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A Meditation Thread
- Thread starter DmnStr8
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I really enjoy swimming underwater. The underwater bit triggers an instinctive economy of movement and cessation of mental effort. Thinking about it, maybe this is my alternative to skydiving…
[Disclaimer: DO NOT attempt this in combination with psychoactive drugs!]
I recently made a commitment to meditate more.
I stopped meditating for a period of time due to life and whatnot. Life started to suck pretty bad and so I decided to go back to meditating and make an attempt to heal myself. For the past few months I have been meditating every evening for about 20-30 mins. I would stop around this time and feel like I didn't want to stop. I enjoy the time I spend in meditation now. There has been a switch, I am not restless, my racing thoughts are less frequent, my internal dialogue is improving.
This switch occurred after sitting and watching this madman I have in my head (I say this lightly). This crazy mind I have creates such marvelous thoughts and also very dark ones. I avoided the dark ones for a long time. As I sat, I had no choice but to watch the way I think and I suddenly felt as though all these thoughts belonged to someone else. The story was no longer mine, I could see the illusions my mind would create.
Most thoughts come and go, no problem. Some repeat over and over. It was those thoughts that pointed me towards something special. Those thoughts were the ones I did not want to think about. The bad thoughts of my past traumas as a kiddo, fear of my present moment and feeling like I was failing in life somehow, and fears for my future. So I went deep into each one, felt them until I had tears at times, felt it and acknowledge the pain that was there. This thing screaming out over and over. The unacknowledged shadow waiting to be seen. When I did this, I found the core, I found pieces of myself, a soul retrieval if you like.
Found the pieces, found the core and then let it go. I forgive anyone who has caused me harm in my life and any pain that came as a result of that harm. I let the story go. Now i can sit in peace for the most part. I still have racing thoughts every now and again, sometimes those old memories and feelings pop up, I still get sad, angry and the whole range of being a human being on this crazy planet. I anticipate struggles and that is just fine with me. Bring me my pain and fears and let me see it, let me heal it, to heal it I must be right next to it. No longer pushing away or pulling something in. Allowing life to breathe and be ok with whatever comes into my life. It ok to struggle, in fact that is where we can learn the most.
I vaped some lower dose DMT while meditating recently. I had strong CEVs, geometric patterns and my emotions were all over the place at first. This calm found it's way to me and it felt like dipping into a hot tub. That ahhhhhh feeling. When I has that feeling I saw the following. Not worth a trip report per se, but I did write down my impressions of this vision right afterward. I thought it might be worth sharing here on this thread. I am out of my mind at times lately.
I keep seeing this black circle within a pitch black background. Not sure how I can see this black circle at all, it's almost like it has a glow to it compared to the black background. This thing contains everything in the universe and yet nothing at the same time. Even calling it a circle or black is not right. It's in my minds eye and I can only see it if don't look for it. I did not see it before. It was right there the whole time staring me in the face, it was behind everything else. I felt like I was inside and outside of it, like looking in a mirror. When I looked at it I felt as if I belonged, I was a part of it. It could not exist without me and I cannot exist without it. This was not just for me, it is for all beings in this universe, we are all connected by this black circle mirror that is hard to see.
I stopped meditating for a period of time due to life and whatnot. Life started to suck pretty bad and so I decided to go back to meditating and make an attempt to heal myself. For the past few months I have been meditating every evening for about 20-30 mins. I would stop around this time and feel like I didn't want to stop. I enjoy the time I spend in meditation now. There has been a switch, I am not restless, my racing thoughts are less frequent, my internal dialogue is improving.
This switch occurred after sitting and watching this madman I have in my head (I say this lightly). This crazy mind I have creates such marvelous thoughts and also very dark ones. I avoided the dark ones for a long time. As I sat, I had no choice but to watch the way I think and I suddenly felt as though all these thoughts belonged to someone else. The story was no longer mine, I could see the illusions my mind would create.
Most thoughts come and go, no problem. Some repeat over and over. It was those thoughts that pointed me towards something special. Those thoughts were the ones I did not want to think about. The bad thoughts of my past traumas as a kiddo, fear of my present moment and feeling like I was failing in life somehow, and fears for my future. So I went deep into each one, felt them until I had tears at times, felt it and acknowledge the pain that was there. This thing screaming out over and over. The unacknowledged shadow waiting to be seen. When I did this, I found the core, I found pieces of myself, a soul retrieval if you like.
