Trouble with breaking through

[gooseisgoose08]

looking for some perspective on something odd. I've never broken through. I've gotte really close and had some really strong experiences, but never fully across the threshold. I'm pretty comfortable with DMT at sub-breakthrough levels, so the substance itself isn't unfamiliar to me.

Here's the issue: every time I set up for a real breakthrough attempt, I load the vaporizing setup, get settlled, and then right at the moment of inhaling, I stall. Something in me just stops. And it's not that I don't want to do it. I genuinely, fully want to. It's something I've been working toward for a while.
It also doesn't feel like fear in the usual sense. I'm not more nervous than you'd expect from someone about to step into another world. It feels more like a reflex, like my body is vetoing a decision my mind already made. Strange feeling.
Has anyone else run into this? And for those who've been through it, what helped you get past that last hurdle on a first breakthrough? Any advice on setup, mindset, or approach would be appreciated. Thanks

 

[northape]

Oh my, you're far from alone. You can actually feel right at home sharing these feelings here

Thread 'Why DMT Scares Me'

Mar 2, 2023

PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: Actually, very fine.
(physical condition) Set: Fit and healthy
Setting (location): My room at my altar.
time of day: Early evening. 1730
recent drug use: Cannabis earlier in the day, was on my microdose, harmalas 15min prior to changa.
last meal: Jumbalaya- 1630

PARTICIPANT
Gender: M
body weight: 63.5kg
known sensitivities: Sensory Processing Sensitivity
history of use: Seasoned (15 years)

BIOASSAY
Substance(s): Cannabis with 30mg+...

• Voidmatrix
• dmt
• Replies: 500
• Forum: Quality Experience Reports

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[bezevo]

nobody seems to be able to define "A BREAK THREW no clue what it is

 

[brettsta]

We all experience that same apprehension and fear when attempting to
push past the threshold, it's normal to fight it , it's not easy .
I will sometimes talk myself out of it right at the moment of breakthrough . I experience the same when kayaking down a rapids or of a waterfall,
Sometimes I need to shout at my self and psych myself up .

To be honest I've been experiencing that recently, it can be frustrating because I know 95% of the time it's pure bliss, and I know there is good there ready to welcome me.

I'm not advising this for others , I'm not saying this is what others should do , it's one of those situations that only you can work it out !
But I know what it is with me , it's a blinding fear and the lack of courage.

So I've increased my pre meditation / breathing to a good hour before , and that is helping a great deal ! I also Have a good word with myself and psych myself up like I do when kayaking. After all the negative of kayaking is drowning, the negative of DMT is just a illusion.

Good luck, there is no right or wrong way to enjoy life

 

[iownme]

as was said yesterday on another post.

"your taking a break from yourself"

relax and enjoy

 

[gooseisgoose08]

as was said yesterday on another post.

"your taking a break from yourself"

relax and enjoy

Thanks that’s really good advice when you put it like that it makes it feel way less intimidating. I think pre trip I’ll sort of say that to myself

 

[iownme]

when you put it like that it makes it feel way less intimidating

i felt the exact same thing

I think pre trip I’ll sort of say that to myself

i said the exact same thing

and what better gift and vacation can one give oneself ?

 

[northape]

Then at some point, you ask yourself who is taking a vacation, and your sense of identity expands. I once went to the other extreme:
My friends were going to Tenerife for a week, but I had no money for the trip. So, I did a strong ceremony with acacia instead. Right as the medicine started to hit hard, a thought crossed my mind: "Some go to a spa, but I have my own tryptamine spa right here." Long story short, the plants did not appreciate that prideful attitude, and I was taken on a hard, white-knuckle ride on the psychedelic train. It's better to be honest, yet humble. That works much better

 

[pantostao]

my own tryptamine spa

I usually feel like this. I've used the exact same words before when trying to describe it to a friend.

But this is usually an afterthought rather than my intention before the trip. I agree with you, it's better to be as humble as possible and not expect anything.

 

[froggydays]

Maybe an idea to do some smaller doses first, at some point you lose the inhibition to take a (final) high dose.

 

[Neo-shulginist]

looking for some perspective on something odd. I've never broken through. I've gotte really close and had some really strong experiences, but never fully across the threshold. I'm pretty comfortable with DMT at sub-breakthrough levels, so the substance itself isn't unfamiliar to me.

Here's the issue: every time I set up for a real breakthrough attempt, I load the vaporizing setup, get settlled, and then right at the moment of inhaling, I stall. Something in me just stops. And it's not that I don't want to do it. I genuinely, fully want to. It's something I've been working toward for a while.
It also doesn't feel like fear in the usual sense. I'm not more nervous than you'd expect from someone about to step into another world. It feels more like a reflex, like my body is vetoing a decision my mind already made. Strange feeling.
Has anyone else run into this? And for those who've been through it, what helped you get past that last hurdle on a first breakthrough? Any advice on setup, mindset, or approach would be appreciated. Thanks

I had such subconscious hestitations with LSD for a decade. But then a friend gave me a drop that was about ten times as strong of what we both had expected. Since then, nothing stops me any more from taking some extra

 

[Ernestine]

Since you have a vapourisation setup, there's nothing to stop you taking a little bit and then adding some more on top before the first hit has worn off.
If you use a reversible maoi like syrian rue it's even easier because you have a longer window to redose in. I found this an excellent way to work up to going deeper. Once you're comfortable in the space you can work up to taking a full lungful. OTOH, there's no rush and you will get there when you're ready, there's no need to rush.