post one liner jokes

[DoingKermit]

Why was everyone friends with the mushroom? Because he's a fungi.

 

[Pharmer]

If a carrot and a lettuce were in a race, who would win?

The lettuce because it's "a head"

 

[DmnStr8]

How do you kill a circus clown?
Go for the juggler!

Why don't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is

The midget fortune teller that kills his customers is a small medium at large.

What is Bruce Lee's favorite drink?
Wataaaaah!!

The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to santa.

My friend recently was crushed by a pile of books, but he only has his shelf to blame.

Why didn't the life guard save the hippy?
He was too far out man.

 

[Godsmacker]

A dylaxic man walks into a bra.

 

[downwardsfromzero]

How do you move four cliffs? With a fourclifftruck...

 

[downwardsfromzero]

Having tried absinthe, I can see why Van Gogh painted a chair then cut his ear off.

 

[dreamer042]

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?

Spoiler

Dr. Dre

 

[entheogenic-gnosis]

Ok, first joke:

The drug war *rimshot*

Moving on to the next joke:

Modern american politics *rimshot*

Hmmm...trying to think of another good joke...ok, here's one: alternative facts *rimshot*

-eg

 

[Oskar]

Here's a couple of last years Christmas Bon Bon jokes:

What do you give the man who has everything? Antibiotics.

Why did the Scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was out-standing in his field.

 

[entheogenic-gnosis]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

-eg

 

[downwardsfromzero]

I've been huffing a lot of brake fluid lately.






I can stop any time, though.

 

[downwardsfromzero]

Why don't lions need batteries?




Because they have manes...

 

[downwardsfromzero]

Here's what might be a new one:

What did the pirate say when he noticed his welding gas was missing?









Aaar gone...

 

[hug46]

An old couple are enjoying a night together in the local pub, when the wife whispers, "I just let out a silent fart. What should I do?"

Her husband replies "Well, for starters, you can put a new battery in your hearing aid."

 

[DmnStr8]

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

 

[soulfood]

What did the slug say to the snail?

"Big issue?"

 

[DmnStr8]

There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''

 

[nathanielle]

I was reversing my car and I thought "this takes me back"

 

[dreamer042]

Ever hear the one about the hippie and the mormon (LDS) church?

He misread the sign, thought he was going for a trip and they sent him on a mission.

 

[Sunnyside]

Two cannibals, eating a clown ...

“Does this taste funny to you...?”