Did you feel the Rue was calling you to keep increasing to access ever deeper dimensions of it, or were you of the mind you wanted to just keep upping the dose to see what would come since you were tolerating it well?
Thats a hard question tbh, the rue spirit is really mysterious and it rarely communicates directly, Im not fully sure if the rue was calling me to keep increasing, but i do know it was okay with it, i do think it was calling me to increase at least up to a certain point though.
Its just that ever since i had that 30g trip, i had one objective, which was to try to have that state as my baseline, or at least something close to that state, i kept wondering what will happen when one tries to maintain that state.
Trying to describe that 30g trip wont do it justice, but it was pretty much a state of full on enlightment, imagine being on a heroic dose of mushrooms or dmt, but being in full control of your trip, thats what it felt like, being sent to the deepest depth of this universe but having a very powerful guide making you clear headed and not "lost", even the visuals were under my control, i remember at the time walking in the street going to buy some weed, and just looking around while walking would induce this incredible orgasmic sensation, i just kept repeating in my head "so this is how heaven would feel like", and everytime i would play the music i usually play, i literally couldnt play more than the first few seconds of the song because i felt like i was going to burst into tears, the emotional state i was in was truly out of this world, psychedelics would make me feel like im in higher realms, but this made me feel like i was closer than ever to the highest realm that exists.
I was even with my grandparents at the time, and i remember they were telling me that i was a miracle, and not a normal human, and a "superhero", which sent me even deeper onto the trip, but they seemed to have forgotten about it the day after, there was some real magic that happened that day, i even asked them at the time, you know the plants that i take are a gift from god right? (They knew i was a psychedelic/drug user) and they said we cannot ever disbelieve you.
I have had glimpses of that day with daily use, especially when i went above 10g, i think that "state" is where im at right now, its just that the reward of being in that state is now random and context dependant, not a constant orgasm the whole day.
I do know for a fact though that the rue called me to take those 30gs, because at that time i didnt really like rue, it was just a very random thought that popped in my head, and i did it just out of curiousity.