I had a feeling it was about oil burner after you shared more. Yes, those can stain with flame sources such as matches. Try using a torch. Let the flame get damn close, but not touch the bulb.
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Why DMT Scares Me
- Thread starter Voidmatrix
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- dmt
Thank you it's nice to know that I am experiencing the same things as you. I have tried with low success the lower doses I almost always go all the way if I decide to go at all. Maybe a function of my personality ? maybe an opportunity to work more in that space. Thanks again for the responses.
Y
I encourage you to stay with the process, with curiosity, to see what in you leads you to go deeper if there was an intent to stay lighter. You may be surprised at what's there and what shows up.
I say this fresh out of a 10mg space. Hands were shaky for sure.
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Do you always weigh out your dose? I always optimize for hit quality and quantity and the better I get with the GVG the experience is almost different than the battery powered vaporizer. I would almost say that they are different experiences, something like cousins that are related but also very different. Listed by intensity~(in my humble opinion)
Changa
GVG freebase
Vaporized freebase
And a few other variations of oral harmline/Thh
Back to the original question do you weigh out every dose every time?
Y
Changa
GVG freebase
Vaporized freebase
And a few other variations of oral harmline/Thh
Back to the original question do you weigh out every dose every time?
Y
I weigh my doses of freebases but not of infusions.
Have you compared changa experiences in a vaporizer, a gvg, and a bowl?
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Have you compared changa experiences in a vaporizer, a gvg, and a bowl?
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No, I only have the GVG as far as pipes go. I had never considered putting infusions into the vaporizer. With the GVG and butane lighter I have I have been able to heat the diffuser nice and evely and achieved a cherry in the changa, I just can't take more than two good pulls in a row.
Yeah, the harmalas and dmt seem to vaporize at different rates. However, if you’re getting a cherry/combustion with the GVG, then it’s pretty similar to just smoking the changa, I think.
Btw based on how long I’ve been on this forum, you’d think I was some kind of dmt master. However, that couldn’t be further from the truth, as the mere thought of smoalking makes me want to hide under the covers
Yeah, the harmalas and dmt seem to vaporize at different rates. However, if you’re getting a cherry/combustion with the GVG, then it’s pretty similar to just smoking the changa, I think.
Btw based on how long I’ve been on this forum, you’d think I was some kind of dmt master. However, that couldn’t be further from the truth, as the mere thought of smoalking makes me want to hide under the covers
I will find a straight one, although today after my earlier comments I checked and found that I am at the end of a jar and need a new one. Any and all recommendations for the leaf portion are welcomed.
Mullein, raspberry and marshmallow leaf.
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If anyone ever wonders, I wake up getting my ass psychologically kicked and it is good ground to do good work.
This morning, when I awoke in the usual state, I was thinking a lot about self-loathing. For one reason or another, I thought that self-hate and self-loathing would be more conscious and active than they likely are. Well, self-hate may be pretty conscious and active, but self loathing seems to be much more subconscious and passive. I bring this up in reflecting on the times I have been deeper and it was easier. The only difference each and every time was people. The right people in that moment. Because from them I felt, support, excitement, eagerness, etc from them, things that I don't feel for myself. So then while alone... we are where we are.
All that so say, the work is and has been a subtle working to erode my own self loathing.
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This morning, when I awoke in the usual state, I was thinking a lot about self-loathing. For one reason or another, I thought that self-hate and self-loathing would be more conscious and active than they likely are. Well, self-hate may be pretty conscious and active, but self loathing seems to be much more subconscious and passive. I bring this up in reflecting on the times I have been deeper and it was easier. The only difference each and every time was people. The right people in that moment. Because from them I felt, support, excitement, eagerness, etc from them, things that I don't feel for myself. So then while alone... we are where we are.
All that so say, the work is and has been a subtle working to erode my own self loathing.
One love
Always curious, always exploring, and always interesting.
DMTx is something else. The amount of understanding that keeps dawning on me is a beautiful gift. As I have described it before, it's like little silk strands slowly dropping and raining down with crystals on them. I can take them, keep them, and weave them into the tapestry of my being as I see fit.
Two days ago, I "received" another insight. It's more like it dawned on me from an introspective interaction with myself and information or insight from the space. I really do feel like I "make contact" even when I haven't taken any medicine. I see the spiral I am in more clearly, and I also see some parts of the game the space has been playing with me.
It's hyperspace, so what I am talking about is weird and oddly fleeting. The quote above highlights the important instance. I mention that the insights it decided to provide me about me made me uncomfortable, so I went back in two more times, not receiving any clarity, but having the message delivered even deeper. The insights weren't bad, but they're something that triggers my fear of arrogance, let's just put it that way. The other consideration is why should I listen to the space? Why should I trust certain "loaded" insights from such an alien space? I understand the appearance of power and being greater than anything we've experienced, but it's hard to pin down enough about the space to take things at face value, on the nose, etc. We've seen what happens when that occurs.
