was living is gone forever as I witness what the void is going to feel like from that moment on for eternity. I immediately start apologizing and begging the void to put me back. The sounds emanating from eternity are a mix of giant machines turning gears (kinda sounds like an old train starting to move) and screams of agony. As I lay in the fetal position remembering the life squandered I realized what it was about life that made it so special. The pain of loosing that felt unbearable and soul crushing. At some point it seemed to me like the machine was reconstructing the reality I came from as different versions of realities cycled before me rapidly eventually slowing down and stopping at mine. I'm not sure what to make of this experience, if this is was awaits me at death then i would like the record to show that i said "fuck that shit". I don't think I'll be holding my hits In as long anymore because I enjoy DMT until I break through. Any one else go through something like this because the hundreds of experiences I've read about other people having not one was remotely close to mine.

 

[GreaseBall]

do reckon you have some level of Aphantasia?

 

[TheGreenPhantom]

Maybe it's the material you're extracting from. It's dark and moody. Trees and plants have different "personalities" based on genetics and growing environment, which can further be influenced by recent weather conditions. From a materialistic perspective, of course this means differences in chemical make-up which carry over to psychological effects.

Also, try to seek without seeking. Simply be a witness. Your time in the Swamp of Sadness will pass....

 

[universecannon]

I've had similar experiences at times, so you aren't alone. Fear tends to twist the experience in that sort of direction for me and it can be difficult to let go. That said, I find the mainstream ideas of DMT to not align with my experiences in general. So it might be best to just learn to work with whatever doses you find most useful and relinquish any expectations.

I personally find sitting up and eyes open, activily working with the state through yoga etc usually far more useful than laying down

 

[redbird]

do reckon you have some level of Aphantasia?

I have Aphantasia but experience rather vivid experiences on DMT. Psychedelics seem to be the only thing aside from dreams that induce mental imagery.
This sounds like something else.

 

[5150saint5150]

I've had similar experiences at times, so you aren't alone. Fear tends to twist the experience in that sort of direction for me and it can be difficult to let go. That said, I find the mainstream ideas of DMT to not align with my experiences in general. So it might be best to just learn to work with whatever doses you find most useful and relinquish any expectations.

I personally find sitting up and eyes open, activily working with the state through yoga etc usually far more useful than laying down

I wasn't laying down when I started. The fear drove me to the womb.

 

[5150saint5150]

do reckon you have some level of Aphantasia?

Pardon my aphantasic friend. How do you come to that conclusion regarding me.

 

[5150saint5150]

I have Aphantasia but experience rather vivid experiences on DMT. Psychedelics seem to be the only thing aside from dreams that induce mental imagery.
This sounds like something else.

Do you have an inner voice? They say some people do not. I find that rather perplexing. The inner voice is an integral part of the human experience. Checks and balances if you will.

 

[redbird]

Do you have an inner voice? They say some people do not. I find that rather perplexing. The inner voice is an integral part of the human experience. Checks and balances if you will.

At least two

 

[rkba]

At some point it seemed to me like the machine was reconstructing the reality I came from as different versions of realities cycled before me rapidly eventually slowing down and stopping at mine.

A Rolodex of realities were shown, eventually slowing down to stop at yours. Now you have seen that your reality isn't the only one.

I'm of the opinion that we create our own story of the reality we want to be in, that it is malleable, and that we can direct it. Once we successfully redirect it it will be reflected back.

I'm currently sifting through my own story-rolodex, assessing the 'origin' and deciding -for myself- if it has any 'validity', again for myself. My current gages are 'happiness' and 'love', if they are not pegged the story is questionable and subject for replacement.

Once selected I start questioning the story every time it comes up. During the questioning I 'listen' to what presents itself from within. If the alternate story from within feels good and makes my Soul smile, I will recall the new 'explanation' every time a situation presents itself.

Knowing that it is just another story/reality from the Rolodex of Life, but this time it makes my Soul smile.



Believing something over, and over, and over, ad infinitum, and it will eventually be reflected back.

I'm also starting to think that we may also be dealing with reflections from before the 'I' in its current state. Although that really doesn't matter.

They're all stories, so pick and choose for yourself. Find some 'feeling' you can gage against and create!

So, as always, Flux with Joy and Enjoy the Flux!

 

[rkba]