Found the pieces, found the core and then let it go. I forgive anyone who has caused me harm in my life and any pain that came as a result of that harm. I let the story go. Now i can sit in peace for the most part. I still have racing thoughts every now and again, sometimes those old memories and feelings pop up, I still get sad, angry and the whole range of being a human being on this crazy planet. I anticipate struggles and that is just fine with me. Bring me my pain and fears and let me see it, let me heal it, to heal it I must be right next to it. No longer pushing away or pulling something in. Allowing life to breathe and be ok with whatever comes into my life. It ok to struggle, in fact that is where we can learn the most.
I vaped some lower dose DMT while meditating recently. I had strong CEVs, geometric patterns and my emotions were all over the place at first. This calm found it's way to me and it felt like dipping into a hot tub. That ahhhhhh feeling. When I has that feeling I saw the following. Not worth a trip report per se, but I did write down my impressions of this vision right afterward. I thought it might be worth sharing here on this thread. I am out of my mind at times lately.
I keep seeing this black circle within a pitch black background. Not sure how I can see this black circle at all, it's almost like it has a glow to it compared to the black background. This thing contains everything in the universe and yet nothing at the same time. Even calling it a circle or black is not right. It's in my minds eye and I can only see it if don't look for it. I did not see it before. It was right there the whole time staring me in the face, it was behind everything else. I felt like I was inside and outside of it, like looking in a mirror. When I looked at it I felt as if I belonged, I was a part of it. It could not exist without me and I cannot exist without it. This was not just for me, it is for all beings in this universe, we are all connected by this black circle mirror that is hard to see.
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That's beautiful experience Tripolation!
Maybe that black circle mirror is a mirror-ball-of-Reality reflecting back our individual Light-of-Intent.
Just some loose associative correlations that bubble up, in my mind, while reading all these post. Cross-threaded. Bound to bind.
I've recently completed a third year of practicing "western" occultism seriously. One performs various highly specific rituals night after night (with variations) with one's body while forming various gestalts mentally simultaneously. As part of the practice the effects of these actions are predictable and expected, a measurement.
"Really it's all window dressing for interacting with "MIND" or God or Reality (the real one) , ", some goofball said. This statement begs the rebuttal.
But I meditate and practice buddhism as well to hedge my bets i guess, or i suppose that buddhism and meditation came first and they mesh perfectly with this later practice so why stop
"Really it's all window dressing for interacting with "MIND" or God or Reality (the real one) , ", some goofball said. This statement begs the rebuttal.
But I meditate and practice buddhism as well to hedge my bets i guess, or i suppose that buddhism and meditation came first and they mesh perfectly with this later practice so why stop
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Practicing the Diamond Sutra
Edit: Ken finished his translation of the Diamond Sutra and wrote a book on it after the course. I'm reading it right now.
Very worthwhile series for any meditator. May all be well
Edit: Ken finished his translation of the Diamond Sutra and wrote a book on it after the course. I'm reading it right now.
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this one is great
Here is a series of talks with Dan Brown, an American practitioner of Tantric Buddhism who came very close to the goal of this tradition, if not all the way.
He was a clinical psychologist, and these talks are the best representation of Tibetan knowledge for the Western mind, imo. I encourage anyone who has the slightest interest to read these books. There are no techniques there - just pure wisdom. If you have the means, you can buy them all in paperback or on Kindle.
Sarva Mangalam
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What a sobering read it is. Yes, it is not about psychedelics, but still. For people who imagine that they are at some "awakening" stage (myself?), it is a godsend.
I can see right away how long the path actually is and how much devotion (dedication) it takes. Most likely, working on "being a good human" is already highly advanced for most of us. It feels like any kind of awakening is a natural progression of maturation, and you cannot just escape your life into nirvana. We all know this, but reading about a Westerner who actually did the work gives it weight. I would urge anyone who reads these posts to learn what this is all about before meditating and falling into their own illusions.
Having a real teacher is essential, and I see why. As in any human endeavor, we need mentors who went ahead and know not only the map, but the territory too.