Anyway, I digress. What I am trying to illuminate is the nature of the work I have been doing on myself. Me being so opposed and taken aback by a gift the space wanted to give me in my first journey is a sign of deep personal work that I need to do. It symbolizes a self-loathing that lives in the unconscious. I literally have to see myself differently to get to where I am going. There's a block felt between my heart and solar plexus. DMTx worked on searing through that and it mirrors this work. I feel like hyperspace tosses me deeper into itself on low doses as a way to help me learn what my work with it. And that is hard hard work for me. I'm scared of myself...
I've gone round and round questioning, so much so they've had to replace several horses over time. But I think I have a better understanding now.
This is almost a 20 year circle
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My Lovely Horse?
I've clearly still got a lot to learn in the DMT world, I guess everyone has a little screwed up bit of self, but I mostly feel pretty stable, level-headed and usually find I can reconcile any cognitive dissonance within myself and find peace in my decisions and thoughts. So unless the DMT realm throws me a serious curve-ball I constantly feel I'm just here to explore and experience, will I find the hard yards of personal development?
Keep the snippets coming @Voidmatrix
Btw, during the DMTx session were you recorded in any way, audio, video, for personal or research purposes? I'm not asking to hear or see, I see that as quite personal.
It's poignant in this moment that you ask this question. To answer the question, yes, I have an audio recording from two sources and there will be a movie made about it...
It's poignant because it is another highlight to the point of self-loathing is that it has been hard to get myself to listen to it. I will though. I have been working on the report to share with you all as well.
Thank you for your share as well.
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I like most folks who read these threads think about them especially in the context of doing DMT. Why anxiety/fear is always associated is because they are powerful emotions and thoughts. Which is why we are all here and I value your contributions and wisdom so when I see you post with a word like self-loathing it concerns me. I hope it was just a word choice thing and not a reflection of your character.
Y
Could you expand a little bit of what you mean? I am not sure i am understanding.
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I kinda freaked myself out this morning, but in doing so I think I may have stumbled upon a way of going deeper with less intentionally.
Reflecting on @yatyas314 post above as I laid in bed this early morning, I figured it would be a great way to show myself some love after a sleepless and restless night.
There was a brief internal debate that reflected self doubt. I remembered my new preference of approach: take my time with my dose, there's no pressure to finish it.
I hit the vape a few times and laid back thinking I'd gotten most of the dose. I enjoyed the mild experience. I wanted to see how much was left over and give myself a redose so I fired the mod up again before taking another hit. There was plenty. The reinitiation of the experience was in stark contrast to the initial dosing. It freaked me out at 5am. It was much faster with my mind and consciousness slowly slipping into hyperspace more than I was anticipating. One of those instances where we self-sooth: it's okay, you're okay, you're safe.
I will play with this more.
Now, let's tackle the day.
One love
Reflecting on @yatyas314 post above as I laid in bed this early morning, I figured it would be a great way to show myself some love after a sleepless and restless night.
There was a brief internal debate that reflected self doubt. I remembered my new preference of approach: take my time with my dose, there's no pressure to finish it.
I hit the vape a few times and laid back thinking I'd gotten most of the dose. I enjoyed the mild experience. I wanted to see how much was left over and give myself a redose so I fired the mod up again before taking another hit. There was plenty. The reinitiation of the experience was in stark contrast to the initial dosing. It freaked me out at 5am. It was much faster with my mind and consciousness slowly slipping into hyperspace more than I was anticipating. One of those instances where we self-sooth: it's okay, you're okay, you're safe.
I will play with this more.
Now, let's tackle the day.
One love
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I've experienced that playing with low doses too. Using a vape, I will repeatedly take a low dose, redosing every time the effects start to diminish. There seems to come a point where some threshold is crossed in the blood levels of DMT (or so I assume), and suddenly a dose that was just like those before has much stronger and more sudden effects.
The first time it happened to me I wasn't expecting it at all. I had assumed temporary tolerance would slowly increase and make each dose less effective, not more. It's also quite counterintuitive that doses don't seem to progressively become stronger (at least in my case, and taking these quite low doses), but there's suddenly one that's considerably stronger.
My mental model for it now is that there's some kind of threshold blood level where the effects become suddenly much stronger. So by taking low doses one makes DMT levels progressively go up, without causing much of a difference until suddenly the peak concentration of a single dose reaches that threshold.
I don't know if that model resembles what actually happens at all. It's also not unlikely it has been studied already and I just don't know. So it's just my uninformed guess about what may be happening.
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