Yes, all these psychedelic states and imagery are awesome, but how much of it is really transforming our lives? After a point, you see that sporadic medicine use is just maintenance. I remember reading about the Dalai Lama, and he said that two hours of meditation a day is just maintenance to clean your mind of daily impressions. That makes sense. That is why we can purify our minds for decades with medicine use and not get far. If one wants to go deep on the plant medicine path, diets are essential. Even then, awakening is just a byproduct of medicine work. That is just our natural inclination, and everyone is going there at their own pace.
Most likely, I will stick with simple practices that I know work for me. If life allows, something else will come my way when I am ready. You cannot learn anything from books. They are just to motivate and systematize your own knowledge. We read only what we already know. That is why books written by sages or highly advanced beings have a lifetime of use. You see a new idea each time you reach a new stage of development. Anyhow, we are all going toward full awakening. What matters is Love, no matter the tradition. It is simply an order of magnitude higher than thoughts and can never be reached by the ordinary mind. Whatever you do, do not forget this. Our basic nature is all-good. Getting rid of all the clouds that cover the Sun of our true being is the way. May we all know our true nature
I can see right away how long the path actually is and how much devotion (dedication) it takes. Most likely, working on "being a good human" is already highly advanced for most of us. It feels like any kind of awakening is a natural progression of maturation, and you cannot just escape your life into nirvana. We all know this, but reading about a Westerner who actually did the work gives it weight. I would urge anyone who reads these posts to learn what this is all about before meditating and falling into their own illusions.
Having a real teacher is essential, and I see why. As in any human endeavor, we need mentors who went ahead and know not only the map, but the territory too.
Yes, all these psychedelic states and imagery are awesome, but how much of it is really transforming our lives? After a point, you see that sporadic medicine use is just maintenance. I remember reading about the Dalai Lama, and he said that two hours of meditation a day is just maintenance to clean your mind of daily impressions. That makes sense. That is why we can purify our minds for decades with medicine use and not get far. If one wants to go deep on the plant medicine path, diets are essential. Even then, awakening is just a byproduct of medicine work. That is just our natural inclination, and everyone is going there at their own pace.
Most likely, I will stick with simple practices that I know work for me. If life allows, something else will come my way when I am ready. You cannot learn anything from books. They are just to motivate and systematize your own knowledge. We read only what we already know. That is why books written by sages or highly advanced beings have a lifetime of use. You see a new idea each time you reach a new stage of development. Anyhow, we are all going toward full awakening. What matters is Love, no matter the tradition. It is simply an order of magnitude higher than thoughts and can never be reached by the ordinary mind. Whatever you do, do not forget this. Our basic nature is all-good. Getting rid of all the clouds that cover the Sun of our true being is the way. May we all know our true nature
What a sobering read it is. Yes, it is not about psychedelics, but still. For people who imagine that they are at some "awakening" stage (myself?), it is a godsend.
I can see right away how long the path actually is and how much devotion (dedication) it takes. Most likely, working on "being a good human" is already highly advanced for most of us. It feels like any kind of awakening is a natural progression of maturation, and you cannot just escape your life into nirvana. We all know this, but reading about a Westerner who actually did the work gives it weight. I would urge anyone who reads these posts to learn what this is all about before meditating and falling into their own illusions.
Having a real teacher is essential, and I see why. As in any human endeavor, we need mentors who went ahead and know not only the map, but the territory too.
Yes, all these psychedelic states and imagery are awesome, but how much of it is really transforming our lives? After a point, you see that sporadic medicine use is just maintenance. I remember reading about the Dalai Lama, and he said that two hours of meditation a day is just maintenance to clean your mind of daily impressions. That makes sense. That is why we can purify our minds for decades with medicine use and not get far. If one wants to go deep on the plant medicine path, diets are essential. Even then, awakening is just a byproduct of medicine work. That is just our natural inclination, and everyone is going there at their own pace.
Most likely, I will stick with simple practices that I know work for me. If life allows, something else will come my way when I am ready. You cannot learn anything from books. They are just to motivate and systematize your own knowledge. We read only what we already know. That is why books written by sages or highly advanced beings have a lifetime of use. You see a new idea each time you reach a new stage of development. Anyhow, we are all going toward full awakening. What matters is Love, no matter the tradition. It is simply an order of magnitude higher than thoughts and can never be reached by the ordinary mind. Whatever you do, do not forget this. Our basic nature is all-good. Getting rid of all the clouds that cover the Sun of our true being is the way. May we all know our true nature
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